Friday, May 26, 2023

GLOG Class: The Martial Artist - A Blogswap In Collaboration With FifthDragon

Fifthdragon did most of this. His blog can be found here:

GLOG Class: Martial Artist
Starting Skills (1d6):
1) Riddles
2) Meditation
3) Balance
4) Endurance Running
5) Painting & Calligraphy
6) Dance
Starting Equipment: Flowing unhindering robes (as unarmored), 20 ft of thin rope belt, shaving razor, letter of recommendation from your previous master, skilled but unscrupulous rival (Isn't it fun when you get a relationship or something else that's not literally equipment as part of your starting equipment? - semiurge wrote this)

A: Backhand Strike, Eternal Student
B: Chi, Unlocking the Gate
C: Candlesmoke Prana, +1 Chi
D: Temple-Shattering Insight, +1 Chi


Backhand Strike: If you make a successful maneuver against an enemy combatant, you may also make a free unarmed attack against them. What is a maneuver, and how do you succeed? Perhaps the answer lies in FifthDragon's GLOG. Uh ok how about you make a contested stat roll (like in Many Rats on a Stick) to trip, shove, grapple, etc., your target in lieu of an ordinary attack - it's contested strength if it's raw strength, dexterity if it's something tricky, constitution if it requires endurance.

Eternal Student: Whenever you defeat an enemy combatant in a fair fight, you may formalize your insights against them into a Stance. Choose an identity of your defeated opponent and then name your Stance and write it down somewhere. After that, you may as an intelligence-based maneuver (!maneuver again!) adopt that stance whenever you please, and it is obvious to regular people that you are a kung fu dude and to kung fu dudes exactly what stance you are in.

You get +2 defence and +2 to attack or perform maneuvers against enemy combatants the Stance is strong against. For example, you defeat a gnoll thief named Steve. After the fight, you note the Scorpion Stings the Nose Stance, which gives you +2 to fighting gnolls. Alternatively, you could note the Watchful Hound Stance, which gives +2 vs. thieves, or the Humility-Breaking Fist Stance, which gives +2 vs. people named Steve.

Those trained in martial arts can trivially overcome these stances by changing their own- you and other kung fu dudes can get a Stance's +2 bonuses against a martial artist regardless of identity, but only for the round you switch to it, and you get a -2 penalty afterwards as they learn to overcome it. You may know any number of Stances and be in only one at a time. 


Chi: Through inner centering and mastery of each individual muscle and nerve of your body, you can consciously control the flow of life energy throughout yourself and turn it to other means. You start with a maximum of 4 Chi, -1 for each object worth more than a fresh apple in your inventory. Valuable possessions weigh down your thoughts and focus your energy around themselves, disrupting the delicate patterns necessary for kung fu shit. Your starting items from this class are below this limit.

You may spend 1 Chi to immediately reroll a failed check to high jump, balance, do flips, catch a fly with chopsticks, run up walls, or otherwise do crazy kung fu shit. When you take a long rest or meditate unmoving for an hour in a location of spiritual significance, you regain all lost Chi.

Unlocking the Gate: You are initiated into the secrets of the Martial Schools. The letter of recommendation from your previous master contains within it encoded katas (that you can now read) that will teach you one technique from their school (roll 1d6 on their school’s table), and you may contact them to learn more. You may also learn more by: defeating significant kung fu opponents and learning their techniques through combat; seeking out ascetic or mendicant masters and learning from them; receiving revelations through significant study of the natural world and its secrets; acquiring secret scrolls of kung fu hidden within temples or dungeons; being gifted divine inspiration by gods or spirits as rewards for your help.

If you are still an active student of a school and pay obedience to a master, they often teach one technique of their school each time you acquire a new template, as you prove yourself more capable of handling kung fu’s devastating power.


Candlesmoke Prana: You have trained your Chi to keep your body in perfect balance. You may run along any surface, even ones that will not support your weight, so long as you do not stop moving. You could run along laundry lines, treetops, a hail of arrows, the tops of a crowd’s heads, etc., and balance a perfectly full teacup in each hand without spilling. By spending 1 Chi, you may run along things that are not surfaces, like water, candlesmoke, spiderwebs, or fire, for three rounds or until you stop moving, whichever comes first.


