Monday, May 6, 2024

Slush Pile 10

Previously, on slush piles:

Slush Pile 1

Slush Pile 2

Slush Pile 3

Slush Pile 4

Slush Pile 5

Slush Pile 6

Slush Pile 7

Slush Pile 8 

Slush Pile 9

"The silver cord is the electronic shadow of the umbilical cord" (neat phrase, but in context was about a man massaging mothers' feet to get their toddler to stop tantruming)

-Species of hermit crab that nibbles the heads off corpses, settling in the stump of their neck and puppeting them around
-Army ants are able to form their own bodies into structures - bridges to cross gaps, rafts to cross rivers - species of army ant that picks skeletons clean then forms themselves into "muscles" on the bones to ambulate
-Animal that lives in snowy area - instinctually rolls up snowballs into structures and traps - not like dung beetles though, too obvious
-White apes are not domesticated, not even tamed, simply kept amicably drunk - their hangover-induced rages should their supply taper off are the stuff of nightmares
-Like Warhammer lashworms - monster that nests in crevices & cracks with extendable body that can strike out at a distance, can only be struck in return by long weapons, or by flooding crack with oil and setting it alight, or somesuch
-For a darker dryad: the Bellflower Maiden from Ao Oni: The Animation (Movie) - a parasitic plant with blue flowers - makes men hallucinate that it's a beautiful woman, uses them like bees to infect actual women with its seeds, the women become possessed by the plant and eventually eaten from the inside out to spawn a new one, the man's penis is eaten by a flower and then he mutates into a big blue ogre to defend it
-From Godzilla: Kaijuu Wakusei - giant monster emerges on planet, wipes out native life, replaces biosphere with organisms derived from itself
-Like sand hunter, monster with small hivemind in packs - attacks with limited self-sacrifice, grappling & exploding & suchlike - hard to train initially but very valuable once they are - can retain training for many generations
-Ice toads are sapient & can talk... noted to struggle building tools/shelter because of their lack of thumbs... perhaps toad-city painstakingly licked out of the ice like Audhumla... lava tubes dug out and the lava flash-frozen into objects of complex obsidian shape
-Loonatics, driven mad by the waterfowls' call, dive endlessly beneath the waves chasing drowned moonbeams - the abundant foam around their mouths is enough to filter the water to breathability - they eat lugworms and swallow mussels whole, and seek to enslave sane surface-dwellers to serve their bizarre & futile quest
-Ghouls who reach a certain maturity - or putrescence - will devour their own eyes, lips, and limbs, and wriggle down into the bowels of the earth as great pallid worms
-Monster bound to particular location - like undead guarding a tomb - which can bring one person back to a sort of half-like and mark them - it releases them from its territory, making them believe they survived a brush with death, while acting as a tether that allows the monster to leave the place it's bound to to hunt fresh prey
-Warlord Bromeliads: Desert plants that grow a single fruit of tremendous size - animals eat warrens into its yellowy flesh and have their brains altered by the enzymes (or whatever chemical) within - they come to see their host-plant with tremendous loyalty, and can be marshaled by it to march against its rivals
-Giants with names & life-cycles like stars?
-A radio or sonic signal which liquefies internal organs of people exposed to it for long enough into hungry slimes, which puppeteer the corpse they're in for a while with varying ability before fully consuming them and merging into a living sea beneath the source of the signal - perhaps devices can be found which produce a counter-signal able to cause this sea to congeal and disgorge new servitor-forms
-Bad pun... poplar opposite... a doppelganger spawned from a clonal colony of poplar trees, all sap and supple wood under the skin that looks so much like yours...
-Modern horror hag: crazy cat lady & her chowder of cats linked telepathically and deranged by mutant toxoplasmosis - seek to kidnap infant compatible with the strain as new prime host
-Guys with anthills in their gums instead of teeth

Gun made with the springlike core muscle of the haun,
Apron more like the chestpiece and gorget of a bomb disposal suit, for smithing rowdy elementals into shape,
Thoqqlock muskets, made with the red-hot horntip of a thoqqua,
Communication device utilizing the connection between bodies of xantravars
Spit-snakes fitted into grooved tubes by a fireside, turning roasting meat at an appreciable rate as they find a more comfortable temperature - often the snake whose venom felled the beast which the meat came from is given the honour of turning it
Birch trees grown in the winter dead - their bark unwound like a spool of tape, but still attached! - and burned projects visions of the luminous threshold

Spellbooks as like those mostly-tedious creepypastas with names like The Candlestick Game that are long lists of instructions with intimations of terrible fates if you stray... wiggle your fingers just so for a fireball... but beware not to twist your tongue on the Eleven Syllables... or you will be gotten by the Blue Entity...

Sound can affect gene expression - extrapolated setting: jazz gene-hackers in 1920s New York operating under the nose of Rockefeller Foundation eugenicists, rubbing shoulders with bootlegging mafiosos
-re: planetary ambient noise note from 7th slush pile, and its absence causing anxiety in astronauts - the morphogenetic field is a sonic phenomenon, music expressed through the medium of biology, a world- and species-uniting teleology with a coda as its end

There's precursor-species in the Abyss & Hell - the obyrith & old ba'atorians - supplanted by demons & devils with the influx of human souls - what predates angels in the heavens, the pre-human Good?

