Thursday, October 25, 2018

D20x5 Bizarre Barbarian Bands

Converted from my reddit post here:

D20 This band is lead by...
1 The empty skin of a shaman, howling full of demon-winds. The shaman’s mournful former mentor always follows close behind, abjuring the band from the worst of the demons’ excesses.
2 A foreign mandarin kept in an iron cage. They obey his orders unquestioningly, except when he begs to be released.
3 A slumbering maiden who whispers prophecies. Her seven sisters are tasked with deciphering them.
4 A corpulent cannibal. They’ve devoured all who challenged their authority.
5 A golden idol carried by straining slaves. While the sun is at its zenith the idol hisses its commands.
6 A bronze sword gone green with age, perhaps the first of its kind. It speaks of bloody eons past and yet to come through the one who wields it.
7 A wanderer from another world, thick-thewed and heavy-hearted. Nothing they witness here could shake them from their path.
8 A jolly merchant far from the trade-roads. She plies the band with her dwindling stock of narcotics.
9 The child of a band-member and a nightgoing spirit. Not yet a year old and already fully grown, with a mouth full of needlepoint teeth. Demands that infants be left out in the dark as tribute to their unearthly parent.
10 A croaking, creaking crone who meditates atop a totem pole. From atop her perch she can see every hidden thing.
11 A living fossil that crackles with warped time. It hates the band as much as it hates everything else in the modern age.
12 A witch they’ve never seen. She delivers orders with swarms of mosquitos, and punishes disobedience with exsanguination.
13 The will left by the latest member who killed themself.
14 Whoever can shout the loudest when they gather for council.
15 A great slavering wolf. It swallowed their last chief whole, but he still speaks from within its belly. Look down its throat and maybe you’ll see him hanging onto its tongue for dear life.
16 Portents in the spilled guts of sacrificial victims. Sacrifices are thanked profusely for their contribution.
17 A fetus which grows but is never born. They seek ever-larger wombs to hold its bulk.
18 A being of fireless smoke. It wishes to burn the world to release its kin.
19 Tablets chiselled from the same huge sapphire, in a language forgotten by all others. The procedures encoded in it have carried them into and through countless catastrophes.
20 An intestinal wyrm puppeteering the body of their chief from the inside, doing a poor job of impersonating them. It wants to find water sources to lay its eggs in.
D20 This band fights...
1 Painted in poisons they’ve built up resistance to since the day they were born.
2 Alongside wicker war-golems.
3 Behind a carefully guided blaze of wildfire.
4 From beyond the horizon, with bows that require teams to draw.
5 Mounted on giant vultures. After battles they split the bodies of the fallen between themselves and their birds.
6 Wearing the skins of defeated enemies.
7 With mobs of crazed prisoners who now prefer death in battle to another moment at the mercy of their captors.
8 By burying themselves in a shallow layer of dirt and bursting out to ambush passers-by.
9 Clad in the gold-plated grave goods of someone else’s ancestors.
10 From beneath the elytra of a single enormous beetle. The equally enormous ball of dung the beetle pushes before itself has crushed many foes.
11 Without killing. Prestige among them is earned by bringing enemies as close to death as possible, but not pushing them over.
12 Atop carnivorous horses. Each rider is missing a chunk of flesh they fed to their mount to gain its trust.
13 In fits of stimulant-induced psychosis.
14 By swinging specially-bred dogs around on chains like living, snapping flails.
15 With termite mounds caked atop their hunched backs. The stinging insects swarm up the hafts of their weapons.
16 Bare-handed. Even their children are perfectly capable of tearing an armoured man apart with their teeth and nails.
17 By goading exotic beasts into doing most of the fighting for them.
18 By breaking and binding together their greatest warriors into a gestalt behemoth.
19 All tied together, in perfect sync. They never retreat and accept no surrender.
20 With comically long spears. Comic until you have to face the bristling, impenetrable mass of their battle-lines that is.
D20 This band worships...
1 A vast and bottomless pit. At the end of every season the band convenes at it to toss down the spoils and slaves they’ve captured since the last.
2 The stars. The band loathes the sun and moon for obscuring their light, and seeks the means to the celestial bodies’ destruction.
3 Blood. Not a god of blood, but blood itself. Spilling it fresh is their communion.
