Thursday, July 30, 2020

D6x6 Gnomic Gnomes

Got a soft spot for gnomes. Normally sickened by that HR-approved heckin wholesome smol bean chungus aesthetic, but with gnomes it’s subtly yet sufficiently different.

Random generator generator here:

D6These gnomes are said to be born
1from the dreams of animals hibernating beneath the earth.
2from old folk forgotten by their children.
3from halflings that overdosed on magic.
4from women who tell too many jokes while pregnant.
5from piles of leftover leather in cobblers’ shops.
6from a toad fucking a toadstool.
D6These gnomes are known for
1their mundane crafts of exquisite worksgnomeship.
2their impossible inventions that fall apart if examined or thought about too closely.
3the brewing of subtle wines and fierce spirits.
4being very hard to track down if they don’t want to be found.
5making the best fools and mummers.
6being enamoured with antiquities, especially old books.
D6An unusual feature of these gnomes
1is their little black eyes and their big round ears.
2is their mis-sized faces, which are either too big or too small for their heads.
3is their brightly twinkling eyes like gemstones.
4is their bulbous red noses covered in white spots.
5is their polydactylic hands and feet.
6is their long, long toes that curl up and in over their feet.
D6These gnomes’ inherent magic
1lets them speak with animals, trees, brooks, and other parts of the natural world, but only after they get themselves and their conversation partner drunk or high.
2can disguise themselves and their homes as boulders, grassy knolls, or other formations of dirt and stone so long as they remain perfectly still.
3can be used for minor feats of illusion and telekinesis, but if anyone is harmed by their magic that harm is returned threefold upon the gnome.
4can be extracted from their bodies by lethal alchemical processes, making them a target for unethical wizards and deeply suspicious of anyone wearing a pointy hat.
5is of a subtle sort that preserves the things they love, reducing the need for homekeeping, maintaining precious heirlooms, and sharing gnomish longevity with their friends and spouses.
6soaks into the places they live, awakening them to a kind of drowsy animation. Places they remain in and treat well will ward off the elements, warn them of intruders, provide food, and so on.
D6These gnomes must
1wear bright red hats to identify themselves when among bigger people, as they are believed to be shapeshifters.
2avoid excessively unpleasant feelings, as they suffer easily and deeply from psychosomatic diseases.
3take care to pay respect to the fickle spirits that follow them about.
4respond truthfully to a question if a question of theirs is answered honestly first.
5keep their promises, or else age a year and a day for breaking one.
6be buried in good loam when they die, or else return as infuriatingly mischievous poltergeists.
D6These gnomes are rumoured to
1dig under churches to steal their good silver.
2turn those who offend them into rats.
3fight secret wars against goblins in attics and basements.
4be spies for an invisible kingdom.
5be always born as twins, one gaunt and dour as the other is plump and cheery.
6be immune to the poisons and plagues that afflict humanity, and to use these things to atrocious effect in war and subterfuge.

1 comment:

  1. I keep thinking about how just this generator might create a basic for the whole mythology/magic system; each options implies so much of the bigger and wonderful world.
    Thank you very much.