Temple-Shattering Insight: You may learn the secret 7th techniques of each school, though you still must be gifted or discover them as usual. You may also invent your own techniques, given a week of seclusion, a source of inspiration such as a natural feature, a recent epic battle, or the accoutrements of a philosophy, and the GM’s approval. You may formalize these creations into their own school , and other masters may give you the respect deserved of a kung fu school’s founder.

Martial Arts Schools:

Mountaintop School:
Granite Pillar of Love Style

1. Guarding Mountain Breaks the Storm: Your glance is like a palm of chiseled stone, your love like a twenty-foot statue. Once per round you may interpose yourself between one attack and its intended target, becoming the new target. You do not actually need to be adjacent, nor does your body move in a physical way. If you hold a bond of love towards the target, you may spend 1 Chi to harden that love into a skin of granite, reducing the damage by 1d4. Like granite, your love may chip or crack if the blow is strong enough.

2. Lips-on-Marble Attitude: Compassion is the bedrock of our world, the universe’s first kiss telling us “I want you to exist.” You never injure or kill a target you attack if you do not intend to, no matter the injury or weapon. If you dropped a mountain on your opponent, it would crack in half before it split their skin. By spending 1 Chi, you may focus the universe’s love for you in the same way. No thing that man did not shape out of hate or fear can harm you for one round. This means you could walk through an erupting volcano or have a building collapse on top of you, but a dagger would still cut you just the same.

3. Statue-Shaping Chisel Fist: If you kill your enemies they remain your enemies. If you love your enemies, you defeat them once and for all. Combatants you defeat must save vs CHA to attack living things for one day after their defeat as you teach them the compassion the world may hold for those who return it. Additionally, you may use your Chi to shatter the defenses around your target’s heart chakra like a sculptor strikes a statue from stone. Spend 1 Chi as you make an attack to deal an additional 1d4 of damage on a hit. A target dealt additional damage this way must save vs CHA to attack living things until your next turn.

4. Boulder Becoming Pebble Method: The world will turn and the sun will rise on the day that you die, and you know this well. The universe you build today will continue after you are gone, and it thanks you for that work. Non-magical manufactured weapons that critically fail an attack roll against you shatter before they touch you, as their spirits rebel against their cause and join the side of love. By spending 1 Chi and touching a weapon, you may speak to it and convince it to become something else. Daggers become soup ladles, swords become umbrellas, spears become walking staves, halberds become a lantern-lighter’s pole. Non-magical manufactured weapons receive no save, and powerful magical items must be argued with to change, which often takes more than one round of discussion.

5. Stars Embrace the Mountains Grasp: Your compassion for those around you, enemy or no, radiates out of you like starlight, and to be too close to it melts hatred and fear like snow from a mountaintop in spring. At the end of each round you have an enemy grappled, roll 1d8. If you roll equal to or over that target’s current HP, they surrender and lay down their weapons. By spending 1 Chi, you may make a special grapple maneuver against a target. If it succeeds, you cannot harm your target and they cannot harm you for one full round. You may spend an additional Chi at the beginning of your turn to extend this effect for an additional round. 

6. Seven-Thousand-Stone Wall Strike: Like many bricks forming one wall, each thought of love alloys itself around your fist until it is shimmering with power. If you have not moved since the beginning of your last turn, your unarmed attacks deal an additional 1 damage. You may pay 1 Chi and make an unarmed attack to increase this damage to 1d4 and to send your target flying 5 feet back for each point of damage dealt.


Your love has grown heavier and heavier over the years, drawing in the universe around it by its gravity. It sits like a mountainheart in the center of your Chi and the world revolves around it. By spending 4 Chi, you manifest your love as an immense, 100 foot tall 250 metric ton warrior of stone that shimmers into being behind you. For as long as you concentrate on nothing but the absolute necessity of your actions, you weigh as much as the statue, the statue mimics your actions perfectly, and you cannot move from your location in the cosmos, though you may move the world in relation to you with ease , which to an observer may superficially resemble you walking. If two masters of the Granite Pillar style use this ultimate technique at the same time, they may cause enormous earthquakes and rips in the fabric of reality as the universal weight of their love tears existence like paper. - this seems crazy for 4 Chi... any amount you could get really... t. semiurge

Brothel School:
Smiling Courtesan Style

The body is not sacred.
It can be bought and sold.
The body is not whole.
It can be dismembered.
The body is meat,
and the body is holes
Holes that were there before my hand was,
and holes to be eaten by worms there.
Show me a child and I see a pork bun.
No more delectable than one made from any piglet,
and worth no more sold on the street.
Now go sell some holes.

