Wednesday, August 24, 2022

D6x7 Gith Sects Besides The Githyanki & Githzerai

Click the button below for your very own Gith sect:

Generator generator here:


This gith sect is called the gith[suffix1][suffix2]<br>This gith sect inhabits [inhabit]<br>This gith sect believes [belief]<br>This gith sect is known for [known]<br>This gith sect’s society [society]<br>This gith sect is {allied with|opposed by} [faction]



a microverse of nested pocket dimensions grown like shells by hyperspatial molluscs they tend.
the roots of a great, parasitic plant that slithers about the trunk of the world-tree like a strangler fig.
vaults buried deep beneath the grey wastes of Hades, buttressed against its cloying despair by artifacts of hope, nostalgia, and amusement incorporated into their construction.
a candle-castle on the elemental plane of wax, a place so minor that most compendiums of the planes don't even bother mentioning.
floating palaces in flooded craters on the surface of the moon, crossing to the earth in howdahs atop the backs of giant moths.
a library-jungle created by a lost divinity as a breeding ground for knowledge, where encyclopedic creatures intermix and procreate to create entirely new, often incoherent, information.

that they are the true inheritors of the great illithid empire which will rise in the future and fall long in the past, destined to snuff it out and usurp it in the same moment. Psychic infiltration and domination are their bread and butter.
in taking the bioengineering project that created the Gith into their own hands, splicing samples from exotic creatures into their gene pool and breeding specialized castes.
that it is their duty and destiny to manufacture a Gith god.
that the multiverse is a dream, and that they must find the avatar of the dreamer within it to cement themselves in its memory so something of them survives when the dreamer wakes.
that causality is an illusion, and that chaos and emergent phenomena are truly the hands of cosmic super-consciousnesses sculpting themselves from the stuff of the past - the dialectical development of Gith cultures will bring about the greatest of these super-consciousnesses in their system.
in pacifism and the psychic unification of all beings. While they are vehemently opposed to physical violence, restructuring the minds of enemies to make them friends is seen as acceptable and even commendable.

the sealed suits they wear when around others not of their kind.
their gridlike bioluminescent tattoos.
their obsession with coffee and the particularities of its brewing.
their beauty standards placing emphasis on cauliflower ears.
only being encountered outside their sanctuaries in sets of identical twins.
excessive, elaborate politeness in their speech.

is ruled by the consensus of a council of clan elders who are nigh-impossible to get to agree on anything.
practices a secret language communicated through eye and eyebrow movements, winks, and blinks.
has different sets of laws depending on one's degree of initiation into the sect.
is riven by cults and guilds with their own distinct and dogmatic interpretations of the larger sect's beliefs.
honours their dead by transplanting their bones into the bodies of the living.
separate children from their parents at birth and raise them in cadres, indoctrinating them that their deepest allegiance is to the sect.

a disorder of knight-errant modrons.
a contingent of mercenary fiends seeking to follow the root of all evil to its end.
a plushie-legion of survivors from a long-dead child-emperor's animate toy menagerie.
a pack of malformed kludge-beasts created by the collision and merging of mages miscasting teleportation spells.
indecipherable angel-demons of alien moral systems from the un-space between the outer planes.
a kingdom of beatific reverse-ghosts who sent their souls back in time and through unreality to the imagined golden age of their civilization.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Ventriloquist Dummies of the Nine Worlds

Special thanks to friend of the blog Max of Weird & Wonderful Worlds for the original idea:

Despite what popular thought leads us to believe, the first ventriloquist performance with a dummy was not by Baron de Mengen in 1757. No, the practice is far older. Or younger. Or some sort of age-related descriptor we haven't invented yet for the English language, because our interactions with the perpendicular para-curves of mytho-time have thus far been minimal.

In fact - truer than mere fact - the first ventriloquist dummies were carved and used by the god Loki, in one of his more whimsical and less terrible moods. He carved the dummies from the wood of the world-tree Yggdrasil itself, nine in total - one for each world which hanged from it, out of the branches on which they hanged. It's said that Loki's first performance with the dummies made the giants laugh so hard that the noospheric membrane between myth and fiction was ruptured. It's said that if the dummies are burned together in a bonfire it will serve as a beacon for Surtr to begin his great ending.

The dummies number nine. What follows is their names, and their natures:

From the branch of Asgard was carved Marglod, red-haired and proudly bearded, his fine tunic stitched with golden bells. His voice is hoarse and faint as an old man's on his deathbed. He can predict the next day's weather with perfect accuracy, and if consulted three days in a row guarantees that the fourth day will have a tremendous storm.

From the branch of Muspelheim was carved Bragibrandur, black-charred and wild-haired, whose iron teeth clack sparks with every word. He finds everything funny, but particularly enjoys cruelty. He eats fire and shits coal, taking giant-sized gulps at a go.

From the branch of Niflheim was carved Svellveid, frost-rimed, narrow and gnarled, with two human eyes set in her sockets, their tears frozen on her cheeks. She's caustic to be around, picking on any insecurity like a scab. If given a nibble or sip of a potion or magic item, she has a 50% chance of telling you what it does, and a 50% chance of telling you the opposite of what it does, and will never admit which is which.

From the branch of Vanaheim was carved Hodvonur, flaxen-haired and blue-eyed, his head stuck on backwards to his constant vexation. He permits only women and crossdressing men to stick their hand in him. If he overhears prophecies or foretold dooms he repeats them in a mocking falsetto, and thereby reduces them to mere speculation.

