Friday, June 21, 2019

D6x6 Capricious Conspiracies

Stay woke.

Generator automator here:

D6This conspiracy plans to
1use the last remaining functional air loom
2control the earth’s telluric currents by seizing Foucault’s Pendulum
3place its secret insignia on currency, architecture, and media
4sacrifice innocents to Moloch
5fake a Mars landing
6contaminate the world’s freshwater supply with chemicals
D6in order to
1pacify the population.
2immanentize the eschaton.
3accelerate the next stage of human evolution.
4turn the frickin’ frogs gay.
5rule under one world order.
6further the cause of chaos.
D6This conspiracy goes right up to
1the president.
2the pope.
3the heights of Hollywood.
4the reptilian shapeshifting masters of the globe.
5the hidden Nazi legions within the hollow earth.
6the queen of England.
D6This conspiracy has acted from the shadows since
1last week. It’s a recent development.
2the dawn of humanity.
3the fall of Troy.
4the rise of the Hapsburgs.
5the crash at Roswell.
6the end of the gold standard.
D6This conspiracy enforces its will through
1an army of cloned James Deans.
2hyper-advanced science and subliminal manipulation that the ignorant label “magic”.
3manipulation of conventional government, bureaucracy, and police.
4summoning extra-dimensional horrors from across the multiverse.
5brainwashing civilians into sleeper agents.
6teams of cyborg special agents.
D6This conspiracy is opposed by
1a renegade faction within itself.
2a surviving remnant of the Knights Templar.
3the ascended masters of Shangri-La.
4brave tinfoil-hatted radio hosts.
5some dorks who stumbled on it while looking for drugs on the deep web.
6an inter-faith association of mystic knights.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

D20x5 Hungry Ghosts & Unclean Spirits

Gaki Geishas: Hungry for Hung Heichous

Generator automator here:

D20 This being resembles
1 a hairless tiger
2 an ancient potbellied child
3 a locust twisted into humanoid form
4 a gaunt humanoid whose jaw stretches down to its pelvis
5 a bloated, stinking corpse
6 a person whose face and lower body are those of a centipede,
7 a gawping toad whose warts shudder unwholesomely,
8 a bent figure comprised of crawling flies,
9 a maggot that has a child’s face and many malformed limbs,
10 a skeleton scrivened all over with curses,
11 a flayed hog whose tusks are beckoning fingers,
12 rusted iron and moldy branches tied into a humanoid frame,
13 a filthy hound
14 a mummified corpse distended by saponified fat,
15 a grimacing bear covered in needles stuck in its flesh instead of fur,
16 a bat whose wings lack skin, leaving long and grasping fingers,
17 a shrunken, moon-pale hunchback
18 a death-stiffened figure wrapped in a funeral shroud
19 a slavering jackal
20 a mound of meat and clotting scabs
D20 with
1 claws as long and sharp as scythes.
2 a sinuous neck that wrinkles and extends like a caterpillar.
3 needle-like teeth that stick out at unsettling angles from its gums.
4 eyes that glow a sickly yellow.
5 footprints that smoulder with heartless green fire.
6 its innards prolapsed and draped around it like a robe.
7 teeth constantly erupting from its body only to rot and fall out.
8 leeches flowing like tresses from its scalp.
9 a dragging tongue dripping caustic secretions.
10 blind worms wriggling from its every orifice.
11 a keening whine that follows wherever it goes.
12 edges that twist and writhe and never seem stable before your eyes.
13 a literally raspy voice that tears the skin of your ears.
14 thick, reeking smoke wafting from its pores.
15 leaden chains linked through its body.
16 a dizzying scent of bile always preceding its arrival.
17 a tarnished blade impaling it through my the middle, its own body made a sheath for the weapon.
18 a dozen spare mouths gaping across its body.
19 a long, greasy mane strewn with spoiled gobbets.
20 a shadow that lurks and looms menacingly regardless of the ambient light.
D20 Its current state is a punishment for
1 venality in its prior life as a spiritual leader.
2 robbing and killing those who sought hospitality in its home.
3 war profiteering, stoking conflict for a few more luxuries.
4 selling tainted grain to starving folk.
5 poisoning their family to consolidate their wealth.
6 getting others addicted to the drugs they sold to support their own habit.
7 murderous jealousy, removing a rival in love.
8 consuming the offerings left for a god.
9 stealing from the old and honoured dead.
10 telling a lie that led to a slaughter.
11 ignoring their duties in favour of hedonistic distractions.
12 anti-enlightenment, taking a false and terrible leap in their spiritual development.
13 becoming so drunk they vomited on the face of a true guru.
14 cutting open the living to study their organs and processes.
15 smuggling plague into a city resisting conquest.
16 disinterring and eating the dead for the taboo-breaking thrill of it.
17 selling off the higher parts of its soul to demons.
18 being consumed by a mad rage, cutting down comrades and non-combatants alike.
19 betraying the love and trust their children had for them.
20 escaping mortal justice they dearly deserved.
D20 It dwells
1 in the eaves of abandoned buildings,
2 at the threshold of graveyards,
3 in wasp-infested logs,
4 in the boughs of blighted trees,
5 disguised among the trains and followers of armies,
6 at gallows and execution grounds,
7 in desecrated temples,
8 in toxic swamps,
9 where uncleanliness goes uncleared,
10 in stagnant pools,
11 where slaves and serfs are worked to death,
12 in the abodes of ravenous sorcerers who are able to abide its presence and in need of its abilities,
13 above the tree-lines of forlorn mountains,
14 in midden-pits and trash-heaps,
15 wherever misery’s echoes boom,
16 in tunnels dug it’s dug into the dirt,
17 in negligent prisons,
18 in attics and basements where children fear to go,
19 in caves painted with gore,
20 in a tent of ribs and discarded rags,
D20 seeking
1 milk to steal from the bellies of babies.
2 the last gasp of dying men.
3 to chew the hair off the heads of maidens.
4 to sup blood spilled by quarrelling kin.
5 to swallow corpses whole, only to see them burst from their overstuffed belly.
6 charity to snatch from the mouths of beggars and monks.
7 to tempt others down the same path.
8 to devour the ashes of burned homes.
9 to drink the waste of diseased people.
10 ascension to a higher state through being worshipped.
11 forgiveness for its many transgressions.
12 the one delectable treat it has yet to taste.
13 passage into a more amenable afterlife.
14 to be consumed by a greater, more awful being so it can take them over from within.
15 to get drunk off the tears of mourners.
16 to suck sweet dreams out of sleepers’ ears.
17 lesser spirits to nibble and gnaw.
18 to slaughter livestock, raze fields, and drive the populace to starvation.
19 beautiful treasures and priceless art to ruin.
20 to drag the rest of the world down to its petty, defiled level.