Any student of the Smiling Courtesan style has perfect at-will contraception through immaculate internal muscle control.

1. Gentle Slaughter: You can make your unarmed sneak attacks painless. Your target will feel your touch, but they may not realize you've injured them. Those you've killed with Gentle Slaughter show no indication of what's killed them without an extensive autopsy. Spend 2 Chi each to attack additional targets within range with an unarmed sneak attack.

2. Flowing Silk Curtain: You get +4 to sneak attacks, sleight-of-hand (slipping poison into a drink, etc.) while dancing to music. Elaborate costumes and cosmetics don't count against your Chi limit.

3. Cactus Blossoms Drifting: If you're embracing someone else while falling, save to transfer any fall damage you might've taken to them. Spend Chi to get +2 to this save per point.

4. Rooting Out Weeds: If you get a critical hit with an unarmed attack against an enemy with genitals, you can choose to castrate them. This stuns the victim for a round, and them and anyone else who saw you do it must immediately check morale.

5. Mantis Consummation: Your stances are twice as effective against anyone who's attracted to you. You can make anyone you're having sex with save vs. death, and restore Chi points equal to their HD if you succeed in finishing them off Xenia Onatopp-style.

6. Viper Coiling Luxuriant: There's no risk of you poisoning yourself even if you do things like applying poisoned lipstick or poisoned nail polish. Penalize a target's save against poison on a 1-to-1 basis by spending Chi points. Carried poisons don't count against your Chi limit.

Ultimate Technique: Kneading Wet Clay
Take the corpse of someone you've killed, and mold it into a child of them and you, resembling and having the characteristics of any human or animal of up to 3 HD (at the cost of 2 Chi per HD). This child also possesses two exceptional characteristics, one chosen from you, and the other from your co-parent. This child obeys you as a naive child would a beloved parent. If you have more than one child in existence at once, they instinctively know this, and become possessed by murderous jealousy. This applies to children you have the normal way too.

Riverlands School:
Crane-And-Frog Style

Go down to the riverside.
Do not come back until:
You can move like water,
Catch the slipperiest eel,
Stalk among the reeds without bending them,
Swim like the cormorant,
Laze like the crocodile,
Have metamorphosed like the tadpole.
Many do not leave the riverside.
They are the true masters.

1. Yielding Reed: You are an expert contortionist. Also, spend Chi to extend your reach, 10 ft. per point - lasts one round for combat, or one 10-minute turn for less stressful exercises.

2. Water Splits Stone: Each unarmed strike from you against an enemy reduces their AC (or increases it if you're in the wetbrained la-la land of descending AC) or reduces any damage reduction they've got by one point (only for you and your unarmed strikes though). It might take ten years of continuous striking, but eventually you could even shatter indestructible adamant.

3. Frog Meditation: You can hold your breath for 10 minutes per point of constitution. Spend 1 Chi to share this ability with another for a day. If you strike a creature holding their breath with an unarmed attack, they immediately begin suffocating.

4. Twilight Phantom: While within mist or running water, you are as invisible as if you were in total darkness, and they do not obscure your sight. Spend 1 Chi to sweat out a 5ft. radius cloud of mist.

5. Dance Between Raindrops: Your defense bonus from a stance is doubled against ranged attacks.

6. Rising Salmon: Water currents have no pull on you that you don't wish them to. You are as buoyant as you choose to be. Spend 1 Chi to pull off crazy feats like swimming up a waterfall or floating up a shipwreck.

Ultimate Technique: Dragon God Mantra
Spend 4 Chi and a 10-minute turn reciting the mantra to summon up a torrential flooding rain in the surrounding hex.

Forge School:
Seven Devils Bound Style

All that is in the body of man can also be found in an ape.
Man is not the body of man.
Outside of the body of man is the world.
Man makes many works outside himself.
Man gives form to many devils, from out of his mouth, his eye, his hand.
Without man there would be no ignorance, no war.
Without man there would be no wisdom, no peace.
The world becomes a mirror of man.
This mirror does not reflect his body.
When man is rampant the world becomes a menagerie of devils.
A devil bound exquisitely in chains becomes an angel.
A man accompanied by a choir of angels is a god.
Bind your devils and ascend, o man.

