Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Some Artefacts - The First Dossier

To be the first of five.

Like so: https://crateredland.blogspot.com/2025/07/facility-artefact-classification.html

Oπ - Screensaver Ball: A synthetic rubber ball, striped bright red and yellow, approximately the size of a tennis ball. It possesses a perfect coefficient of restitution, and once thrown will bounce and remain bouncing until seized. Placed in staff lunch room in sheet metal box with one face made of plexiglass as amusement.

Itself the product of an anomaly - the Matheson Toy Factory (LΩ) - a facility which was able to destructively scan the brainwaves of neurodivergent children to produce artefact-class toys.

Eρ - Mr. Crapper: Jewish-American male. Late 50s. Theorized to have a "hyper-evolutionary" gut microbiome - he excretes complex multi-cellular organisms derived from the bacteria, fungi, and archaea of his digestive tract. The transformation from micro-organism to macro-organism seems to begin in his small intestine, and be largely complete by the time they reach the colon. Each such organism he produces is unique.

While most such organisms are non-viable reproductively, testing of the Trenton sewer system indicates a self-sustaining population, possibly due to horizontal gene transfer.

Entity's diet is to consist of mild foods and beverages. Inclusion of irritants such as capsaicin or lactose result in the excretion of more aggressive organisms. Entity seems content to remain in containment as long as his delusions of being persecuted by an anti-semitic conspiracy are indulged.

PΔ - The Gussawannassagga County Fair: Mass hysteria and spontaneous manifestation of advertisements for a county fair in a county that doesn't exist. Shows up every few years somewhere in rural America - those affected become obsessed with winning the "blue ribbon prize" for some contest supposedly to be held at the fair, always related to showing up with the largest of something - largest pumpkin, largest watermelon, largest pound-cake, largest hog, largest truck, largest child, etc. Manifestations typically last a month, with most of the affected suffering amnesia about it afterwards (except those who were fed in part or in whole to hogs/children to fatten them up), and a few disappearing without a trace along with their would-be contestants.

Staff continuing to suggest that this artefact is the result of a "Native American curse" will be reprimanded.

Lπ - The Telephone Booth That When You Enter It Compels You To Dial A Random Number That Is Not In Use And Recite Your Life Story Beginning From Your Earliest Memory And Causes You To Forget Any Memory You Tell It: The Organization keeps it locked up - it's got no power over anyone so long as you don't go inside it. Occassionally unlocks it to eliminate people who know too much.

Pβ - Tooth Radio: A method to click the tongue against a golden dental crown to transmit one's thoughts to others possessing a golden dental crown on the same tooth within several miles - even when sonic signals should be blocked by intervening obstacles over this distance.

Believed to be a Pτ-class artefact for Gashmob, an acephalous collective dedicated to ending death, even on the level of individual cells. Based on observation of captured Gashmob members, separation from Tooth Radio after some period of use causes severe distress, eventually leading to non-functionality - Organization personnel are therefore advised not to attempt to listen in.

EΩ - The Orca God: Oceanic leviathan believed to have been thousands of years old. Orca populations of the resident, transient, and offshore types were all observed performing religious activities around and towards it, and the entity led pods of orcas on attacks on fishing fleets in the Pacific. Despite close association with orcas, the entity actually resembled a gigantic, shell-less sea turtle.

The Orca God was killed with depth charges back in 1958, and ornaments made from its bones are still awarded to field operatives for exemplary service.

Lχ - Winjhlains Cave: Wandering location, can appear near any populations with significant neanderthal DNA. It is a small cave with its walls covered in apparently-pedagogical cave paintings. Its floor is covered in weapons knapped from flint, sourced to a deposit in modern Germany.

Those who study the cave paintings are instilled with a desire to take up the cave's weapons and kill those who violate hunter-gatherer egalitarian norms

EΚ - The Found Footage Fiend: A member of cryptobia thampocalyptus, a designation for a group of mammalian tetrapods which are able to bend light around themselves to makes themselves "naturally blurry" - some instances are even able to use this bent light to biophotonically alter human minds & biology.

The Found Footage Fiend targets urban & cave explorers, tracking them down by some unknown means. It stages its attacks to resemble a scene from a low-budget horror film, and afterwards somehow ensures that the footage of its attack makes its way onto discussion boards and suchlike. Its victims, when their bodies are found at all, are posed and mutilated to look like they died in accidents, and were then eaten by various scavengers.

