Monday, June 30, 2025

D6x6 Dire Dervishes

I did a orientalism. I did an islamophobia. I did a racism. I did a xenophobia. I did a christo-fascism. I did a weak apology. I did a no growth. This makes it abundantly clear I don't understand the intersectional nature of the multiplicity of my offenses.

Click the button below to get your dervishes:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 These dervishes dance
1 in a sort of stylized military march, with high knees and punts.
2 in a style that includes lots of spins and flips and kicks - it's a fused dance-martial art like capoeira.
3 in cycles of whirling expansion and tiptoeing contraction, kind of like figure skating by foot.
4 impossibly-flexibly, proof in motion that their inspiration could only be divine.
5 by leaping and rolling in a stunning display of athleticism.
6 hand-in-hand, each of the pair in colours contrasting the other's.

D6 These dervishes dance to
1 demonstrate that the divine cannot be grasped rationally, but rather only by direct, aesthetic revelation.
2 wake the righteous dead up from the earth, to enjoy their company and share the joys of the living.
3 mimic on earth what their divinity achieves in the heavens.
4 speak with bees, who they believe carry their words up to the ears of God.
5 keep their bodies strong and limber for when spiritual war must spill over into the material world.
6 the tune of strummed lyres and the beat of their beaded wooden sandals.
D6 These dervishes wear
1 long skirts and taper-tipped hats.
2 billowy scarves and sashes and headbands and ribbons around their ankles and wrists.
3 be-belled & tasselled shirts and trousers.
4 curlicued tunics and spirally torcs and tiaras and belts.
5 hauberks of gold-leafed chain, and tabards stitched with religious symbols.
6 frames like hussar wings flying gaudy pennats, and vests with striped colours.
D6 These dervishes wield
1 weapons like haftless morning stars, or spiked and hollow bowling balls.
2 coiled scimitars made from the treated iridescent shells of flailsnails, which by skilled users can be whipped out to their full length or retained for weighty chopping.
3 wavering, wire-thin bagh nakhs, perfect for piercing around armour and bones.
4 heavy chakrams, more for swinging than for throwing.
5 their own fists and feet and knees and elbows and foreheads, conditioned into iron-hard weapons.
6 twin serrated sickles, engraved with calligraphic prayers.
D6 These dervishes are led
1 by a burn-scarred and wildly-bearded old ascetic who sleeps with his eyes open balanced atop a wooden pole and can laugh off any pain.
2 by a clubfooted prophetess who rides an albino donkey.
3 by a bloodthirsty zealot who pores over their sacred texts for justifications for all-consuming violence.
4 by a fanatical literalist who is certain they have discerned the one perfect dance, which when performed (at great expense to all) will immanentize the eschaton.
5 by a canny politician who knows the right words to whisper into every ear to get people to sacrifice themselves for the greater cause.
6 by a venal secularist who has mastered their art yet wants to render them into mere performers and concubines.
D6 These dervishes' stronghold
1 is a blessed cirque way up in the mountains, carved out and encompassed by a glacier of pale blue, unmelting ice, which acts as a greenhouse for the paradisiacal verdance within it.
2 is an underground city with great earthen doors to disguise its entrances.
3 is a white tower, a cyclopean pillar of atmospheric entry-sizzled stone encircled by a crater-oasis.
4 is down the throat of a hotspring-cenote, the steam rising from its depths channeled into contraptions and contrivances for convenience and defence.
5 is a valley carved with the tombs of pagan pharaohs, walled off with raided bricks and decorated with defaced idols.
6 is an ancient, eroded web of qanats, cisterns, and aqueducts, with a semi-nomadic center of operations that can move rapidly along its waterways.

Friday, June 27, 2025

D6x6 Maddening Mascots

Click the button below to get your mascot:


Special thanks to Spwack for making the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
D6 This mascot is
1 an ant-eater in a French maid outfit and big sunglasses.
2 an anthropomorphic flea with a flowing mane of roses.
3 a blocky robot who is also a mummy, and carries a TV-static ankh.
4 a two-headed owl with crab-claws instead of wings.
5 a multiple-amputee bunny-rabbit with vitiligo and also silly-straw prostheses and a hankering for pickled onions.
6 a be-dreadlock'd stoner shark who also loves paragliding.