An incorruptible corpse with hair that never stopped growing, woven by its worshipers into shroud-armour
-perhaps in setting with reincarnation or fated births or somesuch - pre-saints - beniformed fetus softly shuddering on a velvet pillow within a golden monstrance, taken from the womb which once held it to be an object of veneration, to grow into a person of great power and virtue when the appointed hour arrives

The kings of this kingdom bend a living tree into their throne - the patience and skill to do so a sign of their aptitude for leadership - the court is a grove housing the thrones of kings past

Programmable bacteriophages - the technocratic solution to the end of penicillin and so on - are the origin of GenoDie - haplogroup-targeted virus

"At the lowest layers of Arborea is a bleak desert littered with the bones of gargantuan creatures, and ruins belonging to no known civilization, holding secret words that can destroy gods" - "no gods no masters" as practical principle and hidden weapon of chaotic good, uncomfortable overlap with nihilism of the Grey Waste

A lich whose phylactery is the spell which bears their name
-A lich who minted their phylactery into currency, and cannot be killed so long as this currency's in circulation
-A lich whose phylactery is a sub-culture - more fitting for modern, humourous games - their soul possessing in part all goths or hippies or somesuch
-A lich whose phylactery is an altered lycanthropic curse, infecting people so that they become the lich when the moon shines full
-A lich who made the fountain of youth or philosopher's stone or somesuch their phylactery - destroying it will make powerful enemies

"There is a network of caverns that still resounds with the primordial frequency of the world's birth screams" - from World of Darkness: Mysterious Places - great line

Bug lepers which is like leprosy but instead of your nose falling off your body is slowly turning into bugs
-Mourners with red-painted faces, singing songs of grief and otherworld-sending from the moment their relative passed within their house to sundown
-Sea called Sacred Blue...
-There's sleepy catfish hibernating in the riverbed that are fished by hoarse-voiced old people who stick their heads underwater and scream to wake them up - it's a dying art

Worship of evil god of strength and so on ironically leading to halfway-decent society - many stronger than one, healthy stronger than sick, cooperation stronger than division, etc. - aqueducts and ritual public execution of criminals

Dungeon decorated with giant stone heads - depictions of gods or archetypal masks used by inhuman benefactors - trickster-head indicates puzzle or hidden feature, warrior-head indicates guardian-beast ahead, etc. - can also squash things with them

An order of wizards who, instead of taking toads or crows or somesuch as familiars, instead themselves become the familiars of beings as much above humans as we are above toads or crows or suchlike

Words that would make good names for monsters: druse, druxy, draggle, dracontine, gangrel, humectant, emollient, rinky-dink, floccose, manciple, syzygy, adumbral, baetylus, tiddleywinks, iatrogen, leucist, cotillion, kibosh, curvet, poltroon, phalanstery, ganch, thiol, stulm, craniopagus, welch, ossein, congener, azeotrope, speleothem

Passage in dungeon - big statue of crocodile with open mouth, gullet leads to other room full of treasure (grave goods) - mural on wall depicts mummified dead being slid into its mouth - statue will allow those wrapped up like mummy through, but chomp up anything else

Practically-applied psychophysical harmony - exotic & extreme emotional states applied to people to make their bodies & brains into molecular assemblers for novel, useful chemicals, labs of phenomenologists & affective neuroscientists drafting up theoretical qualia, their environmental and so on inducers, the valuable products which might be extracted from those experiencing them - simultaneous knowledge that this industry is based on the reality of God and flagrant defiance of Him

Fantasy biome - farmfields of inscrutable crops, cultivated by fallen civilization, should be tasty nutritious fare but nobody remembers how to safely harvest or process the crops, and the scarecrow-equivalents are very deadly

Leysers - weaponized ley lines, menhirs shooting earth-shaking beams, druids in ablative stone spaceships launched into orbit for astrological schemes

Post-nuclear apocalypse - radical anti-radiation biotechnology - like butterflies retain memories of their caterpillar-lives, humans liquefied into massively-redundant neural soup, contained in insectoid chrysalis-exoskeletons - perhaps need to occasionally scan or even consume baseline humans to correct for errors that creep into their soup-selves, or against The Science they start metamorphosizing into something inhuman & terrible

The weapons wielded by a hobgoblin army are all wives in the harem of their warlord - the corpses sired by them are the legitimate children of the warlord and their wives - for a warlord's soldiers to use weapons of their own on campaign would be considered something like cuckoldry

Alien artifact - bio-slurry of millions of distinct structurally-unusual proteins akin to prions - don't fold each other, but when in contact with biomass odds are at least one of the proteins will be able to interact & catalyze transformation of the biomass into that of the aliens who created the artifact, complete with genetically-programmed memory - kind of like bit harder sci-fi version of the black sludge from Prometheus

A.I. emulation of the dead - there was a Black Mirror episode about this - variant: A.I. emulation of the living - elder-care robots in near-future of increasingly-geriatric populations, built in emulation of children and grandchildren for the comfort & reassurance of their charges - because said charges are probably in some level of cognitive decline the emulation wouldn't even need to be that good - could make for good Capgras syndrome-esque horror story from perspective of senile protagonist

In large enough crowd, humans behave like fluids - not sure if this is actually true, but it sounds true - many ways you could build off that - human solutions, human acids, vapourization of people to colonize the clouds, etc.

