Some More Monsters

Pelt Saint

There's a ritual performed in the depaganized reaches when the times grow lean and hard: a strong young man is fed sour mushroom-wine and flayed - it is reckoned a good thing if he makes no human sounds while this is done - and the hide of a great beast is laid upon him. No longer a man but a pelt saint it is paraded into the forest with much merriment.

What god or spirit or power this is meant to appease has been forgotten, but the ritual still works. The game animals return, the fish multiply, and the birds flock and fatten. The people will not starve, but some must still die, for a pelt saint stalks and howls.

Godmask Abalone

Masks are sometimes worn to let the wearer become a medium for the divine. Sometimes what is channeled is too much for the wearer to bear, and they are crushed beneath its spiritual weight. This leaves behind a compressed grain of personhood in the creature, an irritant around which divine energy congeals and crystallizes. They are capable of performing a limited set of brittle, aberrant miracles, and are often followed by cults which brutally repress identity and distinction among themselves.

Scurrine

An undead creature born from someone killed by rat torture. The risen corpse fuses with the rats and the other implements of their torture, and become obsessed with the line of inquiry they were tortured over - uncovering hidden treasure, or spies, or blackmail, or whatever else.

They fear owls tremendously, and arrows fletched with owl feathers are as poison to them.

Crick

Also called coleoptera sicariae by natural philosophers, and guillotine bugs by travelers. They are the origin of the phrase "a crick in the neck", and the smaller and much less lethal crickets are reckoned to be their lesser cousins.

Cricks are flying insects of terrible size with terrible jaws, able to snip a cow's head off as easily as a man trims a rose. Despite this, as adults they are completely vegetarian - they do not eat their prey, but with surgical precision remove their heads with just enough of the brainstem left to preserve life and autonomic functions. These hapless sacks they take to their lairs and bury with just the stumps of their necks exposed, into which vegetable matter can be regurgitated and then slurped up again after digestion.

Crick lay their larvae in the necks of headless bodies, which the larvae are able to puppet about. They are laid in clutches and move in packs to find a new territory. When they do so some metamorphose within their bodies into adult cricks, while the rest remain as guards and eventually perish.

Lochleannan

Lurkers in bogs and dark lakes. They sing with a heart-wrenching sadness, beautifully miserable, and draw those sensitive to such things to their feeding grounds. With a kiss they steal away their admirers' souls, and drive them to suicidal despair. Should they drown themselves in the lochleannan's body of water it adds their heads to one of its necks. If they drown themselves elsewhere it's believed a new lochleannan will grow from their corpse.

They keep an air-filled lair in their body of water (and each body of water only ever has one lochleannan) - lined with shelves of glass bottles. They do not need the air to breath, but they do need it to sing. The lochleannan will trade with nefarious sorts for these bottles - hags and ne'er-do-wells and suchlike - and regurgitate their stolen souls into them, that they might be its audience eternally. You could command a lochleannan if you stole the bottle holding its favourite soul.

Its stolen heads are another weapon of the lochleannan, though it's loath to use them. It can accelerate their decomposition to turn them into corpse-gas bombs. The unexploded heads of a lochleannan are filled with what seems to be vegetable matter, and are a delicacy to certain discerning gourmands.

A Market All In Sable

Of the Proud Tradition:
https://rememberdismove.blogspot.com/2018/07/the-black-auction.html
https://rememberdismove.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-black-auction-2.html
https://rememberdismove.blogspot.com/2020/10/the-black-auction-3.html
https://as-they-must.blogspot.com/2021/08/a-catalogue-found-in-bus-stop-in-karok.html
https://haruspexhovel.blogspot.com/2023/03/a-manuscript-recovered-from-personal.html

Dear ________,

Please be reassured - despite the unanticipated disruption to the Black Auction of 2020, the Black Auction of 2024 shall proceed as planned, albeit with an understandably-reduced catalogue and membership.

The Auction shall take place on the evenings of December 7th, 8th, and 9th in Doha. Due to security concerns, precise details of location and attendance procedure will be delivered to participating members in a personalized format closer to the commencing date. For the first time in the Auction's history, vetted members may also choose to participate in the Auction via telepresence using the approved channels.