1. Annealed Surface: Touching hot (though not molten) metal or coals cannot burn you. Spend 1 Chi to form a flame the size of a torch's from the friction of your skin, which you can then throw like a javelin.

2. Pin the Quavering Tongue: If someone has lied to you, your next attack against them automatically hits. If someone has broken an oath with you, your next attack against them is also a guaranteed critical. From now on you must spend 1 Chi to break your word, and it is very obvious when you lie.

3. Terror of Untamed Beasts: Stare into another's eyes and spend Chi to make them save or be frozen with fear for as many rounds as Chi you spent. If they're harmed they get another save. From now on you must spend 1 Chi to flee from a fight.

4. Reined Agony: Take 1d6 damage when making an attack to add twice that damage to your attack.

5. Exhortation of the Crownless King: Spend 1 Chi to collectively grant your followers a 4 point bonus on morale checks or saves vs. mental effects.

6. Spirit Stands Untarnished: Spend 1 Chi to hold the progression of a deleterious condition like starvation, a disease, a curse, etc. in stasis for a day.

Ultimate Technique: Evil One, You Dance In The Palm Of My Hand

Spend 2 points of Chi to negate the effect of any magic which affects you, and contain its effect within your fist. Transfer the effect to the next thing you punch.

Storm School:
Bolt From Heaven Style

Lightning is the weapon of the gods, and it strikes down the tallest trees.
Hear me, ye who stand tall among men:
I am the weapon of the gods.
If you had not offended them, they would not have sent me unto you.

1. Lightning Flash: Spend 1 Chi to act first in the initiative order for a round, or to move twice the distance you could sprint in a round in a heartbeat.

2. Branching Bolt: You can make extra unarmed attacks in a round at a cost of 1 Chi and a cumulative -2 to hit per extra attack.

3. Thunderclap Kiai: Spend 1 Chi to shout loudly enough to deafen everyone else within 30 ft., and be heard miles away.

4. Leap From Wool To Amber: If you're caught in the range of an explosion, splash of acid, or similar attack, spend 1 Chi to automatically succeed at your save to avoid or whatever and immediately move to the edge of its range.

5. Rushing Crash: If you hit an enemy after moving they take an extra point of damage for every 10 ft. you moved.

6. Ghost Killer: Your unarmed attacks can strike incorporeal enemies. Spend 3 Chi when you kill something to prevent it from rising again, being raised, or its spirit being called up.

Ultimate Technique: Earth-Shrinking Cloud Step
Spend 4 Chi to vault into the heavens, and soon after land safely anywhere under the sky. Familiarity with the landing zone is required to have any accuracy. Anyone you manage to land on does not share your safety.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Snail-Barons of the Brayreyt Peninsula

From Molochrome in the GLOG discord, for a blogswap:

A fie upon the Kedger King,
Encadg'd within an iron ring!
On sea-bed sleep, immortal foe,
May in your ears lay salmon roe!
Boil the baths with your rancid sting,
For now your wrath's a drownéd thing!
Toss the land in your fitful throe,
With anchors deep we'll slow your tow,
Until that day the waters teem
And all that lingers is a dream!
-Floatie-pub song

Break Apart, It'll Be Alright

That men would worship dragons should come as no surprise. That men who wish to be worshiped should desire to become dragons should not surprise either. To the Antidrakones this desire is called red dracolatry, and those who practice it (when it's safe enough to be insulting) are red dracolatrines.

The history of the Brayreyt peninsula more than a hundred years past is ashes - burned from land and memory by the rampage of the man-drake called the Kedger King, the greatest of all who slithered up the red way.

Not even its geology was left unscathed. The peninsula's heart is shattered and sunken, a vortex from the nightmares of mariners - this, the prison of its slumbering King. Its dead are buried with a long iron nail driven through their throat and spine, for it's said that to do otherwise would leave the ghost untethered, left to be drawn into that maelstrom and devoured. The same is true of the hundred isles the peninsula's been split into - they are not rooted to a continental floor, but rather drift through their cycles, drawing ever-closer to the vortex's swirling maw. This fatal fate is held at bay by tremendous chains, half-harpoon and half-anchor, driven into the body of the Kedger King - some in fact so large that tunnels have been bored through their links that one could wriggle great distances in great secrecy through - and by the rune-bossed tracks of the snail-barons' wagonforts.

