D6x6 Putrid Pandemics

Not zombies or memetic or whatever... just normal.

Click the button below to get your pandemic:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This pandemic's origin
1	was a zoonotic transfer.
2	was a military bioweapons project.
3	was a sample retrieved from Mars.
4	was a synthetic meat start-up.
5	was a biotech corporation's pet A.I. that'd been let off the leash.
6	was an intellectual dark web cult.

D6	This pandemic is
1	viral in nature.
2	bacterial in nature.
3	fungal in nature.
4	amoebaic in nature.
5	parasitic in nature.
6	prionic in nature.

D6	This pandemic's symptoms include
1	muscle weakness, skin hardening, and ligament lengthening.
2	blood clots, heart attacks, and ribcage inversions.
3	skin separation, gaseous inflation, and autoimmune jellyfication.
4	bone-spike growth and marrow explosions.
5	vomiting, diarrhea, and necrosis of the digestive system from the inside-out.
6	false memories, hallucinations, loss of impulse control, and neural degradation.

D6	This pandemic was exacerbated
1	by a faulty vaccine that made some pharmaceutical company executives and their government toadies a lot of money.
2	by a senile American president bungling international coordination and goodwill.
3	by climate refugees being packed into deprived conditions.
4	by Mossad operatives unleashing it in false flag attacks.
5	by proliferation of more contagious yet no less dangerous mutant strains.
6	by a global economic crash that made it difficult to marshal the resources to contain and cure the pandemic.

D6	This pandemic has
1	a lame name, like protein-synchronous major replication error tendency septicity.
2	a cool name, like the Black Plague.
3	a name based off the scientist who discovered it, like Werhler's Syndrome or something.
4	an acronym name, like V.O.I.D. or whatever.
5	like a dozen different names because people couldn't agree on one.
6	a dumb slang name that caught on, like Captain Trips.

D6	Attempted solutions to this pandemic include
1	firebombing infected population centers.
2	mandatory gene modifications enforced by state violence and threat of bank account cancellation, many of which ended in deaths even more horrible than the pandemic could induce.
3	deployments of navies to blow up disease-fleeing migrant fleets.
4	using autonomous and self-replicating war-machines to create firebreaks between infected and uninfected zones.
5	institution of surveillance regimes that make the Patriot Act look like a furby's voice recorder.
6	dogs trained to sniff it out loosed en masse into the streets, to maul to death those who they smell it on.