4 Sweetness and lies, for sweetness is a sort of lie that makes the harshness of the world bearable. They’re fantastic storytellers who prize honey over gold.
5 Sickness, whose fever-dream gospel they wish to spread to the whole world. Each member of the band bristles with pustules.
6 A god who is yet to be. They scour the earth for signs of His coming.
7 A just god, for they are a scourge of justice upon a sinful world.
8 Lightning and thunder. Each band member is born in a set of twins. Storms send them into an ecstatic fury.
9 Scars. They believe each scar is the flesh of a god that saved them from a wound that would’ve otherwise been fatal.
10 Nothing. They neither respect nor fear anything that does not belong to the band enough to worship it.
11 Music. The universe is a song, and love and war alike must be conducted to its tune.
12 Every other culture’s monsters and demons. Surely if others fear them so much they must be mighty enough to serve.
13 Their ancestors, whose mummies ride beside them, lashed to their mounts.
14 Disembodied spirits. They leave corpses with their throats torn out, so that those spirits might slip inside and enjoy fleshy existence for a time.
15 A distant prophet. They send a rider laden with gifts to the prophet every so often. The riders have yet to return.
16 Plants. They will never eat a plant, and take care not to tread too heavily upon them.
17 Their children, who they see as conduits of divine innocence. Grow up unbelievably spoiled, only to be humbled as they have children of their own.
18 A psychedelic strain of mold. Without regular doses of it they’ll enter a mindless rage.
19 Darkness, as it will one day be victorious in its battle against light, and must be made sure of who its allies are before then. The band sleeps during the day and moves at night.
20 Time, the peerless bringer of ruin.
D20 This band practices...
1 Exiling their children once they reach puberty. They are fully initiated into the band only if they survive to adulthood on their own.
2 Marriage and consummation with various natural features. They believe this wins them favour with the spirits.
3 Never calling another band-member by the same name twice.
4 Marking the edges of its territory with inverted trees.
5 Selectively breeding bats according to strange aesthetics.
6 Carving gigantic erotic pictographs into the landscape.
7 Encoding their life history into beaded belts.
8 A sport based on tossing a bloated dead fish.
9 Contests of pain-tolerance.
10 Guessing the date of the end of the world in order to delay it.
11 Sculpting their hair into dioramas with clay and oil.
12 Forcible adoption of strangers into the tribe.
13 Elaborate exercise routines at each sunrise.
14 Sleeping standing up, with their eyes open.
15 Tattooing themselves with the images of faces they’ve seen in dreams as an apotropaic.
16 Constructing cargo cult mimicries of more advanced technology and magic.
17 Using the pincers of burrowing crabs as a currency.
18 Donning frightening masks when they expect to meet people who aren’t part of their band.
19 An unmatched oral tradition of theoretical mathematics.
20 Developing highly personal dance forms. Imitation is seen as a grievous insult.
D20 This band lives...
1 In huge, carved-out gourds. Roll their gourd-homes along with them when they move.
2 In a cave. A really big cave.
3 In warrens tunnelled through the earth.
4 Nowhere. They only exist when actively engaged in some mission or another.
5 In a tower and its surrounding rubble. They never stop trying to build it up higher, and it never stops collapsing when it gets too high.
6 Out in the open. They believe shelter to be a decadent excess.
7 Within a fort they deconstruct each morning and reconstruct in another location each evening.
8 In expertly camouflaged mounds.
9 On the undersides of big woolly beasts, in hammocks woven from the fluff.
10 In a tent inside another tent inside another tent inside... you get the picture. The more prestige a member has in the band, the further in they live.
11 On lashed-together rafts. The thought of being on land when they sleep fills them with superstitious dread.
12 In a convoy of wagons.
13 Within the ear of the strongest band member, in a palace of wax. They shrink as needed to come and go.
14 Inside their own memory. They launch raids from museums and universities where their artifacts are studied.
15 In the brambles of a bush of black roses.
16 Hanging off a cliff-face with ropes and oversized pitons hammered into the rock.
17 Secretly, in a city’s sewer system, at perpetual war with albino alligator-men.
18 Parasitically, pretending to be members of larger bands.
19 In shelters of leaves stuck together with cobwebs.
20 In the hollow bones of a titanic bird’s skeleton.

