GLOG Crossover Multiverse Class: The Semiurgic Sigilist

No doubt inspired by the recent teaser trailer reveal of the Shrek 5 Shrek-multiverse (The Shrekiverse to true Shrekheads), friend of the blog Hawkbeetle proposed a great GLOG crossover multiverse hyperwar - colliding such luminarious settings as Centerra, the Unfinished World, Qal Ashen, the Barony, and so on and so on.

This is therefore a class made for such a crossover multiverse, and is scaled as such - scaled to win. If people do not allow this class in their GLOG crossover multiverse games, or if they criticize it in any way, they are clearly bigoted against people of Irish descent, and cowardly enough to wait until our president Joseph Robinette Biden was diagnosed with terminal ass cancer to voice it.

🛞

Many, many years ago, in happier times, there was a man who became a god, and then the king of all men. In his ascent he stamped the human image into all the heavens and hells and sideways places - before him, demi-humans and beast-men were something else, something of their own, and after him they could only be defined in relation to the human.

The god-king was named Zarus, and his kingdom bridged the cosmos, before it was ever a Great Wheel. This kingdom required a bureaucracy to manage it, with a thousand legions of scribes and libraries that dwarfed cities.

After the death of Zarus (by assassination or suicide or whatever else - it's still a matter of some controversy) this bureaucracy survived his kingdom's disintegration with a significant fragment of its resources and administrative capacity intact. The bureaucracy adapted, transformed - procedure generalized into theory, which evolved into theology, which posited its eschaton. It would form the backbone of the Sigilists, who would go on to break and bend all worlds to their new Order - but history is dry, and burns easily.

🛞

The rule(s) of the cosmos is its Order. Every Order is an ordering - A is followed by B and C and then D, quickening is followed by birth, then life and death and afterlife, space-time-fate - this will be there then. The soul passes from the flesh, passes through the veil of the stars, and enters the outer rim of the Great Wheel, enters the plane there which it is aligned to, by nature or by pact. There the worthy will become true Outsiders, beyond the recycling of mortality, or they will forget and be forgotten, and be broken down into the raw stuff of the plane and of new souls.

If this seems neat and tidy that's because it was all decided and signed off on at some bureaucrat's desk. That bureaucrat was a Sigilist, among those who bent the cosmos into their own Order, and built a city to be the center and the symbol of this Order - Sigil, of course.

But now Sigil is broken, and its Order with it. Its careful divisions bleed - angels fall, devils rise, the dead walk and omens consume the birds and their sky. What once seemed natural now seems less-so.

🛞

You're one of those guys - a Sigilist - who remade the cosmos into the image of your imagination - one of their top guys. Now shit's fucked multiverse-style, and your big beautiful wheel is melting into places that might not even have proper shapes. I've made you the strongest, so go out and fight to the extreme.

GLOG Crossover Multiverse Class: The Semiurgic Sigilist
Equipment: Breaking Wheel +10, Plate Armour of Flight +10, Ring of Immunity to Curses & Diseases & Being Wished Out Of Existence & Any Other Bullshit, also if anyone tries to take your stuff they're instantly disintegrated with no save.
Skills: All of them
A: Ring Around the Rosie, Universal Encyclopedia, Deus Clause, +10 MD
B: Against Esotericism, +10 MD
C: Earth-Shrinking Step, +10 MD
D: Apotheosis, +10 MD

For every template of Semiurgic Sigilist you possess your stats increase to the power of your [Templates], unless this would be bad in which case it's actually to the square root.

A

Ring Around the Rosie: You get [Template] attacks per round against everything in combat with you, regardess of their distance and also you don't suffer from range penalties.

Universal Encyclopedia: Magic is the sovereign's exception, the Chaos allowed into and ultimately buffering Order. You know every spell, never miscast, and if you would suffer a doom you can make someone else suffer it instead while also casting your spell as normal.

Deus Clause: If anyone makes a GLOG class that's stronger than this one it's actually fake, it's non-canonical, increase all abilities of this class by that one's +1, or whatever, they don't get to be stronger.

B

Against Esotericism: While in a setting, you may ask its creator one question about it & its lore per round that they must answer truthfully & in satisfactory detail. If they're unable to or refuse to answer then obviously whatever you asked about is fake, and you may treat it as an illusion. Also if they can't do it they take D10 damage in real life.

