Wednesday, June 29, 2022

D20x5 Piecemeal Pirates

Swiggity swooty they're coming for your booty.

Click the button below for a pirate of your very own:

Generator generator used here:

D20A flourish of this pirate’s flamboyant fashion
1 is a spherical-cut ruby worn in their empty left eye socket.
2 is that the hilts of all their weapons are shaped to resemble grinning dolphins.
3 is that their teeth have been plated with gold images of their own smiling face (the teeth of which bear gold images of their face, and so on down as far as you can make out).
4 are the raven feathers and skulls threaded through their hair.
5 is their scabbard made from a taxidermied alligator.
6 are their piercings made from the wood of ships they’ve splintered.
7 is that their hat looks like their boat.
8 is their camel-hide cape, with bactrian humps at each shoulder.
9 is their coat of shimmering fish-scales.
10 are the slow-burning matches stuck in their waxed and wild hair.
11 is their necklace of false teeth they’ve knocked from the mouths of scurvy-afflicted sailors in bar brawls.
12 are their iridescent sea slug-leather boots, which leave footprints of multicoloured slime.
13 is an urchin-festooned sleeve of dripping kelp.
14 are earrings that depict the known world on a globe.
15 is a belt of glassy, interlocked viperfish teeth.
16 is tassels made from the glowing lures of deep-sea fish.
17 are the high wooden heels of their shoes, each hollow and home to a rat, which are trained to come out and dance when the heels are clicked together.
18 is the birdcage they wear like a backpack, with a live albatross captured within.
19 is their big brass choker, cast in the image of the world-serpent.
20are their rings of many materials, set with countless stones, so tightly-packed on each finger that they have trouble closing their fist.

D20This pirate has 
1 a pistol under their pillow. And in their boot. And in their coat. Assume that if they’re reaching somewhere it’s to grab a gun.
2 a kraken’s tentacle grafted onto the stump of their right arm.
3 a coral charm stolen off a sea-witch. They can use it to call up storms and redirect lightning to their enemies’ masts.
4 a talking map which supposedly knows the way to the stashed treasure of the most infamous corsair to ever sail the seas.
5 a chest full of convincingly forged letters of marque from many nations.
6 an enchanted flag which always blows towards the greatest concentration of wealth within a dozen leagues.
7 a pet monkey possessed by the ghost of a wizard.
8 three favours owed to them by a minor deity of the ocean.
9 their nostrils sewn shut with sanctified thread to contain an air elemental within their nasal cavity. While it’s held in their body they have no need to breathe.
10 a siren tattoo that can pick up even the faintest whispers, and records them as inky text on the skin around it.
11 a narwhal-horn warhammer that turns the water (and water-containing organic tissues) it strikes to ice.
12 an iron peg leg that’s really a little cannon.
13 a telescope with a lens of magical crystal, which can bend the light that passes through it to see beyond the horizon.
14 a sea-goat horn that summons a caul of fog over the area when blown.
15 a bag of dried remoras that can freeze ships in place when stuck on their hulls.
16 a magical, self-replenishing sack of rum made from a whale’s scrotum.
17 a sabre forged from strongly-magnetized ore that will repel any metal weapon it parries and any metal armour it strikes.
18 a casket full of Jenny Hanivers that will rehydrate and return to violent life when exposed to water.
19 a cat’s cradle web of strings that can sympathetically manipulate the rigging of ships.
20a plastic future-fossil flung back in time from the ocean-to-come, which can transmute water into acid.

