Tuesday, April 16, 2019

D20x??? Hideous Hags

Hags are awesome, and deserve a spot beside liches and vampires as the big magical humanoid bad guys.

Generator generator here: https://paperelemental.blogspot.com/p/list-to-html-generator.html


This hag is called [Name]. She has [Has]. This hag lives in [Abode] [Locale]. She is heralded by [Omen]. Her magic [Magic]. This hag is rumoured to [Rumour].

[Title] [Proper]
[GenDescript] [Title] [Proper]
[Proper] [PartDescript][Part]
[GenDescript] [Proper]
The [GenDescript] [Title]






hands as long and thin as a spider’s web
eyes as big as pie dishes protruding from their sockets, reflecting light back sickly and miscoloured
hair like steel wool
teeth and talons carved from stone
a hollow body, curled closed most of the time like peeled bark
backwards knees and elbows
a hunchback with an indent like a cauldron, in which the hag mixes noxious brews
a hole over her heart where blackbirds nest
a spiky radula for a tongue that can rasp flesh clean off bones
eyes on the backs of her head and hands
sharp quills in a row down her spine
glowing blood, like fireflies crawling through her veins
fanged maws in her armpits
a face like an optical illusion, looking young and beautiful from some angles, ugly and decrepit from others
a fuzzy coat of mold growing over her skin
serpents for intestines which slither out to taste the air from both ends
cloven hooves for feet
a tail like a scorpion’s
mewling, malformed fetuses burrowed into her back like a Surinam toad
two parasitic twins growing out of her waist
a warty hide, thick enough to serve as armour
moving tattoos made from colourful maggots inserted beneath her skin
deep-drooping wrinkles with rabid bats roosting beneath
pitted knives decoratively pierced through loose patches of skin
a sagging neck that can elongate spring-like to the length of her body
a voice that sounds like a choir being strangled
a tremendously fat, scarred body that makes even the grievous marks of near-fatal wounds seem small compared to the bulk
a bare ribcage, hinged so that it can swing open, holding burning ghosts among her glistening organs
seven keratinous horns growing like the tines of a crown from her pate
a dozen rows of teeth extending down her palate to her throat

a giant’s skull
a rotting gourd
a tower-sized candle with a wick that burns with a spectral flame
a rusted iron cube
the belly of a massive undead frog
a tent made from the skins of calico cats
a maze of stacked, worm-eaten tomes
a huge mushroom
a hut made of children’s bones
a cottage that walks with immense spider’s legs
a shack crafted from confectionary
in a stained cromlech
a desecrated church
a wolf-den
a pocket dimension within a painting
a hovel of piled rubble
a dilapidated mansion
a big brazier which gives off semi-solid smoke the hag shapes into shelter and furniture
a lodge made from the burnt logs salvaged from witches’ pyres
an attic torn off the home that once housed it

on a blasted heath.
on a treacherous mountainside.
in a stinking fen
in a burbling bog
in a peccant swamp
in a cramped cave
in an abandoned hamlet
on a lone island in the middle of a foggy lake
on a misty moor
in a fetid pit
in a jagged ravine
at the bottom of a murky pond
on a snowy peak
on a precarious cliff overhanging the sea
in a foreboding forest
in a ruined city
in a glade ringed by ivy-overgrown menhirs
in a thicket so dense that sunlight never touches the soil
atop a crumbling mesa
in a ghastly graveyard

a flock of songbirds falling dead from the sky
toxic weeds spontaneously sprouting in the dirt
nightmares of aging and time passing by quick as a river
accidents that mutilate and maim
madmen screaming her name all at once
milk spoiling in moments
insects flying or marching in diabolic sigils
sorrowful songs heard on the wind
livestock growing patterns of boils in her image
the dimming of the sun, a chill coming even in the midst of summer
green things turning autumn colours
an imp with a rat’s face, blaring a black clarion
by wells drawing up putrescence instead of water
by corpses crying out their guilty secrets
by mudslides and other minor natural disasters
by pregnant creatures being chewed open from within by their unborn young
by predators ritualistically sacrificing their prey
by crops becoming infected with a hallucinogenic blight
by loyal pets turning against their masters
rains of fish, slugs, and other slimy creatures

