Monday, July 13, 2020

Semiurge Reviews: Movies: 2

Watched a lot of movies this weekend.

Uncut Gems

This was made by the Safdie brothers. Safdie brothers, Coen brothers, Wachowski sisters, I think being siblings who make movies together is probably the comfiest life you could have in today's society.

An American adaption of the universally beloved manga Kaiji, set in the exotic vistas of New York City. Adam Sandler shows off his true power by convincingly playing a Jewish man from New York who is really into basketball. I saw someone comment that having a character named Kevin Garnett in a movie called Uncut Gems was too on the nose.

It's a recommend from me.


It's a live action battle royale/death game anime. Better than I thought it would be, teared up at one moment. If I was in this one I would rip an atrocious fart and everyone would vote to kill me.

Color Out of Space

My favourite of the batch. Lovecraft updated to the godless modern day as he's meant to be (Cthulhu is awake and it's already here). Doesn't quite stick the landing, at its best when it depicts the breakdown of the family as infrastructure, income, and health deteriorates. There's a scene with a vision of an alien world that someone absolutely decided to do after seeing that scene in Slither.

Await Further Instructions

Really good satirical horror, but gets too on the nose at the end. Can verge into uncomfortable anti-dad tropes at times so family men be warned.

The Fifth Element

A relic of a time when sci-fi/fantasy blockbusters could be good and not bad. All movies of this kind from here on out are going to be attempts to start franchises or drive them into the ground because Hollywood has forsaken the Muses for Mammon.

Dead Silence

I forget who wrote it but I think there's wisdom in the "raccoon principle" of horror. If a horror could be replaced by raccoons of sufficient size and number, just use the raccoons you hack. Horror should be about actually scary things, like puppets, ventriloquism, voice acting, and childless older women. A solid middle-of-the-road scary movie. If you've got nothing better to watch then Dead Silence is a good plan B.


Criminally underrated. If I receive a position of temporal power in this life I will make it criminal to underrate the movie Push.

It's about greasy expats in Hong Kong caught in a three-way between secret american government division and triads who scream real loud. We're all caught up in a web of past and future, the sins of our fathers, realpolitik, and how cool it would be to have psychic powers and not gambling debt.

The camera is shakier than I remember it being (back when Jason Bourne was big) so if you get motion sickness easily take some pepto bismol or something before watching.

Lost Highway

Buh buh buh isn't the intersection of memory, identity, and surveillance/digital technology fascinating buh buh buh isn't David Lynch such a prescient auteur buh buh buh. Got about 45 minutes into this one before getting bored and deciding to grill. Damn I love grilling.

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