D20x5 Wacky Wands

Converted from my reddit post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/9qfkgl/d20x5_wacky_wands/

Wands, I don't like: Regular spell dispensers.

Wands, I do like: Spell dispensers that incorporate "wandness" somehow. Draw a line in the air and then a buzzsaw spins in the air from one end of the line to the other. Wave it in time like a conductor's baton. Even something as simple as where the wand is pointed. Wrestle with the wizard so they can't blast you in the face with a screaming skull-blast. Yes.

That kind of goes for other magic objects too. Flaming sword? Nah. Sword that leaves cuts that bleed lava from whatever they're cut into? OK.

How do you recharge these wands? How many charges do they have? That is beyond the scope of this post. I'm sure there's other random generators for that. Maybe you can even make it up as you go.

D20	This Wand Looks Like...
1	A miniature model of a minaret.
2	A porcelain sewing needle with throbbing blue veins.
3	A tower of petrified butterflies.
4	A thoroughly charred stake covered in incandescent runes.
5	The devil’s crack pipe.
6	A giant, cavity-riddled snake’s fang.
7	A mummified forearm and hand with an outstretched index finger.
8	The baculum of a whale with bone cancer.
9	A peacock’s tail feather lacquered with amber.
10	A morning star made for a deranged child.
11	A coil of gold and silver that thrums electrically.
12	A stick someone picked off the ground, still crusted with dirt.
13	A macro-scale bacteriophage cast from colourful glass.
14	The barrel of a gun made by someone who’s only had guns poorly described to them.
15	An unmelting icicle with drops of blood frozen within.
16	An ebony branch carved with countless tiny screaming faces.
17	A prayer wheel, only far longer than it is wide.
18	A heavy bar of rusted iron.
19	Three clay rods of yellow, red, and black that float detached a little ways from each other.
20	A ghostly flower in eternal bloom.

D20	This Wand Can...
1	Produce a stream of highly flammable, delicately shimmering oil with all the delicacy of a firehose.
2	Lock an inanimate object no larger than a 10x10x10 cube in place for as long as the wand is pointed at it.
3	Shoot big venomous centipedes that vaguely resemble the wand itself out its tip.
4	Puppet the body part of a living thing or corpse it’s pointed at.
5	Emit an invisible cutting beam.
6	Suck things it’s pointed at into a pocket dimension, or expel sucked up things from the same.
7	Swap the positions of any two objects of no more than one 10x10x10 cube in size each by pointing at them in turn.
8	Conjure a ball of lightning connected to its tip by a crackling bolt of the same, which the wielder can then swing like a flail or toss like a bola.
9	Trace glowing lines in the air that the wielder can will to solidify into razor-sharp crystal. Lines drawn into closed shapes will solidify into those shapes rather than the framework they form.
10	Emit rays of mutagenic viridiance.
11	Open a temporary tunnel through any material it’s pointed at. Creatures so be-holed are unharmed but likely disoriented.
12	Spawn a hideous fetal monster connected to the wand’s tip by an umbilical cord. So long as the cord is attached the wielder can mentally control the monster. Severing the cord sends the monster into an uncontrollable berserker rage during which it swiftly shrivels up and dies.
13	Spray a cloud of flying leeches which follow where the wand is pointed, and can be commanded to return with the blood they’ve stolen to heal the wielder.
14	Accelerate any target it’s pointed at along their current vector.
15	Produce a cloud of poisonous vapour that becomes heavier and more potent over time.
16	Extend a length of chain from its tip that the wand’s wielder can animate.
17	Shoot a bead that embeds itself in the first surface it strikes. Thereafter the wielder can sense the position of the bead and teleport whatever it’s embedded in to their own position, but this second option destroys the bead in the process.
18	Project a cone with the pointy end at the wand’s tip, within which there is hard vacuum and zero gravity.
19	Cause tentacular webbing to sprout out from where it’s pointed.
20	Transform anything its tip is pressed to into a bolt which it then fires. Midway through its flight the bolt transforms back into what it was.