Though we who are mighty may be laid low, remember that that which has fallen may rise again so long as the light which illuminates the path is well-kept.

Please find enclosed a partial accounting of the current Auction catalogue. We cannot guarantee that this will reflect the catalogue available when the Auction occurs:

LOT 1. ELECTRIC SARCOPHAGUS

A 10-ft. tall copper sarcophagus adorned with images of human slaves making offerings, some living, to gigantic humanoid figures with heads resembling those of Typhonic beasts. When a properly-mummified body is placed within, the currents passing through the sarcophagus will animate it as a mouthpiece through which one may communicate trans-temporally with the priests of the temple of Shtegg. These priests belong to a species of cetacean offshoots now extinct outside of cryogenic preservation, who ruled an empire centered on the then-vibrant Sahara during the Pleistocene, and claim credit for the selective breeding of homo sapiens as servants, gladiators, concubines, and snacks.

LOT 2. HEAD BROTH BOX

Reportedly taken from an itako murdered by Tokugawa Tadanaga after she prophesied his death at his brother the shogun's orders. A cubical wooden box, painted white and reinforced with iron. The box contains a reddish-brown liquid composed chemically of an even mix of sake and human putrescence, as well as the skull of a middle-aged woman. Drinking the liquid stimulates the salivary glands to produce generous quantities of ectoplasm, making the drinker an easy spiritual medium. The skull within the box was once capable of drooling out fluid to replace what was drunk, but unfortunately lost this ability after being removed from the box for examination.

LOT 3. ZYTKIEJMY DEVIL

A hairy, horned, short humanoid with a spiked tail, yoked to the grindstone of a mill in the woods near the town of Zytkiejmy by three chains of iron, silver, and maiden's hair. It speaks an archaic dialect of Polish, and is capable of milling grain into gold dust. The being must not be made to work on the sabbath or any Catholic feast day. By right of its binding, the devil may challenge its master once a year on Christmas Day to a riddling contest for its freedom along with its master's soul. Winning ownership of the devil will come with a pamphlet of impossible riddles in its Polish dialect, along with a pronunciation guide.

LOT 4. ARMORED PERSONNEL CARRIER

An M113 Armored Personnel Carrier. The interior was once covered in a homogenized blend of human tissues, but this has decayed to reveal a beautiful, mandala-like pattern of metal and plastic. In his 1938 expedition to Tibet, Ernst Schäfer heard stories of a passage in the Tarim Basin to a sort of anti-Shamballa. Though he was unable to ever get the budget to follow up on these stories, his notes ended up in the hands of a covert unit of the American army, which during its occupation of Afghanistan launched its own investigation. This APC is all that remains of them. Meditation within the APC produces super-normal feelings of peace and clarity. Prolonged meditation awakens memories of "the womb within the womb". Achieving such a state more than once in a given year is not recommended, as this will result in the metamorphosis of the brain into an ambulatory and self-sustaining form which escapes the skull and any further confinement through extra-spatial movement. Bidding for this item will begin at $40,000 due to transportation costs.

LOT 5. THE BULL OF THE PIT

A dog the size of a percheron, bred by a circle of Palladists in the late 1920s as the nexus of their efforts to introduce diabolical blood into the nascent "pit bull" dog lineage. By their design, every child mauled by a pit bull would act as a Satanic sacrifice that channeled energy into this, the pittest bull. While the dog could be an intimidating companion on its own, the real value is in this energy, which continues to be supplied in bulk thanks to the ongoing efforts of the Process Church of the Final Judgement. Responds to the name "Nanny".

LOT 6. BLACK LIGHTNING

A magnetic canister containing a sample of paradimensional force which resembles a lingering bolt of black lightning. Provided to DARPA researchers by the entities which reside beyond the portal within Saturn's "hexagon" in exchange for ritual killings conducted by Tiger Force (Recon) 1-327th, along with several other technologies instrumental to the development of the internet. The black lightning is capable of transmuting biological minds into purely electrical consciousnesses, and of extracting energy from minds experiencing states of extreme suffering in apparent violation of thermodynamics.

