D6x6 Lovecraftian Cults

Click the button below to get your Lovecraftian cult:

Not to be confused with kooky cults: http://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2018/10/d20x5-kooky-cults.html

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This Lovecraftian cult is motivated
1	by the mingling of jaded thrill-seeking & a fawning fear response.
2	by a need to feel superior to their fellow man by means of secret knowledge and secret powers.
3	by a bleak sense of justice that would rather see the world destroyed than the wicked continue to prosper.
4	by survival - getting a way off this doomed planet, or transformation into a form that can survive the coming eon, or however else.
5	by transhumanism - a desire to transcend what they believe to be the limits of humanity.
6	by delusion - the epistemic collapse landed right on their heads - they think they can end chemtrails forever, or help the white hat pedophiles beat the black hat pedophiles in the deep state, or whatever else.

D6	This Lovecraftian cult worships
1	electrical "dragons" which conduct themselves through the mineralized channels of subterranean rivers and aquifers, and galvanically puppet the drowned dead as emissaries.
2	timeless creatures of living mathematics which interface with our material, temporal reality by influencing numbers stations and the growth of trees.
3	cancer, as the primordial response of life that refuses to be assimilated into a larger whole.
4	a pantheon of scientists, alchemists, mystics, and prophets - seeing them as thin human guises over the universe's process of self-revealing.
5	a dead universe, the one which preceded ours, its influence known in the gravitic waves of dark matter.
6	an anthropomorphization of entropy, and its necro-Kirlian angels of decay.

D6	This Lovecraftian cult came to knowledge of the greater cosmos
1	by stumbling across a more-right-than-wrong tome.
2	by an encounter with an entity that left them scarred in body and soul.
3	after discovering an abandoned temple hidden in a fold of space-time.
4	by absorbing a broadcast from an alien realm while stargazing.
5	via direct revelation from an outer god.
6	from a guru who splintered off an older & more prestigious sect.

D6	This Lovecraftian cult is led
1	by a grifter who only started the thing for easy sex and money, and is increasingly-desperate for a way out from the true believers.
2	by a compassionate philanthropist who believes that the cult is their best method of harm reduction given the conditions of existence.
3	by an emotionally-dysregulated sort with an unstable sense of self who's jumped between religions and political extremities their whole life.
4	by the half-human scion of a great old one, grimly sure of their destiny.
5	by a sociopathic misanthrope who wants to take revenge on the whole world.
6	by the host of a psychic parasite from another solar system, whose own planet and species were destroyed. They'll use up the cult to the fullest extent to leapfrog further across the galaxy, fleeing the annihilation they're sure is chasing them.

D6	This Lovecraftian cult maintains a facade
1	of edgy yet politically-liberal Satanism.
2	of sober scientific debate and investigation.
3	of hippie-esque free love, psychedelic consciousness-exploration, and universal brotherhood.
4	of muscular neo-pagan cultural revitalization.
5	of perennial wisdom syncreticism.
6	of pseudo-Christian gnosticism.

D6	This Lovecraftian cult aims
1	to kidnap and extort a wealthy recluse, unaware that he is an immortal sorcerer.
2	to bind a hostile & predatory being, and use the threat of unbinding it to muscle over other factions in the occulture.
3	to lovebomb enough people into joining that they can lead a popular revolt, which will in turn cement their theo-manifesto into the canon.
4	to host a high society soirée where society's movers & shakers will be exposed to higher powers, and thus be ripe for conversion.
5	to heist an artifact related to their object of worship from an upcoming museum exhibit.
6	to commit ritual murders across the city, the points where they're committed drawing out a potent sigil.

D6x6 Galumphing Gryphons

Click the button below to get your gryphons:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These gryphons have the front half
1	of an albatross.
2	of a potoo.
3	of a shoebill.
4	of a pileated woodpecker.
5	of a rooster.
6	of a raven.

D6	These gryphons has the back half
1	of a leopard.
2	of a manul.
3	of a cougar.
4	of a lynx.
5	of a serval.
6	of a liger.

D6	These gryphons are
1	celestial beings that are bestowed by the gods as mounts to those who serve the will of the heavens.
2	a biomancer's living thesis, proof of their theory of animal-grafting.
3	a noble house's heraldric eidolon force-meated into fleshly form.
4	native creatures of the flying sky-islands.
5	living artifacts of the harmonious world which preceded our discordant one, wherein living things evolved by merging into hybrids rather than splitting and speciating.
6	spat out alongside other chimeras by a repopulation vault meant to restore surface life after some catastrophe - that same catastrophe damaged the vault's directing intelligence, causing it to make things like gryphons instead of pure forms.

D6	These gryphons prefer to attack prey
1	by dive-pouncing from a great height.
2	that are healthy, abhoring sickly meat.
3	in pairs, one coming in low, the other coming in high.
4	that don't back down after a threat display - there's some beastly honour in it.
5	by picking off the weakest member of a group first, to use them as bait for an ambush for the rest.
6	from behind, like a tiger, and like tigers can be confused by wearing a mask on the back of your head.