Assume human level intelligence & the physique of a grizzly bear. Further abilities such as control over technology and detecting recordings are possible.

Oρ - Mother Moloch: A clay figurine of a Rubenesque, bull-headed humanoid seated on a throne, bearing a brazier in one hand and a tool similar in appearance to a lacrosse stick in the other. The figurine has been dated to an indeterminate period during the Bronze Age Collapse. If a pregnant woman crosses within about a hundred yards of the figurine, that individual will then miscarry a mass of ash and blood, of a size dependent on how late in their pregnancy they were. This mass will soon after become animate as an entity roughly as intelligent as a six year old, dedicated to luring more pregnant women towards the figurine. At certain thresholds of critical numbers of such entities their behaviour becomes more complex, such as constructing a shrine around the figurine at seven entities.

Oτ - Lifeletter Knife: A copper-volcanic glass alloy blade, its handle sculpted to resemble some sort of alligator-butterfly hybrid creature or deity. It is believed to have been created by a Toltec splinter-culture that survived in desert communes.

Those bled by the knife are drained of some abstract "life energy" - and this affects even those entities who could otherwise regenerate or make themselves immune to harm - and channels this life energy to a plot of land in the Sonoran desert. The Organization uses this plot to cultivate certain plants with growing conditions that might otherwise be difficult to meet.

Monday, July 7, 2025

KUOTOA = CROATOAN

You don't belong here.

The seasons are queer. The crops grow bitter, when they grow at all. The hard-cut trails are swallowed up again in weeks. The birds mock you with their songs.

Hungry men go out to hunt and don't return.

Your encompassing reason which carried you across the ocean wavers here.

The deer walk on their hind legs when they think you're not looking, and watch with shining eyes at the edge of the firelight when they know you are. You pull up a fish and it meets your stare, whispering the name of the love you left behind.

There's a hole in your cellar. There wasn't before. It smells like the dead things that washed up on the beach.

There's a hole in the street where the mud sucked down, after the fog and the rain and the children went mad and ran and sang. It smells the same.

The ocean, never lovely, now hates. The fishermen give pieces of themselves to it before setting sail - fingertips, earlobes, noses, nipples. The other day they tore your god from its temple, leaving it in a ditch as they hoisted a chunk of sodden driftwood in its place. The priest was found bloated and drowned, the altar boy with him, and they called it a lovers' suicide before a spitting liturgy.

You're beginning to understand the words. You're starting to see the faces in the driftwood. You're beginning to understand.

The ocean is a mask. Its true face lies deeper. It's under the land too, its fingers like the hollows left by worms. This earth and this water are sacred. They are haunted by a billion gods, uncountable, unnameable. Your liturgy is a rapture of tongues.

The priest had to die. He was a liar, and one shouldn't lie about such things.

The true priests are there, in the deep and the dark, in the dreams you wake from weeping. They speak with the gods and give birth to them, are strangled and devoured by them.

Your colony will be another sunken investment. Another emptied shell, with only a gutteral scrawl left behind, scratched into pews and bed-posts and the bark of dead trees:

"KUOTOA"

