Click the button below for your very own alien abductee generated from the tables below:
D20 | This alien abductee is |
---|
1 | a skinny old trucker with a perpetually-sunburned face. |
2 | a gardener with a droopy moustache, and uncanny knowledge of everything scandalous going on in the neighbourhoods where he works. |
3 | a nasally-voiced day labourer who pounds back excessively-caffeinated energy drinks. |
4 | a portly plumber with an MMO addiction. |
5 | a crossfit-evangelizing programmer with terrible posture. |
6 | a trophy wife who's secretly getting into DIY body mods. |
7 | an accountant going through their mid-life crisis, stoked that something interesting finally happened to them. |
8 | the owner-operator of a fruit salad/poke bowl food truck. |
9 | a crustpunk who spends most of their time climbing trees. |
10 | a commercial actor who struggles getting roles so deals coke on the side. |
11 | a liquor store cashier with an extensive collection of horror movies and associated props. |
12 | the owner of a boat dealership who talks faster and faster when they get excited until they're speaking gibberish. |
13 | a line chef with bad tattoos who chews gum aggressively. |
14 | a farmer currently engaged in a lawsuit against a biotech firm. |
15 | a taxidermist whose Etsy business has really shot up since they started putting together chimeras inspired by their abduction. |
16 | a pimply warehouse worker convinced their abduction was related to their push to unionize. |
17 | a mechanical watch repairman who builds Rube Goldberg machines as a hobby. |
18 | a wedding photographer who dresses like a cowboy. |
19 | a former investment banker living large off a fat insurance payout for severe anxiety. |
20 | a fidgety mailman barely keeping his head above water on child support payments. |
D20 | This alien abductee describes their abductor(s) as: |
---|
1 | "crocodiles with the faces of presidents, hopping around like kangaroos". |
2 | "glowing balls of light connected by sunbeams". |
3 | "a great black triangle that spoke through my bones". |
4 | "metal drums with red eyes and claws like a crab". |
5 | "an ocean of amniotic fluid with fetal leviathans swimming within". |
6 | "worms made of braided spines". |
7 | "onion-headed skeletons in silver jumpsuits". |
8 | "one-eyed albino giants". |
9 | "old-timey outfits with no one wearing them". |
10 | "angels made of tie-dye patterns". |
11 | "the wandering ghosts of dead stars". |
12 | "pools of oil that could move and think on its own". |
13 | "plastic mannequins with something dark and wet between their seams". |
14 | "like a whole bunch of purple shrimp tried to stack themselves into an even bigger shrimp". |
15 | "entities made out of scents and memories instead of flesh and blood". |
16 | "things with faces like a cluster of goat horns, and beaks on the ends of their tails". |
17 | "floating golden cubes that moved things without touching them". |
18 | "eyeless, earless hippoes with whole cities in their mouths". |
19 | "trees with hands for leaves and teeth in their roots". |
20 | "upside-down octopi squeezed into an icecream cone". |
D20 | This alien abductee believes they were abducted |
---|
1 | so their gametes could be harvested to create a race of human-alien hybrids. |
2 | to test out anti-human weaponry, and that they are a clone of their original self, who was killed in the testing. |
3 | to serve as a consultant on Earthly matters to the supreme galactic council. |
4 | so that the aliens could cut out a part of their brain that understood cosmic secrets. |
5 | as a prank by some extraterrestrial frat. |
6 | so that the benevolent aliens could cure them of chronic Lyme. |
7 | to fight in gladiatorial arenas for the amusement of an interstellar emperor. |
8 | so that their genes and memes could be preserved in an extrasolar ark. |
9 | in order to trap their mind in a virtual simulation - which they believe themself to still be in. |
10 | due to a case of mistaken identity. |
11 | to serve as a judge on an alien game show. |
12 | to save their life from a car accident that would cut short their important role in human history. |
13 | to make sure the aliens' systems were idiot-proof (with them as the idiot). |
14 | so that parts of their organs could be extracted and prepared as an alien delicacy. |