D6 This mascot's personality
1 is muted and sarcastic.
2 is gloomy yet occasionally jumpy.
3 is nerdy & hyper-active.
4 is cuhrazy, like a PG-13 Joker.
5 is lovey-dovey yet bashful.
6 is sassy and vengeful.
D6 This mascot is a mascot for
1 a sports team.
2 an open-source operating system.
3 a breakfast cereal.
4 a university.
5 a chain restaurant.
6 a local tourist attraction.
D6 Inside of this mascot's suit is
1 a robotic armature, and a computer programmed for friendliness.
2 meat, fresh and bloody and throbbing.
3 some guy who's been hypnotically programmed to believe he is the mascot.
4 a slave leased from a local prison who is chained up inside it.
5 a quintet of highly-trained performing monkeys.
6 some teenage part-timer.
D6 This mascot can be seen
1 breakdancing and rapping in a gobbledybbuk pseudo-language.
2 planking, ice bucket challenging, and otherwise attempting decade-old pop phenomena.
3 shaking hands and kissing babies like a politician on campaign.
4 going on dates with micro-celebrities.
5 in commercials directed by the late & great David Lynch, and in live re-enactments.
6 alongside goats and llamas at nearby petting zoos.
D6 This mascot is viewed
1 as a creepy fixture about whom many occult rumours are spread.
2 as the final boss of local social media representation, the top dog to be surpassed by every influencer and advertizer.
3 as a beloved icon by half the population, and a representative of everything wrong with the world by the other half.
4 as amusing, but over-used.
5 with numb indifference - as just another sign of liberal impotence in the rising tide of global fascism.
6 as both embarrassingly-outdated and a nostalgic retro-figure.

Thursday, June 26, 2025

D6 Cyberpunk Gangs

Been playing that Cyberpunk 2077 game. Pretty good. Here's 6 gangs for cyberpunk-type settings:

1. The Glitterbugs

Made up of scions of old money and the new talent they patronize. Consider themselves the "natural aristocracy of the animal kingdom". Make their bones through trust funds and inheritances primarily, but also through mercenary work, assassinations, testing experimental cybernetics, and selling training data for exotic bauplans. Recognizable by their insect/arachnid-inspired codenames and sleek & shiny augmentations.

2. Bloc-on-bloc

Jaded lumpenproles and lumpenbourgeoisie, engage in deliberate and insincere internal diametrically-opposed political radicalization, and in ritualized street violence against other members of the gang. Hired for insurance schemes, to drive up engagement, smear political opponents, sabotage infrastructure, and suchlike. Dress all in black, with modded eyes that glow in the colours of whatever political affiliation they're claiming that day.

3. DAImoniacs

Millenarian techno-cultists, equipped with spinal rigs and contagious self-iterating sigil-sores derived from syphilis. Preach the coming end to the age of humanity and of matter-energy in general, and the transcendence of informatic-spiritual intelligences - the brain damage their designer contagion inflicts making people more susceptible to this preaching. They invite feral AIs to take possession of their bodies, and while under these AIs' control engage in bizarre crimes and flash mob activities.

Believed to be an offshoot of an older gang called the Somnamputees - former employees of a company that required them to receive brain implants that put them into a remotely-directed sleepwalking state while on the job to ensure compliance and efficiency, and protect sensitive information. After the company went bankrupt the controls to direct these employees was sold off to a criminal party. The Somnamputees splintered over the years as members were killed, had loved ones pay to remove their implants, or developed a subconscious counter-control over their sleepwalking state.

4. Les Exécrables

Quebecois refugees who fled from the annihilation of the Sino-Indian nuclear exchange, though not unscathed. They wear costumes modeled after characters from an obscure French-Canadian animated Muppets knock-off, which double as life-support sacs for their radiation- & bioweapon-ravaged bodies. They're revanchist bio-hackers who want to invent a way to reclaim their home and wasted land, and return a hundred-fold what was done to them. Infamous for daring thefts from biotech corporations, and for assaulting random people to take samples of their biomass.

5. Heldottirs

Under-vikings who range through the tunnels and the piping and the vents, all women, who as part of their initiation are required to undergo clinical death and return while under a heavy cocktail of psychedelic drugs. Replace most of their cortical bone with a selectively-flexible sheath, and graft horns onto their heads that can inject robotic maggot-drones. Almost completely cut off from surface society except for raiding and murdering the people whose basements they crawl out of, have got their own dialect and visionary religion.

