Saturday, September 24, 2022

D20x5 Genuine Giants

Click the button below for your very own giant:

D20People say this giant is as big as...
1A house.
2Five men standing on top of each others’ shoulders.
3A grain silo.
4A windmill.
5A wagon.
6A galleon.
7An elephant.
8A blue whale.
9A fort.
10A mature redwood.
11A clocktower.
12A minaret.
13A narcissist’s ego.
14An inflated hot air balloon.
15A mansion.
16A bridge.
17A ferris wheel.
18God's pint glass.
19An anaconda stood straight up.
20A tavern.
D20Besides their size, this giant looks odd because...
1They’ve got no eyes on their head but one big bloodshot eye in the middle of their chest.
2They’ve got a tufted tail as thick as their thigh which drags a furrow in the dirt behind them.
3They’re covered in wiry hair everywhere but the skin between their brow and chin.
4There’s a colony of sapient lice settled on their skin.
5Their head’s three times larger than would be proportional, and teeters precariously on their skinny neck.
6The back of their head is carved open. They’ve taken their brain out and buried it in a bubbling cauldron. So long as the cauldron’s hot they can dream their body back into existence if their current one is killed. Dying’s the only way they can sleep now, and rotting giant-flesh litters their territory. Follow the smell of cooking headcheese to find the cauldron.
7Their belly bulges with everything they’ve ever eaten. It digests nothing, simply holding it indefinitely.
8A pair of antlers sprouts from their brows. Animals serve the giant out of fear.
9They’ve got one elephantine leg. They hop and bound to get around.
10They’ve got three heads with separate personalities, one calm, one furious, one treacherous. Most of the time only one is awake.
11They’ve got 2d4 pairs of arms.
12Their skin is segmented steel, all but untouchable save for a bare spot at the small of their back.
13Their flesh appears swollen and veiny to the point of bursting. They can shrink down to human size, but will then appear unnaturally wrinkled for their age.
14Their ears hang down past their shoulders, and they can wave them about to kick up a windstorm.
15Their nose is so big it's pushed all their other features to the edge of their face. With it they can smell things like lies and one's nationality.
16Their skin is warty and green.
17They've got a horrendous case of dandruff, and dunes of dead skin gather wherever they roam.
18They've got minimal fat and muscle, so their skin looks shrinkwrapped around their skeleton.
19Their skin is mottled and papery like a wasp’s nest. They contain endless legions of pests which will swarm out to defend the giant.
20Their tongue is a hollow tube that can spit tonsil stones like cannonballs.
D20This giant lives...
1In a cloud they pull down to earth every night with a lasso.
2Under a hollowed-out hill with entire trees stripped for support beams.
3At the bottom of a pond. They can hold their breath for ages.
4In an old marble quarry, with entire fields stripped of sod for its roof.
5Under the arch of a cyclopean trilithon.
6In the burned-out hulk of an ancient cathedral.
7Like a horde of locusts, scouring everything edible in the path of its wanderings.
8In a dam built by dire beavers.
9In a swamp, wallowing in the mud.
10In an oversized cottage on a basalt causeway.
11In a manner that seems to satirize the excesses and rapacity of the upper class.
12In a deep, dank cave.
13In a shelter it dug out of a glacier.
14In the dome of an astronomical. observatory on an isolated hilltop.
15In a pile of wrecked boats on a beach.
16To forget bad memories of the Gigantomachy.
17In a barn strewn with the remains of the livestock that were once kept within.
18Only to get drunk.
19As the pampered living god of a strength-obsessed cult.
20Within the bounds of a castle's enceinte.
D20This giant wields...
1A broom with thick and thorny branches for bristles.
2A boulder carved crudely into the shape of their own screaming face.
3A really, really big sack of turnips.
4Only their own meaty fists.
5A great bombard of a cannon.
6The arm of a catapult, which they can bludgeon with or toss stones like an atlatl.
7A long and ornate dining table it stole from a noble's manor.
8A tree it tore from the ground.
9The mast of a ship with a thousand nails stuck through it.
10A great-horned stag, swinging it about by a hoof.
11A makeshift sword hammered together from ploughs.
12A stone spear chipped from the peak of a mountain.
13A trumpet it can blow loudly enough to burst its enemies' blood vessels.
14A millstone wrapped in a chain.
15A club studded with the teeth and claws of bears.
16The blade-bearing arm snapped off a bronze colossus.
17A claw-footed bath filled with acid.
18A bizarre polearm tipped with every weapon that failed to kill them.
19A suitably-gigantic shovel. The masses of dirt and stone it flings can be as lethal as getting struck by it directly.
20A water wheel.
D20People want you to kill this giant because...
1The giant’s lusty advances keep crushing their sheep.
2They want a giant’s skull to decorate their town square.
3The giant’s bellows keep them awake at night.
4The giant is cursed, and brings blight wherever they go.
5The giant’s extorting their entire harvest.
6They think the giant’s got treasure they could steal while you’re busy fighting it.
7The giant was one of them, once, but it committed a grave sin in return for power.
8They think they can distill power from its blood.
9Keeping it in check is occupying most of their military forces, and another enemy's keen to invade.
10It reneged on its end of a construction contract with them.
11It's scaring away merchants and impoverishing the region.
12It takes shits down their chimneys for a laugh.
13Many of their young, brave, and stupid have died attempting to.
14They want their land to be immortalized in the legend of its slaying.
15Their lord has promised them serious concessions if they get it done.
16It's very rude and has hurt everyone's feelings.
17They want to use its corpse as fertilizer.
18They're paranoid that it's planning to wipe them out.
19It made off with their prize pumpkin at last year's county fair.
20They think it's a divine trial put before them to be conquered.

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