Merry GLOGmas everyone. This year the recipient of my gift is Anon, of the Pillar of Worms blog.
Gift-giving is an aggressive act. It indebts the recipient to the giver - binding them surely as if they were clapped in irons.
If you've ever seen Nathan Fielder's show The Rehearsal, I've been doing that to Anon for the last month, to ensure that I understand him inside and out - perhaps grasping things about himself that even he's not aware of. I've done all this to create the perfect GLOGmas gift for him.
En garde:
GLOG Class: Anon
Equipment: The clothes on your back, whatever's in your pockets, a phone with an inexplicable internet connection to Phlox's GLOG server and only Phlox's GLOG server, plus two items from the table of curiousities below
Skills: Frog-handling, gaming, rites & rituals
A: Outlander, Anonymity, Mr. Bones
B: Earworm, Painted World
C: Wormcle, Umbral Oubliette
D: Pillar of Worms
A
Outlander: You're from Earth. You know Earth-stuff, but nothing about your new world. People who know this will be more likely to forgive breaches of etiquette and suchlike, but may also try to take advantage of your ignorance.
Anonymity: People are essentially faceblind when it comes to you. Nobody who's seen you before can recognize you without you giving them some sign, or wearing a distinctive costume, or somesuch & suchlike.
Mr. Bones: You have a skeleton butler. He doesn't have to be named Mr. Bones, but it's recommended. His head is a goat's skull. His stats are as a skeleton. He can do everything a butler can do, and won't do anything a scrupulous butler wouldn't do, and in all things is loyal towards you. If destroyed he returns a week later complaining about dust. You can also command him to self-immolate, and he will do 1d6 fire damage to everything beside him until he perishes. It makes sense to me that you'd have this.
B
Earworm: You can cough up a worm. It does whatever you command. You can hear anything it hears. It moves as fast as a caterpillar, and is easily squashed. Outside of soft and damp loam it will perish in 1d6 hours. You can cough up as many worms as you like, but they're made out of your body mass so you can't solve a famine with worm-feed or whatever.
Painted World: If you touch a painting you can create an illusion of something depicted in that painting within 30'. The illusion will be as realistic as the painting. If the illusion is destroyed or disbelieved, the painting it drew from is ruined.
C
Wormcle: If you command your worms to create a circle, whatever is within the circle is held in suspended animation. Food won't rot, fire will provide heat and light but not consume fuel, the dying won't fully die, etc. They're not frozen, and can leave the circle if able. The effect ends the instant the circle is broken or covered. You are an uncle to all worms, and they react accordingly. Sorry I'm kind of fixating on the worm thing.
Umbral Oubliette: If someone is rude to you, you can command Mr. Bones (or whatever else you've decided to call your skeletal butler) to drag them into your shadow. He must grapple them normally to do this. Within your shadow they are trapped in a lightless, soundless chamber only just big enough to fit them. You may only have one person in your shadow at a time, though you may hold them or release them at will. In truth all butlers can do this.
D
Pillar of Worms: Once a week you can raise a pillar composed of worms from the ground. The pillar can be up to 100' tall and 10' wide. As it is made out of worms it's not that good at pushing stuff - if it meets a stone ceiling or suchlike it will simply stop with a splatter of worm-juice rather than bust through.
Any and all corpses within sight of the pillar will rise up and defend it. You and any who you designate will be ignored by the corpses, but they will attempt to kill any others within 100' of the pillar. The corpses de-animate if they leave that radius. Those killed by the corpses don't re-animate.
If you create a pillar of worms that raises 100 corpses, you can choose to have the corpses and pillar merge into a gruesome miracle that allows you to return to Earth. This will happen in real life so keep an eye on the news.
Curiousities (D12):
1. Bottle Full of Vodka: Cleverly constructed with internal chambers of invisible glass, between which fluid can be transferred or from which fluid can be poured depending on how you hold it - e.g. allowed you to make it appear as though you've chugged from the bottle without drinking a drop, or slipping someone a transparent poison while pouring everyone else at the table an ordinary shot.
2. Lucky Coin: Worth 1 silver. Lands on whichever side you want it to. Only works for you.
3. A Banana: Extremely slippery peel.
4. Bird Feed: A handful. Birds that eat it gain the ability to talk. They are still dumb birds otherwise however. The ability never goes away.
5. A Package: When opened in a temple, shrine, or suchlike, it is found to contain an appropriate offering for the god of the temple, etc. Can be used three times. A label on the package reads: "Made In Heaven".
6. Dead Bug: Glossy. Live bugs must save vs. morale to approach it when brandished.
7. Deed to an Inn: A humble establishment off the beaten path somewhere in this new world.
8. A Tin Spring: Springy.
9. Hidden Pocket: Stitch it into whatever you like. Nobody else will be able to find it.
10. Book of Riddles: Invaluable to sphinxes.
11. Harmonica: Now's as good a time as any to learn how to play.
12. Jar of Leeches: Hungry.
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