D20x5 Atypical Taverns

Converted from my reddit post here:

D20 This Tavern’s Signature Drink...
1 Is a shot of high-proof liquor with a wriggling zombie toe in it. If you swallow the toe you have to find the tavern a new one.
2 Is fermented werewolf milk.
3 Is mixed with strong stimulants. Will keep you up for days.
4 Is the owner’s own homebrew. Any criticism makes them sullen and irritable. The brew itself is competent, but generic.
5 Is water. The tavern’s been taken over by teetotalers.
6 Is a fine imported wine.
7 Is made with local fruits.
8 Is a disgusting goop which might not even be alcoholic.
9 Is a knock-off of the divine mead of poetry. Drinkers find themselves compelled to rhyme.
10 Is a sickeningly sweet candy-flavoured liqueur garnished with spun sugar.
11 Is chewy.
12 Is lit with heatless fire when served.
13 Is shared between all present in a big bowl.
14 Was copied from a more popular tavern’s menu.
15 Is overhyped.
16 Was bottled with a family of drowned songbirds. You’ll see them in your dreams the next time you sleep after you drink it.
17 Will test the limits of your stomach and liver.
18 Is wept from a preserved eye kept behind the bar.
19 Is whatever they’ve got lying around, poured into an unwashed mug.
20 Will give you a temporary out-of-body experience. May contain traces of wraith.
D20 This Tavern’s Patrons...
1 Would all die to protect it.
2 Are rough working types fond of crudely humourous songs.
3 Dress like high society women, with varying degrees of accuracy. It’s an inside joke for the regulars.
4 Demand free drinks from newcomers.
5 Fight frequently, if lethargically.
6 Are mostly sailors with outlandish stories about their travels.
7 Are all upper-class layabouts slumming it, without realizing that every one else in the tavern is doing the same.
8 Will report suspicious behaviour to the proper authorities.
9 Belong to the same mystery cult. Strange, but harmless.
10 Critique the decor viciously.
11 Can’t handle their alcohol.
12 All look to be related to each other.
13 Share ownership in the bar.
14 Will do just about anything for a free drink.
15 Gamble constantly, over everything.
16 Are missing the last joint of their left pinky.
17 Bring their pets in with them.
18 Speak their own incomprehensible dialect.
19 Will cover your tab if you can’t.
20 Never actually seem to drink anything.
D20 This Tavern’s Decor...
1 Has a tacky nautical theme.
2 Looks like it’s all been broken, but that’s by design.
3 Clashes with itself in an eye-searing fashion.
4 Is based on military encampments.
5 Looks way too expensive for the place to afford.
6 Incorporates an obnoxious amount of dragon motifs.
7 Was based on an adventuring patron’s description of another plane of existence.
8 Is rustic, and mostly wood. Definitely a fire hazard.
9 Incorporates many taxidermied animals in ridiculous poses.
10 Uses avante-garde art pieces to questionable effect.
11 Makes unsettling use of images of eyes.
12 Has soaked up far too much alcohol and other fluids over the years, and stinks horribly.
13 Was built too small for adult-sized humans.
14 Was hand-built by the tavern’s proprietor.
15 Is delicate, and if you break it you have to buy it.
16 Is unusually dark, lit by only a few dull lanterns.
17 Uses elegant wrought iron.
18 Sparkles with fool’s gold.
19 Includes the mounted head of a minotaur. Might just be a cow’s head.
20 Can hardly be seen through the haze of incense.
D20 This Tavern’s Name...
1 Is painfully boring, like “The Full Mug”
2 Is from a foreign language, and left untranslated.
3 Seems normal in every way, except that your mouth dries out instantly every time you say it.
4 Spells out another name when read backwards.
5 Is printed on every cup in the place.
6 Is alliterative.
7 Won’t make sense until you hear the story behind it.
8 Is racially insensitive.
9 Is sexually vulgar.
10 Includes an onomatopoeia.
11 Is long and flowery.
12 Changes every week.
13 Includes the owner’s name.
14 Isn’t on any signs.
15 References an obscure philosophical theory.
16 Uses part of a magical incantation.
17 Sounds really aggressive.
18 Is complete gibberish.
19 Is unexpectedly poetic.
20 Is the same as a tavern in another place. Possibly a franchise, possibly plagiarism.
D20 This Tavern’s Dirty Secret Is...
1 It’s a meeting place for criminal groups.
2 The bartender is a doppelgänger. The real bartender is buried under the floorboards.
3 They water down their drinks.
4 They steal from the pockets of passed-out patrons.
5 It’s haunted.
6 It launders money for a cult.
7 It operates a fighting ring in its basement.
8 It was bought with ill-gained funds.
9 They deliver friendless sots to a fleshworker as experimental subjects.
10 It’s the personal project of a dipsomancer.
11 It employs a supernatural enforcer to collect on tabs.
12 An alchemist mixes their test potions into some of the drinks.
13 It’s built on top of ancient ruins.
14 It’s the lure of an extradimensional predator extruded into this reality.
15 Half the establishment exists on the other side of a magic mirror.
16 There’s something living inside the walls. The patrons think of it as a sort of mascot, but won’t speak of it to outsiders. Whatever it is, it likes fresh meat.
17 A heretical scholar carved their magnum opus into the bottom of one of the tables. Only a few patrons know of it, and it’s converted them to the scholar’s manner of thinking.
18 You’ve been there before, but don’t remember. All the patrons remember you though.
19 There’s no real alcohol in the place. All the bottles are filled with the blood of a beast kept chained up in the back. The difference is nigh-imperceptible.
20 It repeats the same night over and over again in a loop. Staying too long might entrap you in the loop as well.