From the branch of Jotunheim was carved Andskott, rough-hewn and bulbous, with shiny chips of flint for eyes. His voice is booming, and he cannot remember names, giving people nicknames instead. He offers counsel in war, and good counsel at that, but for every piece of advice he gives he must also give one to your enemy - appearing in their dreams or shouting it out to them if they're in earshot.

From the branch of Midgard was carved Knutlykki, Brown-haired, bowl-cut, body like a cage of woven twigs. Insists on proper enunciation and grammar. If fed one of your fingers, she can force a being not of this world to save or be forcefully returned from whence it came.

From the branch of Alfheim was carved Rikroen, whose hair is silver and whose skin is painted white, whose smile is furnished with the sharp teeth of cats. Her voice is crackly and whistling. By singing she can cause sunlight to shine clearly through cloud cover and wooden ceilings, and can make the moon glow as bright as the sun for an hour, though this latter act causes her to fall asleep for a month.

From the branch of Nidavellir was carved Eitrylr, small and pock-marked, greasy black hair smeared over his face. His voice is gravelly, and he tolerates no interruptions while he's speaking. He can cause any non-magical device to break by shouting insults at it, but demands payment every time he's made to do so.

From the branch of Svartalfheim was carved Ljotrog, whose skin is dark-bruised though it's made of wood, who stinks of grave-mold and whose eyes are always hidden in shadows. Can't speak, but grunts and moans instead to express himself. He can cause a corpse to decay in an instant by kissing it.

And these are the dummies that number nine, carved by Loki from the branches of the world-tree.

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

D6x6 Unique Unicorns

Click the button below for you certified-unique unicorn:

Generator generator here:

D6 This unicorn appears
1 scruffy and goatish, with a long beard and ridged horn.
2 lanky and knobby-kneed, with a velvety and branching horn.
3 short and chubby, with a wooly fleece and a curling horn.
4 built like a tank, with a wide, scratched-up horn and a thick, folded hide.
5 as a different breed of horse each time you blink, now an elegant Arabian and then a sturdy percheron - always alabaster-white, and always with a sharp, straight, pearlescent horn.
6 blubbery yet sleek, with a speckled hide and an almost comically-long horn.
D6 This unicorn is
1 a minor god of purification rites who abdicated their portfolio in the belief that they could do more good as a creature of flesh and blood.
2 a prodigy that was born in a place where the upper realms touched the mortal world.
3 an angel from a pre-human era when it seemed like quadrepeds might inherit the earth.
4 a kludge-beast of reanimated taxidermy created by a childlike enchanter.
5 the creation of a temple that required an unblemished sacrifice, though it's escaped this fate to this day.
6 a spontaneous exudate of the universe spawned in response to a rising tide of evil.
D6 This unicorn is troubled by
1 a hypocritical and narcissistic knight who is convinced that the unicorn is the only mount worthy of bearing their rump.
2 an aspiring bishop who believes a sign of favour from the unicorn would secure their virtuous reputation.
3 a mind-bogglingly wealthy merchant and horse-breeder who wants it captured for their stables.
4 a nightmare who wants to kill and impersonate it for its own malicious ends.
5 an overbearing mother-in-law-to-be who wants it to confirm the virginity of her son's future bride.
6 a hag and her trio of ogre sons who are inexplicably convinced that the unicorn can grant wishes.
D6 This unicorn inhabits
1 a silver palace somewhere along the way to Heaven where good souls near death sometimes go for a pit-stop halfterlife.
2 a lush vale that doesn't appear on any maps, where the meek can seek sanctuary without violence.
3 a cathedral it built itself from the bones of forgotten martyrs it exhumed from unmarked graves.
4 a ruined castle where a goblin-market has been set up, a market where sentimental belongings and heirlooms can be restored to perfect condition.
5 a mist-shrouded glade where lost travellers sometimes stumble, where they can rest and receive succour before going on their way.
6 whatever caves or other shelters it finds as the sun sets in its endless wandering.
D6 This unicorn's goodness
1 is puritanical, with scant forgiveness for little lies, errors, and weaknesses.
2 takes the form of self-sacrificing charity, allowing the hungry to gnaw off its own leg.
3 is ruthlessly utilitarian and long-sighted, making it capable of shocking callousness in the present for larger gains to the greater good down the line.
4 is uncertain of what the good even is, skeptically questioning itself into inaction.
5 is relentlessly optimistic, able to see the silver lining and redemption in even the meanest creatures.
6 is that of a zealot, a tireless and violent destroyer of evil.
D6 From this unicorn can be looted
1 its horn (called alicorn), which detects and neutralizes poisons on contact, though this causes it to gradually blacken and decay.
2 its blood, which restores drinkers to a state of innocent youth.
3 its brain, which when eaten grants great wisdom, particularly with regard to moral matters - and often great regret for killing a unicorn for its brain.
4 for its bones and hide, which can be worked into weapons and armour with particular efficacy against spirits both good and evil.
5 for its heart, which as an object of immense purity can soak up a number of curses (or one massive curse) through a sort of magical osmosis.
6 for its hooves, which can be worked into shoe-soles and keys and other such trinkets that allow one to trod the weird ways through the planes and cryptogeographical places.