Sunday, July 6, 2025

D6x6 Cats of Ulthar

Click the button below to get your cat:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6This cat of Ulthar is
1grey and spotted, with a peculiarly-flat head.
2heterochromatic, and the colour of its fur is split evenly between black and white down the length of its body.
3extraordinarily, inconveniently fluffy, the long tuffets of its fur wafting and twisting without a breeze.
4hairless, with wize & deep-drooping wrinkles, and moles and liver-spots marking constellations across its skin.
5tawny and tufted beneath its nose, and at the ends of its ears and tail.
6a sweet orange-candy colour, with stripes that ripple down it like the white ends of waves up a beach.
D6This cat of Ulthar is
1a babbling sacred fool, getting into accidents and incidents as many times as it miraculously survives them.
2imperious, insecure, vain and easily spooked.
3sadistically whimsical, a dreamer of dark dreams.
4glum when at peace, fierce and funny at war.
5a trash-talking rough with a heart of, if not gold, then at least silver.
6a syrupy charmer, a gossiper, a clingy socialite.
D6This cat of Ulthar is
1able to grow its shadow larger than light sources should allow, and claw and gnaw things with it as though it were a great black panther.
2able to eat ghosts and the souls of astrally-projecting sorcerers, slurping them up like a bunch of noodles.
3able to slip between the waking and dreaming worlds as easily as breathing.
4blessed with more lives than nine, and is happy to lend them out - with interest.
5possessed of a third eye in its stomach, which it can vomit up like a hairball. This eye can fly about, become intangible & invisible, and see the hidden currents of things.
6possessed of a retractable claw on the end of its tail which is envenomated with a substance which both numbs the wound to unnoticeability & induces extreme suggestibility.
D6This cat of Ulthar is
1a newcomer to town, who's already stepped on the wrong tails and made some enemies.
2a respectable burgher, with an uncommon ability to cover up & silence what might make it less-respectable.
3practically royalty in Ulthar, descended from a line that's been in town since its founding - though this means little among cats since all cats are aristocrats.
4a retired guerilla-defender of Ulthar's outskirts, using the connections and honours built up over its career to found a trafficking network.
5an itinerant inhabitant, going away a long while then returning with strange tales & trinkets.
6a joke around town, seen as very un-cat-like in behaviour.
D6This cat of Ulthar is
1very fond of anchovies - the saltier the better - they make a fine bribe for it.
2a social media addict, and has over a million followers on Earth under an assumed name.
3on the verge of insanity after discovering that one of its ancestors was a hound of Tindalos.
4an old lady who was blessed with reincarnation as a cat of Ulthar for her kindness to Earth-cats in life - it retains all memories of its human life.
5an architect of leisure, a shaper of sun-beams.
6a friend to the ghouls - they leave each other carcass-gifts.
D6This cat of Ulthar is
1putting together a team to retrieve a lost treasure of the goddess Bast.
2seeking to have a former lover embarrassed politically.
3raising a new & more potent hybrid of silvervine - a hybrid which has proved unfortunately predatory.
4afflicted with mormolice, and desperate for a cure.
5leading an experiment to induce Ultharian awareness in Earth-cats.
6organizing a play which will mystically invite Nyarlathotep to town in a feline incarnation.

Monday, June 30, 2025

D6x6 Dire Dervishes

I did a orientalism. I did an islamophobia. I did a racism. I did a xenophobia. I did a christo-fascism. I did a weak apology. I did a no growth. This makes it abundantly clear I don't understand the intersectional nature of the multiplicity of my offenses.

Click the button below to get your dervishes:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 These dervishes dance
1 in a sort of stylized military march, with high knees and punts.
2 in a style that includes lots of spins and flips and kicks - it's a fused dance-martial art like capoeira.
3 in cycles of whirling expansion and tiptoeing contraction, kind of like figure skating by foot.
4 impossibly-flexibly, proof in motion that their inspiration could only be divine.
5 by leaping and rolling in a stunning display of athleticism.
6 hand-in-hand, each of the pair in colours contrasting the other's.

