D20x5 Boisterous Bandits

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Generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	This bandit has
1	a browned and rotting grin.
2	a scarred, mottled face.
3	an intense, unwavering stare.
4	plump and rosy cheeks.
5	protruding nose and ear hairs.
6	elegantly coiffed hair.
7	front teeth chipped down to their roots.
8	chapped, scabby lips.
9	long, well cared-for nails.
10	a scraggly goatee.
11	the dangling skin of someone who lost a lot of weight very quickly.
12	terrible acne.
13	a Glasgow smile carved into their face.
14	nautically-themed sleeve tattoos.
15	an eye gone milky from a cataract.
16	a bad case of dandruff.
17	a corner of their ear torn off.
18	a protruding beer belly.
19	a tongue that’s been split like a snake’s.
20	the same finger missing on both hands.

D20	This bandit wears
1	a boiled leather cuirass.
2	the tattered uniform of a tax collector.
3	a hat made from fox tails.
4	puffy silk trousers.
5	a belt made of bent silver cutlery.
6	signet rings from three different minor noble families.
7	dog skulls as pauldrons.
8	a bandolier stocked with liquor flasks.
9	a helmet studded with nubby goat horns.
10	a hangman’s noose around their neck.
11	a garter made from dried guts.
12	clothing stitched with leafy branches as camouflage.
13	a buff coat with riding boots.
14	a tapestry of hunting scenes as a shawl.
15	a burlap scarf.
16	a jacket with copper coins sewn onto it.
17	a mendicant’s bowl strapped around their head as a cap.
18	a stained velvet cape.
19	a taxidermied sparrow on their shoulder.
20	a jester’s patchy and colourful outfit.

D20	This bandit wields
1	a scab-crusted truncheon.
2	a pair of rusty pistols. They’ll explode on the roll of a 1, and take 1d4 fingers with them when they do.
3	a chipped dagger.
4	a dented mace.
5	a stolen sabre.
6	a bent spear.
7	a lumberjack’s axe.
8	a fisherman’s harpoon.
9	a war-scythe.
10	a sledgehammer.
11	one half of a pair of shears as a shank.
12	a hefty, mossy log.
13	a pitchfork.
14	a stiletto rubbed with soot to dull its gleam.
15	a rock on the end of a rope and a sickle.
16	a bow and arrows.
17	a mattock.
18	a splintery crossbow.
19	a notched machete.
20	a miner’s pick.

D20	This bandit turned to banditry
1	because they were next-in-line to inherit an estate and the first heir wanted them eliminated.
2	because they chafed under the limits of law.
3	because their harvest failed one year and stealing seemed more appealing than starving.
4	to escape an arranged marriage to a manipulative brute.
5	because a lung infection prevents them from doing honest, arduous labour.
6	because the commons they depended upon were enclosed.
7	at a very young age, after being abandoned in the woods.
8	after a friend showed off all the ill-gotten gains they’d acquired doing the same.
9	because their village was crushed in quelling a peasant rebellion.
10	after being framed for a crime that carried the death penalty.
11	because they became addicted to a drug and became unable to pay for it any other way.
12	because they romanticized the lifestyle after hearing too many stories about folkloric bandits.
13	because even after they came back from war they were unable to turn away from the path of violence.
14	because they grew old without any children to take care of them.
15	because they’re paranoid that living in society will expose them to plague.
16	to track down and kill the bandit chief who murdered their parents.
17	because their family was hated and shunned for an ancestor’s sin.
18	after getting shut out from legitimate practice of their profession by a protectionist guild.
19	because their only real talents are in criminal pursuits.
20	out of a sadistic impulse to prey on their fellow man.

D20	This bandit specializes in
1	protection rackets.
2	smuggling illegal substances.
3	horse theft.
4	highway robbery.
5	arson and insurance fraud.
6	breaking and entering.
7	bribery and graft.
8	infiltrating the guards of merchant caravans.
9	poaching.
10	playing the bait for ambushes.
11	losing pursuers.
12	making deaths look like accidents.
13	recruiting unscrupulous sorts.
14	wrecking carts, wagons, and carriages.
15	intimidation and corruption.
16	grand larceny.
17	inspiring panic and confusion.
18	planning heists.
19	creating distractions for others to commit dirty deeds.
20	contract assassination.