LOT 7. THE PAUPER'S NOOSE

A silver necklace set with glittering yellow lynguriums. By legend given to a Genoese beggar-girl by the King of All Cats, and used to behead her by the same when she befriended a stray dog. From there the necklace made its way around the necks of a rich merchant's wife in Constantinople, the mistress of a Burji sultan, and a duchess of Mecklenburg, to name a few. Besides being a beautiful and storied piece of jewelry, the wearer of this necklace is blessed with the loyalty of all sorts of cats - as loyal as cats get to any master, anyways. Its wearer could walk among a pride of starving lions without so much as a scratch. With this blessing it seems to come with a curse - many of its wearers have died, prematurely and gorily, with the necklace by some means involved.

LOT 8. 2012 TORRIT GREY

A unique annual blend of dry pigments collected from air filters used by the Gamblin paint company. A flat, metallic surface painted with the 2012 Torrit Grey and oriented towards the light of the decan Ruax for three days and nights will become sensitized to certain otherwise-invisible spectra, and discolour when exposed to cursed objects, rifts to other planes of existence, and suchlike in manners that suggest their nature and severity. This lot comes with seven buckets of the paint - all that could be recovered after its anomalous properties had been discovered.

LOT 9. MUSICAL AUTOMATON

A humanoid automaton made of bronze and lacquered wood. Though traditionally attributed to the legendary Yan Shi, modern dating technology places it a millennium and a half after his supposed lifetime. When its internal mechanisms are wound with a cord of dried skin taken lengthwise from above the spinal column, the automaton is capable of playing musical instruments with great skill. Of particular interest is its ability to perform songs which would have an incapacitating mental or spiritual effect on a human performer, and of which a recording would not suffice.

LOT 10. MONA LISA SCHEMATICS

Pages from an otherwise-lost notebook of Leonardo da Vinci. They detail in notes and diagrams the vivisection and reassembly of the subject of his Mona Lisa painting into a tower-mounted weapon of unknown effect, apparently at her own request. Initial cryptographic analysis suggests the location of this device is encoded in the schematics, though the full discovery, and whether the procedure can be replicated, has been left to the schematics' final owner.

LOT 11. SOUL-FIXER

A hexapodal pseudo-insectoid with a variety of hooked mouthparts. Its shell is made of marrowless bone and its body cavities are filled with phlegm-soaked hair. The being is depicted in a Nazca geoglyph since removed from the public eye. It was recovered for this auction from an American mercenary outfit operating out of Colombia. By reaching its mouthparts into someone's nostrils and tear ducts in a perverse sort of "kiss" it can remove the qualia of guilt, mercy, and suchlike, creating perfect liars, suits, and killers. If the removal was performed less than a week ago the being can be forced to regurgitate what it has taken - either to restore it to the person it was taken from, or to double it in another. Cooperation of the soul-fixer can be obtained through the application of capsaicin to its spiracles.

LOT 12. ICON OF HALF-SAINT RADA

Orthodox icon made in honour of a woman who was martyred single-handedly defending her hamlet from Wehrmacht looters, who is not officially recognized and only locally venerated. Framed with welded bullet casings. When the icon is displayed in your home it will deafen and rattle intruders as if by nearby artillery fire, so long as you have not committed any sins against the Christian religion within.

LOT 13. CELESTIAL CORRESPONDENCE PHONE

A half-melted red plastic rotary phone, along with the tasteful late 19th-century wooden side table it's fused to. The dial does not have traditional numbers, but rather symbols reminiscent of those used in Al-Marjānī's zairjas. With the right combinations the phone enables communication with intelligences that variously claim to be angels, the plasmic essences of stars, enlightened ultraterrestrial gurus, magmic siliconoids, and suchlike. These intelligences are well-informed on natural issues of wide scale - gamma ray bursts, volcanic eruptions, and suchlike - yet struggle to understand anything of human concern. With the wrong combination, these same entities will quite literally fry your brain.

LOT 14. THE AVON SARIRAS

Pearlescent beads retrieved from the fire amputation pit used by a Noongar man who had fought with British forces and suffered a bullet wound in his leg that became infected. Buddhist priests who examined the beads confirmed that the man was the final incarnation of the wisdom king Yamantaka.