Pounce: Fine powder often made from powdered cuttlefish bone or sandarac resin, used to dry ink and make rough writing surfaces smooth enough for writing. Kept in a pouncet-box.
-perhaps  more exotic powders are required for pounce used for scrolls & suchlike
- a pouncet-box made out of a gawp-mouthed taxidermied imp - in real-world, the exploding fruit of the sandbox tree was used for pouncet-boxes, hard to improve on that

A humpty-dumpty man with a parasite living in his skull - when it needs to feed it bursts out, and when it wishes to return to its host it pieces his head back together around it and re-animates him
-skin like just-now-creamsplashed coffee

Certain electromagnetic frequencies can actually repair tissues - perhaps the "negative energy" which animates the undead is a misunderstanding of these frequencies when they are powerful enough to return dead tissue to life
-necromantic rites use the negative quasi-elements (salt, ash, dust, and void) to leash the anti-engine of negative energy to dead flesh - e.g. open the ribs of a corpse, remove its heart, and place a hot coal in the place where its heart lay with your bare hand - bite a blister that grows because of this and let the fluid dribble into the corpse's mouth - the corpse will rise and dance as you order, but must be regularly slaked with fine wine, or the pain in its chest will drive it insane

Man with pygmy marmoset, or something with similar frantic monkey energy, tethered to his wrist, screeching and scrambling about - the tether links their veins together, pumping pure frenetic little guy adrenaline into the man's bloodstream

A sort of lime which can only be slaked by blood - makes the finest whitewash and mortar, fit for the homes of kings

Snuff societies jealously protect the recipes of their mixes and the iconography of their trays and snort-tubes - each claims the bones of a different animal for their exclusive use, and the spirits of these animals are their liasion to the wider cosmos

Blemmyes, lacking heads, also lack conventional brains - their autonomic nerves take up the burden of cognition - this distributed consciousness tends to lead to blemmyes having a less discrete & singular idea of personhood, and also their leg might wriggle around on its own for a bit after you chop it off

A far-future Earth, tunneled through down to its core (mined-out) and saved from its exploding sun out of sentiment - 100+ billion years in the future - an unimaginably-long age of wonders before the death of the stars, now post-human super-intelligences only reside in Dyson spheres around artificial black holes, leaving planets like Earth to the more human-like, low-energy life to reclaim, surrounded by the power-hungry wreckage of the past

Flea-men - or big intelligent fleas - evolved on the bodies of hairy hill giants, learned to turn giants and smaller men into obedient mounts by tapping out some of their cerebrospinal fluid

A pandemic disease similar to Alzheimer's, which weakens the ability of those infected by it to distinguish between memories of dreams and reality
-OR in wake of Satanic ritual abuse panic, false memory creation/recovery becomes super-science, applied en masse to make people remember a new history

Desert nomad raids to unearth and destroy the orgone cloudbusters creating an artificial rainshadow

Modern horror seeds:
-"Why don't coal miners just learn to code?" + biotechnology - treatment is developed to return childhood-like neuroplasticity to the brain for easier retraining of reserve labour, however this treatment can also cause tissues to become undifferentiated tissue and redevelop into new appendages, organs, etc. - This is accepted by the corporate overlords as an acceptable side effect, even beneficial when your new team of coders becomes adapted to work around the clock in cramped and deprived conditions, but soon enough people who've received the treatment begin to adapt to unplanned for ends - becoming able to live off scavenged trash, survive without shelter, become predators of pacified and sedentary populations, and so on and so on. - perhaps endgame of most people reduced to interlinked substrate, their consciousnesses reduced to producing a utopian dream-simulation for the virtualized rich
-You remember those dolls that could eat and poop (odd toys) - ok they’re that but in fact shells for alien/genetically engineered/shadow biosphere whatever that got snuck into the product to further their life cycle while hiding from prying eyes, and I don’t know they brainwash kids into murdering their families or something - crack a plastic/porcelain doll open and it’s some metamorphosing caterpillar soup inside
-Lowest performing programmers at some corporation receive ultimatum - become test subjects for eye drops meant to improve focus and prevent eye strain when spending long hours staring at screens or get fired - key ingredient in eye drops is some parasite in supposedly “docile” form - “more realistic” life cycle - test subjects become prone to internet radicalization and random violence, thus exposing more people to the parasites through their fluids - Or have the parasites let them see ghosts/ghoulies/demons/home dimension of the ultraterrestrial parasites or whatever - Or: first sign of trouble, test subject start committing suicide at statistically improbable rate - corporation gets concerned because the test subjects had some promising projects going on - turns out parasite ramps up pattern recognition to irrational levels, test subjects think they’ve invented brain uploading, have put together useless nightmare machine that spits out random outputs the parasite hosts interpret as the souls of the dead - suicides think they’ve joined the machine - whole office turned into booby trapped maze due to their paranoia
-Celebrity architect fascinated by "Sick Building Syndrome" sets out to create the sickest possible building - makes real "haunted" mansion that can drive people in it insane, which becomes pilgrimage site - and often final resting place of - urban explorers and youtube content hounds
-People figure out a way to get high by sticking their head in a microwave with a few modifications but it makes you dangerous crazy and it's on the internet - maybe it's like that thing where a magnet on your head can give you religious experiences and now there's an evangelical microwave cult grabbing people and cooking their brains and oh no they've stolen a police truck with an anti-riot microwave weapon on the back and now things are getting very serious very quickly
-Rods and cones are sentient now and in a civil war in everyone's eyes and the rods are making people watch black and white movies and the cones are doing Jackson Pollock splatters out of anything colourful within reach and it's going very badly for everyone (Stephen King pastiche)

