Old World Muse

Legojam? No, this is the year of the travelogue:

https://monstersandmanuals.blogspot.com/2024/05/reflections-on-city.html

http://throneofsalt.blogspot.com/2024/06/a-week-in-ireland.html

In Valencia

Soft and slow, we are flowing back, like sand, like time, back to the beginning. I am the first, reborn of the red soil, my vision filled with the blue ghost of an ancient ocean. Come with us down into the red dust and rise again, transformed.

There are red cliffs here. We've got red cliffs in Ontario too - much better, much stronger red cliffs, because ours are red granite while the ones here are red soil.

 

Everything in Spain is sooo slow. They expended their civilizational energy centuries ago expelling the Umayyads. There are ruins everywhere you look. Substance, fading substance, solidified past. I have heard that Toronto has the most construction cranes in operation of any city in North America... a vapourous future. They are building shit, falling-apart shit, for stupid & meaningless dreams - fancies, unworthy of the title of dream.

Lots of plazas in Valencia, big walkable spaces, big public parks - zero crackheads, aggressive schizophrenics, etc. Spain's GDP is like a third of Canada's, and while GDP is fake, come on, there's literally no trade-off, one way is just plain superior. Although, I have heard that those types converge on Barcelona. They live in the hills, so I've heard. Dirty, dirty Barcelona. Full of dust, and thieves.

Looksmatch here is but a whisper from across the sea. I assumed this was a Slavic phenomenon. It is Mediterranean too. Perhaps related to low cost of living. Many more children here, young couples with children.

Seems it's the fashion now to include snail in Valencian paella, which traditionally has chicken and rabbit. The snail adds nothing, and in fact I received an unpleasant surprise biting into a shard of shell that had broken off into the rice. Who is this meant to appeal to? Is there a glut of tourism from fucking ground beetles?

 

The gay community seems to be thriving in Valencia. Saw little to no corporate pride stuff, and yet many posters for monster drag shows & suchlike... perhaps because the Valencian accent sounds gay... they lisp, you see, they pronounce their s's as th's. La raza cosmica pronounces and will pronounce s's properly...

Witnessed nuns like a flock of birds - magpies, or penguins - being shephered by a fat priest. He was Catholic, but even so a priest shouldn't be fat. Sets a bad example. Glad I didn't end up paying to go into some tourist-catering cathedral. Cathedrals are Disneyland. All your favourite Bible characters, big and gilded! Wowza! The outward ceremony is anti-Christ.

Anime is everywhere, on the train TV. It's in stores, on shirts, in graffiti - I witnessed two women with Sailor Moon hair. Japanese soft power.

Piña colada, pinya they say, nya like a Japanese cat. Miaw, in ancient Egypt. The Habiru, the Celts, Semitic outflow from Egypt... ancient people, ancient wisdom...

Terroir is not just for wine. There are energies in the air, the water, the earth, that shape and are shaped by the people who live there. Viktor Schauberger knew this. Ray Peat.

 

In Scotland

When an animal looks up at the night sky, what does it see? Thousands and thousands of tiny points. Then a man looks up at the same points and sees millions of stars; galaxies, within which are billions of planets. Do you want to know what I see? Were you there when I created the stars?

Landed in Manchester - scanner pods! Dehumanization, worse than the GERMANS. Airports are an excuse for the globalist deep state to treat citizens the way they wish they could treat us everywhere.

Outside the airport Manchester is nicer than I have heard. Nice suburbs, trees and bushes and bricks and old churches and old factories. The people sound like mealy-mouthed toddlers.

 

The UK has a gnarling energy, something is off, physically, aesthetically, about the people here. There is no summer. It is 17 degrees. Perhaps it is this. Everyone has it, the natives, the immigrants. The country is wrong. Perhaps it's the rebuilt Stonehenge. Stonehenge is fake. Halloween 3 is about this.

San Miguel is only 5% here, as opposed to 5.4% in Spain - probably tax-related - unforgivable. I much prefer trains to planes these days, yet at the same time people have become too jaded to planes - for hundreds of thousands of years it has been a human dream to fly - perhaps because of the humiliation ritual of airport security theater.

Walter Scott quotes in Edinburgh train station - very cynical man - if it were Canada it would be group of seven paintings... sick of the group of seven! Has there been no high art in Canada in a century?! There was a church that burned down a little while ago - a group of seven mural inside. That church was a martyr, a suicide incendiary taking the mediocre cruft of stuck culture down with it.

 

I have no nostalgia walking through the places I've been. The past is dead to me and I am dead to the present. It's a ghost-feeling.

