D10 Cursed Codpieces

 

 

I was looking through my draft folder the other day and found this post. There was nothing in it but the title and this picture. I think it was riffing off someone else's post about codpieces - it wasn't this - suppose for cursed codpieces to exist, there should be magic codpieces you'd actually want to wear as well. I don't remember why I thought it would be a good idea to write this. Alas, for the sake of a forgotten yester-me I will persevere, and wring this post to completion:

 

1. Fifteen inches. Covered in fluffy fur from a squirrel's tail. Prehensile, and beyond your control - knocks over cups, candlesticks, and suchlike within its reach.

2. Fourteen inches, wrapped in red felt and tipped with a knobbly thimble-like lump of metal. If you attempt to harm a woman it retracts rapidly and beans you in the nuts (stunned for 1d4 rounds from the pain, save for half).

 

3. Six inches, carved from olive wood. Grows another inch every time you tell a lie.

 

4. Eight inches. Forged from rough and unpolished steel. Dings loudly whenever you'd prefer not to be heard.

 

5. Ten inches. Bronze, with a leering, mustachio'd face at its base, the codpiece's length making the face's cleft chin. The face speaks, hurling insults at those nearby, penalizing reaction rolls by -3.

 

6. Eighteen inches. Covered in snake leather. Curses you to become a werepython every full moon.

7. Twelve inches. Made of pitted iron. Magnetically attracts metal items within five feet of it with a strength of 10.

 

8. Thirteen inches. Made of verdigrised copper. Rusts any metal its wearer wears or wields into dust.

 

9. Nine inches. Carved from ivory, with a pair of bull's horns curling off its tip. Animals in mating season instinctively regard you as a rival, and will go out of their way to fight you.

 

10. Twenty inches. Hewn from a single, solid emerald. You cum green slime.

More essential codpiece-core: https://dungeonliar.blogspot.com/2018/12/secret-santicorn-codpiece-crafting.html