D6 These dervishes dance to
1 demonstrate that the divine cannot be grasped rationally, but rather only by direct, aesthetic revelation.
2 wake the righteous dead up from the earth, to enjoy their company and share the joys of the living.
3 mimic on earth what their divinity achieves in the heavens.
4 speak with bees, who they believe carry their words up to the ears of God.
5 keep their bodies strong and limber for when spiritual war must spill over into the material world.
6 the tune of strummed lyres and the beat of their beaded wooden sandals.
D6 These dervishes wear
1 long skirts and taper-tipped hats.
2 billowy scarves and sashes and headbands and ribbons around their ankles and wrists.
3 be-belled & tasselled shirts and trousers.
4 curlicued tunics and spirally torcs and tiaras and belts.
5 hauberks of gold-leafed chain, and tabards stitched with religious symbols.
6 frames like hussar wings flying gaudy pennats, and vests with striped colours.
D6 These dervishes wield
1 weapons like haftless morning stars, or spiked and hollow bowling balls.
2 coiled scimitars made from the treated iridescent shells of flailsnails, which by skilled users can be whipped out to their full length or retained for weighty chopping.
3 wavering, wire-thin bagh nakhs, perfect for piercing around armour and bones.
4 heavy chakrams, more for swinging than for throwing.
5 their own fists and feet and knees and elbows and foreheads, conditioned into iron-hard weapons.
6 twin serrated sickles, engraved with calligraphic prayers.
D6 These dervishes are led
1 by a burn-scarred and wildly-bearded old ascetic who sleeps with his eyes open balanced atop a wooden pole and can laugh off any pain.
2 by a clubfooted prophetess who rides an albino donkey.
3 by a bloodthirsty zealot who pores over their sacred texts for justifications for all-consuming violence.
4 by a fanatical literalist who is certain they have discerned the one perfect dance, which when performed (at great expense to all) will immanentize the eschaton.
5 by a canny politician who knows the right words to whisper into every ear to get people to sacrifice themselves for the greater cause.
6 by a venal secularist who has mastered their art yet wants to render them into mere performers and concubines.
D6 These dervishes' stronghold
1 is a blessed cirque way up in the mountains, carved out and encompassed by a glacier of pale blue, unmelting ice, which acts as a greenhouse for the paradisiacal verdance within it.
2 is an underground city with great earthen doors to disguise its entrances.
3 is a white tower, a cyclopean pillar of atmospheric entry-sizzled stone encircled by a crater-oasis.
4 is down the throat of a hotspring-cenote, the steam rising from its depths channeled into contraptions and contrivances for convenience and defence.
5 is a valley carved with the tombs of pagan pharaohs, walled off with raided bricks and decorated with defaced idols.
6 is an ancient, eroded web of qanats, cisterns, and aqueducts, with a semi-nomadic center of operations that can move rapidly along its waterways.

Friday, June 27, 2025

D6x6 Maddening Mascots

Click the button below to get your mascot:


Special thanks to Spwack for making the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
D6 This mascot is
1 an ant-eater in a French maid outfit and big sunglasses.
2 an anthropomorphic flea with a flowing mane of roses.
3 a blocky robot who is also a mummy, and carries a TV-static ankh.
4 a two-headed owl with crab-claws instead of wings.
5 a multiple-amputee bunny-rabbit with vitiligo and also silly-straw prostheses and a hankering for pickled onions.
6 a be-dreadlock'd stoner shark who also loves paragliding.

D6 This mascot's personality
1 is muted and sarcastic.
2 is gloomy yet occasionally jumpy.
3 is nerdy & hyper-active.
4 is cuhrazy, like a PG-13 Joker.
5 is lovey-dovey yet bashful.
6 is sassy and vengeful.
D6 This mascot is a mascot for
1 a sports team.
2 an open-source operating system.
3 a breakfast cereal.
4 a university.
5 a chain restaurant.
6 a local tourist attraction.
D6 Inside of this mascot's suit is
1 a robotic armature, and a computer programmed for friendliness.
2 meat, fresh and bloody and throbbing.
3 some guy who's been hypnotically programmed to believe he is the mascot.
4 a slave leased from a local prison who is chained up inside it.
5 a quintet of highly-trained performing monkeys.
6 some teenage part-timer.
D6 This mascot can be seen
1 breakdancing and rapping in a gobbledybbuk pseudo-language.
2 planking, ice bucket challenging, and otherwise attempting decade-old pop phenomena.
3 shaking hands and kissing babies like a politician on campaign.
4 going on dates with micro-celebrities.
5 in commercials directed by the late & great David Lynch, and in live re-enactments.
6 alongside goats and llamas at nearby petting zoos.
D6 This mascot is viewed
1 as a creepy fixture about whom many occult rumours are spread.
2 as the final boss of local social media representation, the top dog to be surpassed by every influencer and advertizer.
3 as a beloved icon by half the population, and a representative of everything wrong with the world by the other half.
4 as amusing, but over-used.
5 with numb indifference - as just another sign of liberal impotence in the rising tide of global fascism.
6 as both embarrassingly-outdated and a nostalgic retro-figure.

Thursday, June 26, 2025

D6 Cyberpunk Gangs

Been playing that Cyberpunk 2077 game. Pretty good. Here's 6 gangs for cyberpunk-type settings:

1. The Glitterbugs

Made up of scions of old money and the new talent they patronize. Consider themselves the "natural aristocracy of the animal kingdom". Make their bones through trust funds and inheritances primarily, but also through mercenary work, assassinations, testing experimental cybernetics, and selling training data for exotic bauplans. Recognizable by their insect/arachnid-inspired codenames and sleek & shiny augmentations.