More recent Lovecraftian stuff leans more away from it "driving you insane" and more towards extreme stress reactions - but maybe this "Lovecraftian madness" is a real (within the setting) phenomenon distinct from mental illness - like four-dimensional pressure waves caused by entities moving through higher dimensions are what cause it, similar and potentially treatable lesions & ruptures & so forth - maybe certain exposure can even warp the brain and nerves into higher dimensions, and that's how you get sorcerers

Beholders and Eyes of Fear & Flame both stem from the Intraocular Heresy - eyes which learned to emit their own illicit spectra, rather than submit to the orthodox light of the stars

Superheroic 5eish D&D taken to natural conclusion - only one person of each class, each a PC or important NPC, there are not barbarians but THE BARBARIAN, CHAMPION OF RAGING RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!, or THE ASTOUNDING SORCERER!!! - these superheroes/villains are the only people with character class levels in the world, that is their superpower - perhaps similar for monsters - THE BEHOLDER, MASTERMIND OF THE OCULAR ARTS!!! - and they all fight/do crime in THE METROPOLIS OF WATERDEEP or what have you
-for general superhero stuff: Sideways Street, a settlement in a frozen moment of time, a whole little society in the slice of a fraction of a sub-segment of a second, a sort of temporal Sargasso Sea populated by speedsters and time travelers who swung too close to a snag in the speed of light to easily escape it

Hexcrawl feature: giant whirlpool & the hulk-flotilla, mermaid sargassum-town, dead zaratan pirate hideout, etc. around it - each day or watch or what have you the hexes swing around the whirlpool clockwise, takes twice as long or more to travel against the current

Ok so depressant drugs slow down the heart, and stimulants speed it up... how about like a tele-drug that averages/distributes the hearts of those on it... and users would be pressed to get more people hooked on it because otherwise they risk dying...
-from World of Darkness's Orpheus: a drug that causes those who overdose on it to become a special kind of ghost/undead --perhaps the aforementioned heartlink drug also connects those who die on it to the "community", and they know that unless they can get more living people hooked they'll be damned to an especially bad hell - perhaps the drug itself is distilled from their ectoplasm, and their choices are damnation or dissolution into the collective through intoxication

Irish-Rwandan-Anatolian syncretic cattle raid epic-based game
-I ching-Ifa fusion prophetic digital system

Return of the hero cult in the form of networks of parasocial cells used for identity formation => strategy of tension / stochastic violence - kendrick IS obama IS the ghost of kiev IS captain america, so go out and crack the skulls of some drake-putin fleshbot trolls
-similar idea, but tricking wiccan granola witchy types to make chemical weapons by convincing them they're magic potions

Science-as-the-new-religion but done seriously, couples matched based on statistical compatibility, exchange injections of atlantic puffin oxytocin instead of vows, country carved out into experimental cantons where new technocratic policies can be imposed and tested, studies which contradict The Science covered up or not funded in the first place, brains scanned and heads frozen in anticipation of future technological resurrection, everyone who disagrees diagnosed as mentally ill, rocket-pilgrimages to the furthest corners of space that mankind has reached, etc.

Sci-fi setting wherein the only FTL travel is mental/psychic, possessing local life on arrival, panspermia rockets fire off into the cosmos - ethical tensions where the best local life to possess is sapient - maybe the travel is more two-way than people are led to believe, travelers picking up strange instincts or subconscious ghosts

Tales of Telguuth/A Fire Upon The Deep-esque - the Great Wheel is the physical wheel of a spiral galaxy, and the further you get from the stabilizing influence of the core, the more the laws of physics become mere suggestions - gods and demons reign at the edge of the intergalactic void - magic requires opening a conduit to these outer reaches, with shards of meteor-matter which fell from there, or certain celestial alignments, or what have you

Fantasy world that replaces standard fantasy race elf/dwarf/orc trinity with UFO lore reptilians/greys/nordics

Mind flayer-made livestock-people - elongated, many-lobed skulls, parallel-processing/redundant-storage brain nodes that can be plucked when ripe without killing the person - perhaps psychic antennae, broadcasting the powers of their secret farmers while thinking the powers their own, and themselves natural lords over short-skulled peoples

Sunday, April 21, 2024

D6x6 Simpering Serpentmen

This post is dedicated to friend of the blog purplecthulhu, who came up with the idea.

Click the button below to generate your serpentman:


Special thanks to Spwack for making the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 This serpentman has
1 a rattling tail which vibrates in infrasonic frequencies, inducing artificial terror in those who hear it.
2 a fractally-branching tongue which allows it to manipulate matter on an incredibly-fine scale.
3 had its ribs surgically spread into wings and studded with anti-gravity nodules which allow it to fly through the air.
4 replaced its venom-sacs with nanomachine-factories which kill those injected with them and reanimate their corpses as cyber-zombies.
5 impossibly-deep abyssal crevices through which alien stars can be glimpsed instead of pupils in its eyes.
6 the haunting husks of the shed skins of its past selves orbiting around its head, dispensing bon mots.
D6 This serpentman was
1 a slave-handler, and its hypnotic indoctrinations still work across all mammals from remnant programming.
2 an everyman-type who lucked its way into the modern day.
3 a biomancer whose magic crafted new living tools and soldiers for the serpentmen's empire.
4 a priest of the serpentmen's coiling crypto-gods, and a bureaucrat within their religio-political deep state.
5 a warlord who learned the perfected stratagems & martial techniques of their time.
6 a ritual assassin that the serpentmen used to constrain their violence to regulated arenas and casualties.
D6 This serpentman survived the general extinction of its kind
1 by wandering for uncountable eons in the timeless astral plane, going mad and clawing its way back to sanity several times over.
2 by flinging its spirit forward in time and possessing a snake mating-ball of sufficient biomass to reincarnate the serpentman - driving one snake in the ball to devour the rest and metamorphose into its new body.
3 by being ensconced in a cryogenic vault. The serpentman re-routed much of the facility's power to its own hiberna-pod to maximize its chance of survival, at the expense of its fellows.
4 by bargaining with an aristocratic house of medusas, to be petrified in its time and returned to flesh when the world had forgotten its kind.
5 by encoding itself in the genome of an upsurging lineage of mammals, leaving epigenetic triggers in place so that when conditions were right a descendant-individual would mutate into the serpentman, complete with inborn memories.
6 by pretending to be stuck in hell for a while, in fact leaving itself a back door and an empty vessel of a body to reclaim.
D6 This serpentman schemes
1 to steal an artifact which can, with enough blood sacrifice, tear a time-portal through back to the time of the serpentmen's reign, through which they will lead a trans-temporal invasion.
2 to insinuate itself into a clan of outlaw-cannibals as a fleshly deity, and through them sate its hunger for warm meat.
3 awaken a lost doomsday weapon of its people, then use this weapon to cow the world into submission so it may rule as an absolute tyrant.
4 to murder a team of archeologists who are close to uncovering the history of the serpentmen, then frame some other group for their murder.
5 to uncover a cache of skin-changing infiltrators, which it will command to take over the followings of various sun-gods and through them re-terraform the world into a more serpentman-friendly climate.
6 to spread printings of tablets looted from serpentmen ruins, which contain highly-contagious memes which will alter cultures to be more amenable to the serpentman.
D6 This serpentman views the modern world
1 with fetishistic interest in all its idiosyncrasies.
2 with an aimless rage that could be re-directed to specific targets without much manipulative effort.
3 with a deep despair which could be exploited to drive it to total inaction.
4 with bewilderment - it desires interpreters to make sense of things.
5 as a garden that's been left untrimmed and has become overgrown - in need of their drastic tending.
6 as something like a dream, experienced whimsically, which they will wake up from shortly.
D6 You might loot off the body of this serpentman
1 a very stylish hat made of psionics-enhancing fibers.
2 a hologram-belt that can project illusions of things it's scanned.
3 a whistle which when blown rouses any sub-sapient reptiles that hear it into a slaughterous rage.
4 a spray-gun full of acid.
5 a pair of ulfire-tinted goggles which allow their wearer to perceive the invisible and ethereal.
6 a bottle of pills which maintain their consumer at a biologically-ideal temperature for 24 hours.