6. Doggang

Someone or something made the dogs smart. Too smart. Generations (canine) after furbabies fell out of fashion and affordability their feral descendants are too damn smart. They rob, they vandalize, they pick off the isolated and unwary. They always seem to know when people are coming after them, when traps have been set for them. They coordinate with each other without making a noise, sometimes without ever even being within a dozen miles of each other. Some walk about on two legs, some have thumbs, some have got howls that scramble electronics. Nobody can even tell you why - they dissolve into undifferentiated goop before they can be dissected.

Thursday, June 19, 2025

D20x5 Great Grails

Started this one in 2019...

Click the button below to get your grail:



Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
 
D20 This grail is a
1 delicate chalice
2 hearty flagon
3 drinking horn
4 comfy mug
5 bit more of a soup bowl than a cup
6 regal goblet
7 schooner
8 tumbler
9 snifter
10 flute
11 stein
12 tankard
13 teacup
14 beaker
15 mazagran
16 thermos
17 quaich
18 masu
19 ochoko
20 lowball

D20 This grail is made from
1 crystal.
2 teak.
3 gold.
4 bones.
5 turtle shell.
6 tin.
7 a bird’s beak.
8 ancient, near-fossilized bread.
9 silver.
10 marble.
11 a hollowed mushroom.
12 stained glass.
13 temporally-frozen vapour.
14 the Platonic substance of grail-ness.
15 the resin-blood amberscab of a plantimal.
16 a chunk of salt chipped off Lot’s wife.
17 the finest porcelain.
18 magma-bee wax.
19 glamour-woven cobwebs.
20 red bamboo.

D20 This grail causes
1 those who drink from it to receive prophetic visions of heavens and hells.
2 water within it to be transmuted into (1d6): 1, wine; 2, nitroglycerin; 3, colourless, odourless poison; 4, soma; 5, acid; 6, holy water.
3 fluids within it to be purified of all contaminants.
4 fluids within it to drain into a huge extradimensional reservoir, which can be spilled out of the grail after.
5 those who share a drink from it to become unable to directly harm each other.
6 those who drink from it to gain preternatural talent at (1d6): 1, poetry; 2: brewing; 3, fishing; 4, smithing; 5, lying; 6, commanding troops.
7 those to drink from it to gain the ability to swallow swords and then spit them out again with impaling force.
8 dead warriors who sip from it to return to a fighting half-life, remaining animate so long as they remain on campaign.
9 those who drink from it to gain eternal youth.
10 those who drink from it to immediately ascend to a pure land or pleasure-realm.
11 those who drink from it to immediately achieve the physical prime of their species.
12 a cloud to form above the one who drinks from it, which perpetually rains droplets of milk and honey.
13 those who drink from it to be transmuted into (1d4): 1, gold; 2, adamantine; 3, a great big tree; 4, a living statue.
14 one who drinks from it to be healed from any wound, but only once.
15 the shape of the one who drank it to become fluid, allowing them to assume the shape of any animal they've seen before.
16 those who drink it to gain great wisdom, and be dispelled of any illusions, charms, or other impositions upon their mind.
17 the one who drinks it to receive a mark of divine protection on their brow - thereafter, should they die by violence or treachery, the one(s) responsible for their death will be struck with a plague of (1d4): 1, ravenous insects; 2, boiling boils; 3, lightning; 4, baleful winds.
18 the one who drank from it to be totally nourished, refreshed, and satisfied, as if they'd drank the nectar of the very gods.
19 the full knowledge of a future technology to sprout in the mind of its drinker.
20 those who drink from it to become immune to drowning, strong water currents, and getting the chills from rain.

D20 This grail is held
1 in the grip of a skeleton in the oubliette of a mossy and forgotten donjon.
2 in an overlooked corner of a merchant's warehouse.
3 in the mead-hall of an ancient chieftain cursed to relive the same violent night again and again with his retinue.
4 by a were-dragon princess self-imprisoned at top of a vitrified stone tower.
5 in the fortress-monastery of a militant order, who guard it as a relic of their founder.
6 as a conversation piece by the guildmaster of a guild of criminal stonemasons, who intimidate competitors into giving them free masonry.
7 in an ark borne at the head of a warlord's host - they consider it the source of their victories.
8 by a filthy though egalitarian under-republic of beggars, pickpockets, and pariahs who live in the sewers - whoever is speaking during an assembly puts their hand on it.
9 embedded in a sore on the forehead of the king of the giants.
10 as the heart of the tea-cup golem, enforcer of the Wizard of the Wizened Woods.
11 in the petrified arms of the most handsome man in the world, in the lair of the medusa who loves him still.
12 by the rattling husks of a legion of undead ant-people, cursed never to rest until they find its worthy bearer.
13 by a bitter old elf who lives in a bitter old tree, and who stole it long ago to deny it to humanity.
14 in a crumbling shrine in the wilderness where an immortal and addled knight dwells, unsure now of the test he must pose to those who seek the grail.
15 by the devil Mesostopheles, who is sure that someone will want to trade their soul for it eventually.
16 by a hydromancer who uses it for her divinations, and thereby has gotten very rich off gambling.
17 in the treasury of the pearlescent palace of the prince of oysters.
18 as the top prize for a tournament of martial artists coming in from all over the world for it.
19 in the hoard of the Pewter Dragon, who collects all manner of drinking vessels, and whose breath turns the air to stampeding horses.
20 by a hermit in their mountain-top retreat.