C

Earth-Shrinking Step: You can just teleport anywhere effortlessly, doesn't even cost you MD, and open portals between planes and dimensions and whatnot, it's just that easy for you now. Also you can cut anything in half by putting something halfway through a portal then closing it.

D

Apotheosis: Whatever setting you're in, it's your setting now. You're the over-god and supreme demiurge and yadda yadda yadda. Probably a downgrade.

Monster Pieces - Towards the Hoard of a Hundred Horrors

Have a hankering to write a monster manual - some classics, some new takes on some oldies, some fresh creations - I think there's gonna be a hundred monsters in it.

This post is an inspiration thing for that, a generator that throws together bits and bobs I've written down but not fleshed out yet, to see if anything sticks together. It's for me, but if you get anything out of it too dear reader then that's icing on the cake:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://slightadjustments.blogspot.com/p/generator.html

D6x6 Space Dwarf Aliens

How about uh Deep Cock Gaylactic

Click the button below to get your space dwarf aliens:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

Others along the tourmaline strand: 

Space Marines

Xeno-Swarms

Rebellious Robots

Sinister Space Churches

Aliens (Non-Specific)

Alien Parasites

Forms of Faster-than-Light Travel

Staristocrats of the Faufreleuchean Future

Alien Warrior Species

Space Elf Aliens

Evil Space Empires

Sexy Space Women Aliens

Drinks at the Alien Space Bar

D6	These space dwarf aliens look
1	like acephaloid orangutans with lacey lichen instead of fur, and fleshy, pharyngeal crabbish pincers instead of hands and feet.
2	like chitinous moles, with shells in jewel-esque colours, and a cluster of trunk-like, claw-tipped probosci.
3	like an armature of interlocking coralline gears encased in a thick gelatinous sac.
4	like they've got the head of an anomalocaris, or maybe the pointy ends of a claw hammer, atop an octopus that's been given knobby knuckles for its tentacles and learned to stand mostly-upright.
5	somewhere between lanky frogs and fat kangaroos, with broad, hydraulic limbs like an organic construction vehicle and skin like coconut husk - which is particularly floccose around their necks and bellies.
6	like slate, warty anvils - the pointy end a beak which opens for flexible, frond-like tongues and foregut-extrusions, the base a quartet of meaty legs - filaments extend from their backs and sides, flash an incandescent orange at the tips, then retract in waves.

D6	These space dwarf aliens mine
1	the ruins left behind by the eldritch clade which uplifted their species - the automated defenses of these places will not annihilate them on sight, though even many things not intended as defenses in such places can be devastating.
2	hyper-dense iron from the cores of degenerate stars using gargantuan magnetic trawlers.
3	out the whole molten mantles of planets, slurping them up with great tick-like installations, filtering out the good stuff and expelling the voluminous slag onto the collapsed and splintered continental shells.
4	the wreaths of expelled matter which coalesce around white holes.
5	asteroids, pulling them together into orbiting "herds" and laser-branding them with their clan's mark.
6	the culturo-synthetic waste of civilizations that didn't manage to pass their Great Filters.

D6	These space dwarf aliens drink
1	a harsh distillation of their rocket-fuel - unpalatable to just about anyone else, but nigh-hangover-free if you can keep it down.
2	a yeasty foam which bubbles up from the grave-pits of their ancestors - drinking it brings possessing echoes of the past.
3	the semi-liquid smoke of gigantic, immortal plants which dance upon solar winds like leaves on a breeze - untouchable unless they make a misstep in their dance and self-immolate under mis-reflected rays.
4	the euphoric, soporific mucus of a creature like a tank-treaded terrestrial hagfish native to the homeworld.
5	a variety of liquors distilled from the grains of a dozen worlds - which liquor they drink is assumed to indicate deep features of their personalities.
6	the condensed exudate of psychic entities they trap in maze-like chains of circular logic.

D6	These space dwarf aliens forge
1	the baryonic conveyors which can move mass-energy at rapid speeds across the galaxy. Some quirk of their psychology or Weltanschauung makes the things unreplicable by any others.
2	impossible alloys, hybrids of the metals of this universe, and those of distant shores - alternate phantom-potentialities, subspatial vampire-cosms, ascended and mind-independent noospheres, and so on and suchlike.
3	flesh and bone rather than inanimate matter, in the crucible of accelerated, guided evolution.
4	the planet-scouring weapons that strip whole worlds of life - by ancient interstellar pact they are the only ones who can - they never sell these weapons fully, only lease them when presented witn the right casus belli - the clamour in their war-courts is deafening, and can go on for a very long time.
5	arkane space-ships and -stations, self-contained and -sustaining micro-worlds.
6	tremendous, ingenious thinking-machines, as well as the shackles and seals put in place to prevent these machines from rebelling or transcending the perceptible cosmos entirely.