D6	These gryphons are known
1	to collect various spices - barks and resins and dried berries and so on and so forth - to blend them into incomparably delicious proprietary mixtures with which they attract mates.
2	to engage in surplus killing towards horses, and thus are assumed to hate them.
3	to be excellent appraisers of jewelry, able to tell in an instant if a piece is a counterfeit or if precious metal has been debased.
4	to sing only once in their lives - at the moment of their death - and this is known to be a surpassingly beautiful song.
5	to drop tortoises shell-first onto the heads of bald men and elephants, and screech uproariously afterwards as if they find it hilarious.
6	to mark their territory by scratching geoglyphs into the earth.

D6	These gryphons nest
1	amid branches sharpened and entrenched like pallisades, bristling outwards and upwards.
2	out in the open, in mounds of cloth and shiny baubles they've pilfered.
3	opportunistically, in the lairs of other creatures which they chase out.
4	in coracle-like constructions of mud and twigs which they float in lakes and ponds.
5	in tubular structures made from their spittle mixed with the blood of their prey, which they build on the undersides of overhanging cliffs.
6	atop pillars of stone, tossing their chicks over the edge in a trial-by-fire method of teaching flight - man-made towers trigger the same instinct.

Some Artefacts - The First Dossier

To be the first of five.

Like so: https://crateredland.blogspot.com/2025/07/facility-artefact-classification.html

Oπ - Screensaver Ball: A synthetic rubber ball, striped bright red and yellow, approximately the size of a tennis ball. It possesses a perfect coefficient of restitution, and once thrown will bounce and remain bouncing until seized. Placed in staff lunch room in sheet metal box with one face made of plexiglass as amusement.

Itself the product of an anomaly - the Matheson Toy Factory (LΩ) - a facility which was able to destructively scan the brainwaves of neurodivergent children to produce artefact-class toys.

Eρ - Mr. Crapper: Jewish-American male. Late 50s. Theorized to have a "hyper-evolutionary" gut microbiome - he excretes complex multi-cellular organisms derived from the bacteria, fungi, and archaea of his digestive tract. The transformation from micro-organism to macro-organism seems to begin in his small intestine, and be largely complete by the time they reach the colon. Each such organism he produces is unique.

While most such organisms are non-viable reproductively, testing of the Trenton sewer system indicates a self-sustaining population, possibly due to horizontal gene transfer.

Entity's diet is to consist of mild foods and beverages. Inclusion of irritants such as capsaicin or lactose result in the excretion of more aggressive organisms. Entity seems content to remain in containment as long as his delusions of being persecuted by an anti-semitic conspiracy are indulged.

PΔ - The Gussawannassagga County Fair: Mass hysteria and spontaneous manifestation of advertisements for a county fair in a county that doesn't exist. Shows up every few years somewhere in rural America - those affected become obsessed with winning the "blue ribbon prize" for some contest supposedly to be held at the fair, always related to showing up with the largest of something - largest pumpkin, largest watermelon, largest pound-cake, largest hog, largest truck, largest child, etc. Manifestations typically last a month, with most of the affected suffering amnesia about it afterwards (except those who were fed in part or in whole to hogs/children to fatten them up), and a few disappearing without a trace along with their would-be contestants.

Staff continuing to suggest that this artefact is the result of a "Native American curse" will be reprimanded.

Lπ - The Telephone Booth That When You Enter It Compels You To Dial A Random Number That Is Not In Use And Recite Your Life Story Beginning From Your Earliest Memory And Causes You To Forget Any Memory You Tell It: The Organization keeps it locked up - it's got no power over anyone so long as you don't go inside it. Occassionally unlocks it to eliminate people who know too much.

Pβ - Tooth Radio: A method to click the tongue against a golden dental crown to transmit one's thoughts to others possessing a golden dental crown on the same tooth within several miles - even when sonic signals should be blocked by intervening obstacles over this distance.

Believed to be a Pτ-class artefact for Gashmob, an acephalous collective dedicated to ending death, even on the level of individual cells. Based on observation of captured Gashmob members, separation from Tooth Radio after some period of use causes severe distress, eventually leading to non-functionality - Organization personnel are therefore advised not to attempt to listen in.

EΩ - The Orca God: Oceanic leviathan believed to have been thousands of years old. Orca populations of the resident, transient, and offshore types were all observed performing religious activities around and towards it, and the entity led pods of orcas on attacks on fishing fleets in the Pacific. Despite close association with orcas, the entity actually resembled a gigantic, shell-less sea turtle.

The Orca God was killed with depth charges back in 1958, and ornaments made from its bones are still awarded to field operatives for exemplary service.

Lχ - Winjhlains Cave: Wandering location, can appear near any populations with significant neanderthal DNA. It is a small cave with its walls covered in apparently-pedagogical cave paintings. Its floor is covered in weapons knapped from flint, sourced to a deposit in modern Germany.

Those who study the cave paintings are instilled with a desire to take up the cave's weapons and kill those who violate hunter-gatherer egalitarian norms

EΚ - The Found Footage Fiend: A member of cryptobia thampocalyptus, a designation for a group of mammalian tetrapods which are able to bend light around themselves to makes themselves "naturally blurry" - some instances are even able to use this bent light to biophotonically alter human minds & biology.

