Like Monsters & Manuals' post here: Animal Name Monsters, except these are derived from literal translations (partially from google) of French animal names instead of Japanese ones - correct etymology not guaranteed.
Bald Mouse (chauve-souris: mouse)
HD 3 + Swarm AC as flesh ATK 1d4 nibble MOV as jogging man ML 7 INT beast
Animate Skin: A swarm of bald mice can flow into a hide, fur coat, bearskin rug, or the like, and animate it as a simulacrum of the beast it once was (with the same stats and so on). Damage to this animated skin is not carried over to the swarm within unless it is dealt with fire, acid, or suchlike.
"Bald" is a gentler way of saying these creatures are practically flayed - their skin a wet and transparent membrane filled with nerves like little white worms. These nerves connect to each other, dissolving the mice's individual identities into their teeming swarm, and to dead remnants in old furs, leather, and so on.
HD 2 AC as chain ATK 1d6 proboscis drain (equal damage to charisma, no benefit to rest on same day you've been drained) MOV as hummingbird ML 7 INT person
Butterflies with bodies the size of a football (American) and faces reminiscent of a squalling baby, firmly in the uncanny valley, fixed in plates of chitin.
They seek to drink dreams out of people's heads with their barbed proboscis, processing and regurgitating these dreams as high-octane fuel into great cocoons the night butterflies weave among the boughs of wild peach trees.
These cocoons are rockets. The night butterflies hope that with them they can return to the moon. None have gotten quite that far yet.
Scrubber Rat (raton laveur: raccoon)
HD 4 AC as leather ATK 1d8 bite MOV as running man, climb like monkey ML 8 INT clever beast
Rodents as big as a black bear, with fur like steel wool and tails tipped with feather dusters. Enchanted creations of the ataxophobic court wizard of Castle Peltou. Attack the dirtiest member of the party first, ignore those who are freshly bathed, compulsively clean up messes even before defending themselves.
Green Ouchie (grenouille: frog)
HD 1 AC as flesh ATK 1d4 slap MOV as walking man ML 5 INT beast
Acid Trail: Green ouchies leave an acidic trail of slime behind them like the world's nastiest snail. Stepping in this trail deals 1d4 damage, or destroys your footwear instead if you've got it.
Veil of Innocence: Green ouchies can only be seen by children.
Look like crude, amoebic doodles of houses, dogs, parents holding hands, and suchlike. Loathsome vermin able to slop their way into pantries and granaries impenetrable to all other creatures.
Green ouchies spawn only in a certain week once a year, and across cultures this week has become a time for adulthood initiation rites and celebrations, children being given heavy sticks and told to let loose on the pests.
Ending Eagle (aiglefin: haddock)
HD 1 AC as chain ATK 1d10 decapitation (half damage if neck is covered) MOV as bird ML 6 INT clever beast
Possess wicked talons they hold together to form a curved guillotine. Soar high above their chosen prey, waiting for a moment of inattention to swoop and slice. Ending eagles won't descend so long as they're being watched, but can dive in the moment you blink.
Blood-Knit (sanglier: boar)
HD 5 AC as leather ATK 1d12 digest (can only be used on immobilized targets)/Bloody Spray MOV as walking man ML 7 INT beast
Sticky Blood: Anything which wounds a blood-knit becomes stuck to it by its sticky blood, and a contested strength check against a strength of 12 must be made to remove it. When the blood-knit reaches 1/2 HP this strength increases to 15, and at 1/4 HP it increases to 18.
Bloody Spray: Sprays sticky blood, coating a 5x5 area. Anyone moving through this area becomes stuck, requiring a contested strength check against a strength of 12 to escape. When the blood-knit reaches 1/2 HP this strength increases to 15, and at 1/4 HP it increases to 18.
A mass of red and blue veins clumped together into a form between a pygmy elephant and a terrestrial starfish. Once the servitors of a god of blood, a deity cast down for its savagery. They linger still near that god's shrines, collecting sacrifices pointlessly for their dead master.
Water Hooter (blaireau: badger - mind you the French haven't seen butchery like this since the battle of Agincourt)
HD 3 AC as chain in water, as unarmoured on land ATK 1d6 claw MOV as fish in water, as crawling man on land ML 7 INT as person
Has 3 MD with which it can cast Control Water (per Many Rats on a Stick). Miscasts cause it to take 1d6 damage. Dooms cause it to dissolve into foam & die.
Hairless blue-grey folk without nipples or belly buttons and mouths crowded by a trio of black beaks instead of teeth.
Can speak Common in a hooting, whooping voice. Believe they are the masters of all water, and exact heavy tolls for crossing rivers and fishing in lakes. Leave the drowned and bloated bodies of those who don't pay up bobbing at the edges of their territory like buoys.
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While seeking out these monsterizable translations I also stumbled upon some fun translations/etymologies that didn't make the cut:
-A term for a pedant in French is "un enculeur de mouches" - literally: a sodomizer of flies.
-A gooseberry is a "groseille à maquereau", a "mackerel currant" - perhaps in the woods there are bushes which grow fish-like berries, which are able to pop off the bush and flop over to the nearest river to swim away from browsing animals and spread seeds some great distance
-The French word for dragonfly is "libellule", which wiktionary tells me is from the Latin libellula - however "libellula" is not a word that's been around from the Romans' days - it was coined by Carl Linnaeus based on "libella" (a carpenter's level). Assuming some wiki-nerd isn't taking the piss, what the hell were French people calling dragonflies for centuries before Carl came along?
-Hermit crabs are "bernard-l'ermit": Bernard the Hermit - perhaps they'd get along with St. Bernards, little crabs carried around in their whisky casks
-There is a sort of beetle called a cockchafer - do not want to encounter one of these - much more pleasant "hanneton" in French
-"Manchot", the word for penguin, is also the word for a one- or no-armed person
-This comic:
Hahahaha! The fly-sodomizer thing is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteThese are great. :)
ReplyDelete