D20x5 Clownish Clerics

Click the button below to generate a cleric from the tables automatically:

Here's a generator for making religions in more detail: https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2020/04/d20x5-radical-religions.html

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator automator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	This cleric's religion
1	forbids eating meat but not the "exudate" of animals (milk, blood, honey, vitreous fluid, etc.).
2	is a mystery cult with an unknown number of levels of initiation. Even they're not sure how deep in they are.
3	has a strong messianic tradition, and has made no friends among secular authorities for trying to overthrow them and create a utopian new order.
4	considers it offensive to bare one's nose at others.
5	teaches that the holistic wholeness of individuals is an illusion, and so they will address their limbs, feelings, and other parts as though they were full and separate persons.
6	performs sermons in an archaic language that nobody really understands anymore.
7	requires adherents to display their faith with a unique hairstyle.
8	holds a superstitious dread towards fish.
9	teaches how to sleep standing up, as sleeping lying down is held to expose one to the nefarious dreams of underground menaces.
10	holds that most of recorded history is a fabrication, and that the world was created relatively recently.
11	has a theoretically-infinite number of gods, each of whom is discovered (nay-sayers claim: invented) by complex theological procedures.
12	secretly worships evil abominations from distant stars.
13	runs a brisk business in issuing indulgences.
14	teaches that blankness of expression and tone indicates mastery over base passions.
15	rejects iron and steel as the materials of killers.
16	is aggressively millennarian, believing the end of the world will be any day now.
17	relays its teachings through jokes and pranks.
18	requires dedicated followers to give up their names as a sign of humility and submission.
19	doesn't have an afterlife, and instead holds that one's vital force is distributed throughout the universe after death - funeral rites are designed to funnel this energy to one's family rather than letting some ant on the other side of the world benefit from it.
20	teaches that only by following it can one be free of the total predestination of fate.

D20	This cleric’s holy symbol
1	is a reversable mask, one side showing a smiling man's face, the other a snarling dog.
2	is a candelabra with a kneeling human leg for a stick.
3	is a ring with three stars within, forming a triangle.
4	is a beehive in cross-section.
5	is a broken sword gripped by a skeletal hand.
6	is a pair of salamanders swallowing each other's tails.
7	is a patch of red and blue cloth.
8	is an exploding rocket.
9	is a shape made of four interlinked diamonds.
10	is a crescent moon cradling a coin.
11	is an open mouth with flame gouting from it.
12	is a veiled mountain.
13	is a spiderweb with an eye wherever threads intersect.
14	is a bowl holding a crashing wave.
15	a sheaf of wheat spilling out of a chalice.
16	is a gull pierced through the breast by an arrow.
17	is a tower that's cracked through the middle, on the verge of toppling.
18	is a sun disc with beckoning fingers for its rays.
19	is a winged wheel.
20	is a hoof trampling a rose.

D20	This cleric is out adventuring
1	because they were too restless to fit in with the monastic routine.
2	because their order kicked them out for breaking their vows.
3	to seek lost relics of their faith.
4	due to things revealed to them in a prophetic dream they had.
5	because they were declared a heretic for their unorthodox interpretations and sent into exile.
6	to get money to pay for the major repairs their temple requires.
7	to find and slay the monster that slaughtered their congregation.
8	to find and hopefully be reconciled with a bastard child they abandoned when they became a cleric.
9	to escape the watchful eye of a corrupt and incompetent superior.
10	to do good works out in the world (however their faith defines that).
11	to find the holy tools that will allow them to renew the seal on a demon that plagued their faith in ancient days.
12	to find a deity, who has been incarnated as a child somewhere, and raise them virtuously.
13	to find a lost fellow of their order and bring them back into the fold.
14	because they're undergoing a crisis of faith, and wish to either have their belief renewed or destroyed, as their ambiguous doubt is eating away at them.
15	to act as a spy, as their superiors wish to become more politically involved.
16	to act as a missionary and spread their faith.
17	to be martyred for their faith and thus get on track to becoming a saint.
18	to verify the providence of a section of scripture that has been declared apocryphal.
19	to prove themself worthy of joining an order of paladins.
20	to rediscover the lost promised land of their faith.

D20	This cleric has
1	an enchanted collar that lets them speak (but not hear in return) to those who share their faith over a long distance.
2	access to a well-stocked and defensible safehouse which was used by their faith in times of persecution.
3	extensive scarring and an incredible tolerance for pain from their days as a flagellant.
4	tattoos made of ground-up incense that lends their sweat the power to ward off evil spirits.
5	regrets and underworld connections from their prior life of vice.
6	an estranged older sibling who is the heir to a noble estate.
7	a small fortune in sacred paraphernalia with them.
8	an eye afflicted with a golden cataract that lets them see invisible influences.
9	a stack of sigil-marked papers that temporarily freeze those they're stuck on in place.
10	a shroud with the face of their faith's founder imprinted on it.
11	a bounty on their head for blasphemy against the state religion.
12	a little book of aphorisms they like to quote.
13	taken a vow against bathing and grooming, and so smells bad and has matted hair and gnarly nails.
14	a two-headed fetus preserved in a bottle of brine that moans out portents.
15	a very tall and fancy hat that denotes their rank.
16	converted from a dozen religions before settling on their current one.
17	a set of zoetropes that depict important moments both historical and mythical for their religion.
18	a walking stick with a hidden compartment in it for the storage of venomous creatures that can be flicked at one's enemies.
19	a box of ornate needles used to map and manipulate the occult pathways of the body.
20	a stamp that bears the mark of their religion's high priest.

D20	This cleric is accompanied by
1	a slave-penitent working off the wages of their sin.
2	a gaggle of gamblers, drunkards, and lepers wanting the cleric to bless them.
3	a ditzy minor angel.
4	a peg-legged pilgrim who hopes - with some uncertainty - that the cleric will protect them should they run into trouble on their journey.
5	a saint whose leather face has been stitched onto their shoulder. The saint offers them ornery and unsolicited advice.
6	a babbling imbecile who they claim is in fact speaking in sacred tongues.
7	a nitpicking accountant following along to ensure they don't exceed their budget or indulge in luxuries.
8	a resolute atheist who won't stop trying to debate them.
9	a pack of feral cats they've befriended by tossing scraps.
10	no one, though they're carrying the bones of their former companions until they can be given a proper funeral.
11	a conman and peddler of curios who wants to learn more about the cleric's faith so they can use that knowledge for a scam.
12	a hedge-knight under the impression that the cleric's going to lead a crusade, and wants to get in at the top level of that.
13	a contortionist-anchorite who possesses inspired wisdom, yet is confined to a wooden box the cleric carries about on their back.
14	an albino colt who they intend to sacrifice at a fortuitous occassion.
15	an overworked peasant who wants them to declare a holiday so they can take some time off.
16	a trained tortoise with a shrine carved into its shell.
17	an orphaned urchin who insists that they were a virgin birth.
18	an animate idol of creaking copper.
19	a criminal declared homo sacer seeking sanctuary with them.
20	a gentle giant whose skull has been trepanned and filled with benevolent spirits.