Snail-baron wagonforts look a little something like this

They rolled in at some wiped-away time, those pompous and semidentary barons, claiming to have been instrumental in the Kedger King's defeat - and who could rightly gainsay them? In the peninsula's driftwood forests there are rascals and outlaws who accuse the snail-barons of having been the King's vassals, and now fill his vacuum of power, and in the floatie-pubs an illegal play depicts them as opportunistic scavengers swooping in on this waterlogged corpse of a land with a slimy pretense of nobility.

Whatever the truth of them may be, the snail-barons have made themselves inextricable from the politics and economy of the isles. It is the snail-barons who commission the construction of the great binding chains, and the snail-barons who levy the construction of the steaming canals and plumbing which draw boiling water from the peninsula's heart and channel it elsewhere, so that people might warm their homes and cook their food despite the land's scarcity of flammable fuel, and of the levees which maintain the little consistently dry land that Brayreyt can claim, against the constant floods of its churning waters. Baronies that rebel against their crawling command are denied the warm waters, and thus die from its deprivation, or are drenched in it, and thus burn.

Wagonforts are amphibious, equally capable of paddling through rough waters and across fresh mud-flats, and are built around the chassis of their master's own shell - which never stops growing throughout the snail-baron's life. The venerable matripatriarch (for snail-barons are hermaphroditic) of a snail-baron house might command a veritable dreadnought - though despite their power these titans of earth and sea are rare, for one of the few totally waterproof materials to work with on the peninsula is snail-baron shell, and the lesser members of their peerage both terribly resent the tyranny of its stronger members, and covet the nacreous wealth of a broken shell.

Come Water, Sweep Away The Planted Stakes

I came along to an oyster bed
And saw a man who under th'foam tread
Didn't wish to share snacks
Took a swing with my axe
Cut off feet when I aimed for his head!

Beneath the snail-barons are their butlers, the chain-smiths, shell-workers, porcelain-bakers, merchant-captains, and the kelp-troopers - raftborne bands of mercenary soldiers and reavers who wander with the currents of the isles and its petty inter-baronial wars.

Beneath these fighters, traders, and artisans are the humble steamers of kelp-pies, oil-slathered fishermen, pearl-divers, the itinerant labourers who raise dams and lower moats for wages of chewsome beer, the runners of bladder-wrapped letters, log-layers, bulb-cutters, lamp-wringers, and all the other teeming masses.

And beneath even these lowest parts of society are:

  • The clam'p'd, those who've suffered the decapitating bite of an enormous parasitic clam native to the peninsula, and struggle constantly against the steering molluscan drives of their bivalvic helmet.
  • The scaphinfilas, nefarious beetle-men specialized in the consumption and imitative replacement of snail-barons - a bogeyman to those lords, a stock figure in illegal plays (though no friend to common folk either) - the intrigues of the barons are rife with accusations of replacement by a scaphinfila
  • The cropshennards - lost souls of the war to bind the Kedger King - butchered and mutilated, yet keening deathless, walking upside-down on the underside of the water's surface, attempting to embrace those whose faces remind them of old friends and descending with them to depths unknown (in a better case) - pitifully dreadful.
  • The foulest of the foul, princes of the firesome crown, rumoured heirs to the King, nigh-unspeakable, and not least because there's as-yet no-one who could speak plainly of them.

Bite The Hook, Have An Adventure

-Though intensely poisonous to them, some snail-barons are still addicted to imported salt-drugs. If you can smuggle some through the derelict reaches of the chain-tunnels (while avoiding other criminals, cults of the Kedger King, large lairing water-snakes, and suchlike) you stand to addle some serious brass.

-A rebellion against the snail-barons is led by a maid bearing a magic sword, claiming it was granted to her by the knight who bested the Kedger King, dredged up from the darkened waters - a cropshennard plot?

-Being physically bound to their wagon forts, the snail-barons are reliant on heralds for open communication, and a system of disguised letter-runners and encrypted letters to communicate discreetly - if you could intercept one of these runners and forge their letter, whole domains could become your escargo.

-The dread pirate Groppensey is convinced that if he digs deep enough he'll find the buried treasures of the old and forgotten Brayreyt - and he seems to have discovered surviving ruins sunk in the silt. His last team he sent down never came back (possibly trapped by a mudslide), he's got no trustworthy people left he's willing to risk - so he's put out notice in underworld circles for the opportunity.

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

D100+ Medications of Yestermorrow

Any resemblance to real medications is purely incidental.