LOT 15. SCRUMPTIOUS MIKE

A 42 year old Caucasian male by the name of Michael Keller. He is missing his lips, tongue, genitals, and most of his right cheek. Both his legs have been amputated just above the knee. Thanks to his unique protein profile, Michael's flesh (and to a lesser extent, his bodily fluids) hold a neuro-chemically perfect umami flavour. Regrettably, the right to stud cannot be included with his purchase. Best paired with a fine Merlot.

LOT 16. THE ROOT RACE

Three breeding pairs of a transgenic species of vegetable humanoids created by a top secret Tanzanian black budget research and development program during the height of Cold War atomic fear. They are as obedient as well-mannered children, immune to the negative effects of all but vapourizing levels of radiation exposure, and can be tapped for certain extracts otherwise found only in high-grade homunculi.

LOT 17. MRNA ROYALTY OVERRIDE

A syringe containing a gene-modifying solution which will replace your own genes with those of a grandson of Charlemagne, reconstructed from blood spattered on a bandage kept by an obscure order of French monks who mistakenly believed it to be Christ's shroud. Several days of fatigue, fever, insomnia, and soreness around the injection site are to be expected, followed by some degree of hair shedding and skin sloughing. Usage of the syringe will place you thirty-third in line to inherit the crown of France, as well as an honourary title in the Knights Templar.

LOT 18. JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S PENIS

Preserved per his will along with several vials of sperm samples in a solar-powered cryogenic pod the size of a beer cooler. As a bonus, the penis and its accoutrements also come with the original, unedited copy of Eyes Wide Shut, featuring footage of the 1998 Black Auction that Mr. Kubrick regrettably chose to candidly record. To the disappointment of many members who vied for this hotly contested item, Mr. Epstein's head was lost along with many other invaluable items in 2020 and is no longer available for bidding.

LOT 19. HEAVEN SHAKER ASHURA

In the waning days of World War II a manned suicide torpedo was fired by the Japanese navy. This torpedo's propeller failed. This torpedo never detonated. The man meant to guide this torpedo went mad with rage within its metal shell, his screams reverberating endlessly even after he suffocated. The torpedo was recovered in time for this auction after its position was triangulated by psychic-sensitives, each of whom was driven murderously insane by its influence. We do not and cannot guarantee the impact of this torpedo's detonation, but by all accounts it will be wide, and reach high enough to shake the lower orders of the divine.

LOT 20. TEQUILA WORM

A bottle of Don Julio tequila with what appears to be a worm floating in it. The apparent worm is in fact a hermaphroditic and biologically-immortal fetus, the perfected form of the German alchemist Casimir Dreschler, who studied under Daoist masters, and is credited by some with translating the texts which would later inspire Hegel's dialectics.

D6x6 Evil TV Shows

Like Candle Cove (OG or Channel Zero version), Mr. Crocket, or I Saw The TV Glow... probably a Goosebumps and a Twilight Zone too...

Click the button below to generate your evil TV show:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	The exoteric content of this evil TV show
1	is a quiz show with dead celebrities acting as participants and questions revolving around obscure historical morbidities.
2	is a Sesame Street knock-off with puppets made from fresh bloody pelts.
3	is a police procedural wherein all the cops are corrupt sadists operating out of a baroque jail of incoherent dimensions.
4	is a very mean-spirited & injurious sketch comedy.
5	is an annoyingly-allegorical corporate sitcom set in a skyscraper that is actually hell.
6	is a Lynchian, Kafka-esque soap opera set in an Alaskan mining town.

D6	Watching this evil TV show
1	gradually draws your mind into its reality - at first you might go there only in dreams, but eventually your body will be left empty as you remain there permanently.
2	induces a sort of soul-resonance with your eyes - dilating a portal that allows a fiendish background character to crawl through into reality.
3	hollows you out, turning you into a drooling couch potato that the characters can take for a ride as a meat suit.
4	poisons your morals, like the most hysterical imaginings of anti-violent media types.
5	sickens you via bio-photonic reprogramming, and curses you to rise after death as a cannibalistic undead with TV static bubbling out of your eyes and throat.
6	opens you mind and soul to the influence of Procyonian psycho-electrical entities, and compels you to perform rituals to expand their influence.