D20	This Wand’s Charges...
1	Are displayed by little purple flames that hover along the wand’s length. With each charge used up, a flame is extinguished.
2	Are tied to the cycles of the moon. It’s got more charges when the moon’s fuller.
3	Are reflected in the wand’s physical condition. It will become more damaged as its charges run out, and likewise damage to the wand will deplete its charges.
4	Are drained by exposure to water.
5	Increase the deeper underground it is.
6	Are drawn from the blood of its wielder. Recharging it wounds them.
7	Are drawn from its wielder’s remaining lifespan. Recharging it ages them.
8	Can be heard by its wielder as a chorus of voices. Each charge spent is a voice in the chorus silenced.
9	Are spent in an amount of 1d3-1 with each use.
10	Cause nearby plantlife to wither when they’re spent.
11	Will spend themselves to protect the wand against thieves.
12	Increase by one for each year the wand is held by a living wielder. This increase resets when the wand changes hands, even if the wand is later returned to the same wielder.
13	Can be recharged by a handful of different methods, each of which lends a twist to uses of the wand powered by their charges.
14	Cause it to shine in spectrums not visible to the human eye.
15	Can also be spent to temporarily animate the wand and let it float independently to act on its wielder’s will.
16	Are not necessarily expended when the wand is used. Rather, the charge can be expended when the wand is used to prevent the risk of horrible side-effects.
17	Can be expended all at once while the wand is at full capacity for a majorly boosted version of its power.
18	Number as many as the number of intelligent living creatures you’ve killed at the moment you first touch the wand.
19	Attract vermin with a strength proportional to how many are left in the wand.
20	Are represented by the wand’s stiffness. The lower its charges, the floppier the wand becomes.

D20	When This Wand’s Charges Run Out...
1	It explodes with severity proportional to how many charges it started out with.
2	They can be replenished by one for each person it kills.
3	It unravels into a scroll which holds a spell based on its effect. The wand cannot be reconstituted.
4	It curses its wielder to be transformed into a frog, then recharges itself.
5	It enters an overdrive mode wherein it can be used without charges for 1d10 turns, then crumbles to dust.
6	It summons a demon with power proportionate to its max charges who seeks to repossess it. If the demon can be thwarted for one 10 minute turn from taking the wand, its charges are restored.
7	It gains the ability to vampirically steal charges from other wands it’s touched to.
8	It can be planted tip-up in the ground to permanently transform it into a tower that resembles its wand form.
9	It starts to emit a hissing keen that attracts monsters.
10	It tries to fly away to the place it was made until its charges are restored.
11	All the changes it made to the world are undone.
12	It fuses to its wielder’s hand and must be cut away.
13	It suddenly becomes much heavier.
14	It and its wielder lose their colour and become greyscale until it’s recharged.
15	It won’t function for the wielder who spent its last charge again.
16	It fills its user with an insatiable hunger until it’s recharged.
17	It sprouts eyes that weep toxic sludge until it’s recharged.
18	It can only be recharged by one of its maker’s descendants. 1% chance that you are one of those descendants.
19	It teleports to a random nearby location.
20	It melts into a pile of goop, and every glob must be collected to recharge and reconstitute it.

D20	Another Feature Of This Wand Is...
1	Its wielder can turn it into a magic sword and back.
2	It’s haunted by the ghost of its maker.
3	If used to stir a potion that potion takes on some aspect of the wand’s power.
4	If used to channel a spell that spell takes on some aspect of the wand’s power.
5	It’s recognized and feared by a certain class of monsters.
6	It’s coveted by a certain order of wizards.
7	It can be used as a dowsing rod towards powerful magic.
8	If snapped in half it will release the angel trapped inside to power it. The angel will be quite grateful, but also have centuries of business to attend to.
9	It can be commanded to slither around like a snake.
10	It can be hidden by sinking into the flesh of its wielder’s forearm.
11	Whenever your soul leaves your body you can carry the wand with you in spirit-form.
12	It was made as one of a pair. The wielders of both wands are destined to do battle against each other.
13	It’s got a jealous personality and refuses to function properly if its wielder uses another weapon.
14	Its power has a secret special use.
15	Its power is mutating from exposure to eldritch currents. It will gradually change from what it is now to something else.
16	It is a key control piece of a larger and more powerful magic object.
17	It’s more valuable as raw materials than as a complete wand.
18	It’s an extruded limb of an extradimensional creature, still attached through imperceptible spatial folds.
19	It was sworn to a certain deity and malfunctions if used against that deity’s design.
20	It can be used as an esoteric musical instrument.