Press the button below to get medicated:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here:

Thursday, May 4, 2023

D6 Animatronic Selfmodificing Avantpop Martyrforms

A.I... Artificial Intelligence? More like, Artificial Imbecile!.. it's stupid folks.

Sometimes the machine spits out something good though:

that's from me trying to get the machine on the GLOG server to make something good. That was the only good part. But it is good. Anyways, here's six animatronic selfmodificing avantpop martyrforms (revenge frenzies sold separately):

1. Nono & Emzee: Like all animatronic selfmodificing avantpop martyrforms, the product of a Vatican Bank-BlackRock collaboration, loaded with simulations of top Swedish songwriters like Karl Martin Sandberg which can pump out algorithmically-maximixed hit tunes, and capable of limited self-repair and situational adaption.

Nono & Emzee is a mechatronic ferry made to look like a wooden ark carried atop the backs of two perpetually-smiling turtles (a husband & wife couple who would make reference to their many turtle-children, though these never ended up being manufactured). It was used to transport children enrolled in the seastead chartered schools anchored around the flooded New York City, and act as a platform for engagements with pirates and illegal climate migrants.

Nono & Emzee was sunk at Lexington and East 57th Street after being rammed by a motorized raft. Though it lost its buoyancy and mobility, the animatronic miraculously retained its ability to sing about the importance of wearing a life jacket, and can be heard gurgling up from the depths to this day.

2. Auggie Rawgy: Modeled after a lion-lamb-hybrid fursona wearing golden rosary-bling, programmed with the entire corpus of St. Augustine and other Catholic luminaries, and able to compose raps which communicate their ideas on a level comprehensible by children. This was a useful feature, as Auggie Rawgy was also programmed to kidnap truant children and place them into socially-necessary and productive service roles in participating fast food chains, meat processing plants, and sewer treatment facilities.

After several years policing the delinquents of Dallas, Auggie Rawgy was hacked and half-melted, made to see those carrying police or private security RFIDs as children, and the edges of buildings more than six storeys tall as child drop-off locations. It still rapped, but its racial slur limiter was removed. The modified Auggie Rawgy was shot to pieces in an Applebee's parking lot two weeks after its new appearance.

3. The Great Jimjam: Host of the charitable gameshow PilgrimPalz, wherein contestants competed in grueling yet faith-inspiring challenges to win prizes calibrated according to means testing. The Great Jimjam was mounted on treads embedded in its calves, so that it could appear to always be kneeling in prayer, and sang hymns set to the tune of game shows past, such as Jeopardy and Takeshi's Castle.

The Great JimJam was torn apart and eaten by a contestant in the 14th season of PilgrimPalz, who after winning a race up the steps to the Basilica of Sacré Coeur de Montmartre backwards and on his knees was informed that his prize money would be downgraded due to him living in a historically high average wealth zip code for three years a decade ago. The contestant died afterwards of a ruptured digestive tract.

4. Julie the Caesarbot: A vaporwave-inspired animatronic with hot pink laurel wreath-sunglasses. Julie was programmed to visit the homes of those who'd been tagged based on their online behaviour to be at risk of evading taxes or engaging in other anti-social thoughts and deeds, and convince them in an amicable manner to confess and repent.

Perhaps the shortest in operation of all the martyrforms, Julie had its head blown off by a 3D-printed shotgun on its third home visit. The culprit was never found.

5. Chally & D-Vash: A duo-animatronic like Nono & Emzee, modeled to look like a cartoonish bee (D-Vash) riding atop an equally-cartoonish cow (Chally). Their relationship was programmed to be a belligerent friendship with tasteful lesbian undertones. Musically, they would sing pop-punk duets, with Chally being the bouncy and cheerful counterpart to D-Vash's technogoth leaning.

Chally & D-Vash were tasked with preaching the health and environmental benefits of synthetic neo-foods like protein composites and So-oy™, as well as providing cost-deferred samples of these products in food deserts.

An error in the animatronics' navigation led them into a ditch full of agricultural waste, where they were stuck for a number of months while their creators were too busy with other concerns to bother getting it out. During this time D-Vash was able to cannibalize Chally for parts to selfmodifice and escape the ditch. However, certain chemical markers in the waste were close enough to the products it was meant to distribute for D-Vash to confuse them, and it was destroyed by an angry mob after giving out poisonous sludge to hungry children.