Friday, April 19, 2024

D20x5 Vampire Hunters

Click the button below to generate your vampire hunter:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20 This vampire hunter came to the hunt
1 after their spouse was turned by a jealous bloodsucker.
2 being initiated into their family's tradition.
3 after they lost a child to a hungry bloodsucker.
4 after being attacked while stargazing in a park.
5 while working at a blood bank that was used as a pantry by bloodsuckers.
6 as an urban explorer, after stumbling on a hibernating bloodsucker.
7 while they worked as a farmhand, and witnessed livestock being drained dry.
8 thanks to a mystic vision after a nervous breakdown.
9 as the dissatisfied former servant of a vampire who turned on their master.
10 after investigating a prospective client's suspicious finances led them to the discovery of immortal undead.
11 because they were a serial killer who didn't like the competition.
12 as a conspiracy debunking podcaster who stumbled onto a vampiric conspiracy they couldn't debunk.
13 as a vampire blood addict, unsatisfied with the pittance they were given by their dealer.
14 wanting to be turned into a vampire, attempting to coerce one into turning them.
15 after being raised in a blood cult that worshiped a vampire as an angelic being.
16 as a historian who came across primary source records which couldn't be explained in any other way than by the existence of immortal bloodsuckers.
17 by way of an abusive mentor who hoped to use them as bait.
18 while working as an EMT, after seeing a turned victim burned to death by the sun.
19 while working on a tanker ship which was unbeknownst to them transporting a vampire, which preyed on the crew.
20 while they were homeless, defending their community against predators of various stripes.
D20 This vampire hunter lives 
1 in a houseboat anchored in the middle of a river.
2 in a cabin in the arctic circle for the sunny half of that region's year.
3 a totally cloistered life, ordering everything online, doing all their investigation online, only leaving their home to hunt.
4 in an old church that was partially-converted into a nightclub that was never opened.
5 on the road, in a tricked-out RV.
6 inside a steel panic room in a dilapidated house they've largely withdrawn from.
7 in a shed in a suburb they picked for having one of the highest rates of gun ownership in the country.
8 bouncing between squats and communes, trying to convince crustpunks to bash vampires under the pretense that they are fascists.
9 in a trailer by a marijuana grow-op they use to raise funds for their hunting.
10 in prison most of the time, for their many and varied crimes.
11 on the couches of fellow hunters, as a sort of mercenary paid in places to stay.
12 by camping on public land.y
13 a double life, with a normal job by day, hunting by night, and abusing stimulants to sustain their ability to do so.
14 on donations from people they've saved.
15 in the alley behind a YMCA.
16 off pawning the property of their prey and gambling.
17 in a ruined castle which belonged to one of their quarry.
18 in the sewers, a local legend.
19 out of a garage in a slumlord's house, who is willing to overlook a lot so long as the rent comes in on time.
20 in a shack in the middle of a heavily booby-trapped field.
D20 This vampire hunter's missing 
1 their empathy for anything that looks human - they love animals though.
2 their canine teeth - pulled out with their own pliers.
3 a chunk out of their neck - the scar's got ragged edges.
4 a credit score - they're trying to stay off the grid as much as possible.
5 an eyeball - that socket's been caved in.
6 some veins, tendons, and flesh from a wrist - that hand's stiffer than they'd like.
7 any extended family - they've been picked off by vampires over the years.
8 a good chunk of their memories - the result of a blow to the head.
9 their fingernails - chewed away from stress.
10 their hair - shaven off to remove a potential grip.
11 one leg below the knee - torn away.
12 their ability to make small talk - they get very serious, very fast.
13 their hygiene - their thoughts are occupied by other things.
14 a normal sleep cycle - they're able to sleep and wake up pretty much wherever and whenever.
15 any hope for the future - they're depressingly nihilistic.
16 a strong immune system - they're prone to sicknesses.
17 any fear for their own death or injury.
18 a lot of blood-iron - they're chronically anemic.
19 solid risk assessment - they're prone to lashing out at anyone who gets close to them.
20 a few of the fingers off their hand - bitten off.
D20 This vampire hunter's preferred weapon 
1 is a silver-edged scimitar.
2 is hawthorn stakes with reinforced cores of carbon steel.
3 is a string of garlic bulbs wielded like a whip.
4 is an axe with a reservoir of holy oil within its handle that can set its head ablaze.
5 is bombs, set off remotely.
6 is a high-powered UV spotlight.
7 is a squirt-gun filled with holy water.
8 is homemade grenades loaded with crumbled communion wafers.
9 is syringes of their own poisoned blood.
10 is a revolver they got blessed by a monk, priest, imam, and rabbi.
11 is a boar spear.
12 is a harpoon gun.
13 is a shotgun loaded up with bits & bobs.
14 is a sledgehammer with nails welded to it.
15 is an oil can wielded with a flare gun.
16 is a dwindling supply of claymores (the explosive kind) they got off an ex-military buddy.
17 is a macuahuitl edged with pliered-out vampire teeth instead of obsidian.
18 is a pair of uzis.
19 is spools of razor wire.
20 is a Shaolin spade.
D20 This vampire hunter believes vampires 
1 are unfortunate victims of a mutagenic virus.
2 are descendants of the Biblical Cain.
3 are hemophagic alien invaders.
4 are biological robots performing blood tests and experiments on people.
5 are possessed by demons.
6 are in control of several branches of the government.
7 put additives in processed food to keep people stupid.
8 are a curse created by the Aztec empire in its waning days to keep the blood sacrifices flowing.
9 are a natural and ancient sub-species of homo sapiens that evolved to prey on other humans.
10 are the feeding appendages of higher-dimensional ultraterrestrials.
11 are infected with a bloodborne bacterial hivemind.
12 are Mother Earth's answer to human overpopulation.
13 are corpses animated by unrestful ghosts.
14 used to be much more varied, but that Western vampires ate all the other kinds in a dark mirror of colonialism.
15 are only weeks away from using FEMA to herd people into blood-harvesting camps.
16 are kind of hot, but would never admit this.
17 tell stories about how cool and dangerous they are as a hunter.
18 come from a parallel Earth, and are invading this one since they drank up their own.
19 are critters from the inner surface of the hollow Earth that wear human skins as disguises.
20 are the adrenochrome-harvesting servitors of shadowy billionaires.

Monday, April 15, 2024

Notes on Notes on Watching Twin Peaks in a Dream, Recorded First Within Said Dream and Then Reproduced Within the Waking World of Slightly-Less Transient Appearances

I have been watching David Lynch's hit TV series Twin Peaks lately - it's pretty good. I have apparently been watching so much of it that last night I dreamed that I was watching Twin Peaks, while writing down my impressions & analysis of the show. There were some similarities between this dreamed Twin Peaks and the Twin Peaks of the waking world. I have reproduced those notes here to the best of my recollection. There will be some spoilers, both of the waking and the dreamed:

Mixture of Buddhist and Transcendentalist mythology (this was the first note made, and the one most clearly remembered - what is Transcendentalist mythology? I couldn't rightly say, but it made sense at the time)

Evil is just one part of the Black Lodge - it also encompasses fear, suffering, guilt, etc. Though a smaller share than the Black Lodge, the White Lodge holds some evil of its own, stemming from love & joy.

Room with red drapes is bardo, souls pass through White Lodge or Black Lodge, which are inextricably linked (see floor), based on their karma - as previously noted, it is not only evil souls but those overcome by shame, vengeance, etc., which pass through the Black Lodge.

Chevron floor - arrows of progress - the Lodges are not without time, the Arm evolved, but time there is a function of the resolution of contradictions between White and Black, like chess frozen between moves - the Wheel of Samsara as a reciprocal or circular saw, cyclical yet linear in progressing through the formlessness of wood/Nirvana.

