Archons March On: D20x5 Pitiable Orphans/Cheap & Disposable Hirelings

Thursday, October 25, 2018

D20	This Orphan Looks...
1	Puppy-eyed and chubby.
2	As off-putting as they smell.
3	Small for their age.
4	Adorably ugly.
5	Ruddy, dirty, and lacking in teeth.
6	Like every bone in their face has been broken at some point.
7	Uncannily like you when you were young.
8	Entirely stoic. They never seem to smile or sob.
9	Half-starved and heavily tattooed.
10	Twitchy and gangly.
11	Like they could pass for just about any ethnicity.
12	Tall, broad, and mean.
13	Like they’re always know something you don’t.
14	Like they just ran through a thorn bush.
15	Inbred to the point of deformity.
16	Completely hairless.
17	Sharp-featured, almost bird-like.
18	Like their hair was styled by an insane barber with nothing but contempt for them.
19	Round of body and face, yet with bony limbs.
20	Wan and androgynous.

D20	This Orphan’s Parents Died...
1	As a cult’s sacrifices.
2	Of old age.
3	Recently.
4	Because of a mistake the orphan made.
5	When the orphan was too young to remember them.
6	Mysteriously.
7	Of complications from alcoholism.
8	Being mauled by a bear.
9	Trampled by a carriage.
10	In a tremendous fire.
11	Leaving the orphan alone in their house for a week with their corpses and collection of near-feral cats before being found.
12	Wealthy, and left the orphan a sizeable inheritance that was stolen by an older relative.
13	As victims of a serial killer.
14	In an unlikely accident as tragic as it was hilarious.
15	Over a debt they owed to the wrong sort of people.
16	By drowning themselves and almost the orphan with them.
17	In a purge of political dissidents.
18	From a horrific disease.
19	As collateral damage in an assassination attempt.
20	At the orphan’s own hands.

D20	This Orphan Wants...
1	A full belly and somewhere dry to sleep.
2	To find the sibling they were separated from.
3	Revenge on an abusive caretaker.
4	To see a dragon in the flesh.
5	All the luxuries this world has to offer.
6	A stiff drink and a sharp knife.
7	The doll they always carry with them to be fixed up good as new.
8	People to fear them.
9	A fresh set of clothes.
10	To be supplied with drugs.
11	Every orphan to be adopted.
12	To be young forever.
13	To emulate someone they look up to.
14	To find out they’re secretly related to royalty.
15	To learn magic.
16	Their own gang.
17	To be treated like an adult.
18	All the candy they can eat before getting sick and then some.
19	A loving family.
20	A name and impressive title.

D20	This Orphan Is Good At...
1	Fist fighting. Getting into a scrap is how they deal with their emotions.
2	Squeezing into tight places.
3	Singing.
4	Lying.
5	Pickpocketing.
6	Eavesdropping.
7	Climbing.
8	Staying very quiet and very still.
9	Literacy.
10	Sling shooting.
11	Burning things.
12	Cheating at gambling games.
13	Running away.
14	Throwing insults.
15	Keeping an eye out for trouble.
16	Carrying more than they should be able to for their size.
17	Hiding objects on their person, or others’ persons.
18	Cleaning and doing laundry.
19	Appearing helpless and harmless.
20	Stopping wounds from bleeding with minimal supplies.

D20	This Orphan Is Bad At...
1	Extended physical exertion. They’ve got an incurable sickness that makes them cough up blood and won’t last to see adulthood.
2	Dealing with the dark. They’ve got a deep phobia of it.
3	Not crying out in their sleep.
4	Math.
5	Cooking, but takes great pride in the meals they make.
6	Doing anything but what they’re explicitly told to do.
7	Speaking clearly. Their tongue’s been half cut off.
8	Dealing with younger children. They hate them so.
9	Going more than five minutes without muttering obscenities.
10	Anything religious.
11	Resisting temptations.
12	Sharing.
13	Haggling.
14	Staying focused.
15	Behaving with good manners.
16	Not going places they shouldn’t.
17	Telling the whole truth even when it would benefit them.
18	Remembering things.
19	Keeping themself clean.
20	Not hoarding everything they can come into possession of.

Thursday, October 25, 2018