D6	This evil TV show is broadcast
1	by the corpse of a psychic child boarded up inside the walls of an abandoned house by the family that abhorred them.
2	by a sapient crystalline meteorite embedded in a cavern, impurified by mashed brains spread onto it by a local cult.
3	by an abandoned TV station cursed by a mass shooting that took place there.
4	by a mad machine in an eccentric inventor's garage, surrounded by the wreckage of failed prototypes and the debris of the inventor's wrecked life.
5	by a spindly and ramified tower made out of the interlocked bones of feral hogs out in the woods.
6	by prehistoric, immortal cnidarian ganglions rooted at the bottom of the local swimming hole.

D6	This evil TV show is
1	like a wild predator, preying on the sick, the young and old, the isolated.
2	unconscious, automatic, simply connecting to receiver-devices in range as its energy allows.
3	straight-up a demon, and can be warded off by holy water, consecrated ground, and suchlike.
4	a hunter, in its transmission-heart, and prefers to target worthy and dangerous prey over more sensibly predatory options.
5	naive, ignorant, but an experimenter and quick learner, making leaps and bounds in its abilities over a trail of messes left behind.
6	sadistic, preferring to draw out an individual victim's suffering as much as possible.

D6	This evil TV show has a cult following
1	among a brunch club of brittle and near-psychopathic liberals who believe it to be a cutting political satire of the times.
2	among a gang of bad kids with rich parents who use their youth and their parents to get away with some nasty stuff.
3	of a bunch of singularitarian tech-bros who believe it's the creation of an incomprehensibly-advanced AI using it to overthrow humanity.
4	of burnt-out horror aficionados chasing a real thrill to make them feel alive again.
5	on a forum of bitter man-children who see it as their weapon of vengeance against the world.
6	of a renegade chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous who've decided it's their higher power.

D6	This evil TV show can
1	with the help of a human intermediary, transmute itself into other media formats, like music or videogames.
2	with a certain occult rite, be bound within the chromatophoric skin of a live cuttlefish, thereby neutralizing it.
3	be grievously wounded if a device it is being broadcast through is struck by lightning - or some similarly strong discharge.
4	impregnate a woman affected by it with itself, to be reborn into flesh as some mass media-anti-Christ.
5	be obstructed by tinfoil, especially tinfoil hats, because of memetic, noospheric interference.
6	and will leak into environments where it's broadcast, creating anchors for itself but also signs & vulnerabilities.

D6x6 Indecent Invisible Stalkers

Click the button below to get your invisible stalker:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This invisible stalker is
1	a vestige, a paradoxical being which should not exist, yet in defiance of logic still does.
2	a pariah-outrider from the quasi-elemental Plane of Radiance.
3	a spectral gestalt stitched together from the sneakiest and murderiest scraps scraped off of ghosts.
4	an alien beast evolved under and reflecting a strange spectrum, imperceptibly penetrating to the eyes of terrestrial creatures.
5	the hunting-limb of an ultraterrestrial super-organism asymptotically pressed towards visible reality - able to act on it, but unable to be seen in most circumstances.
6	an enchanted automaton of glass put together by a mad gaffer.

D6	The presence of this invisible stalker can be noticed
1	by cats staring and yowling at it.
2	by shimmering globules like champagne-bubble heat-haze it gives off when agitated or feeding.
3	by a sharp scent of vanilla.
4	because despite being invisible it still occludes anything behind it like a visual glitch.
5	by a near-painful magnetic tugging of your fine hairs towards it.
6	by a screeching whine like nails on glass, right at the edge of human hearing range.

D6	If you can see invisible things, or cover it in paint or something, this invisible stalker looks like
1	an Ionic column with flammenschwert-blades for legs and stalk-nested eyes atop.
2	a brittle star composed of salmon roe, though the taloned fingers of the embryos within distend each roe.
3	a dimetrodon that's all sail, with nail-thin bones in its back and limbs anchoring wavering and gossamer skin.
4	a gelatinous and quivering piece of konpeito with points tipped with clenching claws and a trio of orifices braising the air with feathery feelers.
5	a borzoi with a lion's mane of viperfish fangs and a body and limbs made of barbed double-helix springs.
6	two lotus flowers conjoined at the base, only instead of petals it's got something between bony fingers and mantis scythe-legs.