Theme of the past only being escapable through the destruction of the present - town of Twin Peaks destroyed in Armaggedon-esque battle with the furious spirit of its own abandoned mine. Spirit taking form of eight-legged dragon suggests both devil and Sleipnir, mount of Odin - hung in world-tree.

Odd that my parents made a cameo appearance in the show as themselves, yet never mentioned this.

Dale eats handfuls of finely-ground raw meat paste from fridge - one of his eccentricities or delicacy of Twin Peaks? - perhaps "creamed meat" to juxtapose creamed corn of garmonbozia.

The Fireman's real name is The Dispatcher - promoted?

The dreamer living inside the dream is Lynch, as Gordon.

Audrey trapped in Black Lodge seems like retread of Cooper storyline.

Giant airport in the mountains outside town dwarfs town itself - commentary on liminal spaces? - subplot of dueling Japanese assassins in airport seemed totally disconnected from happenings in Twin Peaks (the town).

Spike Lady - unclear if she was always Spike Lady and became a ghost or became Spike Lady when she became ghost - with Albert uncommonly positive depiction of spousal kidnapping, bigamy, and necrophilia (is it necrophilia with ghosts?).

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

D6 Bug-Bears

Not bugbears, but bug-bears - half-bears, half-bugs:

1. Cicadiak: Hibernate as cub-grubs beneath the earth for decades, possessing nearby lifeforms with their dreams. Squirrels and suchlike will hide their hoards nearby, wolverines will bury their kills above the cicadiaks, and humans find themselves anticipating a great and feastwise festival to be hosted at the site, most not quite realizing this festival has never before been celebrated, and seems to have come from nowhere. At the proper hour the cicadiaks will moult into their adult forms, emerge in a great swarm to gorge on the food proffered for them, and deafen many with their roared mating-songs. Once they've laid their eggs underground the adults will perish, though their flesh is too full of parasites to be safely consumed by any survivors of their depredations.

2. Assassin Bearg: Parthenogenic killer queens, birth shapeless offspring which they lick into customized murder-shapes. They become obsessed with those who harm their cubs, even in self-defense, setting ever-better-adapted creations after their scent-trail.

3. Sun Bearab: Roll about large balls of soil, mulch, and waste, which they cultivate as mobile terrariums for their preferred snacks. Bear disconcertingly-long, prehensile tongues, which they use to snag prey and drag them to their terribly-strong jaws. Sun bearabs are the favoured animal of the Burning Hate, and one is often found in his temples, its ball adorned with sneering sun-discs.

4. Blister Beartle: Dominate beehives with their uncanny pheromones, causing the bees and their hive both to grow to unseemly size. The blister beartle, a hideous and hideously lazy creature, is then supplied with as much honey and larvae as it can eat - which is quite a lot. Should the creature be slain, its host-hive's population will usually return to ordinary bee-size within a generation. Usually.

5. Polar Bantis: Largest of the bug-bears. Snow-white in winter and able to remain perfectly motionless for long periods of time, lending it frighteningly-effective camouflage. Flashes out with speed-blinding sickle-claws when prey approaches. During the summer it mottles into a dull grey and hibernates with similar stillness, becoming nigh-indistinguishable from a boulder. Can produce hybrids with cicadiaks in the regions where their territories overlap - these hybrid bug-bears' dreams induce widespread visions of an oncoming eternal winter, leading to despair, war, and so on which leave a surplus of carrion for the creatures to feed on.

6. Gallanda: Obligate cannibals - they can only properly digest their own cub-grubs, as well as the galls which grow around these cub-grubs, which themselves can only survive in bamboo. Often used as a visual metaphor for self-defeat, and for parents who squander their wealth so it can't be passed on to their children. The bamboo-galls produced by gallandas are beautiful and easily-carved, and thus coveted commodities - however the bug-bears guard their larders/groves/crèches with berserker ferocity.

They don't look like this.

Thursday, March 28, 2024

D6x6 Tactual Takos

Takos are D&D's octopus-people, except they've only got one eye for whatever reason, and they're not humanoid, they're just octopoid.

Click the button below to generate your takos:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: 