lets her see through mirrors, and walk between them
accelerates decay and the ravages of time
can steal luck from someone and grant it to another
can twist the mind to invert bonds of love and loyalty, sour joy into despair
renders her unable to be harmed by the same thing twice in a row
lets her rouse the dead to pursue the grudges they held in life
can transform human children into ogres and similar monsters
can disguise her as an ordinary person
can foretell the future, though it’s better at predicting the bad than the good
can inflict a doom that makes its victim much more likely to die by a particular means. A potential doom might be [Doom]
lets her use her evil eye to terrify, paralyze, or even kill with fear those she looks at
summons plagues and swarms of vermin
lets her bake spells into treats which affect those who eat them
lets her weep tears of poison, diseased blood, corrosive slime, and the like in great quantities
can animate household objects into servitors
lets her use dolls as a proxy to manipulate people’s bodies
imbues wild plants and animals with malefic, misanthropic intelligence
is more effective on someone if she’s got a sample of their hair or blood
can transform her into a dragon or similar terrible beast under dire circumstances
parasitically drains and perverts divine magic

be engaged to a demon, with their marriage being a ritual to bring it into the mortal world
be the secret advisor of the land’s lord, taking payment by being allowed to go freely among the innocent
have been the found of an order of wizards, betrayed and twisted by her students
be a fierce deity incarnated to better test the virtues of humanity
have a hidden name that would grant any who know it power over her
be feuding with a nearby coven of witches
be the last high priestess of a brutal, primordial religion
conspire with ambitious humans to overthrow lawful authorities
be the earthly servant of an eldritch alien entity
be merely a bogeyman invented by parents to frighten obedience into children
be one of the daughters of Lilith
lead an entire clan of magical mutants
be a once-benevolent nature spirit corrupted by mankind’s abuse
supply criminal cartels with their drugs and poisons
keep her heart in her sister’s chest, an innocent old lady and her opposite in every way
be a fairy noble exiled from the moon for inscrutable crimes, with a silver palace full of treasures awaiting her return, unlockable by the gossamer key she wears around her neck at all times
have written a grimoire containing every fell spell
have gained her powers by killing her family in a fit of madness
have tea with the Devil every Sunday
steal away precocious girls to serve as her apprentices

starvation. This doom’s victim requires twice as many rations, and suffers twice the penalty for being hungry
fire. This doom’s victim takes twice as much damage from fire, and whenever there’s a chance they might catch fire they always do
falling. This doom’s victim takes the maximum possible amount of falling damage when it would be rolled
drowning. Rather than being able to hold their breath, this doom’s victim immediately begins suffocating when they’re immersed in water
magic. This doom’s victim has disadvantage on all saves vs. magic
ambush. This doom’s victim will always fail any check to surprise against them

Sunday, April 14, 2019

D100,000 (Approximately) Goblin Churls

Whole lotta goblins

Generator generator here: http://paperelemental.blogspot.com/p/list-to-html-generator.html

Friday, April 12, 2019

D10x10 Deadly Dragons

Now some dragons to go with these dungeons: http://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2018/10/d20x5-darkling-dungeons.html

Generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D10This dragon is the size of
1a bus.
2a train.
3an elephant.
4a tiger.
5a hill.
6a river.
7an ancient redwood.
8a tyrannosaurus rex.
9a blue whale.
10a grain silo.
D10This dragon’s body is
1almost humanoid, like a bear going about on its hind legs.
2sinuous, serpentine.
3squat and toadlike.
4lanky, near-emaciated.
5built like a tank.
6torpedo-shaped, sharklike.
7fattened like a hog before the slaughter.
8warped, the muscles bunched around the bones like a banyan around its host.
9like a bird of prey’s.
10like a bat’s.
D10This dragon’s scales
1are obscured beneath the man-faced ticks which cling to their body.
2appear to be from several different animals. Their underbelly is scaled like a fish, their head like a crocodile, their tail like a rat, or whatever else.
3have been reinforced with orichalcum wires.
4look like glittering gemstones.
5are each carved with an apotropaic eye.
6have fallen out except for a few patches, leaving bare, raw flesh.
7are hard polypores, a fungal infection sprouting from its flesh.
8are plates of delicately painted porcelain.
9are serrated chitin which scrape together with an awful noise like a cricket Armageddon.
10are actually feather, in all the colours of a sunrise.
D10This dragon moves
1uncannily, like a subtly glitched-out videogame model.
2suspiciously, with darting eyes and twitching digits.
3creakily, as though old and decrepit.
4like a dancer, every movement a flourish.
5carefully, picking each step as precisely as if it were walking on cracked ice.
6like an emperor, dignified and haughty.
7like a bull in a china shop.
8fluidly, too graceful to be made of mundane flesh and bone.
9like a blimp, bloated with buoyant gases.
10like a cat, creeping and pouncing, surprisingly stealthy for its size.
D10This dragon breathes
1a tide of intestinal parasites that will seek to invade the nearest orifice.
2a thick cloud of extremely flammable grease that will congeal on any surface exposed to it, making them ungrippably slippery.
3a volley of organic arrows fletched with phlegm.
4out sickening miamas, wheezing with every exhalation.
5gouts of lava, the molten stuff constantly dribbling from its mouth.
6a burst of swords, spears, axes, and every other weapon that’s been used to try to kill it.
7out the ghosts of everyone it’s ever eaten, which rush out to grab new victims and drag then back into its gullet.
8its own swiftly-regrowing teeth, which if allowed to take root in the earth will transform into reptilian soldiers.
9out echoes of natural disasters, a different one each time. Some options (1d6): 1, an earthquake; 2, a meteor strike; 3, a drought; 4, a flood; 5, a wildfire; 6, a hurricane.
10the essence of despair. For 1d4 rounds after being exposed, either do nothing as you wallow in it, or roll a save. On a success you may act normally. On a failure you must take the course of action which will kill you the quickest.
D10This dragon lairs
1in a mouldering labyrinth it’s dug out for itself at the bottom of a well.
2in a castle on a mountaintop.
3in a haunted forest.
4in a long-abandoned colosseum.
5in the ruins of a city wrecked by its rage.
6in a cave on a cliffside overlooking the sea.
7in plain sight, in the undercroft of a defunct cathedral, using the extensive tunnels beneath to come and go clandestinely.
8in a lush river valley, devouring any prospective settlers.
9in a gold mine, among the gnawed bones of its miners.
10in the quarry that was accidentally dig into its old den.
D10This dragon hoards
1novels. It has no writing talent of its own but hopes to analytically derive the formula for the perfect story from the collected books of humanity.
2children of every species, caring for them as best it can (not well), and eating them when they grow up.
3crowns and thrones, the proof of its superiority over all other would-be rulers.
4failed inventions, and their inventors, a circus of dead dreams.
5secrets, encoded in a cypher only they know. Ravens come to trade juicy bits of gossip in exchange for scraps of meat caught in their teeth.
6plants. Their lair is a garden of rare specimens.
7instruments and musician-slaves to play them.
8addicts and drugs. It enjoys toying with the former by controlling their access to the latter.
9idols, icons, and other religious paraphernalia.
10pots, pans, ovens, spices, and all other cooking supplies.
D10This dragon is served by
1Nothing and no one. Its temper is short and few could survive its tantrums.
2Golems made of stone and scorched bone. It would be too tempted to snack on living servants.
3a human tribe bred like dogs over generations to be ferocious, loyal warriors.
4its own malformed spawn, fed special poisons in infancy so that they would never grow to be a threat.
5a cult which worships its draconic might, with sleeper agents hidden throughout civilized lands.
6cringing kobolds dominated by terror of it.
7an alchemist who believes that samples from the dragon are the key to making the philosopher’s stone.
8sorcerous acolytes it’s convinced that it can make them into true dragons.
9lions, unicorns, manticores, and other heraldic beasts.
10peasant mobs who find service more palatable than consumption.
D10This dragon is hunted by
1a knight whose sworn love it slew.
2a younger prince who believes that killing it will raise him above his older sibling when inheriting the crown.
3a jilted princess whose love it scorned.
4a company of dwarven mercenaries who covet its hoard.
5an earthbound saint who defeated it in a previous life, and is now stuck reincarnating with it until the cycle is stopped for good.
6a mongoose demigod, hungry for the blood of the ultimate serpent.
7a demon it sold its soul to for the prize jewel of its hoard. The demon is too weak to collect what was promised to it on its own.
8a society of warrior-monks who by long tradition must anoint their new grandmaster with dragon-blood.
9a lich who wishes to make a robe from its hide.
10a master thief hired to acquire a particular item from their hoard.
D10This dragon’s heartblood
1can be drained to make a number of grenades equal to its HD that explode in a burst of its breath weapon.
2can be used to temper a weapon or piece of armour which will be more effective at fighting dragons when complete.
3can be used to brew a potion which will permanently grant its drinker the power to command unintelligent reptiles.
4can be used to brew a number of doses of instantly fatal poison equal to half its HD (rounded up).
5can be used to heal a fatal wound (sub-zero HP to 1 HP per HD), but the one who is healed gains (1d6): 1, a dragon’s greed; 2, a dragon’s eyes; 3, a dragon’s tail; 4, scales growing beneath their skin; 5, the stubs of wings poking from their back; 6, sharp teeth and an obligate carnivore diet.
6spawns entirely new species of reptile where it spills.
7bestows the dragons knowledge and memories on those who drink it.
8is just regular blood. Bummer.
9, if transfused into a baby, will increase all that baby’s physical stats by 1d6 when they mature, but in their dreams they will only ever be a dragon.
10makes any who taste it immune to fear.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