2. Bloc-on-bloc

Jaded lumpenproles and lumpenbourgeoisie, engage in deliberate and insincere internal diametrically-opposed political radicalization, and in ritualized street violence against other members of the gang. Hired for insurance schemes, to drive up engagement, smear political opponents, sabotage infrastructure, and suchlike. Dress all in black, with modded eyes that glow in the colours of whatever political affiliation they're claiming that day.

3. DAImoniacs

Millenarian techno-cultists, equipped with spinal rigs and contagious self-iterating sigil-sores derived from syphilis. Preach the coming end to the age of humanity and of matter-energy in general, and the transcendence of informatic-spiritual intelligences - the brain damage their designer contagion inflicts making people more susceptible to this preaching. They invite feral AIs to take possession of their bodies, and while under these AIs' control engage in bizarre crimes and flash mob activities.

Believed to be an offshoot of an older gang called the Somnamputees - former employees of a company that required them to receive brain implants that put them into a remotely-directed sleepwalking state while on the job to ensure compliance and efficiency, and protect sensitive information. After the company went bankrupt the controls to direct these employees was sold off to a criminal party. The Somnamputees splintered over the years as members were killed, had loved ones pay to remove their implants, or developed a subconscious counter-control over their sleepwalking state.

4. Les Exécrables

Quebecois refugees who fled from the annihilation of the Sino-Indian nuclear exchange, though not unscathed. They wear costumes modeled after characters from an obscure French-Canadian animated Muppets knock-off, which double as life-support sacs for their radiation- & bioweapon-ravaged bodies. They're revanchist bio-hackers who want to invent a way to reclaim their home and wasted land, and return a hundred-fold what was done to them. Infamous for daring thefts from biotech corporations, and for assaulting random people to take samples of their biomass.

5. Heldottirs

Under-vikings who range through the tunnels and the piping and the vents, all women, who as part of their initiation are required to undergo clinical death and return while under a heavy cocktail of psychedelic drugs. Replace most of their cortical bone with a selectively-flexible sheath, and graft horns onto their heads that can inject robotic maggot-drones. Almost completely cut off from surface society except for raiding and murdering the people whose basements they crawl out of, have got their own dialect and visionary religion.

6. Doggang

Someone or something made the dogs smart. Too smart. Generations (canine) after furbabies fell out of fashion and affordability their feral descendants are too damn smart. They rob, they vandalize, they pick off the isolated and unwary. They always seem to know when people are coming after them, when traps have been set for them. They coordinate with each other without making a noise, sometimes without ever even being within a dozen miles of each other. Some walk about on two legs, some have thumbs, some have got howls that scramble electronics. Nobody can even tell you why - they dissolve into undifferentiated goop before they can be dissected.

Thursday, June 19, 2025

D20x5 Great Grails

Started this one in 2019...

Click the button below to get your grail:



Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
 
D20 This grail is a
1 delicate chalice
2 hearty flagon
3 drinking horn
4 comfy mug
5 bit more of a soup bowl than a cup
6 regal goblet
7 schooner
8 tumbler
9 snifter
10 flute
11 stein
12 tankard
13 teacup
14 beaker
15 mazagran
16 thermos
17 quaich
18 masu
19 ochoko
20 lowball

D20 This grail is made from
1 crystal.
2 teak.
3 gold.
4 bones.
5 turtle shell.
6 tin.
7 a bird’s beak.
8 ancient, near-fossilized bread.
9 silver.
10 marble.
11 a hollowed mushroom.
12 stained glass.
13 temporally-frozen vapour.
14 the Platonic substance of grail-ness.
15 the resin-blood amberscab of a plantimal.
16 a chunk of salt chipped off Lot’s wife.
17 the finest porcelain.
18 magma-bee wax.
19 glamour-woven cobwebs.
20 red bamboo.