D6These takos have
1vibrant blue rings scattered across their body.
2fleshy "wings" on the sides of their head, like elephant ears.
3a "skirt" of translucent webbing between their tentacles.
4red flesh covered in menacing spikes.
5a cyanotic, pale purple, veiny colouration.
6knobbly, sandy-coloured skin.
D6These takos fight with
1envenomated blowguns they fire with water-jets on the sides of their heads.
2metal beak-attachments bartered for with deep-sea smiths who forge in the heat of black smokers, grappling with tentacular martial arts to get in range.
3gauntlets they stick on the ends of their tentacles, some equipped with blades, others with piercing spikes, and still others heavy enough to bludgeon through shell and armour.
4slow flails of woven kelp or some other marine fiber, set with sharp teeth and stone shards and suchlike, swung into a simultaneously defending and attacking wreath around their wielder.
5long spears they wrap up in and shove with all their tentacles at once.
6paired glass or shell knives of surpassing sharpness, which they wield in scraping or scissoring maneuvers.
D6These takos can
1detach a tentacle as a pre-programmed servitor.
2regrow their heads if enough of the rest of their body survives - their minds distributed among their ganglion-nodes.
3see into spectra beyond the human eye's capability to perceive, picking up ultraviolet, infrared, and auras of magic.
4produce from their skin spirals with a hypnotic bioluminescent glow.
5build up tension in their tentacles, and after building enough release a super-heavy, cavitating strike.
6speak with each other over great distances, in a seeming hive-mind, by strumming the ground.
D6These takos are rumoured to
1be planning to flood the surface world.
2serve gods drowned in primordial times for their inhuman evil.
3create false harbours and lights to mislead sailors.
4shapeshift into humans and seduce people into awfully slimy relations.
5kidnap children who wander too close to the sea, to turn into more of their kind.
6trap the souls of the dead in coconut shells to keep them as ghostly servants.
D6These takos are sought by humans
1because their beaks are thought to make the best scrapers for shaving and bathhouses.
2because their lush blue ink is treasured for dye and calligraphy.
3because their skins can be worked into armour that provides the ultimate camouflage.
4to receive oracles related to fortunes at sea.
5because poking their eyeball is supposed to grant good luck.
6as mercenaries in naval warfare.
D6These takos live
1in settlements suspended from the underside of woven kelp-rafts, drifting on ocean gyres and grown over with permacultural microbiomes.
2in silvery mounds of foam blown from the mouthparts of domesticated giant crabs.
3in submarine canyons they roof over and carve habitations into the walls of.
4in warrens dug beneath the biggest and most ancient reefs, selectively bleaching the coral in communicative patterns.
5in a submerged system of caverns and grottoes they've carved over generations with sinuous, interlocked art.
6in scuttle-towns built in the sunken hulks of the ships of their enemies.

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

D6x6 Heinous Hobgoblins

Click the button below to generate your hobgoblins:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 These hobgoblins have
1 lanky frames with minimal body fat, as though they've been stretched out dramatically on a rack. They have trouble floating in water, but are stronger than they look.
2 reddish skin and dark flesh, due to the high amount of oxygen their blood and tissues hold.
3 abnormally bulging traps, lats, and guts from the natural steroids they produce.
4 a digitigrade posture, with their feet clenched and hardened into proto-hooves.
5 an aversion to scars and blemishes, seeing them as indicating failure of one's skill or armour, and so cake on makeup to cover them up - and this has become a desirable aesthetic of its own.
6 keratinous growths on their ears that extend them into long, horn-like protrusions - it is polite to brush one's ear-horn aside to allow social superiors to pass by, a sort of salute.
D6 The hobgoblins fight
1 atop mounts with bows or spears - in formal duels against each other, the loser forfeits the middle and index finger they use to nock arrows.
2 in dense, heavily-armoured infantry formations supported by light cavalry.
3 according to a strict code of honour - though if the other side violates this code, even unknowingly, then the hobgoblins will escalate to ruthless total war.
4 generally with the aim of capturing slaves without maiming them too badly, which can limit their effectiveness in pitched battle, and has given rise to specialized tactics and weaponry.
5 from vehicles somewhere between chariots and war wagons.
6 with absolute and brittle chains of command, tending to fall apart when officers are taken out.
D6 These hobgoblins worship
1 their great enemies, for pushing them to rise and evolve - they seek to devour these enemies to spare them the indignity of the crows and worms, and to make pilgrimage-shrines from their bones.
2 a pantheon of deified emperors. Devotees heat coins stamped with these emperors' faces and use these as brands on their skin.
3 the spirits of arms and armour - honing their souls in life to be reborn in the purity of steel.
4 a militant messiah prophesied to lead them to dominance over the whole world.
5 Necessity itself, as the master-force which enslaves all things.
6 in a syncretic smattering of hero-cults, mystical warrior-societies, and chaoskampf philosophies.
D6 These hobgoblins domesticate
1 zorbos, taking advantage of these creatures' tremendous shock-absorption to launch them out of catapults at foes.
2 geladas, training them for dumb labour and gambling on their fights.
3 gorbels, finding their rubbery flesh delicious and their floating bodies to be a bright amusement, particularly when adorned with chimes and streamers.
4 a breed of aurochs they use as mounts, wearing the beasts' horns on their helms to display their strength and potency, and making outrageously-smelly cheese from their milk.
5 rocs, using them as troop transports for elite squads, and in parades for victorious generals.
6 ankhegs, using them to dig out battlefield fortifications, eating their eggs, and making perfume from their wax. Ankheg-driver is one of the most dangerous professions in their society, giving rise to many idioms.
D6 A standard ration these hobgoblins carry
1 is is smoked larvae, often eaten mashed and fried.
2 is tooth-polishingly gritty ash-cakes.
3 is rice-cakes similar to mochi, mixed with whole dried and powdered fish.
4 is sour strips of fruit-leather.
5 is eggs that have been boiled in sauce then cured.
6 is links of black pudding.
D6 These hobgoblins live
1 in what are essentially those Al-Qaeda mountain fortresses except real.
2 in a grassy steppe they've riven with trenches, and public works like aqueducts and sewers they've built up from those trenches, feuding with the centaurs, nomads, and so on they share the steppe with.
3 in a limestone-ridden landscape of karst and cenotes. The region is a labyrinth of razor-sharp stone, sudden pitfalls, and underground canals for quick repositioning.
4 in a desert basin, surviving off taxes, tariffs, and tribute.
5 as a caste of warrior-aristocrats ruling over a cluster of non-hob satrapies.
6 on an artificial archipelago of scuttled warships, dikes, and buried reefs.