D6x7 Saucy Sphinxes

Hieracosphinx: sphinx with bird head. Criosphinx: sphinx with ram head. Sphinxter: ???.

Generator generator: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6This sphinx’s cat-parts look like
1a tiger.
2a caracal.
3a cheetah.
4a a cougar.
5a jaguar.
6a leopard.
D6This sphinx’s wings look like
1a vulture’s.
2a raven’s.
3a condor’s.
4an albatross’.
5a peacock’s.
6an owl’s.
D6This sphinx’s head looks like
1a toothless crone.
2a kindly matron.
3a rosy-cheeked maiden.
4a stern, bearded patriarch.
5a milky-eyed androgyne.
6a scarred brute.
D6This sphinx’s riddle is:
1”The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?” (Answer: Footsteps)
2”What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you?” (Answer: Your name)
3”Tall I am young, Short I am old, While with life I glow, Wind is my foe. What am I?” (Answer: A candle)
4”Weight in my belly, trees on my back, nails in my ribs, feet I do lack. What am I?” (Answer: A ship)
5”What is more useful when it is broken?” (Answer: An egg)
6”Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?” (Answer: Nothing)
D6If you answer its riddle correctly, this sphinx will
1hurl itself off the nearest fatal ledge.
2bite its own head off.
3be driven mad.
4swear to serve you for a day and a night.
5spontaneously combust.
6split apart into a feline, a bird, and a person.
D6If you answer its riddle incorrectly, this sphinx will
1hold you prisoner until you can come up with a better riddle.
2attempt to eat your eyes and tongue.
3pick you up and drop you from a great height.
4follow you around, piss on your head from above your reach, and mock your every failure.
5curse you to take its place until someone comes along who can’t answer your riddle right.
6be overcome with murderous rage.
D6This sphinx guards
1the way along a major trading route.
2a royal sepulchre.
3a key mountain pass.
4an otherwise impassable gatehouse.
5the tower of the wizard who created it.
6a sanctuary for mythical hybrids.