D20x5 Genuine Giants

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Special thanks to Spwack for the table automator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	People say this giant is as big as...
1	A house.
2	Five men standing on top of each others’ shoulders.
3	A grain silo.
4	A windmill.
5	A wagon.
6	A galleon.
7	An elephant.
8	A blue whale.
9	A fort.
10	A mature redwood.
11	A clocktower.
12	A minaret.
13	A narcissist’s ego.
14	An inflated hot air balloon.
15	A mansion.
16	A bridge.
17	A ferris wheel.
18	God's pint glass.
19	An anaconda stood straight up.
20	A tavern.

D20	Besides their size, this giant looks odd because...
1	They’ve got no eyes on their head but one big bloodshot eye in the middle of their chest.
2	They’ve got a tufted tail as thick as their thigh which drags a furrow in the dirt behind them.
3	They’re covered in wiry hair everywhere but the skin between their brow and chin.
4	There’s a colony of sapient lice settled on their skin.
5	Their head’s three times larger than would be proportional, and teeters precariously on their skinny neck.
6	The back of their head is carved open. They’ve taken their brain out and buried it in a bubbling cauldron. So long as the cauldron’s hot they can dream their body back into existence if their current one is killed. Dying’s the only way they can sleep now, and rotting giant-flesh litters their territory. Follow the smell of cooking headcheese to find the cauldron.
7	Their belly bulges with everything they’ve ever eaten. It digests nothing, simply holding it indefinitely.
8	A pair of antlers sprouts from their brows. Animals serve the giant out of fear.
9	They’ve got one elephantine leg. They hop and bound to get around.
10	They’ve got three heads with separate personalities, one calm, one furious, one treacherous. Most of the time only one is awake.
11	They’ve got 2d4 pairs of arms.
12	Their skin is segmented steel, all but untouchable save for a bare spot at the small of their back.
13	Their flesh appears swollen and veiny to the point of bursting. They can shrink down to human size, but will then appear unnaturally wrinkled for their age.
14	Their ears hang down past their shoulders, and they can wave them about to kick up a windstorm.
15	Their nose is so big it's pushed all their other features to the edge of their face. With it they can smell things like lies and one's nationality.
16	Their skin is warty and green.
17	They've got a horrendous case of dandruff, and dunes of dead skin gather wherever they roam.
18	They've got minimal fat and muscle, so their skin looks shrinkwrapped around their skeleton.
19	Their skin is mottled and papery like a wasp’s nest. They contain endless legions of pests which will swarm out to defend the giant.
20	Their tongue is a hollow tube that can spit tonsil stones like cannonballs.

D20	This giant lives...
1	In a cloud they pull down to earth every night with a lasso.
2	Under a hollowed-out hill with entire trees stripped for support beams.
3	At the bottom of a pond. They can hold their breath for ages.
4	In an old marble quarry, with entire fields stripped of sod for its roof.
5	Under the arch of a cyclopean trilithon.
6	In the burned-out hulk of an ancient cathedral.
7	Like a horde of locusts, scouring everything edible in the path of its wanderings.
8	In a dam built by dire beavers.
9	In a swamp, wallowing in the mud.
10	In an oversized cottage on a basalt causeway.
11	In a manner that seems to satirize the excesses and rapacity of the upper class.
12	In a deep, dank cave.
13	In a shelter it dug out of a glacier.
14	In the dome of an astronomical. observatory on an isolated hilltop.
15	In a pile of wrecked boats on a beach.
16	To forget bad memories of the Gigantomachy.
17	In a barn strewn with the remains of the livestock that were once kept within.
18	Only to get drunk.
19	As the pampered living god of a strength-obsessed cult.
20	Within the bounds of a castle's enceinte.

D20	This giant wields...
1	A broom with thick and thorny branches for bristles.
2	A boulder carved crudely into the shape of their own screaming face.
3	A really, really big sack of turnips.
4	Only their own meaty fists.
5	A great bombard of a cannon.
6	The arm of a catapult, which they can bludgeon with or toss stones like an atlatl.
7	A long and ornate dining table it stole from a noble's manor.
8	A tree it tore from the ground.
9	The mast of a ship with a thousand nails stuck through it.
10	A great-horned stag, swinging it about by a hoof.
11	A makeshift sword hammered together from ploughs.
12	A stone spear chipped from the peak of a mountain.
13	A trumpet it can blow loudly enough to burst its enemies' blood vessels.
14	A millstone wrapped in a chain.
15	A club studded with the teeth and claws of bears.
16	The blade-bearing arm snapped off a bronze colossus.
17	A claw-footed bath filled with acid.
18	A bizarre polearm tipped with every weapon that failed to kill them.
19	A suitably-gigantic shovel. The masses of dirt and stone it flings can be as lethal as getting struck by it directly.
20	A water wheel.

D20	People want you to kill this giant because...
1	The giant’s lusty advances keep crushing their sheep.
2	They want a giant’s skull to decorate their town square.
3	The giant’s bellows keep them awake at night.
4	The giant is cursed, and brings blight wherever they go.
5	The giant’s extorting their entire harvest.
6	They think the giant’s got treasure they could steal while you’re busy fighting it.
7	The giant was one of them, once, but it committed a grave sin in return for power.
8	They think they can distill power from its blood.
9	Keeping it in check is occupying most of their military forces, and another enemy's keen to invade.
10	It reneged on its end of a construction contract with them.
11	It's scaring away merchants and impoverishing the region.
12	It takes shits down their chimneys for a laugh.
13	Many of their young, brave, and stupid have died attempting to.
14	They want their land to be immortalized in the legend of its slaying.
15	Their lord has promised them serious concessions if they get it done.
16	It's very rude and has hurt everyone's feelings.
17	They want to use its corpse as fertilizer.
18	They're paranoid that it's planning to wipe them out.
19	It made off with their prize pumpkin at last year's county fair.
20	They think it's a divine trial put before them to be conquered.