D20x5 Pitiable Orphans/Cheap & Disposable Hirelings

Converted from my reddit post here:

D20 This Orphan Looks...
1 Puppy-eyed and chubby.
2 As off-putting as they smell.
3 Small for their age.
4 Adorably ugly.
5 Ruddy, dirty, and lacking in teeth.
6 Like every bone in their face has been broken at some point.
7 Uncannily like you when you were young.
8 Entirely stoic. They never seem to smile or sob.
9 Half-starved and heavily tattooed.
10 Twitchy and gangly.
11 Like they could pass for just about any ethnicity.
12 Tall, broad, and mean.
13 Like they’re always know something you don’t.
14 Like they just ran through a thorn bush.
15 Inbred to the point of deformity.
16 Completely hairless.
17 Sharp-featured, almost bird-like.
18 Like their hair was styled by an insane barber with nothing but contempt for them.
19 Round of body and face, yet with bony limbs.
20 Wan and androgynous.
D20 This Orphan’s Parents Died...
1 As a cult’s sacrifices.
2 Of old age.
3 Recently.
4 Because of a mistake the orphan made.
5 When the orphan was too young to remember them.
6 Mysteriously.
7 Of complications from alcoholism.
8 Being mauled by a bear.
9 Trampled by a carriage.
10 In a tremendous fire.
11 Leaving the orphan alone in their house for a week with their corpses and collection of near-feral cats before being found.
12 Wealthy, and left the orphan a sizeable inheritance that was stolen by an older relative.
13 As victims of a serial killer.
14 In an unlikely accident as tragic as it was hilarious.
15 Over a debt they owed to the wrong sort of people.
16 By drowning themselves and almost the orphan with them.
17 In a purge of political dissidents.
18 From a horrific disease.
19 As collateral damage in an assassination attempt.
20 At the orphan’s own hands.
D20 This Orphan Wants...
1 A full belly and somewhere dry to sleep.
2 To find the sibling they were separated from.
3 Revenge on an abusive caretaker.
4 To see a dragon in the flesh.
5 All the luxuries this world has to offer.
6 A stiff drink and a sharp knife.
7 The doll they always carry with them to be fixed up good as new.
8 People to fear them.
9 A fresh set of clothes.
10 To be supplied with drugs.
11 Every orphan to be adopted.
12 To be young forever.
13 To emulate someone they look up to.
14 To find out they’re secretly related to royalty.
15 To learn magic.
16 Their own gang.
17 To be treated like an adult.
18 All the candy they can eat before getting sick and then some.
19 A loving family.
20 A name and impressive title.
D20 This Orphan Is Good At...
1 Fist fighting. Getting into a scrap is how they deal with their emotions.
2 Squeezing into tight places.
3 Singing.
4 Lying.
5 Pickpocketing.
6 Eavesdropping.
7 Climbing.
8 Staying very quiet and very still.
9 Literacy.
10 Sling shooting.
11 Burning things.
12 Cheating at gambling games.
13 Running away.
14 Throwing insults.
15 Keeping an eye out for trouble.
16 Carrying more than they should be able to for their size.
17 Hiding objects on their person, or others’ persons.
18 Cleaning and doing laundry.
19 Appearing helpless and harmless.
20 Stopping wounds from bleeding with minimal supplies.
D20 This Orphan Is Bad At...
1 Extended physical exertion. They’ve got an incurable sickness that makes them cough up blood and won’t last to see adulthood.
2 Dealing with the dark. They’ve got a deep phobia of it.
3 Not crying out in their sleep.
4 Math.
5 Cooking, but takes great pride in the meals they make.
6 Doing anything but what they’re explicitly told to do.
7 Speaking clearly. Their tongue’s been half cut off.
8 Dealing with younger children. They hate them so.
9 Going more than five minutes without muttering obscenities.
10 Anything religious.
11 Resisting temptations.
12 Sharing.
13 Haggling.
14 Staying focused.
15 Behaving with good manners.
16 Not going places they shouldn’t.
17 Telling the whole truth even when it would benefit them.
18 Remembering things.
19 Keeping themself clean.
20 Not hoarding everything they can come into possession of.