Lots of rain. Much too big slugs and snails. To pay for a washroom? What is this, Nazi Germany? Warhammer could have only come out of the UK. Spain could never invent wargaming, because it is too nice, the people too healthy physically & mentally.

Big beer bottles - affordable & quality whisky... will I take back what I said about San Miguel here? Perhaps halfway. Exorbitant vice taxes are a WASP sickness inflicted on right-thinking and right-drinking people.

British cuisine is unfairly maligned - can't get good fish & chips outside the UK, and meat pies are lovely - british comedy isn't maligned enough.

The Tesco Spanish tortilla is very bad, one of the worst things I have eaten that wasn't rotten or moldering. People say about this and that: "it's like eating cardboard". I have heard this said about Domino's pizza. People who say this are wrong, except when I say it about the Tesco Spanish tortilla - it's also quite like eating styrofoam. The Lidl Spanish tortilla is okay, much better by comparison.

The Future..?

Nothing exists in the space between gears. A mind cannot outrace a machine. A mind cannot outrace a machine. Nothing exists in the space between gears.

Can dreams lie? Most definitely. Can cities lie? Not well, and not easily. But what of a city in a dream? Boston calls to me, like the waves of a risen tide. A poor memory works only backwards. I am in Boston, and its streets are swept with tephra. I am in Boston, and gorge rises in my throat as I stumble away from the sea. Tasmanian devils chase me through space and time. I am going to Boston and I am leaving Boston. The wakened Boston is a discarded chrysalis and a thousand diaphonous wasps have eaten its transmogrifying corpse and hatched into sleep. They are coming home.

D6x6 Sexy Space Women Aliens

Like asari or twileks.

Click the button below to get your sexy space women aliens:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These aliens resemble sexy space women because
1	they are an artificial caste created to better interact with humanity - similar variants exist for interactions with other species.
2	of a proto-human psychic so powerful and horny their libido reshaped these aliens' ancestors from across the cosmos.
3	they hybridized themselves with human DNA to immunize themselves against a plague that was tearing through their population due to their reproduction by parthenogenesis.
4	Amelia Earhart flew through a wormhole and crashed on their home planet, where her knowledge and her plane kickstarted their scientific/industrial revolution. They phenotypically re-engineered themselves to honour her, who they worship as a goddess.
5	of pareidolia - the longer you look, the less your brain convinces itself of the resemblance.
6	of an evolutionary fluke so unlikely to have occured naturally that it's inspired dozens of new and popular religions.

D6	A difference in the appearance of Earth women and these sexy space women aliens is
1	that they've got translucent flesh which reveals a decidely inhuman skeletal structure.
2	that they're hexapods, and freely switch between centaur-like and bipedal four-armed stances.
3	that they've got a quivering mass of cilia and chromatophores instead of a face.
4	that they're about twice as large, with proportionate square-cube law thickness.
5	that their humanoid section is made up of wet and purplish organs everted from within their echinodermoid mesoskeleton.
6	that they've got visible seams from where the colonial sub-organisms that compose them are joined.

D6	Among other aliens (whose women these sexy space aliens do not resemble) they have a reputation
1	as expert pilots, shrewd traders, and vicious pirates.
2	as spymasters and under-handed diplomats.
3	as explorers, prospectors, and nomads.
4	for being drug traffickers and party monsters.
5	for scientific innovation and expensive yet quality manufacturing.
6	for ideological dogmatism, paranoia, and unpredictability.

D6	These sexy space women aliens tend to view the Earth-practice of Earth-smooching
1	as like a dog trying to hump you, when the dog should know better.
2	as confusing yet amusing.
3	as something that should only be done within the bounds of sacred marriage.
4	as a disturbing misuse of a combined digestive-respiratory orifice.
5	as an unusual thing to do outside of mating season.
6	as a novelty which quickly loses its appeal.

D6	Lusty spacers far from home and significant others say that these sexy space women aliens
1	are tricksy bastards looking to lay eggs in your brain.
2	are all members of the harem of the galactic emperor, and sleeping with them risks the emperor's terrible wrath.
3	use holograms to disguise their true form, which would drive you mad if you saw it (with pleasure, horror, or both, depending on the teller).
4	were the inspiration for mermaids and other sorts of mythical feminine beings.
5	are nice to have a fling with, but difficult to have a long-term relationship with due to biological and cultural differences.
6	are prudes, and that you'd be better off hooking up with a galmoxian, even if they do resemble rhinocerous-slugs - seriously, galmoxians are always down to clown.