D6	These space dwarf aliens have a reputation
1	for dourness and irritability - their homeworld was destroyed by their own hands, and nowhere else has ever felt quite right.
2	for greed & distractibility by shiny things - an instinctual artifact of nesting and mating displays.
3	for holding grudges & repaying debts - they've all got eidetic memories.
4	for bad music - which is true by most standards, a lot of it is just repetitive chanting.
5	for being tricky dealers - it's a translation issue.
6	for sickliness & monomania - this stems from inbreeding among their elites to conserve property ownership, as well as a post-automation classicide against the dispossessed in their civilization.

D6	These space dwarf aliens once
1	unleashed a demon of anti-light which had been imprisoned since an early era of the universe with their digging, which few have forgiven them for.
2	kidnapped a stellar emperor who reneged on an agreement with them and subjected the emperor to such tortures that even referring to them is a crime in many polities.
3	held a grand dominion, but its back was broken and their holdings are now terribly diminished.
4	were brought to the brink of extinction, but their adoption of cloning & hypnotic incubation-tanks enabled them to repopulate.
5	tried to build a physical god - this went poorly.
6	were a slave-caste under a celestial theocracy, but used their creations like a poison to destroy it from within and win their freedom.

D6x6 Furtive Men

Click the button below to generate your furtive man:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This furtive man wears
1	an immaculate and tailored black suit with a black tie.
2	an outfit that's sort of like a city worker's, but none of the details add up if you look too closely.
3	a raincoat & rain-boots, all garish off-yellow.
4	a mis-tied bow-tie, a threadbare suit-jacket with a patch on one elbow and a hole in the other.
5	bandages wrapped around his hands, speckled with brown.
6	a high-collared coat and a wide-brimmed hat.

D6	This furtive man has
1	a side-squashed face, halfway to a human halibut.
2	blurry flesh, as if filtered through smudged glass, or a shaky camera.
3	a mouth that's a little too wide, with teeth that are a little too small, a little too white.
4	bloodless gums and eyes and lips.
5	an unfashionably-long mustache, and long, limp, receding hair pasted to his scalp and face.
6	a long hatchet-head, and long, long limbs.

D6	This furtive man walks
1	while sucking a long, long cigarette with a curled tail of ash that seems like it should've fallen off under its own weight a while ago.
2	with his knees bending backwards sometimes.
3	while whistling, an ill-fitting and unforgettable tune.
4	while breathing heavily, a heavy steam spilling from his mouth whatever the temperature, falling downwards instead of rising.
5	with his eyes whipping side-to-side, or boring into yours.
6	with an out-of-time gait that subconsciously throws off everyone else walking nearby.

D6	When this furtive man talks, he
1	laughs often, nervously and mirthlessly.
2	leans up into your personal space and whispers.
3	growls his words between clenched teeth.
4	dribbles and spits and bubbles out of the corners of his mouth.
5	rumbles deep like muted thunder.
6	has a high and pleasant voice.

D6	This furtive man seems to
1	be in two places at once - in your home, while also in front of you.
2	carry a sickness with him wherever he goes - weakness, hallucinations, stains on the skin like ink or soot.
3	be forgotten immediately by those he only interacts with briefly.
4	have an odd cachet in the halls of power, showing up in the crowd at fundraisers and rallies and so on and so forth, muttering suggestions in ears that are always followed.
5	have a sixth sense for traps and ambushes, never surprised yet always surprising when he so chooses.
6	infect animals with a rabid loyalty by feeding them a drop of his blood.

D6	The local street-children say this furtive man
1	is the son of the government - the whole government - they all jerked off into a big vat and this thing crawled out of it.
2	is the Devil's dream, in flesh as we dream in spirit.
3	was an orphan who was adopted by a very strange family, and came back years later as strange as them.
4	eats old ladies whole, sucking the wrinkled flesh off their bones, burying the old bones in parks and flower-pots.
5	plucks the teeth out of your mouth while you sleep, and listens to them to hear all the secrets you've ever spoken.
6	is the shadow of a miserable old geezer who's too old now to go out and inflict misery on others in person - so he sends out his shadow to do it instead.