D20x5 Dubious Drugs

Converted from my reddit post here:

Drugs are cool.

D20 This Drug Is Derived From...
1 The urine of horses that have licked deposits of a rare sort of salt.
2 The greyish-red amber of a now-extinct species of trees, dug out of the ground or found washed up on certain beaches.
3 A failed attempt at alchemically transmuting gold.
4 Carnivorous slime mold scraped off cave ceilings.
5 The yolk of a songbird’s egg that’s been fertilized by a fish and incubated by a serpent. Incubating serpents often need to be muzzled so they don’t eat the egg.
6 Slag produced from smelting magical alloys.
7 The crushed stamens of a night-blooming flower which grows from the ears of sleeping mammals.
8 The webs of a fatally venomous spider. Its webs contain a recreationally lower dose of its venom.
9 Juices wrung from the brains of elves.
10 Aromatic woods burnt by dragonfire, platonic flames, or something of a similar heat.
11 A hideous shade of green refracted through blasphemous crystals.
12 Unknown pigments scraped from a prolific, maverick painter’s works.
13 Exquisitely complex fractal patterns. The more layers the fractals repeat through, the more potent the resulting drug.
14 Ghoul bile.
15 Tea steeped from the needles of evergreens from the uttermost north of the world.
16 Pus from the pustules that sprout on sufferers of an uncommon affliction.
17 Mist filtered off a pond host to particular starlight-eating worms.
18 Seeds of berries crossbred with infernal varieties.
19 The roasted spores of a truffle that can only be found by the truly paranoid.
20 Rootworked solutions that must be cooked for months under a pile of decomposing guano.
D20 This Drug Is Most Effective When Taken By...
1 Mixing it into gum and chewing it.
2 Packing it into your ear canal.
3 Dripping it in your eyeballs.
4 Suppository.
5 Insufflation, like getting a buddy to blow it up a pipe and into your nasal cavity.
6 Grinding it into splinters and sticking it under your skin.
7 Boiling it in vinegar and inhaling the fumes.
8 Applying it to your nail beds, most often with needles.
9 Sprinkling it on food like spice. Downsides of drug are much more intense if taken on an empty stomach.
10 Working it into a poultice and absorbing it through the skin.
11 Spreading it onto your lips and eyelids like makeup.
12 Pressing it into paper then rolling and smoking that paper.
13 Baking it into bread and eating the bread.
14 Injecting it into the underside of your tongue.
15 Dripping it into a trepanation-hole drilled right through to your brain.
16 Rubbing it onto a fresh bruise.
17 Cutting a slit in the bottom of your belly-button and stuffing it with the drug.
18 Smoking it through long pipes, as the drug combusts hot enough to burn the lips and lungs if too close.
19 Dissolving it into a bath then soaking in it.
20 Steady intravenous drip.
D20 When You Take This Drug...
1 Every muscle you’ve got tenses like the onset of dengue fever. Teeth grind like continents. Your body feels as though it’s tearing itself apart, could tear apart the world. You automatically succeed at the next feat of strength you attempt if it’s vaguely within the realm of human achievement.
2 The crown of your skull feels as though it’s blossoming to the universe. Impossible ideas-like-bees buzz about and dance across the folds of your brain. While under the drug’s effects you cast spells as though you’re a higher level. If you can’t cast spells you gain the ability to cast a random spell.
3 Your irises bleed through with golden light. Perfect satisfaction seems just within reach. Things of monetary value begin to glow in your vision, even through chests and walls, while cheap things appear offensively ugly.
4 Lightning jolts rush up and down your fingers and every nerve. Every second stretches like chewed taffy. There is no movement so precise that you may not now perform it.
5 Easy, leaden numbness settles in your flesh. You become a stoic mountain, able to endure anything with inert amusement. You suffer no penalties, for pain, hunger, sleep deprivation, etc., while under the drug’s influence.
6 Veins throb and nerves burst with sensational sparks. Anything that feels good feels ten times better. Anything that feels bad kind of feels good at the same time. You gain the energy and the urge (though not the friction-resistance) to fuck for days.
7 Awareness falls away. The end of your body and the end of the earth become coterminous, simultaneous. For a slice of a heartbeat, eternity is you. When you come back to, you’ve beheld one piece of information, not necessarily one you knew you wanted, but one that will turn out to be useful.
8 Parallel possibilities flow flood-like fast in your mind’s eye. Countless deadly decisions are made, appreciated with phantasmic sadomasochism. While on the drug you’re primed to detect dangers that you’d have no way of knowing about sober. Ambushes, hidden traps, cursed objects, and the like are felt in imagined fatalities before they can catch your real self.
9 Tendons twitch in time to staccato celestial music, always building up to but never reaching an apocalyptic crescendo. You can move with blinding, clumsy speed. The first time you die on the drug you rush back to screaming life.
