Wednesday, February 27, 2019

D20x5 Ready Reapers

Underworld stuff is relatively easy to write. That is probably why there are a dozen Underworld movies.

Roll automator found here:

D20This reaper appears as
1a black cloak with only grasping grey hands underneath. Anything they touch withers, anything pulled inside disappears, never to be seen in the living world again.
2a knightly flea in chitinous armour mounted atop a giant rat pocked all over with buboes.
3the first person you’ve ever known to die, invisible if you’re ignorant of mortality.
4an eroded skeleton dancing a clattery jig to the flutish sounds of wind whistling through the holes and grooves in its bones.
5a pale lady dressed in a trailing miasmal gown and sarira-studded jewelry.
6a black dog as big as a bear, its footprints and empty eye sockets sputtering plumes of ash.
7a non-Euclidean Wound Man pierced simultaneously by every possible weapon and tool.
8a cairn crawling on stony legs.
9a dirt-caked gravedigger with a vulture’s head.
10a sow-sized, kindly-eyed maggot carried about on a carpet of flies.
11a scythe-headed blackbird.
12a trio of crones joined at the neck, whose shared head is a spider. It constantly spins, weaves, and cuts its own silk.
13a hunter whose skin is tanned leather, with antlers crowning its brow. When it needs a spear or arrow it snaps an appropriately-sized tine from its antlers.
14a halfway-mummified corpse chained to something like both a clock and a breaking wheel.
15an iron maiden articulated into a humanoid form, snapping open to a spiky grin.
16some freakish deep-sea creature barely glimpsed through the gloom, all pale, dangling lights and glassy teeth.
17a giant crab whose shell is an ossuary, bones molded into crustacean shape.
18a severed head bloated and floating with corpse-gas, its greasy hair dangling in a noose-braid.
19a roadkill chimera, some crushed bits of jackal there, some whip-poor-will there, some hyena, and so on.
20a skeletal bat wrought from iron and lead, bluish light shining from within its skull and ribs.
D20This reaper primarily collects the souls of
1those who die by being crushed.
2those who die after being swallowed whole.
3those who are burned to death.
4those who die of deprivation.
5those who die by all sorts of impalement.
6those who die by falling from a height.
7those who die in several pieces.
8those who die in complete darkness.
9those who die far from home.
10those who die at the hands of a friend.
11those who die to fulfill curiousity.
12those who die of poisoning.
13those who die while seeing their own viscera.
14those who die after being resurrected.
15those who die due to incautiousness.
16those who die from a miraculous misfortune.
17those who die from a thousand cuts.
18those who die in another’s place.
19those who die from a wizard’s mistake.
20those who die clutching gold.
D20If this reaper is after you, it might let you go if
1you can outrace it.
2you can remain perfectly still for longer than it can.
3you bribe it with hell-money. The moment the bribes stop coming, it’ll come back to collect you.
4you can wrestle it into submission.
5you can provide it blackmail on a dead person in the underworld.
6you swear an oath to hunt down an undead creature of its choosing.
7you promise to clear a once-sanctified catacomb of the things that have defiled it.
8you can give it three good reasons why it should in ten seconds or less.
9you make a pact with it to arrange the deaths of three other people in the manner it prefers.
10you can wear a mourner’s veil over your face for the rest of your life to hide yourself from it.
11you can tell it a riddle it can’t solve before you get away.
12you can provide the blood-and-wine mixture necessary to propitiate it.
13you agree to sabotage its rival psychopomp’s collection quota.
14you agree and are able to take it to the living world as your familiar.
15you promise to take its position the next time you die.
16you offer up someone precious to you in your place.
17you trade it your memories of the living world.
18you gamble with more than your life as the stakes.
19you can beat it in a game of its choice.
20you can (im)mortally wound it.
D20This reaper views mortals
1with distrust, as it does anything that lives.
2as products to be packaged and delivered.
3as sources of entertaining gossip.
4as a nuisance that should all die out already.
5as irrationally attached to their bodies.
6as children to be herded for their own good.
7like a cat does mice.
8as clients for whom it is performing a commendable service.
9as waste to be recycled.
10as immortal spirits confused by their brief time clothed in flesh.
11as barely above animals.
12as admirable and tragic figures.
13as bundles of untapped potential.
14as amalgams of everything they’ve had to kill and consume to survive.
15as unwelcome intruders in the underworld.
16as the underclass of the post-life economy.
17as a chemical accident.
18as little divinities.
19as a strange sort of people, but people all the same.
20as being terribly naive about how the world really operates.
D20This reaper works for
1a necromancer, who it fetches souls for and advises against the most egregious violations of the natural order.
2one of the rebel-hells, to supply the innocent souls they so rarely get a taste of.
3heaven, in the hope of eventual ascension.
4lich-lords recruiting for their deathless wars.
5an extinct pantheon, to steal souls for their crumbling afterlife.
6an ancient emperor, to gather slaves for their work projects.
7esoteric merchants of the outer realms.
8a spirit-eating abomination, to stock its larder.
9a bodhisattva, to speed souls along the cycle of reincarnation.
10the ghost of a dragon who hoards the dead.
11a lesser archon, to render down souls into fuel for its sub-creation.
12a fallen angel seeking enough souls to bribe its way back into heaven’s good graces.
13a union of ancestral spirits pooling their resources to hire it.
14an abyssal tribunal, to bring souls to their proper judgement.
15the Fates, to archive souls and their stories.
16valkyries, to provide mooks for the einherjar to practice on.
17a necropolis attempting to undergo a population boom.
18a philosopher of the deeply buried qliphoth, who wants to study the essence of alien (to it) beings.
19the highest bidder.
20a charitable god who wishes for all the dead to have a peaceful rest.