D6	The dominant polity among these sexy space women aliens
1	is guided by a class of "librarians" cybernetically linked to a repository which aims to collect and synthesize all information in the universe.
2	is a meritocratic yet volatile republic wherein members can rise or fall swiftly based on their achievements (or lack thereof).
3	is theocratic, and premised on the idea of their unique grace among all species in the universe.
4	is decentralized and deliberately experimental, with the results of successful societal experiments percolating across governmental regions.
5	has been taken over by robots (who also kind of look like sexy space women) due to unforeseen emergent consequences of their programming. Organic citizens are taken care of, but have no real power.
6	is ruled by an immortal queen.

D100+ Fragrant Flowers

Click the button below to get your flower:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://slightadjustments.blogspot.com/p/generator.htm

D6x6 Pungent Porcs

For the generation of pig-orcs.

Previous orc content here & here & here.

Click the button below to get your porcs:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These porcs look like humanoid
1	bristly wild boars.
2	domestic pigs, fat and pink and squealing.
3	warthogs, with their weird knobby skulls, and warts.
4	red river hogs, strikingly coloured & tufted.
5	entelodonts, the hideous hell-pigs of prehistory.
6	babirusas, hairless with long tusks that sometimes grow all the way back into their heads.

D6	These porcs are generally thought of as belligerent
1	because in ancient days they had a grand civilization that challenged the gods - for their hubris they were cursed so that if they ever gathered in sufficient numbers to rebuild their civilization they would be possessed by the sound of war-drums and be driven to aimless conquest and pillage.
2	because once a year their men enter a terrible frenzy, gathering into bachelor-bands to violently compete among themselves and drive others from their territory. Women and castrated men remain peaceable, and sometimes fall prey to indiscriminate retribution.
3	because their economy is based on taking slaves and spoils and redistributing them to reinforce social bonds and debts.
4	because their society is quite insular and xenophobic, so the interactions most people have with them are with gangs of bandit-exiles, or with watchmen telling them to fuck off.
5	because they're instinctually driven to tussle themselves and those around them into a rigid dominance hierarchy - though on the other hand they lack the human instincts for revenge and spite.
6	because there's been a war on with them for so long that few remember a time before.

D6	These porcs are known to inhabit
1	the wooded foothills of mountains, where goodly folk fear to tread unless to render tribute to the monstrous lords of their peaks.
2	the savannah and steppe, riding burly and ornery elephant birds.
3	uncharted lagoons and isles on the coast, going upriver in flat-bottomed barges.
4	villages built around public wallow-pits, in a similar way to how human villages might be built around a bathhouse.
5	megalithic ritual sites older than agriculture, gathering seasonally to drink beer, feast, marry, and worship.
6	ziggurats with slanted levels, the zig-zagging ways up them confusing to outsiders.

D6	These porcs practice
1	self-scarification, encoding their names, relations, achievements, and so on on their hides, so that their stories will not be forgotten with their deaths.
2	marriage of the spouses of and adoption of the children of those they honourably slay.
3	an art of squealing-song which is grating to most others yet oddly beautiful to those of discriminating taste.
4	some of the most advanced dentistry in the world.
5	adiposarchy, rule by the fattest - as a correlate for wealth, a de facto oligarchy.
6	ocular sacrifice - their eyesight isn't very good anyways, and its loss is more than compensated for by their senses of smell and hearing.

D6	These porcs like to fight
1	with hollow-tipped spears stuffed with noxious and poisonous mixtures.
2	with their war-bats flapping about, biting enemies and shitting in their eyes.
3	with charges and shield-walls which leverage their mass to batter and compress enemy formations.
4	with great iron-shod clubs.
5	from atop something between a chariot and a palanquin, carried by their fellows, if they are of sufficient status.
6	with an axe-edged buckler in one hand that can chop weapon-hafts and flesh as well as parry.

D6	These porcs believe
1	that they are the only people in the world who came into existence outside the divine plan, and so are the only people who are truly free of fate.
2	that humans cruelly split their children's trotters at birth to make toes.
3	that pigs are the reincarnations of porcs who were foolish in life.
4	that the sun hates them, and so avoid it when possible and wear wide hats when not possible.
5	that a bald head is lucky, and so sometimes collect bald heads if they don't have one themself.
6	that showing one's tail around strangers and acquaintances is shameful.

D6x6 Putrid Pandemics

Not zombies or memetic or whatever... just normal.

Click the button below to get your pandemic:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This pandemic's origin
1	was a zoonotic transfer.
2	was a military bioweapons project.
3	was a sample retrieved from Mars.
4	was a synthetic meat start-up.
5	was a biotech corporation's pet A.I. that'd been let off the leash.
6	was an intellectual dark web cult.

D6	This pandemic is
1	viral in nature.
2	bacterial in nature.
3	fungal in nature.
4	amoebaic in nature.
5	parasitic in nature.
6	prionic in nature.

