Is a shot of high-proof liquor with a wriggling zombie toe in it. If you swallow the toe you have to find the tavern a new one.
2
Is fermented werewolf milk.
3
Is mixed with strong stimulants. Will keep you up for days.
4
Is the owner’s own homebrew. Any criticism makes them sullen and irritable. The brew itself is competent, but generic.
5
Is water. The tavern’s been taken over by teetotalers.
6
Is a fine imported wine.
7
Is made with local fruits.
8
Is a disgusting goop which might not even be alcoholic.
9
Is a knock-off of the divine mead of poetry. Drinkers find themselves compelled to rhyme.
10
Is a sickeningly sweet candy-flavoured liqueur garnished with spun sugar.
11
Is chewy.
12
Is lit with heatless fire when served.
13
Is shared between all present in a big bowl.
14
Was copied from a more popular tavern’s menu.
15
Is overhyped.
16
Was bottled with a family of drowned songbirds. You’ll see them in your dreams the next time you sleep after you drink it.
17
Will test the limits of your stomach and liver.
18
Is wept from a preserved eye kept behind the bar.
19
Is whatever they’ve got lying around, poured into an unwashed mug.
20
Will give you a temporary out-of-body experience. May contain traces of wraith.
D20
This Tavern’s Patrons...
1
Would all die to protect it.
2
Are rough working types fond of crudely humourous songs.
3
Dress like high society women, with varying degrees of accuracy. It’s an inside joke for the regulars.
4
Demand free drinks from newcomers.
5
Fight frequently, if lethargically.
6
Are mostly sailors with outlandish stories about their travels.
7
Are all upper-class layabouts slumming it, without realizing that every one else in the tavern is doing the same.
8
Will report suspicious behaviour to the proper authorities.
9
Belong to the same mystery cult. Strange, but harmless.
10
Critique the decor viciously.
11
Can’t handle their alcohol.
12
All look to be related to each other.
13
Share ownership in the bar.
14
Will do just about anything for a free drink.
15
Gamble constantly, over everything.
16
Are missing the last joint of their left pinky.
17
Bring their pets in with them.
18
Speak their own incomprehensible dialect.
19
Will cover your tab if you can’t.
20
Never actually seem to drink anything.
D20
This Tavern’s Decor...
1
Has a tacky nautical theme.
2
Looks like it’s all been broken, but that’s by design.
3
Clashes with itself in an eye-searing fashion.
4
Is based on military encampments.
5
Looks way too expensive for the place to afford.
6
Incorporates an obnoxious amount of dragon motifs.
7
Was based on an adventuring patron’s description of another plane of existence.
8
Is rustic, and mostly wood. Definitely a fire hazard.
9
Incorporates many taxidermied animals in ridiculous poses.
10
Uses avante-garde art pieces to questionable effect.
11
Makes unsettling use of images of eyes.
12
Has soaked up far too much alcohol and other fluids over the years, and stinks horribly.
13
Was built too small for adult-sized humans.
14
Was hand-built by the tavern’s proprietor.
15
Is delicate, and if you break it you have to buy it.
16
Is unusually dark, lit by only a few dull lanterns.
17
Uses elegant wrought iron.
18
Sparkles with fool’s gold.
19
Includes the mounted head of a minotaur. Might just be a cow’s head.
20
Can hardly be seen through the haze of incense.
D20
This Tavern’s Name...
1
Is painfully boring, like “The Full Mug”
2
Is from a foreign language, and left untranslated.
3
Seems normal in every way, except that your mouth dries out instantly every time you say it.
4
Spells out another name when read backwards.
5
Is printed on every cup in the place.
6
Is alliterative.
7
Won’t make sense until you hear the story behind it.
8
Is racially insensitive.
9
Is sexually vulgar.
10
Includes an onomatopoeia.
11
Is long and flowery.
12
Changes every week.
13
Includes the owner’s name.
14
Isn’t on any signs.
15
References an obscure philosophical theory.
16
Uses part of a magical incantation.
17
Sounds really aggressive.
18
Is complete gibberish.
19
Is unexpectedly poetic.
20
Is the same as a tavern in another place. Possibly a franchise, possibly plagiarism.
D20
This Tavern’s Dirty Secret Is...
1
It’s a meeting place for criminal groups.
2
The bartender is a doppelgänger. The real bartender is buried under the floorboards.
3
They water down their drinks.
4
They steal from the pockets of passed-out patrons.
5
It’s haunted.
6
It launders money for a cult.
7
It operates a fighting ring in its basement.
8
It was bought with ill-gained funds.
9
They deliver friendless sots to a fleshworker as experimental subjects.
10
It’s the personal project of a dipsomancer.
11
It employs a supernatural enforcer to collect on tabs.
12
An alchemist mixes their test potions into some of the drinks.
13
It’s built on top of ancient ruins.
14
It’s the lure of an extradimensional predator extruded into this reality.
15
Half the establishment exists on the other side of a magic mirror.
16
There’s something living inside the walls. The patrons
think of it as a sort of mascot, but won’t speak of it to outsiders.
Whatever it is, it likes fresh meat.
17
A heretical scholar carved their magnum opus into the
bottom of one of the tables. Only a few patrons know of it, and it’s
converted them to the scholar’s manner of thinking.
18
You’ve been there before, but don’t remember. All the patrons remember you though.
19
There’s no real alcohol in the place. All the bottles
are filled with the blood of a beast kept chained up in the back. The
difference is nigh-imperceptible.
20
It repeats the same night over and over again in a loop. Staying too long might entrap you in the loop as well.
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