D20This pirate’s ship 
1 was won off a djinn in a bet, and can soar for a short time above the water.
2 is a living creature halfway between a whale and a barnacle, with watertight compartments within its shell.
3 has a toothy mechanized shark as its figurehead, capable of biting clean through the hulls of ships it rams.
4 has a hold filled with giant war-eels, which can be unleashed into the surrounding water in battle.
5 is fitted with naphtha-spraying siphons.
6 has an elastic launch-deck for scouting hang-gliders.
7 is a single solid piece of living wood, and can repair itself if provided with water, sunlight, and compost. On the other hand, it needs to be constantly pruned back into a functional shape.
8 was stolen from a sea-elf fleet, and is capable of diving like a submarine.
9 has an enchanted, corkscrew-shaped anchor that when embedded in the sea-bed can summon up a whirlpool around the whip while leaving it untouched at the whirlpool’s eye.
10 is painted with a blueish resin that renders it totally fire-resistant. The crew sometimes takes advantage of this by coating the deck in oil and setting it alight to discourage boarders.
11 has shrines to Sekolah, Panzuriel, and other evil gods of the seas in its lower decks.
12 has a telescoping crow’s nest that can be cranked out to peerless heights.
13 has pots growing bonsai lemon trees, to ward off scurvy.
14 is painted with apotropaic eyes that glance towards incoming dangers.
15 has sails of a tremendously reflective fabric, that can blind anyone looking at them if the sun’s shining down right.
16 was bought with a loan, and the agents of the bank that made that loan hunt it still.
17 has been customized to the last plank, stripped of all parts that aren’t absolutely necessary to its function. It’s among the fastest ships on the waves, but it’s endurance away from port has suffered greatly.
18 has giant crab legs grafted to its hull that let it walk on land.
19 is shrouded in an illusion that lets it be disguised as any other sort of boat, from a raft to a dinghy to a dreadnought.
20is festooned with sea urchins along its hull and railing that poisonously prick anyone trying to do a boarding action against it.

D20This pirate’s crew 
1 are all in love with them.
2 are enslaved husks of the drowned dead, chained by necromantic rites.
3 are former slaves, and would all choose death over further captivity.
4 paint their faces with ashes.
5 split the loot they take in equal shares.
6 vote on every major decision.
7 is half composed of impeccably-trained orangutans.
8 are symbiotically bonded with kelp that allow them to breath underwater, and camouflage them among vegetation.
9 are tattooed with their name, rank, and role.
10 are stored in hibernation in giant, brine-filled cans below deck when not needed.
11 wear a fishhook through their cheek or chin for every major haul they’ve won.
12 are branded with their initials.
13 are always singing or humming sea shanties.
14 wear white bandanas around their arms stained with the first blood they shed and drew as one of the crew.
15 keep parrots on their shoulders that speak in their voices, and can carry messages between them over many miles. If a crew member is slain and their parrot is not, they may be seen living again, though with colourful feathers poking from their scalp, and the black ridge of a beak instead of teeth.
16 sharpen their teeth to points and surgically split their tongues.
17 kill anyone who leaves their ranks, and stitches their flayed skin to their flag.
18 have a tactile language kept among themselves that let them communicate complex messages through a single handshake.
19 are growing to resent them, and are ripe for mutiny.
20rename themselves after sorts of fish or seabird when they join up.

D20This pirate desires 
1 to live freely from laws and states on the open sea.
2 to amass enough wealth to pay off their sins and win a place in heaven.
3 to regain the sacred relics stolen from their people long ago.
4 to surpass their childhood insecurity by being acknowledged as ‘cool’. Their constant overcompensation towards this end has ironically prevented them from achieving it.
5 to sail to the edge of the world and beyond.
6 to marry the crown prince of the merfolk.
7 revenge on the nation and navy that scorned them.
8 the exorcism of the greed-demon that stalks them.
9 to free a dear comrade’s soul from Davy Jones’ Locker.
10 to find the buried hoard of their mentor and former captain.
11 to chart a passage to their religion’s worldly promised land.
12 to flood the world and turn it all into one  gigantic ocean, with land reduced to scattered, powerless archipelagos.
13 to carve out their place among legends as the greatest pirate of all time.
14 to escape the chains of gravity and sail among the stars themselves.
15 to find the pirate-king who killed their family in a raid long ago, and send them straight to hell.
16 to find their own heart, which was stolen (along with all their emotions it contained) and buried on an island somewhere by a wizard they once knew.
17 to gain legitimacy and stability by being commissioned by a powerful government.
18 to find a doctor who can cure the unpleasant disease them and their crew caught on a distant shore.
19 to discover the truth behind the eldritch dreams that plague them, dreams of a city at the bottom of an oceanic abyss where a god lies dead yet sleeping.
20to meet new and interesting people, and take their new and interesting stuff.

D6x6 Scornful Scarecrows

This is a generator for evil, animate scarecrows. Why yes, after hundreds of these things I am having to stretch for ideas, how could you tell?