D6x6 Subtle Svirfneblins

Click the button below to get your very own svirfneblins:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These svirfneblins are
1	pale and potbellied, with thin and rubbery-cartilaginous limbs - they move through the tight spaces of the underworld by wrapping themselves up and rolling.
2	utterly veinous, with blood so darkly crimson it's nearly black, and are flattened front-to-back like a planarian.
3	frightfully spindlesome, with many-jointed limbs and digits, and glassly translucent bodies.
4	loosely- and wrinkly-skinned, with long buck teeth and vellum-thin skin stretched over milky eyes.
5	porphyryan malproportioned forms of graven whimsy.
6	vaguely molluscoid, with slimy purplish-green flesh and eyes and ears which protrude on stalks.

D6	These svirfneblins are
1	born from the cosmos attempting to fill in the person-shaped holes in reality left by the feeding of a beast of the deepest underworld which devours its prey utterly.
2	a species descended from the same root as gas spores - though resembling murderably-annoying gnomes rather than beholders - but evolved to be able to reproduce without parasitism.
3	descended from survivalists who ensconced themselves in vaults deep beneath the earth to escape a catastrophe that ravaged the surface.
4	descendants of neanderthals who retreated deeper into their caves rather than accepting assimilation or extinction, and ended up in the underworld, and adapting to it.
5	fairies from the New Moon who fell down to the world in a conjunction of the celestial spheres - the darkness beneath the earth is the closest place they can get to their old home.
6	beings from across the stars, whose living ship crossed vast distances via the warping of space. An accident caught them in this world's gravity well and interposed them within its depths - they are bound to the deep by the dying cries of their ship.

D6	These svirfneblins live
1	at the cores of expansive, stone-boring hyphaeic networks, chemically-interfacing with the fungus to monitor their territorie and guide the protrusion of edible, pharmacological, and stipewood-producing varieties of mushroom.
2	around chemo-volcanic pits, using their arts to merge stone and glass and bacteria into useful and beautiful forms.
3	in the taproots of giant trees, which plunge thirstily into buried seas that the svirfneblin ply in canoes of worm-fought wood.
4	in weir-villages along the banks of subterranean rivers, living off snared flotsam and the meat of alabaster oysters whose shells they wear as jewellery.
5	in cavitous geodes, furnishing omni-directional spires of glittering gem-stone.
6	in cathedrals of carved-out stone, painstakingly-shaped to focus the tectonic reverberations which feed their gardens of symmetrical cymatic lichens.

D6	These svirfneblins tend
1	to observe hospitality to a degree otherwise unheard of in the scarcity of the underworld - though they've got a voracity for stories & knowledge from guests.
2	to deal honestly & fairly with outsiders, only very rarely murdering the weak and taking their stuff.
3	to stymy and war against the worst of the monsters and polities in their region, out of a pared-down sense of chivalry.
4	to hold love & friendship in high esteem.
5	to practice customs which limit coercive hierarchies and encourage democratic decisioning.
6	to worship a goddess of mercy, and so forgive debts and tend to the suffering.

D6	These svirfneblins can
1	sustain themselves by eating coal and drinking petroleum, but this gives them painful stomach-cramps and noxious flatulence.
2	hock super-gluey loogies with enough accuracy to stick an enemy's eye or ear shut.
3	emit the scent of anything they've smelled before from their "perfumer's gland" - a sort of camouflage against the sightless creatures of the underworld.
4	speak with worms and other such things which wriggle beneath by drumming their tongues against earth and stone.
5	shrug off magic and mortal injury by self-petrifying for a long while, eventually reverting to repaired flesh and flaking off their rocky carapace.
6	see even in seeming-darkness by the light of stars refracted in a non-Euclidean fashion through macro-crystals.

D6	A delicacy of these svirfneblins is
1	their own dead - desiccated and ground up and pressed into wafers.
2	morels that grow only in the darkest and quietest parts of the night below the world, the pores of their honeycomb drinking in sound and exploding if not harvested in total silence.
3	a salt that's only found in the marrow of the titans whose corpses form the foundation of the world.
4	a terribly chewy candy spun from the silk of moths that have never witnessed light.
5	a sweet, tarry syrup like molasses "milked" from a sort of barnacle that clings to the sides of aeolian caves and filters the wind for edible particles.
6	the hepatopancreas of the solifulgurae, lethally-toxic if not consumed sparingly, and in the thinnest slices.

