Friday, March 24, 2023

D20x5 Sinister Space Churches

Is this really an archetype? There's like Unitology from Dead Space... and then what?
Why didn't I just make this sinister churches in general, like they always have in animes?
The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma, even to me.

Of the same tableated sci-fi universe as:

D20x5 Space Marines

D6x6 Xeno-Swarms

D6x6 Rebellious Robots

Click the button below to get your sinister space church - one in three million, two hundred thousand: 


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20 This sinister space church preaches
1 positive nihilism - nothing matters, so have some fun.
2 that a proper hierarchy, beings obeying their natural betters, will lead to a harmonious universe.
3 tithing all your belongings to it so they can be invested towards its (outwardly virtuous) goals.
4 total nullification of the self in service to the greater good.
5 that all things that happen are the will of the divine, so all events and status quos should be passively embraced.
6 that all living things are ultimately prey - to predators or decomposers - and so part of the same herd.
7 the necessity of piercing through the anthropic illusions of compassion and so on to arrive at celestial reality.
8 that it can sell indulgences for any sin.
9 the incompleteness of humanity, and its tenets as the ladder to further development.
10 that by following its teachings one can purge the body and brain of toxins.
11 that those who follow its teachings will be rewarded with material prosperity and mates.
12 post-mortem mind-uploading to a virtual afterlife of their design.
13 antinomianism for its followers - freedom from laws and morality.
14 the need for humanity to accept peaceful annihilation in order to end suffering among the stars.
15 that they hold the negentropic key to survive the end of the universe, while non-believers will suffer final destruction.
16 that humans were uplifted by aliens long ago, and that those with certain genetic markers were made to be leaders of humanity.
17 obedience to occulted masters who've become enlightened and unified with the fabric of the universe.
18 that it alone holds absolute knowledge of the future through astrological prophecies.
19 intentionally-contradictory doctrines to give itself the appearance of gnostic depth and lure in the gullible.
20 subjection of actions to their utilitarian calculations.
D20 This sinister space church is headed by the
1 Evolutionary Pinnacle - a harsh and brisk sort kept alive into hoary age with piled-on life support tech.
2 First Among the Fellowship of the Faithful - F.F.F. for short - someone lazy and willfully-ignorant who can't imagine ever losing their position of privilege.
3 Primordial Principal - a fanatical, misanthropic true believer.
4 Archdruid of Interstellar Nature - a hard-nosed pragmatist really only interested in their own enrichment.
5 Utmost Patriarch - a sadist who values their position only insofar as it lets them hurt other people.
6 Elder Hierophant - a senile horndog used as a mouthpiece by the real power of the church: the inner council.
7 Most Reverend Ecumenopolitan - a gutless politician at heart.
8 Polestar Pontifex - a wild-eyed academic-at-heart who relishes the opportunity to be so close to the otherworldly.
9 Cornicopian Manciple - a generous tyrant who gives and takes according only to their whims.
10 Collective Universal Ally - a snake-in-the-grass, gregarious and treacherous.
11 Galactic Incarnate - an entitled and tantrum-prone man-child raised for the role.
12 Rebus Regia Astronema - a transhumanist addicted to self-modification.
13 Enlightened Exarch - a murderous paranoiac who stabbed backs to make their way to the top.
14 Nebulous Oracle - a worlds-historic bullshitter.
15 August and Sagacious Heavenly One - a cold and well-read sort who justifies their church with inhuman logic.
16 Coronal President - ineffectual, and elected to that position by vying factions precisely for that reason.
17 Syzygycephalus - who's become disillusioned with the church but will be torn apart by their followers if they ever give hints of this.
18 Optimal Primate - who cynically uses the church to pursue a personal vendetta.
19 Empyrean Emperor - a power-drunk madman with a feverish charisma.
20 Champion of Cosmic Truth - a coward who surrounds themself with sycophants and yes-men.
D20 This sinister space church's buildings
1 are glass-and-steel tumours they renovate off other structures.
2 are towering brutalist behemoths.
3 are spindly skyscrapers kept aloft more by anti-gravity than structural integrity.
4 are connected to each other even other large distances by secret underground tunnels.
5 are bunker-like and militarized.
6 are built with ruin value in mind - and their oldest constructions are their most sacred sites.
7 are built with deliberate hostile architecture principles.
8 are not advertised as such, and have no outwardly distinguishing features - most require word-of-mouth to find.
9 are pyramidal - they believe the pharaohs shared their beliefs.