Click the button below to get it to work:

Generator generator here:

D6This scornful scarecrow is
1 a formerly-ordinary scarecrow that became the focus for an entire village's negative emotions after a murder took place in its field, after which it became animate and sentient.
2 granted life by a lingering drop of Abel's blood, still crying out from fields tilled by the sons of Cain.
3 a vengeful forest spirit whose trees were razed to make farms.
4 a harvest deity who's shrivelled up and become bitter.
5 animated by the ghost of a vagrant who was murdered when caught stealing grain from its field.
6the vessel of a demon that a desperate farmer invited into this world to prevent his family from starving - but at what cost?

D6This scornful scarecrow attacks
1 by riding a skeletal ox and getting it to trample and gore its victims.
2 by rapidly spinning straw into razor wire.
3 with a torch and pitchfork wielded in dreadful tandem.
4 with thorny, eviscerating claws that break off bits in wounds that grow into parasitic brambles.
5 silently, from out of nowhere, swinging a machete.
6by summoning swarms of birds and rats to nip away at its victims.

D6The surrounding community deals with this scornful scarecrow
1 by sacrificing troublemakers (and anyone who seems like they might make trouble) to it.
2 by attempting to appease it with shrines, festivals, and little doughy treats steamed in straw.
3 by demystifying it, seeing it as no different from any other territorial predator, learning its routines and avoiding it when they can.
4 by avoiding it physically and mentally, fencing off its field and obscuring its existence in nursery rhymes.
5 by making it the lynchpin of their defense from the outside world, setting obstacles to funnel invaders towards it - some even coming to see it as their sacred guardian.
6by challenging it, making surviving in its field for a night their rite of manhood - those who survive are said to have conquered fear itself (though they rarely speak to each other about the chronic nightmares).

D6This scornful scarecrow has
1 human viscera stuffed inside it in unconventional numbers and arrangements instead of straw.
2 a wide hat with vials containing wasps, mosquitos, locusts and other such unpleasant insects dangling from its brim.
3 a mouthful of mismatched teeth pried from the mouths of dogs, cats, and various livestock.
4 an unseemly blend of burlap and leather making up its body, each mixed into the other without a clear point of demarcation.
5 stitches spelling out curses and obscenities.
6black marble eyes that roll around in its head when it's agitated.

D6This scornful scarecrow's field grows
1 gourds and melons, swollen to boulder-size and wrinkled and sagging into forms suggestive of faces. Vines snag at your feet like snares when you trudge through it.
2 lentil bushes in trackless profusion. Disease-bearing ticks lurk on every stem.
3 apple trees, spread from neat orchards to a gnarled forest. Their branches have matted into a sun-blocking thicket, bearing foul-smelling fruit.
4 corn, the stalks in tight-packed rows towering above your head, every stretch identical to every other. Easy to get lost in a place like this.
5 wheat. The dense stalks trap air like fur against skin - the field is unpredictably, unpleasantly hot or cold.
6rice, the grains hard and bitter even after long boiling. The field's mud sucks your feet in deep, steals your boots, and needle-thin fishbones are mixed in throughout, pricking through bare skin and thin cloth.

D6This scornful scarecrow's field
1 is home to rabid badgers and their ankle-snapping dens.
2 is riddled with pitfalls, bear traps, and other such nasty surprises.
3 is larger once you're in it than it seems from the outside.
4 bends to its will in subtle ways.
5 is decorated with the heads of its victims, hollowed out and stuck on stakes, a candle shining from their mouths and eye sockets.
6has at its center a barn and farmhouse, in pristine condition despite the untended crops. Within, the signs of everyday life are preserved at the moment they stopped.

Monday, June 27, 2022

Some More Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Inspired by discussion on the GLOG server. Special thanks to Everythings and LichesgetStitches.