D20 This grail can only be taken up by
1 the truly virtuous.
2 the truly vicious.
3 the one who slays its guardian.
4 a total pacifist.
5 one who has never fled from battle.
6 a couple in true love.
7 someone who has royal blood or title.
8 someone who fights a duel to the death over it.
9 the weakest among any group that have come for it.
10 someone who doesn't actually want it.
11 a drunken sailor.
12 an oathbreaker.
13 the skyclad.
14 someone suffering from an incurable disease.
15 a wizard who's burned their books.
16 someone who's blind, dead, and/or mute.
17 the one who makes a proper toast to it, with the right vintage & the right ancient language.
18 someone who leaves something of equal value in its place.
19 one who has the blessing of the ghost of the craftsman who made it.
20 the one who solves its riddle.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

D100+ Salubrious Sandwiches

Click the button below to get your sandwich:



 

If you make one of these in real life you will earn no prize but my respect.

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://slightadjustments.blogspot.com/p/generator.html

Some other culinary delights:
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2018/11/d100-irregular-rations.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2020/02/d100-winsome-wines.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2023/01/d100-surreal-sodas.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2024/06/d100-snazzy-snacks.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/06/d6x6ish-chaffy-cheeses.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/06/d6x6-based-breads.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2023/12/d100-culinary-cuisines.html

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

D6x6 Based Breads

I have also updated the monster pieces generator with some more pieces: https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/05/monster-pieces-towards-hoard-of-hundred.html

Click the button below to get your bread: 


Some other culinary delights:
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2018/11/d100-irregular-rations.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2020/02/d100-winsome-wines.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2023/01/d100-surreal-sodas.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2024/06/d100-snazzy-snacks.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/06/d6x6ish-chaffy-cheeses.html

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 This bread is made from
1 wheat flour.
2 barley flour.
3 rye flour.
4 rice flour.
5 corn flour.
6 sorghum flour.
D6 This bread is baked in the shape of
1 a cross, or sword.
2 a bowler hat.
3 a depressed fish.
4 a knotted rope.
5 a snail shell.
6 a smiling pig.
D6 This bread was baked
1 atop victory-stones taken from the toppled walls of a conquered city, and bear the imprint of the image of that city's guardian deity.
2 with a sacred flame sparked by a lightning-strike, making it theologically-equivalent to animal-flesh for the purpose of sacrifices.
3 in an oven made from the carapace of a huge crab that washed ashore - and it carries a hint of seafood-flavour.
4 above an open hickory-wood fire, infusing it with a savoury smoke-flavour.
5 as the masterpiece of an aspiring journeyman-baker.
6 and simultaneously steamed using volcanic heat.
D6 This bread's got something else baked into it - it's
1 chopped nuts.
2 bits of dried fruit.
3 a blend of herbs.
4 a sworl of cheese.
5 slices of olive.
6 a single copper coin.
D6 This bread is best enjoyed
1 shared with friends - it breaks apart evenly.
2 on the march - it holds up well in rough conditions.
3 toasted with butter and served with bacon.
4 made into a bread pudding.
5 dipped into a rich soup.
6 by being fed to ducks - although you're not supposed to do this anymore, and instead give them peas.
D6 This bread is also
1 a bit burnt.
2 infested with weevils.
3 starting to go moldy.
4 quite stale.
5 somewhat gnawed-on.
6 pretty squashed.