10 are suffused with infrasonic music meant to brainwash their visitors.
11 are a blatant imitation of Christian cathedrals, complete with stained glass portrayals of its own mythology and figures.
12 double as astronomical observatories.
13 are never built planet side - in close orbit at the lowest.
14 are the architectural equivalent of the Corporate Memphis style - flat, geometric, inoffensive to the point of being offensive.
15 are psychedelically disorienting.
16 are made as ostentatious as possible to advertize its wealth and popularity.
17 are ridden with hidden passages, chambers, and surveillance systems.
18 are all replicas of the site where the church was founded.
19 are designed according to fractal sacred geometrical ideals.
20 are, in accordance with doctrine, lit only by genetically-engineered bioluminescent creatures.
D20 This sinister space church truly worships
1 an alien parasite that initially augments then gradually takes over the body.
2 an unthinkably vast hive of spaceborne beasts lurking in the void between galaxies.
3 an incomprehensible worm that burrows through the stuff of linear time.
4 a higher-dimensional, hyper-intelligent predator that became trapped in our 4-dimensional universe and was driven insane in the process.
5 decadent psycho-electrical entities obsessed with possessing organic creatures and working them to death in pleasurable pursuits.
6 an anti-matter universe that desires the annihilation of its counterpart.
7 a biotechnological, globe-spanning ocean of protoplasm, which devours and endlessly replicates all life.
8 ultraterrestrials that want to turn this universe into a garmonbozia farm.
9 a living magnetic storm in the heart of a supermassive gas giant, which wishes to spread like a lesion to every world.
10 an ancient artifical intelligence hellbent on assimilating all minds into itself.
11 a rapacious and enormously technologically-advanced empire trapped by its peers in a past eon within the event horizon of a black hole.
12 a psychic messiah who will be born thanks to their efforts in the future, and telepathically projects guiding dreams to them back through time.
13 an anomalous black moon which appears in different systems seemingly at random, and is riddled with tunnels and caverns that go on far longer than they should given the moon's apparent size, crawling with monstrosities and impossibilities.
14 the titanic husks of things older than the universe, which inflict bizarre fractal mutations in those who come into contact with them.
15 an undead alien dictator whose immortality and uncanny power come from the advanced nanites they're infused with.
16 a zombifying astral fungus - as the means for their immortalization.
17 a sentient memetic viral system that can infect biological brains and computers equally easily.
18 shadowy entities which possess god-like physics-warping powers within a rift of unreality, that wish to tear this rift wider until the whole universe is their playground.
19 colossal plasma-vampires that drift through space and drain life-giving stars.
20 the hell-dimension they believe underlies faster-than-light travel - like in Event Horizon.
D20 This sinister space church is opposed by
1 fedora-tipping atheists who embarrass the opposition movement.
2 a network of apostates who learned the truth of its faith.
3 a team of inquisitors sent by the Roman Catholic Church.
4 the benevolent ghosts of lifeforms that evolved and existed only in the brief moment of cosmic expansion after the Big Bang.
5 an exile-nation the church once waged a holy war on.
6 a totalitarian regime that tolerates no alternate ideologies.
7 a heretical sect that splintered off it, which is growing in support among orbital workers.
8 a tax bureau investigating their sketchy financial activities.
9 an order of cyber-valkyries who induct fallen warriors into their number with nanites.
10 partisans opposed to its influence on their planets' politics.
11 some kooky conspiracy theorists.
12 a criminal organization who don't appreciate the church cracking down on the drug they deal.
13 some terroristic space-anarchists who violently oppose all centralized authorities.
14 fundamentalists within it who believe they shouldn't have to hide the truth of their beliefs from the universe.
15 an association of families who've lost members to the church's indoctrination.
16 an archaeological department that uncovered evidence of a past disaster caused by the true object of the church's worship.
17 bounty hunters collecting on hits put on members of the church by an unknown enemy of it.
18 an up-and-coming political party which positions itself against secret societies and mystery cults.
19 a rebel union of indentured servants the church imported to its planetary seat of power.
20 enigmatic aliens whose civilization was destroyed by the true object of its worship.

4 comments:

  1. There's a few more of these, no? The Dune-sequels devotion to Muad'dib (out of focus, but present!), the Church of the Cruciform in Dan Simmons's Endymion, the Hindu pastiche in Zelazny's Lord of Light...

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