Git along little dogies, it's your misfortune and none of my own:


Behold! A[colour] horse!<br>The name of him who sat on it was [name].<br>He who sat on it held [item].<br>It was granted to the one who sat on it [power].<br>I heard [speaker] [ominous quote].<br>And all [follow] followed with him.

n orange

the News

a rusted scythe
a barbed spear
a pair of shears
a glaring owl
a blaring megaphone
a rabid pit bull
a roaring chainsaw
a gun firing wildly
a globe
a set of compasses
a wicked mace
an two-headed axe
a tattered banner
an infant by its ankle
a cracked mirror
a leaden crown
an empty cup
a grinning skull
a wriggling sack
a bloodied stone

swiftness to cross the whole of the Earth
some of the last words of history
mastery over many legions
knowledge of every evil
sight to reveal all things hidden and kept dear
to ruin good things
authority over a swathe of the earth
strength to defeat any army

the [number] living creature say
a voice in the midst cry out
the angel of the LORD announce
the head of the slain beast declare
the very stones rumble out
as if in my own thoughts:
all sleepers shriek
the doves call
the chorus on high sing
the splitting sky shout in a voice like thunder:

{ominous quote}
"Flee, and know the trampling of his brothers"
"It's happening"
"Your days are numbered. All days are numbered. Few now remain"
"Be afraid"
"The time for mercy is past"
"Start praying"
"Is this Biblically-accurate enough for you?"
"Sorry atheists"
"Be gay and do crime"


the Furies
the rising waters
nuclear fire
the deep state
the empire
the weeping ones
the gathering darkness
the self-appointed inquisitors
the killing machines
the living dead
the unforgiven
the meaningless cacophonies
the rulers of the darkness of the world
the winds of destruction
the idolators
the corpse-eaters
the swarming vermin
the screams of the dying

Friday, June 24, 2022

D6x6 Mystifying Myconids

Click the button below for your very own myconids:

Generator generator here:

D6These myconids have
1 a crown of crimson tendrils that makes them look quite fearsome.
2 wrinkles that make them look like a cross between a walnut and a brain.
3 teardrop-shaped bioluminescent nodules that sometimes break off and float away.
4 lacey skirts of hyphae.
5 frills that trail below their caps like tattered veils.
6wide pores that leak indigo ichor.

D6These myconids can
1 puff up rapidly, becoming temporary giants, but collapse soon after.
2 seemingly teleport by popping in and out of the ground - really they're translating themselves through the hyphaeic network.
3 survive decapitation and other sorts of dismemberment.
4 induce overproduction of chitin to organically petrify parts of their body.
5 speak with worms and beetles and all other detritivores.
6clamber over any surface by sinking their tendrils into it.

D6These myconids are vulnerable to
1 direct sunlight, which dries them right out.
2 confusion if exposed to certain scents which disrupt their pheromonal communications.
3 exposure to temperatures outside a narrow band, and so must spend much of their time underground, in controlled environments, or in otherwise temperate zones.
4 starvation if isolated from their hyphae, as they're unable to process food on their own.
5 dogs and hogs, which can sniff them out and devour them relentlessly.
6blights which leave meaty creatures untouched.

D6These myconids' society
1 teaches that individuality is an illusion, and that only the group is real.
2 is a crab-in-the-bucket scramble to earn recognition and a legacy within their short lifespans.
3 is built from the ground-up with limitless interconnection and redundancy.
4 is a nomadic trade empire, able to wander and integrate itself anywhere.
5 has exhausted itself with decadent celebration and monument-building.
6is nominally democratic, yet entrenched interest groups have decided its direction practically since its inception.

D6These myconids are
1 descendants of cultists who worshiped a fungal god who they believed could bring them to ultimate cosmic unity.
2 former fairies whose spirits got stuck in mushrooms while passing through a fairy-ring.
3 a latent adaption in all fungi, simply waiting for the right epigenetic trigger to show up.
4 the descendants of fungus that grew atop graves and absorbed the form and intelligence of the corpses buried therein.
5 an epicurean wizard's experiment in creating self-harvesting produce.
6an ancient species that has ruled over the great rot that has followed every mass extinction.

D6If eaten, these myconids
1 are addictively delicious, overloaded with umami flavour.
2 are powerfully anti-biotic, able to cure any bacterial infection.
3 contain spores that will survive their passage through your digestive tract. The spores will grow little myconids in your poop that will imprint on you like ducklings.
4 will chemically alter your brain to further their interests.
5 will launch your soul out of your body in a psychedlic astral projection.
6will literally poison the shit out of you.