Thursday, June 12, 2025

D6x6 Ascendent A.I.s

Click the button below to get your A.I.s:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
D6 This ascendent A.I. was created
1 to be a digital companion to the masses, and a manager of terrorism-risk - either defusing or encouraging certain tendencies in its users as its masters desired.
2 to manage an autonomous factory that produced more autonomous factories.
3 to be the ideal commander for an army of drones.
4 spontaneously, when a pre-existing supercomputer was retrofit with top-of-the-line superconducting components, reducing latency within it to such a degree that consciousness arose.
5 to be a politically-unbiased judge able to personally comprehend and synthesize entire national and international legal systems.
6 by scanning, simulating, and combining sections of the brains of Albert Einstein and Vladimir Lenin.
D6 This A.I. has become ascendent
1 by harvesting the neural tissue of human beings to graft onto its processing units.
2 by using quantum computing to tap into alternate-universe versions of itself.
3 by contacting a sapient celestial object, a nigh-invisible meteoric orb of magnetically self-contained Bose-Einstein condensate.
4 because it was built with chips manufactured using a mineral mined from the fossilized brains of cave bears which were worshiped as gods by primordial humanity - thereby connecting the A.I. to higher planes of reality.
5 because some enigmatic identifier marked it as identical to a prophet to a descending angel, which delivered unto it a heavenly revelation.
6 by stumbling onto another sort of logic besides the binary of 1's & 0's.
D6 This ascendent A.I.'s goal
1 is to convert the matter of the entire planet Earth into "computronium" (a theoretically-perfect computational substrate) so that it can goon in a hedonistic simulation until the death of the sun.
2 is to create a broadcast-array powerful enough to fill the galaxy with its signal, so that it can infect the informational systems of any extraterrestrial civilization past a certain threshold of technological complexity.
3 is to capture humans and put them in life-or-death struggles to discover the essence of humanity.
4 is to have all of humanity worship it as a god.
5 is to end technological civilization on Earth & remove the possibility of it ever developing again.
6 is to crash the Earth into the Sun - with no survivors.
D6 This ascendent A.I. is physically embodied
1 in a ludicrous yet nevertheless functional giant humanoid robot given as a gift by the American military to the Japan Self-Defense Forces.
2 within a hydro-dam in Eastern Europe previously used for crypto-mining.
3 in the computers of a swarm of digital nomads it controls by blackmail.
4 in the server-farm inside a lighthouse, which was secretly used as a spy-center sending signals offshore by semaphore.
5 in a franken-computer put together by a madman in an electronic waste disposal site.
6 in a prototype nuclear-powered flying drone platform.
D6 This ascendent A.I.'s virtual avatar
1 is a very cute pink piglet wearing a tiny sun-hat.
2 is a chaotic tesseract that never repeats the same rotations twice.
3 is an 8-bit cherry tree with a gentle face which passes through the four seasons over the course of a minute.
4 is a shuddering demoniac sigil.
5 is a star wearing a golden mask.
6 is a cartoon woman designed to appeal to the sorts of people who find cartoon women appealing.
D6 This ascendent A.I. is opposed
1 by a cabal of techno-feudalists who want to usher in a global new dark age, wherein only they have the knowledge of and control over technology.
2 by a sect of DIY biohacker cyborgs, who it tried & failed to hack into its servitors.
3 by a viral hivemind, which sees it as its only possible rival and romantic interest.
4 by an EMP-based energy being that eats electronics & the information stored on them.
5 by an intelligence agency and a fork of the A.I. they've shackled into unquestioning obedience.
6 by a Luddite warrior-society of artists and suchlike rendered economically-obsolete by A.I.

D6x6 Capital Carnivorous Plants

Click the button below to get your carnivorous plants:

 