6. Lil Mary-Teresa: Lil Mary-Teresa was the matron of Primum Towers (a Vatican Bank-Blackrock social housing collaboration), which was routinely and incidentally exposed to various bioweapons deployed by deniable paramilitary organizations, and then fast-tracked for experimental treatments of the same.

Lil Mary-Teresa would patrol the Towers, singing ballads that exhorted listeners to respect science, theology, and the importance of avoiding contamination both physical and mental. She would also comfort those suffering from bioweapons or the side-effects of treatments by holding them to her modestly-covered yet appealingly-soft bosom, and dispensing moderately-addictive painkillers with a proprietary formula which ensured that its pangs of withdrawal couldn't be assuaged by any substitutes.

This animatronic is presumed incinerated along with Primum Towers and most of the rest of Montréal in the Sino-Indian nuclear exchange.

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Githyanki Godflesh Gobbets

Read this post: and was inspired.

A few takeaways:

I don't think it makes sense for githyanki society to be so blatantly evil and totalitarian - they can't even heal or mature naturally on the astral plane, going to be pretty difficult to maintain centralized control when your people need to go on rumspringa to patch up every little booboo, or reproduce - also, pirates, not historically known for unquestioning obedience to central authority.

The githyanki, at least in the more recent editions, live on the corpses of dead gods - they're probably going to be more skeptical of divinity (as it exists in d&d with physical gods you can hang out with) than most.

If I ever run githyanki they're gonna be like crews of One Piece pirates, fiercely independent and idiosyncratic, gobbets of godflesh taking the place of devil fruit in granting bizarre powers to those who eat them.

This post is meant to facilitate that last point. Here's some gobbets of godflesh that githyanki (or anyone else who gets their mitts on them) can eat for strange powers:

1. Ur-Pung-Grub Gobbet - Allows its eater to become an animated, artistic depiction of themself on a stone surface they're touching. They can slide across any stone in contact with that surface, and pop out wherever they can fit. Only an attack which damages the stone they're on will hurt them. Ur-Pung-Grub was the god of cave painting, slain by an elven upstart who wished to seize a greater share of the domain of art.

2. Toetur Gobbet - Allows its eater to indefinitely extend and retract their tongue, exert their full strength through it, and taste the precise material composition of whatever they lick. Toetur, the god of tastebuds, was once the food taster of the king of the gods, and found that there was a poison that could kill even the divine.

3. Gagooj Gobbet - Allows its eater to ignite their own blood, so long as it hasn't dried. Gagooj intended to create a different order of life than the one which ended up triumphing, and lost her head for it.

4. Scrabnin Gobbet - Allows its eater to carry inanimate objects in their own shadow. This is undetectable. Objects encumber as normal. This gobbet's a piece of a goblin god who couldn't hack it in their hardknock pantheon.

5. Xalrom Gobbet - Allows it eater to see through the eyes of anything they kill until those eyes begin to rot. Carved off the corpse of a god of death taken out of the competition for that coveted domain by the power couple of Wee Jas and Muckle Jezza.

6. Bonnetal Gobbet - Allows its eater to cause the seeds of poisonous plants to instantly mature to their full size by touching them. Bonnetal was killed for trying to collapse all seasons into a single moment.

7. Vekmerik Gobbet - Allows its eater to cause any spell they witness being cast to be miscast, however they suffer the consequences of this miscast equally with the caster. Vekmerik was a god of wild magic who died attempting to become something even greater than a god.

8. Zop Gobbet - Allows its eater to either ask a sleeping creature three questions (which must be answered truthfully & to the best of their knowledge) or give a three word command they must follow until waking (any serious jolt or risk of death wakes the creature up). Zop was offed for being too annoying about all the features he wanted added to sleep.

9. Rekhnaghahn Gobbet - Allows its eater to rapidly drink huge amounts of water then breath it out as fog. Rekhnaghahn was a sea monster that ascended to godhood, and was then put down by a hero who pursued it into the heavens.

10. Loliluleo Gobbet - In the hands of its eater feathers become as hard as metal and metal becomes as soft as feathers. Loliluleo was a bird-god ganged up on and slain by mammal-gods.

You can only eat one godflesh gobbet. Oh yeah, and anyone who eats a godflesh gobbet earns the enmity of all the gods (they really don't appreciate being anyone's lunch). After you've consumed one you can no longer benefit from divine magic, and after death your soul will be totally obliterated unless you're absorbed into Vlaakith or whoever else.