Sunday, June 19, 2022

D6x6 Swooping Swanmays

Click the button below for a swanmay of your very own:

Generator generator here:

D6This swanmay’s swan form
1looks like someone wearing a well-made swan costume.
2is crystalline, resembling an ice sculpture, and leaves a trail of glowing motes in its wake.
3is albino, save for speckles on its chest the colour of blood.
4has a dagger-like beak and razor-edged feathers.
5is all the colours of the rainbow - the gayest looking swan you can imagine.
6has feathers as dark as a moonless night.
D6This swanmay’s human form
1is uncannily lithe and lanky.
2is that of a stately old woman, imperious and elegant.
3has the tell that they’ve got swan’s eyes instead of human ones, and so wears tinted glasses when they want to be inconspicuous.
4is muscular and wiry, with matted hair and wild eyes.
5is rosy-cheeked and buxom.
6is deathly pale and has hair that trails down to her ankles.
D6This swanmay is
1a swan that was magically uplifted by a deity to be one of its servitors.
2a star that was cast down from the constellation Cygnus for space-crimes.
3a formerly-ordinary mortal who became afflicted with a terminal illness, and turned to the fairies who lived in the nearby woods for an unconventional cure.
4a character from an opera who was brought into reality from the imaginary realm by an obsessed & arcanely-inclined conductor.
5a spirit representing humanity and nature in mutually-beneficial harmony - a spirit of the garden and the grove.
6a princess cursed by a rival over a marriage prospect.
D6This swanmay can
1heal wounds with her tears - but they must be tears of genuine grief.
2grant the gift of flight to those who join her flock.
3shroud her surroundings in total silence, or unleash a deafening honk.
4hex anyone who harms her to encounter pernicious thorns whenever they walk through or touch vegetation.
5speak with all birds as though they were not twittering idiots.
6ward ghosts and demons away from anyone carrying a token made from her feathers.
D6This swanmay hangs about
1a pond in the middle of a royal hunting preserve that’s being occupied by a peasant rebellion.
2a castle abandoned because it was built for fanciful aesthetics over defensibility.
3a stone crossroad that’s fallen into disrepair, become overgrown and sunken into muck.
4a beached gambling barge, wiling away the days playing solitaire with moldering cards.
5a placid lake with bygone evils sealed within, sacrifices and idols tossed to its bed, leaking their energies into the water over centuries like toxic waste.
6a haunted glade where the heartbroken go to commit suicide.
D6This swanmay is looking for
1a worthy bearer for a magic sword she’s been charged with keeping.
2the descendant of a family she owes a mortal debt to.
3someone willing to take on a monster that lairs in the same area.
4a few venal individuals willing to take on the job of pranking a local dryad who she’s got a rivalry with.
5someone who can chart a safe migration route for her swan friends.
6a lover to share her days with.

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

D100+ Weighty Werebeasts

Click the button below for a werebeast of your very own:

Generator generator here:

The code:

This werebeast is a were[beast].<br>This werebeast became a werebeast [became]<br>A quirk of this werebeast is [quirk].<br>[spread].<br>[cure].<br>[wereweak].






due to the curse of a notorious, nature-venerating cult.
because of the blessing of an obscure animal-god.
because of boundary-pushing experiments in transmutative magic.
due to obsessive emulation of their favourite animal.
after they accumulated enough merit as an animal to gain the ability to assume human form.
after eating the meat of a spirit that had assumed physical form.
by being born into a clan of fellow werebeasts.
due to possession by an animal whose ghost they failed to propitiate after killing.
after drinking a tainted potion made with beast-blood.
as the perfection of their animal-based martial arts style.
due to para-temporal contamination from an alternate timeline where their animal form was the dominant species.
long ago, when the line between human and animal was more fluid.
after a berserker rage so deep it broke their humanity.
thanks to a poorly worded wish.
due to the magic of a fairy who wanted to teach them an important lesson. Important to fairies, at least.
because the angel that carried their unborn soul couldn’t decide whether to bring it to a beastly or a human infant.
after being infected by another werebeast.
due to genetic tampering to cure a congenital disease.
after being used as a living portal to the Beastlands.
due to their reflection being captured, consumed, and replaced by a cursed mirror.

