Thursday, July 11, 2024

D6x6 Sexy Space Women Aliens

Like asari or twileks.

Click the button below to get your sexy space women aliens:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here:

D6These aliens resemble sexy space women because
1they are an artificial caste created to better interact with humanity - similar variants exist for interactions with other species.
2of a proto-human psychic so powerful and horny their libido reshaped these aliens' ancestors from across the cosmos.
3they hybridized themselves with human DNA to immunize themselves against a plague that was tearing through their population due to their reproduction by parthenogenesis.
4Amelia Earhart flew through a wormhole and crashed on their home planet, where her knowledge and her plane kickstarted their scientific/industrial revolution. They phenotypically re-engineered themselves to honour her, who they worship as a goddess.
5of pareidolia - the longer you look, the less your brain convinces itself of the resemblance.
6of an evolutionary fluke so unlikely to have occured naturally that it's inspired dozens of new and popular religions.
D6A difference in the appearance of Earth women and these sexy space women aliens is
1that they've got translucent flesh which reveals a decidely inhuman skeletal structure.
2that they're hexapods, and freely switch between centaur-like and bipedal four-armed stances.
3that they've got a quivering mass of cilia and chromatophores instead of a face.
4that they're about twice as large, with proportionate square-cube law thickness.
5that their humanoid section is made up of wet and purplish organs everted from within their echinodermoid mesoskeleton.
6that they've got visible seams from where the colonial sub-organisms that compose them are joined.
D6Among other aliens (whose women these sexy space aliens do not resemble) they have a reputation
1as expert pilots, shrewd traders, and vicious pirates.
2as spymasters and under-handed diplomats.
3as explorers, prospectors, and nomads.
4for being drug traffickers and party monsters.
5for scientific innovation and expensive yet quality manufacturing.
6for ideological dogmatism, paranoia, and unpredictability.
D6These sexy space women aliens tend to view the Earth-practice of Earth-smooching
1as like a dog trying to hump you, when the dog should know better.
2as confusing yet amusing.
3as something that should only be done within the bounds of sacred marriage.
4as a disturbing misuse of a combined digestive-respiratory orifice.
5as an unusual thing to do outside of mating season.
6as a novelty which quickly loses its appeal.
D6Lusty spacers far from home and significant others say that these sexy space women aliens
1are tricksy bastards looking to lay eggs in your brain.
2are all members of the harem of the galactic emperor, and sleeping with them risks the emperor's terrible wrath.
3use holograms to disguise their true form, which would drive you mad if you saw it (with pleasure, horror, or both, depending on the teller).
4were the inspiration for mermaids and other sorts of mythical feminine beings.
5are nice to have a fling with, but difficult to have a long-term relationship with due to biological and cultural differences.
6are prudes, and that you'd be better off hooking up with a galmoxian, even if they do resemble rhinocerous-slugs - seriously, galmoxians are always down to clown.
D6The dominant polity among these sexy space women aliens
1is guided by a class of "librarians" cybernetically linked to a repository which aims to collect and synthesize all information in the universe.
2is a meritocratic yet volatile republic wherein members can rise or fall swiftly based on their achievements (or lack thereof).
3is theocratic, and premised on the idea of their unique grace among all species in the universe.
4is decentralized and deliberately experimental, with the results of successful societal experiments percolating across governmental regions.
5has been taken over by robots (who also kind of look like sexy space women) due to unforeseen emergent consequences of their programming. Organic citizens are taken care of, but have no real power.
6is ruled by an immortal queen.

Sunday, July 7, 2024

D100+ Fragrant Flowers

Click the button below to get your flower:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here:

Saturday, July 6, 2024

D6x6 Pungent Porcs

For the generation of pig-orcs.

Previous orc content here & here & here.