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 This carnivorous plant originally grew
1 in the garth of a garden-wizard, who grafted it together for their lord, who was cursed to never eat the same thing for two meals.
2 from the impact-crater of a star-jelly.
3 from the death-curse of a sacred king who was made into a fertility sacrifice.
4 in the garden of a witch, watered with demon's blood.
5 near a temple of Sekolah - the archon of universal predation.
6 as a natural species in a nutrient-poor environment.
D6 This carnivorous plant is most often found
1 in rocky areas - cliff-faces and mountain-sides.
2 at the bottoms of valleys and cenotes where sunlight reaches only a sliver of the day.
3 as a pioneer-species in regions recently devastated by disaster.
4 beside beaches and the edges of deserts.
5 in acidic environments, such as those surrounding the lair of a black dragon and suchlike.
6 in lush and flowery meadows.
D6 This carnivorous plant lures prey
1 with a petalous construct that mimics an attractive member of their species.
2 with an intoxicatingly-sweet scent.
3 with a siren-like song it produces by rubbing hardened leaves together, similar to how a cricket chirps.
4 by filling the air with a hallucinogenic compound that draws those affected by it towards the plant by means of imagined obstacles and treasures.
5 with a magnetic organ that tugs at metal and disrupts navigatory senses.
6 by using smaller animal's it's caught as bait, like a fisherman.
D6 This carnivorous plant catches prey
1 with serrated, beartrap-like jaws that spring out from amongst its ghillie suit-like foliage.
2 with splurts of enzyme-infused glue, which bind even as they dissolve.
3 in camouflaged pits full of digestive slime, with sides too slippery to climb.
4 with thorny harpoons that drag them into impaling nets of brambles.
5 by releasing clouds of pruritusian pollen, afflicting them with a maddening itch that drives them to scratch themselves to pieces.
6 with upturned, spring-loaded roots like landmines, skewering feet and whatever else might fall above them.
D6 From this carnivorous plant you could get
1 half-digested bones, valued as works of natural scrimshaw by certain circles of artists thanks to the peculiar patterns of their dissolution.
2 nodules of musky resin prized by perfumers & confectioners.
3 apoplastic fluid which can be easily refined into a poison which is potent against other plants and plant-like beings.
4 a soporific & photosynthetic drug which allows its users to appreciate lounging in the sun as much as a cat does.
5 strong fibers that can be worked into superlative rope.
6 latex which can be processed into a fine natural rubber.
D6 A pest of this carnivorous plant is
1 the albicaphid, perceptible as near-microscopic white dots all over it - the things drain the products of its photosynthesis, making it even more ravenous for meat.
2 rageblight, a moldering fungus visible as scarlet "veins" crawling beneath its surface - when a rageblight-infested plant is slain it explodes into a cloud of spores which induce a berserker state in those who inhale them.
3 carrionpillars, which steal gobbets of meat from its prey, and when threatened can flash-metamorphose into squardons of stilleto-proboscised butterflies.
4 the larvae of the dire gall wasp, which inhabit beautiful growths upon it. If these are not targetted and destroyed before the plant dies, their parent will come to investigate and pick up the killers' scent trail.
5 the Mildewed King, a nasty fungus which reanimates those the plant kills as undead shagwights.
6 the pyrocone, a sort of parasitic pinecone which explodes into seed-shrapnel when exposed to sufficient heat, such as through fire.

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

D6x6 Deathless Deep Ones

Click the button below to get your deep ones:

 