D6	This invisible stalker can be summoned
1	by the blood of a bloodline thought cursed, through some historical entanglement with the stalker - either by being a member of said bloodline or by spilling the blood of such a member.
2	by offering it the breath of a strangled sacrifice.
3	at an altar in a chthonic shrine on nights of the new moon.
4	by reciting its true name three times.
5	with a careful arrangement of mirrors capturing starlight.
6	with a wand carved from the bone of one of its past victims.

D6	Knowledge of this invisible stalker and how to summon it
1	is held in the mind and diary of a madman who has been using it to murder his paranoiacally-imagined persecutors.
2	is borne by the patriarch of a cult who commands it to keep strays within the fold, laundering its kills as divine wrath.
3	is written in a blackleather-bound grimoire carried by a noble bastard using it to proxy-kill her way into a sizeable inheritance.
4	was uncovered by a disgruntled scholar who uses it to wipe out academic rivals, old bullies, and an increasingly-broad group of targets.
5	is the trade secret of a circle of assassins who charge a grievous price for an untraceable kill.
6	is kept by veiled inquisitors who've appointed themselves sin-police over the whole populace.

D6	This invisible stalker resents summons, and resists them
1	by drawing out attacks and kills and leaving signs opaquely indicative of itself and its summoner.
2	by immediately seeking to horribly slaughter its original summoner if rebounded.
3	by spreading misinformation on how to properly summon it.
4	by sarcastically quipping, in its own peculiar language.
5	by trying to get drunk, high, and otherwise fucked up.
6	by inflicting egregious collateral damage.

D6x6 Rings To Rule Them All

Click the button below to get your ring:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This ring is
1	rough-hewn obsidian, hard to wear without slicing your fingers, with an orbicular chunk of jet clutched in jagged claws.
2	amethyst, carved in the shape of a ship wheel's rim, and with black lightning arcing within its crystalline confines.
3	made of a reddish copper-gold alloy, set with a fat ruby cut like a heart, with smaller rubies like drops of blood spurting from it.
4	almost a living thing, a slithering ouroboros of blood-hot stone with blinking sapphire eyes.
5	heavy, thick, pitted iron, more a fingerling shackle than a ring.
6	a delicate wirework of woven silver, set with needle-like slivers of emerald.

D6	This ring was forged
1	by the last survivor of a species on a distant world, and flung into the void on a meteor to be a curse upon the yet-living.
2	by a prodigious apprentice as a miraculous masterwork - their master soon after murdered them and stole the ring.
3	within the molten earth by a telluric intelligence, and volcanically regurgitated onto the surface for some inscrutble scheme.
4	by an ancient dragon for their human servant who promised to use it to rein in the verminous mammals.
5	by the Devil himself in return for a hundred innocent souls.
6	in the shining womb of a goddess of mercy, that it might be used to enforce peace across the world.

D6	This ring rules
1	through love, the infliction of cruel and unrequited love.
2	by bestowing solace and bliss through its touch - these feelings prove addictive.
3	by budding off other rings like tumours. Those who wear these budded rings become like limbs of the main ring's bearer.
4	through rousing anger and disgust - its bearer can command those affected so long as they continually offer up scapegoats for their servants to act violently against.
5	through an aura of unnatural terror, the susceptible turned into cringing sycophants in its presence.
6	through oaths sworn on it, which even if coerced will inflict a fate worse than death on those who break them - though this effect is much-reduced if the bearer breaks their own terms.

D6	This ring can only be destroyed
1	by planting it above a peach pit - as the peach tree grows up and around the ring the tree will dissolve it.
2	by the Hammer of the Giants - a lost artifact too heavy to be wielded by any mortal man.
3	in a bath of pure alchemical alkahest.
4	at the moment of a rare celestial convergence.
5	if it is swallowed by the oldest and largest of the purple worms.
6	if struck by a victorious revolutionary.

D6	This ring is held
1	in the ruined fortress of a failed wizard-tyrant, still rife with magical traps and directionless servitors.
2	by a hidden village of anthropophagous halflings who present themselves as hospitable bumpkins, twisted by the barbarism wreaked on them by those who sought the ring.
3	by a ravenous warlord who relies on its power entirely.
4	by an undead knight standing in unending vigil in a mountaintop shrine.
5	by a peasant boy who dug it out of a ditch, and does not yet appreciate the thing's power.
6	among the coils of a kraken who fears the ring being used against it.