Click the button below to get your porcs:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here:

D6These porcs look like humanoid
1bristly wild boars.
2domestic pigs, fat and pink and squealing.
3warthogs, with their weird knobby skulls, and warts.
4red river hogs, strikingly coloured & tufted.
5entelodonts, the hideous hell-pigs of prehistory.
6babirusas, hairless with long tusks that sometimes grow all the way back into their heads.
D6These porcs are generally thought of as belligerent
1because in ancient days they had a grand civilization that challenged the gods - for their hubris they were cursed so that if they ever gathered in sufficient numbers to rebuild their civilization they would be possessed by the sound of war-drums and be driven to aimless conquest and pillage.
2because once a year their men enter a terrible frenzy, gathering into bachelor-bands to violently compete among themselves and drive others from their territory. Women and castrated men remain peaceable, and sometimes fall prey to indiscriminate retribution.
3because their economy is based on taking slaves and spoils and redistributing them to reinforce social bonds and debts.
4because their society is quite insular and xenophobic, so the interactions most people have with them are with gangs of bandit-exiles, or with watchmen telling them to fuck off.
5because they're instinctually driven to tussle themselves and those around them into a rigid dominance hierarchy - though on the other hand they lack the human instincts for revenge and spite.
6because there's been a war on with them for so long that few remember a time before.
D6These porcs are known to inhabit
1the wooded foothills of mountains, where goodly folk fear to tread unless to render tribute to the monstrous lords of their peaks.
2the savannah and steppe, riding burly and ornery elephant birds.
3uncharted lagoons and isles on the coast, going upriver in flat-bottomed barges.
4villages built around public wallow-pits, in a similar way to how human villages might be built around a bathhouse.
5megalithic ritual sites older than agriculture, gathering seasonally to drink beer, feast, marry, and worship.
6ziggurats with slanted levels, the zig-zagging ways up them confusing to outsiders.
D6These porcs practice
1self-scarification, encoding their names, relations, achievements, and so on on their hides, so that their stories will not be forgotten with their deaths.
2marriage of the spouses of and adoption of the children of those they honourably slay.
3an art of squealing-song which is grating to most others yet oddly beautiful to those of discriminating taste.
4some of the most advanced dentistry in the world.
5adiposarchy, rule by the fattest - as a correlate for wealth, a de facto oligarchy.
6ocular sacrifice - their eyesight isn't very good anyways, and its loss is more than compensated for by their senses of smell and hearing.
D6These porcs like to fight
1with hollow-tipped spears stuffed with noxious and poisonous mixtures.
2with their war-bats flapping about, biting enemies and shitting in their eyes.
3with charges and shield-walls which leverage their mass to batter and compress enemy formations.
4with great iron-shod clubs.
5from atop something between a chariot and a palanquin, carried by their fellows, if they are of sufficient status.
6with an axe-edged buckler in one hand that can chop weapon-hafts and flesh as well as parry.
D6These porcs believe
1that they are the only people in the world who came into existence outside the divine plan, and so are the only people who are truly free of fate.
2that humans cruelly split their children's trotters at birth to make toes.
3that pigs are the reincarnations of porcs who were foolish in life.
4that the sun hates them, and so avoid it when possible and wear wide hats when not possible.
5that a bald head is lucky, and so sometimes collect bald heads if they don't have one themself.
6that showing one's tail around strangers and acquaintances is shameful.

Tuesday, July 2, 2024

D6x6 Putrid Pandemics

Not zombies or memetic or whatever... just normal.

Click the button below to get your pandemic:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here:

D6This pandemic's origin
1was a zoonotic transfer.
2was a military bioweapons project.
3was a sample retrieved from Mars.
4was a synthetic meat start-up.
5was a biotech corporation's pet A.I. that'd been let off the leash.
6was an intellectual dark web cult.
D6This pandemic is
1viral in nature.
2bacterial in nature.
3fungal in nature.
4amoebaic in nature.
5parasitic in nature.
6prionic in nature.
D6This pandemic's symptoms include
1muscle weakness, skin hardening, and ligament lengthening.
2blood clots, heart attacks, and ribcage inversions.
3skin separation, gaseous inflation, and autoimmune jellyfication.
4bone-spike growth and marrow explosions.
5vomiting, diarrhea, and necrosis of the digestive system from the inside-out.
6false memories, hallucinations, loss of impulse control, and neural degradation.
D6This pandemic was exacerbated
1by a faulty vaccine that made some pharmaceutical company executives and their government toadies a lot of money.
2by a senile American president bungling international coordination and goodwill.
3by climate refugees being packed into deprived conditions.
4by Mossad operatives unleashing it in false flag attacks.
5by proliferation of more contagious yet no less dangerous mutant strains.
6by a global economic crash that made it difficult to marshal the resources to contain and cure the pandemic.
D6This pandemic has
1a lame name, like protein-synchronous major replication error tendency septicity.
2a cool name, like the Black Plague.
3a name based off the scientist who discovered it, like Werhler's Syndrome or something.
4an acronym name, like V.O.I.D. or whatever.
5like a dozen different names because people couldn't agree on one.
6a dumb slang name that caught on, like Captain Trips.
D6Attempted solutions to this pandemic include
1firebombing infected population centers.
2mandatory gene modifications enforced by state violence and threat of bank account cancellation, many of which ended in deaths even more horrible than the pandemic could induce.
3deployments of navies to blow up disease-fleeing migrant fleets.
4using autonomous and self-replicating war-machines to create firebreaks between infected and uninfected zones.
5institution of surveillance regimes that make the Patriot Act look like a furby's voice recorder.
6dogs trained to sniff it out loosed en masse into the streets, to maul to death those who they smell it on.

Sunday, June 30, 2024

D6x6 Interesting Ibixians

Ibixians are official D&D goat-people.

Click the button below to generate your ibixians:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: 

D6These ibixians resemble
1Bagots, with broad and swooping horns, black heads, and white bodies.
2Damascus goats - very cute while young, horrendously ugly when mature.
3Dutch Landraces, with long beards and shaggy coats.
4Angora goats - they've got coats of wooly mohair.
5Nigerian Dwarfs - they're just little guys.
6Kamoris, with long ears and calico-like fur colouration.
D6These ibixians live
1as mountainfold herders who sometimes sweep down into the lowlands in great bleating war-parties.
2in cities that are downright hostile terrain to humans, full of precarious slopes and ledges.
3in hidden vales and the dark hearts of forests, committing atrocities for the pleasure of their demon-god Baphomet.
4in a literally parallel society - horizontally parallel to be exact - in narrow towers and the walkways between, due to obscure and ancient law regarding permissible ratios of land ownership (Goat Tower).
5as anarcho-primitivist guerillas undermining the works and strictures of civilization.
6as slash-and-burn grazers - they slash your livestock to fertilize the ground and burn your fields to make room for delicious grasses.
D6These ibixians
1shave criminals and make of their wool shame-garments.
2chew the shoots of a sort of blue bamboo, which grants them euphoria and sonourous belches.
3coat the horns of their ancestors in clays and resins to make them conduits to the otherworld.
4make hollows in their hooves which they fill with beads to enhance the music of their dancing.
5find eating meat to be the height of barbarity, a sure sign of an irrational mind.
6include the elongated (murine?) pupil as a common motif in fabrics and jewelry.
D6These ibixians view goats
1essentially the same way we see monkeys.
2as a lost tribe of their kind cursed for some misdeed.
3as their exclusive property, and human goatherds as bastard thieves.
4as shameful hook-ups.
5as artifacts of a previous, unfinished cosmos.
6as potential family - they can turn goats into more ibixians by feeding them special concoctions.
D6These ibixians go into battle
1with shields painted with their personal sigils, and edges they've chewed up in their fighting frenzies.
2with long lances they use in leaping attacks.
3to the beat of drums stretched with the skin of their slain enemies.
4strapped with smouldering pots - if they're struck with a blow that smashes a pot, toxic fumes billow out around them and their opponent.
5wielding tall and wickedly-hooked falxes.
6directly only when cornered - they prefer using their superior mobility to harass and ambush.
D6Ibixian is a lame name, instead these guys are called
1the Horned Men.
4the get of Tanngrisnir.