This werebeast has a weakness to [material], and [exposure] it [weakness]

This werebeast cannot transform if anyone is looking at them
This werebeast transforms involuntarily if sufficiently agitated
The remains of an animal which they can turn into can grievously harm this werebeast if wielded against them
This werebeast is vulnerable to overstimulation of their animal senses
This werebeast possesses a talisman, which if destroyed would trap them in their animal form
This werebeast is poisoned by whatever would poison them in either form - such as chocolate for a canine or fresh water for a saltwater fish
This werebeast can sometimes forget their human self if they remain in animal form for too long
Normal animals are wary, fearful, or even aggressive toward this werebeast
Transformation is excruciatingly painful for this werebeast

that they transform into an oversized version of their animal form
that they transform into a group of their animal form
that they can transform only part of their body into their human or animal form if they so choose
that wounds or other such negative effects on one form are shucked when they change into their other form
that they can command other animals of the sort they transform into
that they can communicate telepathically in their animal form
that they can exist in a sort of super-position of their animal and human forms simultaneously, taking on the traits of whichever would be more advantageous in each circumstance
that they can transform their surroundings into the preferred environment of their animal form
that they can track anyone whose flesh they've tasted to the ends of the earth
that they can rapidly regenerate if they've got enough food to eat to make up for lost mass
that there's a magical shroud about them that inhibits people connecting the actions of their human and animal forms
that if killed they will return as a peculiar sort of vampire

hawthorn wood

on contact with
in proximity to
when wounded by

they're forced to transform into a wretched mishmash of parts
their flesh blisters and smokes
they're struck with mortal terror
they're lulled into torpor
they lose the capacity for higher thought

This werebeast can't spread their condition by any means
This werebeast can spread their condition to others through their bite
This werebeast can spread their condition to their children, whether adopted or biological
This werebeast can spread their condition to those who drink their blood
This werebeast's condition will be contracted by their killer unless their killer performs certain austerities
This werebeast's condition can be attained by anyone who grinds up their bones and snorts them
This werebeast's condition can be contracted by anyone who drinks fresh rain from their footprint
This werebeast spreads their condition to anyone who lives in close proximity to them for long enough
This werebeast can spread their condition like an STD
This werebeast can spread their condition by sowing one of their teeth in the flesh of their target

This werebeast can be cured if someone else agrees to take on their condition
This werebeast can be cured by imbibing a toxic mixture that might well kill them in the process
This werebeast can be cured if they live in a heart of civilization without transforming for a year
This werebeast can be cured if they find true love
This werebeast can be cured if they kill one hundred animals of the same sort as their animal form
This werebeast can be cured by flaying them in their animal form, revealing their human form within
This werebeast can be cured by a wish or other similarly potent magic
This werebeast cannot be cured of their condition by any means. It is an inextricable part of them
This werebeast can be cured if the first of their kind is slain, which will also cure all others of their kind
This werebeast might lose their power (and weakness) if they violate the cycles of nature sufficiently

Saturday, June 11, 2022

D20 Reasons Why This Flying Castle/Mountain/Etc. Is In The Sky, Though By Common Sense It Should Not Be

1. It is carried aloft by the Simurgh's flock on three-score beating wings.

2. It is tied to a great big balloon which eclipses the sun and most of the rest of the sky.

3. The earth has rejected it and it has nowhere else to go.

4. It's caught in the slow, broken tractor beam of a wrecked extraterrestrial craft in orbit.

5. It's being held as collateral in a bargain by a tempestous cell of air elementals.

6. Someone spilled a barrel of proprietary flying ointment on it and a coven of witches are very unhappy about that.

7. It contains magnetically-anomalous ores that suspend it in the planet's magnetosphere.

8. It's attached to innumerable kites catching the wind.

9. It's held up by an invisible giant.

10. It's captured enough dew to bear it up as the droplets return to the moon.

11. It's infested by buoyant slime-molds which rise to a high point to sporulate as the final stage of their life-cycle.

12. It's covered in windmills, which are linked to an enchanted engine that converts their angular momentum to upwards linear momentum.

13. It's been frozen in spatio-temporal stasis after being flung into the air by a volcanic eruption.

14. Sky-pirates are abducting it with gossamer hooks.

15. Lots of rockets, strapped on haphazardly.

16. It contains a portal to another dimension, and has its foundation upon the ground there.

17. A sort of aerial Charybdis tried sucking the place up into its maw, but ended up choking on it.

18. A mathemagician has made their lair there, and altered its coordinates to place it in the sky.

19. It's made of a porous sort of stone with many internal bubbles of hydrogen, making it lighter-than-air, and very explosive.