15 | because their latent psychic abilities acted as a beacon among the stars. |
16 | because they're really an alien soul trapped in a human body. |
17 | because they unwittingly won a raffle for an all-expenses-paid vacation to another planet. |
18 | to serve as a witness in an enigmatic criminal trial. |
19 | so that their bodily fluids could be drained as an emergency fuel source for the alien vessel. |
20 | to help a ragtag band of rebels overthrow the tyrannical robber baron of some far-flung nebula. |
D20 | This alien abductee has |
---|
1 | a spiral-shaped scar on their abdomen. |
2 | something silvery visible behind the pupil of their left eye. |
3 | a cyst on the back of their neck that leaks metal-dissolving pus. |
4 | the inexplicable and unerring ability to predict the position of celestial objects. |
5 | a tooth that wriggles in its socket when exposed to strong electromagnetic fields. |
6 | complex, abstract brands on their backs that nauseate you if you stare at them too long. |
7 | had a sociopathic alternate personality implanted in their brain that will activate to protect the aliens' secrets, killing if necessary. |
8 | Wolverine claws implanted in their arms that spring out if their life is threatened. |
9 | acquired an immunity to radiation sickness and damage. |
10 | occasional, distracting clairvoyant visions of ancient sites like Stonehenge and some field where a Roman garum factory once stood. |
11 | the inconvenient habit of levitating in their sleep. |
12 | a lens stuck under the skin of their right index finger that can shoot a powerful laser beam. |
13 | become patient zero and a carrier for a slow-acting yet malignant plague. |
14 | been dreaming of the memories of people abducted in past decades, centuries, even millennia. |
15 | been stalked by camera-headed owls that nobody else can see. |
16 | been respawning like a character in a video game when they die, though this has left their own corpse behind. |
17 | a projector in their collar bone that can create life-like holograms. |
18 | an anti-matter bomb embedded in their chest that will explode based on uncertain conditions. |
19 | had some of their nervous system replaced with wires that can directly interface with machinery. |
20 | an aura that wilts plants in their vicinity. |
D20 | This alien abductee has garnered attention from |
---|
1 | a racist militia that buys into von Liebenfels' Theozoology. |
2 | a video streamer and their audience, who harass the abductee daily. |
3 | a big mainstream media reporter, who sees them as an exemplar of the irrationality of the post-Trump era. |
4 | a bored FBI agent. |
5 | a bunch of online idiots planning to invade Area 51. |
6 | a conman who thinks they're suggestible enough to make a big score off of. |
7 | a space-obsessed suicide cult that sees the abductee as their messiah. |
8 | a crank archeologist who believes in the ancient aliens hypothesis and wants the abductee to verify their latest find. |
9 | CIA spooks who think they're a Chinese spy speaking in code. |
10 | a washed-up former cosmonaut who was also abducted by aliens during a clandestine mission. |
11 | an alien living in disguise on Earth who thinks the abductee is their ticket off this rock. |
12 | an indie director who wants to make a movie about them. |
13 | an alcoholic, religious fundamentalist relative of theirs who believes they were taken by demons and wants to save them from the demons' influence. |
14 | an eccentric Silicon Valley billionaire who wants the abductee to facilitate contact between them and the aliens. |
15 | a violently-jealous amateur astronomer who witnessed their abduction but believes it should've been them who got to experience a close encounter of the fourth kind. |
16 | a dishonourably discharged navy captain who thinks the government's covering up a massive UFO conspiracy. |
17 | a celebrity psychiatrist looking to make a spectacle of "curing" the abductee of their "delusion". |
18 | a mediocre young adult novelist disingenuously accusing the abductee of plagiarizing one of their stories. |
19 | a serial killer who targets people with alien abduction stories. |
20 | sapient and technologically-advanced descendants of dinosaurs hidden deep within the Earth, ancient rivals of the aliens who abducted them. |
No comments:
Post a Comment