Monday, February 25, 2019

D20x5 Calibans, Igors, Renfields, & Other Wretched Servants

Gooble gobble

D20This Wretched Servant Serves...
1A sociopathically greedy business mogul.
2A lich reduces by its enemies to a crawling, mummified hand.
3A megalomaniacal troglodyte who uncovered ancient entombed technology.
4The spoiled half-human child of a fairy-prince.
5A crazed paladin who has cybernetically modified themself into a model of the world that their faith demands should be.
6A hellspawned cambion who has embraced their vicious blood.
7A doddering old wizard whose evil is now as much the result of senility as malice.
8A bandit-chief with pretensions to warlordism.
9A hyperintelligent ectoparasite that desires to make all humanity its cattle.
10A semi-divine whale who has grown to loathe the works of landlubbers.
11The ultraterrestrial harbinger of an invasion from the acid-soaked realm of the machine elves.
12A clanking sapient automaton whose heart is a doomsday clock that ticks ever closer to the end of days.
13A vizier with ambitions to take the throne for themself.
14A criminal mastermind with fingers in every rotten pie.
15A pirate-lord who’s sailed stranger seas than the seven known.
16A prideful priest whose veneer of virtue hides sickening hobbies.
17An alien organism they’re nurturing back to full, titanic might after its mutually mangling impact with the world.
18A heretical conspiracy set to overthrow the current order.
19A fraying tyrant with ever-teetering delusions of towering grandeur.
20The matriarch of a clan of inbred assassins with weaponized mutations.
D20This Wretched Servant’s Behaviour...
1Is tailored to their audience to best misdirect and manipulate.
2Is generally cringing obeisance.
3Is chortling, callous joie-de-vivre.
4Can be summed up in cycles of excess and apathy.
5Is hammy, scenery-chewing, a self-conscious performance.
6Is always testing and abrasive.
7Is fatalistically depressive.
8Is blandly bureaucratic.
9Is compulsively self-doubting.
10Is a deceptive, self-serving tangle of lies.
11Is vegetatively slothful when they’re not performing their duties.
12Is talentlessly poetic.
13Is unwaveringly, untiringly loyal.
14Is contemplative yet impulsive.
15Is glory-seeking and self-destructive.
16Is amorously awful.
17Is simmering aggression that’s always rising to boiled-over fury.
18Is wry amusement with everything around them, masking a prickly, fragile ego.
19Is hyperactive hyperfocus on each new topic raised to their attention.
20Is a sculpted facade of virtue and honour.
D20This Wretched Servant’s Deformity Is...
1Toes on their hands and fingers on their feet.
2Upside-down ears that leak earwax constantly.
3The left half of their body is half-again as large as the right.
4Slit pupils like a lizard’s.
5Purple skin like a full-body bruise.
6A single scaly horn growing out the side of their head.
7Uncannily perfect beauty.
8The doll-like stillness of their face.
9Veins that wriggle like worms beneath their skin.
10A wrinkled throat that bulges like a frog’s when they inhale.
11Hairy palms.
12Serrated, wedge-shaped teeth.
13A smattering of benign teratomas.
14An elongated spine that’s folded like an accordion.
15Hair that grows in porcupine-spines.
16A mouth that opens much too wide.
17A fleshy, prehensile tail.
18Copious acne that sprouts in symbolic patterns.
19A nose that’s just two flat holes.
20A neck, arms, and legs that are twice as long as normal.
D20This Wretched Servant’s Madness Is...
1That they are the true master and their master is really their servant.
2That If they consume the shed skin, hair, nail trimmings, etc., of their master, they’ll take on some of their master’s power.
3That they are immortal so long as their master lives.
4A boundless belief in the fundamental goodness of everyone else.
5Clinical lycanthropy they lapse into when frightened or surprised.
6That their master is the only one they can trust and everyone else is a spy or saboteur.
7That their master is watching everything they do.
8That their master is a god and they must invent rites and taboos to avert their master’s wrath.
9That the world is ending tomorrow (always tomorrow, never today) and that everyone should act like it.
10That avoiding all sexual behaviours and displays will allow them to accumulate vital essence.
11That everyone secretly serves their master, and any obstacles are only competition for their master’s favour.
12That they are a demonic entity summoned by their master as a familiar.
13That eating pieces of art will make them more beautiful.
14That you can know everything there is to know about a person from their handshake.
15That all actions are permissible if you are polite while doing them.
16That the existence of the supernatural is a baseless superstition.
17That time is exactly cyclical and that they remember every event that has or will ever happen.
18That love and compassion burn them like acid.
19That they’re your (and everyone else’s) long-lost twin, forsaken for their dreadful superiority.
20That children are treacherous and seek to replace adults through secret violence.
D20This Wretched Servant Mostly Serves By...
1Preparing and administering horrific poisons.
2Offering pathetic and profuse praise.
3Acting as their master’s messenger and herald.
4Kidnapping their master’s enemies’ loved ones.
5Collecting tribute, by force if necessary.
6Performing fell magic too dangerous for their master to risk.
7Constructing and operating cruelly ingenious machines.
8Rousing mobs and misdirecting vexations.
9Spreading lies and conspiracies.
10Immortalizing their master’s deeds in song.
11Luring the credible to their doom.
12Liasioning with other malicious types.
13Leading squads of other minions.
14Handling beasts and acquiring more and more dangerous sorts.
15Sagely advising on many fields of expertise.
16Organizing improbable heists.
17Acting as a bodyguard.
18Providing a legitimate front to underhanded enterprises.
19Enacting gruesome assassinations.
20Designing their master’s hideouts and lairs.