Thursday, June 6, 2019

D8x2xD20x6 Cryptic Prophecies

I prophesy that we’re making it to 100 babyyy

Generator automator here:



Should the time come that
As long as
Just as
On the day that
The moment that

the crimson lion
the starveling wolf
the honeyed moon
the silent prince
the troublesome star
the rebellious ox
the bound songbird
the unscaled serpent
the emerald eye
the clay-footed giant
an honest merchant
a vengeful widow
a ferocious lamb
a wise fool
a blind knave
an ignorant teacher
a shepherd without a flock
a gambler of life and limb
an undefeated champion
a generous thief

cowers from
is mistaken for
breaks their oath to
pierces the illusion of
brings justice to
learns the secret of
Is proven impious by
performs for
is riven by
hides with
resists the temptation of
puts to shame

the salt-stained tower
the dancing blade
the bloodstained throne
the mournful demon
the living tapestry
the resplendent dragon
the renegade sun
the causeless soldier
the spawning slime
the fruitful stone
a golden ram
a faithful heretic
a shadowed lantern
an untameable tiger
a numb lover
a grateful prisoner
a headless army
a dubious deity
the twin storms
a wealthy beggar

,  a dour watcher
,  a loquacious beast
,  a shining sceptre
,  a screaming comet
,  a pale steed
,  a one-handed bastard
,  a joyous traitor
,  a loathsome bell
,  their brother-in-battle
,  their whispered word
, the river of milk
, the great sorcerer
, the maimed leviathan
, the burning chariot
, the proud worm
, the exiled emperor
, the calamitous judge
, that singular occasion
, their mingled weeping
, the chittering sea

is going to
ought to

lead to
raise up
bring low
turn against
align with
shake the foundations of
drive away
spark a quest for

the ivory gate!
the nacreous key!
the peerless crown!
the cinereous spirit!
the arcane passage from death!
the regret of all rulers!
the perilous sanctum!
the astral precipice!
the original lie!
the fateful chalice!
a true knight!
an incomparable treasure!
a sacred child!
an age of strife!
a false saviour!
a pillar of the earth!
a beacon of prosperity!
a warrior’s paradise!
a lost metropolis!
a forgotten truth!