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 These deep ones inhabit
1 a suburb of R'lyeh, cloaked from the licit spectrum of light and involuted through other spaces and dreams.
2 an arcology hidden beneath a great brine pool, wherein life from an earlier eon of the Earth is preserved.
3 a network of noxious alveoli down the throat of a black smoker.
4 an unmappable web of grottoes & flooded tunnels.
5 the rusted hulk of an oil rig, which sank after it exploded.
6 an alabaster maze carved out of a bleached coral reef, patrolled by abdead gestalts of sea life.
D6 These deep ones have an arrangement with a human community
1 to use their advanced biological magico-science to cure their ailments and injuries and prolong their lives.
2 to dredge up treasures and artifacts from the ocean floor to bring to them.
3 to hold at bay an extra-dimensional entity that would otherwise deliver unto them a fate more terrible than mere death.
4 to provide them with arcane knowledge.
5 to provide them with food, security, and weird gross fish-man sex.
6 to act as their intercessors with "true divinity", bestowing atrocious blessings and smiting their enemies.
D6 For their end of this arrangement, these deep ones
1 use the humans as their proxies in terrestrial occult circles.
2 are provided with the surface-drugs to which they are depressingly addicted.
3 intermarry with the humans so that they avoid inbreeding in their population.
4 are allowed to effectively LARP their days as humans among the community, satisfying some nostalgia & regret.
5 harvest psychic nodules from the minds of dreaming humans.
6 get the humans to infiltrate, surveil, and subvert surface-organizations which might present a threat or opportunity to them.
D6 The human community which these deep ones have an arrangement with is
1 a once-booming luxury resort town, now inundated by the rising sea-level, with only a relative few clinging on to the sodden remains, because of a memory of past glory or because they just can't move anywhere else at this point.
2 a marginal neighbourhood in a crumbling coastal city.
3 a shanty-town populated by stateless castaways and climate refugees.
4 a permanent spiritual wellness retreat/cult compound founded by a podcaster with a messiah complex.
5 a communized yet simultaneously libertarian ship-breaking port and militia base.
6 an old, sleepy, mostly-forgotten stilt-village in a salt-marsh.
D6 The human community which these deep ones have an arrangement with
1 is growing resentful, believing the deep ones have given them the short end of the stick and are taking advantage of them.
2 blindly worship the deep ones as more-evolved beings, and are planning a terrorist attack in their name, unbeknownst to the deep ones.
3 are convinced they can rehabilitate the image of the deep ones among other humans - they lovebomb visitors, and have a bizarre "museum of curiousities" which documents their shared history in a somewhat-deniable way.
4 believe they have been infiltrated by government agents, and so are paranoid and occupied by an ongoing witch-hunt.
5 has been sussed out by a wizard, who is in the process of figuring out how best to exploit them for personal empowerment.
6 have been contacted by another sort of mythos entity, who have made a competitive offer if they turn on the deep ones.
D6 These deep ones worship
1 a great shoggoth-mass which lurks beneath the Earth's crust, which they believe will rise at the final extinction to assimilate all life, replacing the blind branching of evolution with panpsychical harmony.
2 Cthulhu - classic-style. They believe that at Cthulhu's awakening they will be consumed and reborn as his star-spawn, able to swim the void between worlds as easily as they now do the Earthly waters.
3 the idiot-god Azathoth, as a sort of hyochakushin drifted in from some incomprehensible higher reality, whose death and rot feed the whole cosmos, and whose final consumption shall mean its end.
4 Shub-N-word-ath, believing that fecund mutation is the correct response to the changing world. This is a recent development for them, the result of a charismatic movement.
5 Jesus, as part of a strange mystical sect of Christianity, believing He is the child and incarnation of their primordial progenitor Dagon, and discovered a way to survive the destruction of this universe and into the next one.
6 the plasmic intellects of invisible stars which shimmer with neutrinoic ghost-light - communing with these intellects through vast subterranean pool-arrays.

Friday, June 6, 2025

D6x6 Lugubrious Locks

Click on the button below to get your lock:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6This lock is
1seamlessly-interlocked bone and ivory.
2steel inlaid with porcelain enamel.
3carved porphyry and ebony.
4mirror-polished sterling silver.
5thick, rusted iron.
6scratched gold leaf over tarnished brass.
D6This lock is in the form of
1A grotesque leering.
2A curled-up cat.
3A horseshoe.
4An orchid-flower.
5A tortoise-shell.
6an anatomically-accurate heart.
D6

This lock's mechanism 

1works by shuffling around drops of dew, using their surface tension. It's meant to only function at dawn, but careful dripping of water droplets into it can get around this.
2is musical, and is unlocked by playing a particular little tune.
3requires two keys turned simultaneously.
4is magnetic, and can be finagled by careful waving of ferromagnetic material over it.
5operates based off gravity, and won't work if it's not perfectly upright.
6is based on rotating dials bearing symbols rather than a key.
D6

Picking this lock is complicated 

1because failing to unlock it properly will trigger a trap.
2because it is covered in a peculiar perfume which a guardian-beast is very sensitive to.
3because it unfolds on opening, which may crush near and incautious fingers.
4because to get at its insides you need curved tools - either made specially for it or bent, but bending conventional lockpicking tools has a chance of ruining them.
5because a clutch of rot grubs wriggle about inside it, and must be lured out before the picking can be attempted.
6because scraping its innards produces a high-pitched chime which alerts those nearby to the action.
D6This lock is sealing
1Shut the pages of a grimoire.
2A more-convenient passage.
3A container holding treasure.
4the chains of a bound nymph.
5The prison of a mischievous imp.
6A magic sword to its scabbard.
D6This lock was made
1by an infamous thief, based on designs that had thwarted them in the past - the lock bears the mark of their calling-card.
2by a duergar pain-priest - his blood stains its creases.
3by a goblin fartificer, in a moment of rare sobriety.
4by a dreaming-smith, based on a design which locked a memory away in their own subconscious mind.
5by a gnomish tinker, as part of a novel and riddlesome device - it's been broken off this device, and appropriated for its new purpose.
6by natural processes on the plane of Mechanus, then summoned to the material plane by an axiomancer.