10 Your world creases into itself like solipsistic origami. Sight becomes introspection, your self reflected back and forth across a million facets. No outside influence can touch your mind while you’re affected, not magic, or psychic blasts, or mundane intimidation.
11 You feel like time-lapse forest soil. Roots and worms and hyphae wiggle down through your bones. All that you are dies, is born again in countless refreshing cycles. You gain a lingering regenerative ability while under its influence.
12 Sweat beads cool and dew-like, pores shudder, moan faintly across your skin. An intense body-high like being flayed without the pain, or melting into the air. You gain a touch attack that (1d6: 1, burns/ignites; 2, corrodes; 3, puts to sleep; 4, paralyzes; 5, tickles to incapacitation; 6, petrifies) for the rest of the trip. Touch attack affects everything organic you come into contact with.
13 Spit, phlegm, and spew dribble from your mouth like an oozing cornucopia. Theirs and everything else’s taste becomes distractingly intense yet with fulsome bands of nuance. Your stomach clenches itself into a crucible. Some crumbs and muddy water could sustain you as a day’s rations, and potions (and poisons) can take full effect with only a sip.
14 Angles and edges begin to lean at contradictory perspectives. Your sensory homunculus roils with swelling gout, making the backs of your knees or wherever else feel as big and important as your fingertips. While on the drug you become (1d4: 1, larger; 2, smaller; 3, elastic; 4, harmlessly inside-out).
15 Reality and imagination blur at the edges. You interact with illusions as though they’re real, and with an exertion of will can treat a real thing as though it were an illusion.
16 Thinking and memory become like carving stone where before it was grasping vapour. Recall is perfect, learning is rapid, baroque schemes can be crafted and held in the mind.
17 Body and mind crack cathartically. Limiting beliefs seem to shatter. So do your bones. They push up through your skin, making armour and barbed weapons, sinking back and reassembling when the dose wears off.
18 You are oil floating immiscible on the stream of time. Tragedy becomes comedy with this newfound perspective. Even after the drug wears off, your lifespan has been extended.
19 Flaws melt away, features mold to primordial ratios, bliss sweetens the space behind your eyes. You become beautiful to everything, able to charm with the right pose and words.
20 Your blood feels as though it’s champagne-bubbling. Everything is buoyant, buoyed by everything else, troubles lie massless on your shoulders. You can carry much more without being encumbered, fall too slow to be hurt, and leap wuxia distances.
D20 This Drug’s Downside Is...
1 It’s incredibly addictive. Even one dose is enough to induce withdrawal if you don’t keep it up.
2 Each use induces cumulative mutations. Subtle at first, unmistakable in long-time users.
3 It’s toxic. “Safe” doses only minimize the chance that it’ll kill you. Some damage is inevitable.
4 Your judgement is significantly impaired while on it.
5 That by obscure legal tradition, possession of it is punishable by being made to fight to the death with others convicted of the same crime.
6 It builds up in the tissues. Long-time users can smell it in each other, and feel tempted to devour the narcotic flesh.
7 It might animate one of your organs and cause it to slither out your mouth while you’re unconscious.
8 It’ll turn you into a demented ghost when you die.
9 Thoughts randomly transmit between yourself and other users who’re on it.
10 Using it risks converting some section of your body into more of it.
11 You’re harassed by lingering hallucinations after you take it. The hallucinations become more real the more you take the drug.
12 It wears away at memories you made while not on the drug.
13 It induces lasting insomnia.
14 It can react violently if mixed in the body with other drugs, potions, enchantments, and suchlike.
15 Using it attracts the attention of airy alien spirits.
16 It requires larger, more expensive doses each time.
17 It’s cursed with a multi-level-marketing scheme that will compel you to buy more and sell it to others.
18 Dosage of it is a sensitive thing, and disabling overdoses are a severe risk if you don’t take the time to cross-reference all the factors involved.
19 It induces crippling nausea while on it. Keep a bucket handy.
20 It fucks up your everything with repeated use. Teeth, skin, eyes, genitals, etc.
D20 This Drug Is Most Popular Among...
1 Young nobles without a care in the world.
2 Ecstatic zealots seeking enlightenment.
3 Overworked labourers after a long day.
4 Artists chasing inspiration.
5 Students of the arcane arts.
6 Long-lived gladiators.
7 Hunters of rare beasts.
8 Sacred prostitutes, holy whores, hierodules.
9 Wealthy gentleman-farmers.
10 Widely-traveled merchants.
11 The wives and husbands of warriors occupied in foreign wars.
12 Orphans raised in state institutions.
13 An inbred and extensive aristocratic clan.
14 Bandits, brigands, and other violent criminal types.
15 Fiery rebels and political deviants.
16 Burnouts who look much older than they are.
17 Crusty sailors.
18 Middling craftsmen.
19 The hopelessly destitute.
20 The inhuman and those touched by the same.