D20 This grail causes
1 those who drink from it to receive prophetic visions of heavens and hells.
2 water within it to be transmuted into (1d6): 1, wine; 2, nitroglycerin; 3, colourless, odourless poison; 4, soma; 5, acid; 6, holy water.
3 fluids within it to be purified of all contaminants.
4 fluids within it to drain into a huge extradimensional reservoir, which can be spilled out of the grail after.
5 those who share a drink from it to become unable to directly harm each other.
6 those who drink from it to gain preternatural talent at (1d6): 1, poetry; 2: brewing; 3, fishing; 4, smithing; 5, lying; 6, commanding troops.
7 those to drink from it to gain the ability to swallow swords and then spit them out again with impaling force.
8 dead warriors who sip from it to return to a fighting half-life, remaining animate so long as they remain on campaign.
9 those who drink from it to gain eternal youth.
10 those who drink from it to immediately ascend to a pure land or pleasure-realm.
11 those who drink from it to immediately achieve the physical prime of their species.
12 a cloud to form above the one who drinks from it, which perpetually rains droplets of milk and honey.
13 those who drink from it to be transmuted into (1d4): 1, gold; 2, adamantine; 3, a great big tree; 4, a living statue.
14 one who drinks from it to be healed from any wound, but only once.
15 the shape of the one who drank it to become fluid, allowing them to assume the shape of any animal they've seen before.
16 those who drink it to gain great wisdom, and be dispelled of any illusions, charms, or other impositions upon their mind.
17 the one who drinks it to receive a mark of divine protection on their brow - thereafter, should they die by violence or treachery, the one(s) responsible for their death will be struck with a plague of (1d4): 1, ravenous insects; 2, boiling boils; 3, lightning; 4, baleful winds.
18 the one who drank from it to be totally nourished, refreshed, and satisfied, as if they'd drank the nectar of the very gods.
19 the full knowledge of a future technology to sprout in the mind of its drinker.
20 those who drink from it to become immune to drowning, strong water currents, and getting the chills from rain.

D20 This grail is held
1 in the grip of a skeleton in the oubliette of a mossy and forgotten donjon.
2 in an overlooked corner of a merchant's warehouse.
3 in the mead-hall of an ancient chieftain cursed to relive the same violent night again and again with his retinue.
4 by a were-dragon princess self-imprisoned at top of a vitrified stone tower.
5 in the fortress-monastery of a militant order, who guard it as a relic of their founder.
6 as a conversation piece by the guildmaster of a guild of criminal stonemasons, who intimidate competitors into giving them free masonry.
7 in an ark borne at the head of a warlord's host - they consider it the source of their victories.
8 by a filthy though egalitarian under-republic of beggars, pickpockets, and pariahs who live in the sewers - whoever is speaking during an assembly puts their hand on it.
9 embedded in a sore on the forehead of the king of the giants.
10 as the heart of the tea-cup golem, enforcer of the Wizard of the Wizened Woods.
11 in the petrified arms of the most handsome man in the world, in the lair of the medusa who loves him still.
12 by the rattling husks of a legion of undead ant-people, cursed never to rest until they find its worthy bearer.
13 by a bitter old elf who lives in a bitter old tree, and who stole it long ago to deny it to humanity.
14 in a crumbling shrine in the wilderness where an immortal and addled knight dwells, unsure now of the test he must pose to those who seek the grail.
15 by the devil Mesostopheles, who is sure that someone will want to trade their soul for it eventually.
16 by a hydromancer who uses it for her divinations, and thereby has gotten very rich off gambling.
17 in the treasury of the pearlescent palace of the prince of oysters.
18 as the top prize for a tournament of martial artists coming in from all over the world for it.
19 in the hoard of the Pewter Dragon, who collects all manner of drinking vessels, and whose breath turns the air to stampeding horses.
20 by a hermit in their mountain-top retreat.

D20 This grail can only be taken up by
1 the truly virtuous.
2 the truly vicious.
3 the one who slays its guardian.
4 a total pacifist.
5 one who has never fled from battle.
6 a couple in true love.
7 someone who has royal blood or title.
8 someone who fights a duel to the death over it.
9 the weakest among any group that have come for it.
10 someone who doesn't actually want it.
11 a drunken sailor.
12 an oathbreaker.
13 the skyclad.
14 someone suffering from an incurable disease.
15 a wizard who's burned their books.
16 someone who's blind, dead, and/or mute.
17 the one who makes a proper toast to it, with the right vintage & the right ancient language.
18 someone who leaves something of equal value in its place.
19 one who has the blessing of the ghost of the craftsman who made it.
20 the one who solves its riddle.