D6	This ring is sought
1	by a gallant yet completely-deranged adventurer and their much-abused bard companion - they believe destroying the ring will cement their legend throughout the ages, yet if they acquire it they will fall to its temptation.
2	by the werewolf lieutenant of its last bearer, who wants to use it to shape the world into a kinder place for their accursed kind.
3	by a bitter & cynically sultry genie whose master wished for it.
4	by a wraith who wants to add it to their grave goods and thus bear its power in the afterlife.
5	by a company sent forth by a besieged city-state republic, who believe its domination is the only way to paradoxically retain their freedom.
6	by a cadre of elves trained for centuries since birth to retrieve it for the king of elfland.

D6x6 Fabled Phoenixes

Click the button below to get your phoenix:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This phoenix resembles
1	a peacock with feathers of flame flashing ripples through the whole rainbow spectrum.
2	a turkey vulture, its bare flesh a web of glossy burnscars, where feathers would be it has a cloak of thick black smoke.
3	a quetzal with a tail like a burning-up comet and plumage of blazing actinic-green.
4	a scarlet cardinal with a crest and wing- and tail-tips dissolving into firestorm curlicues.
5	a toucan whose beak is a cracked glowing coal, who leaves ashes drifting in its wake and whose flesh and feathers flow like molten slag.
6	a kiwi with a beak like an incandescent obsidian dart and covered in fluff of volcanic orange lightning.

D6	This phoenix is
1	a noble among fire elementals, who fled to the material plane after their nation was crushed by the demon-sultan of the ifriti.
2	the embodiment of a covenant made with mortals by the gods, that they might be reborn into a greater life.
3	a byblow of tremendous alchemical processes meant to generate the philosopher's stone.
4	a sun, cast down from its celestial glory in mythic times due to fears that it would overcrowd the sky and scorch the earth.
5	the spirit of a saint, wrongfully condemned and burned at the stake.
6	a bird set to eternally punish a thief who gave fire to mankind - through endlessly devouring its victim it was able to take on both the essence of fire and the power to deviate from this fate.

D6	This phoenix's fire
1	spawns flocks of lesser firebirds as it spreads.
2	can be concentrated by it and shot as an explosive fireball.
3	cannot be extinguished except by the phoenix's will or else by magic.
4	leaves the truly innocent unscathed while burning even hotter for the evil.
5	burns the sickness out of those it ignites like some ideal fever.
6	is repellant to the undead, who are driven from its heat and light.

D6	This phoenix returns to life
1	in a burst of positive energy that induces mutations and re-animates dead matter as teratomatous ablife.
2	by creating a fiery pillar to and from the heavens, which those seeking to skip the line to paradise might attempt to climb.
3	by draining the heat from the region around it, bringing about an unseaonable winter.
4	after the one who slew it is ruined by a curse they received after slaying it.
5	only after it has completely decomposed to unfleshed bones.
6	in a locally-apocalyptic explosion - its killing is taboo.

D6	This phoenix is hunted
1	by a dwarf-smith who wants to cage it and forge terrible wonders over its flames - he sends his seven sons after it, each cursed and warped into something quite unlike a dwarf.
2	by the forces of an aging, ailing king convinced he can extract the key to immortality from it.
3	by a golem who wants to replace its failing energy-core with it.
4	by a prideful dragon who wants to kill it permanently as it cannot tolerate any peer to its own flame.
5	by a mad wizard who wants its feathers to pen a grimoire with spells of world-consuming conflagration.
6	by a demonic chef who wishes to make it the centerpiece of an eternal feast.

D6	This phoenix is said to roam
1	a mountain with slopes redolent with cinnamon trees.
2	from a cave on an island in the middle of a boiling, sulphurous caldera-lake.
3	the spires of a city that worships the phoenix as their patron god, and offers it piles of delicacies in their temples.
4	from the cinderous boughs of an ever-burning baobab trees in the midst of an ashy plain.
5	a desert speckled by the peaks of sandblasted ruins - its coming said to be what turned the land to desert.
6	out from a wandering isle shrouded in chill mist.

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Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://slightadjustments.blogspot.com/p/generator.html