D20x5 Darkling Dungeons

Converted from my reddit post here:

Whomst amongst us has not been stumped for ideas for a dungeon beforeth? Never fear, for this list is here.

D20 This Dungeon Was Originally...
1 A dwarven colony-mine, until they unearthed something so wonderful it tempted them away from the surface forever.
2 The temple to a placid deity. Over time that deity fell out of favour among the people, and its temple was abandoned to the ravages of time.
3 The hideout and tunnels of a gang of smugglers. The smugglers were hunted down and hanged to the last man some time ago, and their hideout was all but forgotten by lawful folk.
4 A prison for sensitive political captives. It was written off after a violent escape attempt escalated to the murder of all the guards.
5 The sprawling mausoleum of an old noble family. A squabble between siblings saw the mausoleum desecrated, and it was sealed to prevent the return of their vengeful ancestors.
6 A giant tree. It was felled to feed civilization’s hunger for lumber. Rot and worms have eaten warrens into its roots and stump.
7 A castle built on murky foundations. It’s now half-sunk into the muck and the bizarre structures that laid in the muck.
8 The barrow-mound complex of an ancient mass sacrifice.
9 A sewer system. The city Is was made for is now gone, but the sewer remains.
10 The buried mechanisms of some great enigmatic machine.
11 A natural cave system.
12 An unnatural cave system.
13 The gauntlet of ritual tests of a mystery cult.
14 The petrified body of a burrowing beast.
15 A crashed flying craft from somewhere that’s not here.
16 The inverted tower of a witch, built to observe the “dark astrology” of theoretical stars deep beneath the surface.
17 A trash midden that outlasted the cultures which used it.
18 The zoo of an underworld emperor.
19 The passage of a sapient slime dissolving its way through the earth to its promised land.
20 A maze made by a lost people.
D20 But Now It’s Used...
1 As the breeding ground for new and terrible strains of fungi by a clandestine biowarfare project.
2 To host a festival for fairies, wherein they kidnap interesting mortals and make them dance/fight/write endless treatises on the impermanence of soap/etc.
3 For the debauched gatherings of a demonic cult.
4 As the home base of a bandit clan. Their leader nurses an unwholesome secret.
5 For a meeting place between a government in exile and the chthonic civilization they’re petitioning for support in a counter-coup.
6 As the monastery-manufactory of a rogue theologian and their heterodox order of knights. They’re trying to make sinless humans, as well as artificial angels.
7 As the lair of a dragon and its sycophantic clutch of lesser reptilians.
8 As shelter by a malformed race of artificial warriors.
9 By an unhinged wizard who set up an experiment to refract themself across parallel times and spaces throughout the dungeon.
10 As the site of a monstrous lek.
11 As an asylum for victims of a mutagenic disease.
12 By a sociopathic scholar to contain cruel sociological studies.
13 As a cyst of unreality by incomprehensible creatures from outside the universe.
14 As a crèche for insectoid things metamorphosing into their divergent adult forms and their parasitically-controlled nurses.
15 As the court of a madman who thinks himself a king, and his eccentric, often inhuman bunch of gentry.
16 As the eruption point of a band of volcanic beings and their alien ecosystem.
17 As a literally and figuratively underground exotic fighting arena by the fabulously wealthy.
18 By a cartel cultivating fantastic drugs. The sources of the drugs are monsters in their own right, and/or the drugs make monsters.
19 As the deathbed of a runt of a primordial titan. As it falls apart from a wasting sickness, its fallen pieces become new dungeon features. New races of monster and mortal are spawned from the vermin fattened on its flesh.
20 As the home of a lonely lich who never quite manages to find or make satisfactory companions.
D20 This Dungeon’s Design...
1 Is radial. A central hub with several spokes branching off from it.
2 Is modular. The layout of one section could be extrapolated to others.
3 Is vaguely pictographic.
4 Is partially flooded, with water or something else.
5 Curls back upon itself.
6 Contains many secret chambers and passages.
7 Seems to change when you look away.
8 Incorporates spaces fit for large gatherings, or large battles.
9 Has been altered to nigh-unrecognizability by its new inhabitants.
10 Intentionally or not contains several excellent spots for ambushes.
11 Doesn’t seem conducive to human use.
12 Veers wildly between architectural/geological styles.