D6	This pandemic's symptoms include
1	muscle weakness, skin hardening, and ligament lengthening.
2	blood clots, heart attacks, and ribcage inversions.
3	skin separation, gaseous inflation, and autoimmune jellyfication.
4	bone-spike growth and marrow explosions.
5	vomiting, diarrhea, and necrosis of the digestive system from the inside-out.
6	false memories, hallucinations, loss of impulse control, and neural degradation.

D6	This pandemic was exacerbated
1	by a faulty vaccine that made some pharmaceutical company executives and their government toadies a lot of money.
2	by a senile American president bungling international coordination and goodwill.
3	by climate refugees being packed into deprived conditions.
4	by Mossad operatives unleashing it in false flag attacks.
5	by proliferation of more contagious yet no less dangerous mutant strains.
6	by a global economic crash that made it difficult to marshal the resources to contain and cure the pandemic.

D6	This pandemic has
1	a lame name, like protein-synchronous major replication error tendency septicity.
2	a cool name, like the Black Plague.
3	a name based off the scientist who discovered it, like Werhler's Syndrome or something.
4	an acronym name, like V.O.I.D. or whatever.
5	like a dozen different names because people couldn't agree on one.
6	a dumb slang name that caught on, like Captain Trips.

D6	Attempted solutions to this pandemic include
1	firebombing infected population centers.
2	mandatory gene modifications enforced by state violence and threat of bank account cancellation, many of which ended in deaths even more horrible than the pandemic could induce.
3	deployments of navies to blow up disease-fleeing migrant fleets.
4	using autonomous and self-replicating war-machines to create firebreaks between infected and uninfected zones.
5	institution of surveillance regimes that make the Patriot Act look like a furby's voice recorder.
6	dogs trained to sniff it out loosed en masse into the streets, to maul to death those who they smell it on.

D6x6 Interesting Ibixians

Ibixians are official D&D goat-people.

Click the button below to generate your ibixians:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: 

D6	These ibixians resemble
1	Bagots, with broad and swooping horns, black heads, and white bodies.
2	Damascus goats - very cute while young, horrendously ugly when mature.
3	Dutch Landraces, with long beards and shaggy coats.
4	Angora goats - they've got coats of wooly mohair.
5	Nigerian Dwarfs - they're just little guys.
6	Kamoris, with long ears and calico-like fur colouration.

D6	These ibixians live
1	as mountainfold herders who sometimes sweep down into the lowlands in great bleating war-parties.
2	in cities that are downright hostile terrain to humans, full of precarious slopes and ledges.
3	in hidden vales and the dark hearts of forests, committing atrocities for the pleasure of their demon-god Baphomet.
4	in a literally parallel society - horizontally parallel to be exact - in narrow towers and the walkways between, due to obscure and ancient law regarding permissible ratios of land ownership (Goat Tower).
5	as anarcho-primitivist guerillas undermining the works and strictures of civilization.
6	as slash-and-burn grazers - they slash your livestock to fertilize the ground and burn your fields to make room for delicious grasses.

D6	These ibixians
1	shave criminals and make of their wool shame-garments.
2	chew the shoots of a sort of blue bamboo, which grants them euphoria and sonourous belches.
3	coat the horns of their ancestors in clays and resins to make them conduits to the otherworld.
4	make hollows in their hooves which they fill with beads to enhance the music of their dancing.
5	find eating meat to be the height of barbarity, a sure sign of an irrational mind.
6	include the elongated (murine?) pupil as a common motif in fabrics and jewelry.

D6	These ibixians view goats
1	essentially the same way we see monkeys.
2	as a lost tribe of their kind cursed for some misdeed.
3	as their exclusive property, and human goatherds as bastard thieves.
4	as shameful hook-ups.
5	as artifacts of a previous, unfinished cosmos.
6	as potential family - they can turn goats into more ibixians by feeding them special concoctions.

D6	These ibixians go into battle
1	with shields painted with their personal sigils, and edges they've chewed up in their fighting frenzies.
2	with long lances they use in leaping attacks.
3	to the beat of drums stretched with the skin of their slain enemies.
4	strapped with smouldering pots - if they're struck with a blow that smashes a pot, toxic fumes billow out around them and their opponent.
5	wielding tall and wickedly-hooked falxes.
6	directly only when cornered - they prefer using their superior mobility to harass and ambush.

D6	Ibixian is a lame name, instead these guys are called
1	the Horned Men.
2	cliff-chasers.
3	caprines.
4	the get of Tanngrisnir.
5	goatheads.
6	bleaties.