D6x6 Future Crime Cities

Click the button below to get your very own future crime city:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This future crime city
1	is flame-scarred, charred and dim in the smoke-filtered light, perpetual blazes towering titanic over its skyline.
2	is collapsing into its own over-loaded & aquifer-drained foundations, leaning skyscrapers making a labyrinthine arcade of its downtown.
3	is crampedly-dense and piled upon itself, ever-bright gaudy & anarchic architecture jutting together.
4	has been overgrown by urban gardens and oppidan farms, a true concrete jungle.
5	is sprawling, cracked and sun-baked, the reek of roasted garbage mixing synaesthetically with the heat-haze.
6	is always dark, always raining, slick and black with mold - the rich live high and shining with artificial rainbows, the poor barely keep their heads above the flood.

D6	Crime became law in this future crime city
1	because psychology was proven to be false, meaning it was normal to be like the Joker.
2	because a corrupt corporate pothead pushed through legislation that made it mandatory to include marijuana oil in fuel, filling the city with a narcotic smog of slovenly belligerence.
3	because libertarians went too far, and made everything legal.
4	because liberals went too far, and made it illegal to arrest anyone.
5	because of the rising of Cthulhu out of the ocean, or something near enough like him, which caused a localized psychic zone wherein the sensitive were driven to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves.
6	because the keys to the city were given to a nefarious character, who then used them to unlock all manner of mayhem upon it.

D6	The mayor of this future crime city
1	is a fiery reformer who is currently being held for ransom by a gang of former mailmen who can throw paper with deadly accuracy.
2	is an inveterate playboy by day, but by night dons a costume and beats up those who oppose his criminal enterprises.
3	is an actual, literal goblin, summoned up from the underworld by the city's chaos.
4	is secretly gathering all the most evil criminals in the city to overthrow the federal government and have himself elected as crime minister.
5	is a musclebound blockhead installed by those who assumed he was as dumb as he looks - though he isn't, and has his own subtle agenda.
6	is a feckless and sweaty appeaser, making regular televised appearances to tell people that everything is fine in the city - though it most assuredly is not.

D6	The good fight in this future crime city is still fought
1	by a cell of militantly pacifist Quakers, whose non-violence ends up helping them as much as it hinders.
2	by a convoy of cyber-truckers fused to their vehicles by a mad scientist.
3	by the luchador Tremendo Rex - though he has been struck down several times he always returns - in truth his mask is lined with magneto-cybernetics, which allow his personality to possess anyone who wears it.
4	by a crew of kind-hearted though abjectly freakish vigilantes who wear ratty old mascot costumes.
5	by a citizens' militia as anal-retentively disciplined as the city is anarchic.
6	by a commune of troglodytic cannibals, who aren't moral paragons by any means yet still relatively decent sorts for this city.

D6	The public transit of this future crime city
1	is streetcars, but they have been taken over by hoodlums and equipped with bladed rails that carve their tracks into any surface.
2	is a subway system - all the cars have been joined together, each converted into a mobile den of vice, together a veritable hell on wheels.
3	is a rickety monorail - and the price of admission now is to go "mono a mono" with another rider.
4	was dismantled for scrap, though death-trappy gondolas and ziplines are constantly being set up to fill the void.
5	was some ferries, now converted into the floating fortresses of crime-lords.
6	is buses, now bristling with welded-on armour and mounted guns.

D6	The popular new drug on the streets of this future crime city
1	is "speckled jenkem" - the fumes of fermented feces from people infested by mutant tapeworms - its high is often compared to suffocating in the warm and nourishing confines of a giant's lower intestine.
2	is the lost (and now found) episode of a defunct podcast - it is of such perfect mediocrity that listening to it induces a blissful torpor.
3	is adrenochrome extracted from the brains of terrified people - no longer exclusive to the elites, now everybody can get a hit.
4	is the powdered horns of wooly rhinoceroses - a species transgenically re-created in this city due to its lax scientific ethics, to the dismay & crushing deaths of many. Snorting the keratinous stuff prionically reshapes brain-tissue, imbuing the user with false memories and feelings of prehistoric majesty.
5	is "the derp", a strain of herpes which causes lesions on your genitals & your prefrontal cortex, causing libidinally-charged and uncomfortably-Freudian hallucinations.
6	is "black ice" - a sentient variant of crystal meth which grows parasitically in and on its users, and links them into a psychotic hive-mind.