13 Is helpfully and/or misleadingly described by graffiti on its walls. Graffiti may not be in language you understand.
14 Spirals down and in from its main entrance.
15 Is said to have been mapped by an explorer who died recently, under mysterious circumstances.
16 Is surprisingly simple.
17 Enables easy passage between its various sections.
18 Links somewhere to an even larger dungeon, which may or may not be related to its origin or current usage.
19 Makes it easy to get lost in.
20 Is compact and cramped.
D20 Dungeon Complications:
1 A rival adventuring party is hot on your heels
2 There’s a portal to another world in the dungeon’s depths, which even its inhabitants fear.
3 Another adventuring party got here before you. Now they’re all either dead, mad, or gone native.
4 The land it’s on is technically owned by some skeevy noble, who will attempt to take a cut of the treasure.
5 Haunted by the ghosts of its original inhabitants.
6 It’s under siege by a mercenary force.
7 The dungeon’s unstable. Explosions and other shocks will cause sections to collapse.
8 The entire dungeon is an elaborate omni-sensory hallucination projected into the minds of those nearby by a crystalline cognito-hazardous lifeform.
9 Some of the treasure within is not what it seems, for better or for worse. Probably worse.
10 The dungeon’s current inhabitants are getting ready to evacuate due to a disaster they’ve precipitated within it.
11 The dungeon’s current inhabitants have disguised themselves as something else.
12 Some scouts sent out from the dungeon return right as you’re leaving.
13 The dungeon’s inhabitants are aligned with a larger faction, who won’t take kindly to your delving.
14 Something is growing beneath the dungeon. Blood spilled within will feed it, maybe even rouse it.
15 Temporal faults in it lead back and forth from the time it was originally used to the present.
16 It’s in an especially hard-to-reach location.
17 A terrified merchant is hiding somewhere within. The rest of their caravan was slaughtered while they were charting a new trade route that led them near the dungeon. A source of goods, if you can find them, and a staunch ally if returned to civilization unharmed.
18 The inhabitants know you’re coming.
19 The entrance you use collapses after your enter the dungeon.
20 The dungeon’s inhabitants are riven between several feuding factions.
D20 Treasures Rumoured To Be In The Dungeon Include...
1 An automatic maestro. All of the talent and none of the licentiousness of a real bard.
2 A lineage ledger which proves the claim of a significant noble house to be false.
3 A previously unknown philosophical work by an acclaimed, long-dead thinker.
4 An egg of a monster which will imprint on the first person it sees after it hatches as its master.
5 The dowry-gold of a mythic queen. Brings ruin to the receiver when given as a gift.
6 A gem which glows brighter and hotter the deeper underground it is.
7 The knucklebones of an oracle. Can be cast to glean vague hints of the near future.
8 A hose and backpack-tank full of sovereign glue. Can spray accurately up to 30 feet, inaccurately about twice as far.
9 An intelligent magical sword that wants to destroy all other swords so it can ascend as the Platonic example of its kind.
10 A grimoire/cookbook which once belonged to the feast-witch Grimalka. Holds recipes for magical meals.
11 A fragment of a larger artifact, containing a fraction of its power. While you hold it you can sense the other fragments out there, and their holders can sense you.
12 A fine porcelain jar full of peach-of-immortality jam. A single spoonful could extend its eater’s life by decades. Reacts explosively with the undead and the impure.
13 A spool of rope that can extend indefinitely and be taught to do tricks and tie itself in knots.
14 A coffer full of mummified hands that act like landmines. If someone walks over one while it’s buried, the hand will drag them under, potentially entombing them alive.
15 A djinn imprisoned in an iron flask.
16 A cask of perfectly aged dragon’s blood. Drinkers are granted the ability to speak to animals and peerless talent in poetry while they’re intoxicated by it.
17 A crystal brazier burning with rustfire, which consumes metal rather than conventional flammables.
18 The ashes of a martyr, supposedly able to force forgiveness for any crime or insult if eaten.
19 A stick of incense, the abundant smoke of which can be shaped into solid objects by the focused thought of its bearer while it burns down.
20 A combined globe and orrery, not completely accurate, but close enough that it may reveal some places and features unknown to others.