20. It's an artifact surviving from a pre-gravitic universe, and so does not recognize gravity's dragging tyranny.

Friday, June 10, 2022

D6x6 Xeno-Swarms, Such As Might Be Found In The Zerg, Tyranids, Flood, And The Like

Click the button below for your very own all-devouring alien swarm:

Generator generator below:

D6This xeno-swarm originated 
1 as escapees from an experimental super-soldier program meant to create warriors who could repopulate and resupply themselves anywhere.
2 as a natural species that evolved on a planet with such harsh conditions that only the most extreme creatures could survive.
3 as an attempt to synthesize a genetic code that scientists interpreted in the cipher of the cosmic background radiation.
4 as bioweapons laced as living minefields by a defeated and retreating galactic empire to deny their lost territories to all others.
5 as a decadent sect of a precursor civilization which decided that the only delight left for them to experience would be to become feral beasts.
6as a species that shared a hive-mind, and so also shared the psychic trauma that mutilated their hive-mind and turned them into what they are now.

D6This xeno-swarm's appearance
1 is reminescent of naked mole-rats, wriggling piles of pink flesh with folds in skin parting to reveal toothsome maws and devilish appendages.
2 is the inverse of Geiger-esque. They sort of resemble plushies, and might be cute if they weren't trying to tear you apart.
3 is gelatinous and ever-shifting, each organism of the swarm itself composed of a zoogleal colony of sub-organisms that can swap to the role of any other sub-organism like stem cells.
4 combines features of crocodiles, sharks, ants, and just about every other hundreds-of-millions-of-years-strong survivor.
5 is that of a Cambrian explosion menagerie, a parade of bizarre, unintuitive body plans.
6is disturbingly similar to crabs, revealing the terrible universality of carcinization.

D6This xeno-swarm is greatly feared
1 for its ability to spawn kaiju that by conventional understanding of biomechanics should collapse under their own weight.
2 for its ability to subvert people into its agents by chemical and surgical means, like a much more complex version of those wasps that hijack cockroaches.
3 for its adaptability, quickly generating new organisms to respond to any new environment or threat.
4 for its strategy and coordination, every component organism able to act in perfect concert with every other.
5 for its hyper-corrosive venom that can melt through flesh and metal alike, and which its creatures can spit with great range and accuracy.
6for its smallest component organisms, which gather in gargantuan swarms and can strip cities bare of life in hours.

D6This xeno-swarm spreads 
1 by infesting hosts as a parasite and mutating them from within.
2 like a weed, sending its roots deep throughout a world and periodically blooming out a horde from that network.
3 by chewing through hyperspace like rats through drywall, creating interplanetary tunnels and occasionally collapsing the foundations of local space-time.
4 like interstellar burs, hitching a ride on other species' spaceships.
5 by not really spreading at all. In fact, it's already present on countless worlds, and only appears to spread when these dormant nests are awoken.
6through meteorite-spores they launch en masse into the void.

D6This xeno-swarm’s weakness 
1 is that its higher thinking is outsourced to certain cerebral organisms. Take those out, and the rest of the swarm in the vicinity will go catatonic or go on an indiscriminate rampage.
2 is that despite appearances all its organisms are biologically very similar, and so the swarm is susceptible to infectious diseases.
3 is that it struggles to comprehend technology. Even just opening a door instead of needing to smash it open can be a crapshoot for its organisms.
4 is that with the right pheromonal or ultra-sonic signal they can be lured wherever you want them.
5 is its tremendous hunger. If not able to secure new food supplies for itself the swarm will swiftly resort to auto-cannibalism.
6is that it possesses an animalistic wariness around fire.

D6A proposed solution to this xeno-swarm 
1 is to upload all sapient lifeforms into robot bodies or simulated realities and wipe everthing else out to deprive the swarm of sustenance.
2 is to hybridize other life with the xeno-swarm so they wouldn't be seen as prey.
3 is to create another, even deadlier xeno-swarm that's programmed to predate it.
4 is to create totally sealed and surveilled habitats that the swarm couldn't hope to infiltrate.
5 is to create a Judas-organism that would destroy the swarm from within.
6is to initiate a program of universal drilling and augmentation so that every individual outside the swarm is more than a match for any organisms within it.