The Found Footage Fiend targets urban & cave explorers, tracking them down by some unknown means. It stages its attacks to resemble a scene from a low-budget horror film, and afterwards somehow ensures that the footage of its attack makes its way onto discussion boards and suchlike. Its victims, when their bodies are found at all, are posed and mutilated to look like they died in accidents, and were then eaten by various scavengers.

Assume human level intelligence & the physique of a grizzly bear. Further abilities such as control over technology and detecting recordings are possible.

Oρ - Mother Moloch: A clay figurine of a Rubenesque, bull-headed humanoid seated on a throne, bearing a brazier in one hand and a tool similar in appearance to a lacrosse stick in the other. The figurine has been dated to an indeterminate period during the Bronze Age Collapse. If a pregnant woman crosses within about a hundred yards of the figurine, that individual will then miscarry a mass of ash and blood, of a size dependent on how late in their pregnancy they were. This mass will soon after become animate as an entity roughly as intelligent as a six year old, dedicated to luring more pregnant women towards the figurine. At certain thresholds of critical numbers of such entities their behaviour becomes more complex, such as constructing a shrine around the figurine at seven entities.

Oτ - Lifeletter Knife: A copper-volcanic glass alloy blade, its handle sculpted to resemble some sort of alligator-butterfly hybrid creature or deity. It is believed to have been created by a Toltec splinter-culture that survived in desert communes.

Those bled by the knife are drained of some abstract "life energy" - and this affects even those entities who could otherwise regenerate or make themselves immune to harm - and channels this life energy to a plot of land in the Sonoran desert. The Organization uses this plot to cultivate certain plants with growing conditions that might otherwise be difficult to meet.

KUOTOA = CROATOAN

You don't belong here.

The seasons are queer. The crops grow bitter, when they grow at all. The hard-cut trails are swallowed up again in weeks. The birds mock you with their songs.

Hungry men go out to hunt and don't return.

Your encompassing reason which carried you across the ocean wavers here.

The deer walk on their hind legs when they think you're not looking, and watch with shining eyes at the edge of the firelight when they know you are. You pull up a fish and it meets your stare, whispering the name of the love you left behind.

There's a hole in your cellar. There wasn't before. It smells like the dead things that washed up on the beach.

There's a hole in the street where the mud sucked down, after the fog and the rain and the children went mad and ran and sang. It smells the same.

The ocean, never lovely, now hates. The fishermen give pieces of themselves to it before setting sail - fingertips, earlobes, noses, nipples. The other day they tore your god from its temple, leaving it in a ditch as they hoisted a chunk of sodden driftwood in its place. The priest was found bloated and drowned, the altar boy with him, and they called it a lovers' suicide before a spitting liturgy.

You're beginning to understand the words. You're starting to see the faces in the driftwood. You're beginning to understand.

The ocean is a mask. Its true face lies deeper. It's under the land too, its fingers like the hollows left by worms. This earth and this water are sacred. They are haunted by a billion gods, uncountable, unnameable. Your liturgy is a rapture of tongues.

The priest had to die. He was a liar, and one shouldn't lie about such things.

The true priests are there, in the deep and the dark, in the dreams you wake from weeping. They speak with the gods and give birth to them, are strangled and devoured by them.

Your colony will be another sunken investment. Another emptied shell, with only a gutteral scrawl left behind, scratched into pews and bed-posts and the bark of dead trees:

"KUOTOA"

D6x6 Cats of Ulthar

Click the button below to get your cat:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	grey and spotted, with a peculiarly-flat head.
2	heterochromatic, and the colour of its fur is split evenly between black and white down the length of its body.
3	extraordinarily, inconveniently fluffy, the long tuffets of its fur wafting and twisting without a breeze.
4	hairless, with wize & deep-drooping wrinkles, and moles and liver-spots marking constellations across its skin.
5	tawny and tufted beneath its nose, and at the ends of its ears and tail.
6	a sweet orange-candy colour, with stripes that ripple down it like the white ends of waves up a beach.

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	a babbling sacred fool, getting into accidents and incidents as many times as it miraculously survives them.
2	imperious, insecure, vain and easily spooked.
3	sadistically whimsical, a dreamer of dark dreams.
4	glum when at peace, fierce and funny at war.
5	a trash-talking rough with a heart of, if not gold, then at least silver.
6	a syrupy charmer, a gossiper, a clingy socialite.

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	able to grow its shadow larger than light sources should allow, and claw and gnaw things with it as though it were a great black panther.
2	able to eat ghosts and the souls of astrally-projecting sorcerers, slurping them up like a bunch of noodles.
3	able to slip between the waking and dreaming worlds as easily as breathing.
4	blessed with more lives than nine, and is happy to lend them out - with interest.
5	possessed of a third eye in its stomach, which it can vomit up like a hairball. This eye can fly about, become intangible & invisible, and see the hidden currents of things.
6	possessed of a retractable claw on the end of its tail which is envenomated with a substance which both numbs the wound to unnoticeability & induces extreme suggestibility.

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	a newcomer to town, who's already stepped on the wrong tails and made some enemies.
2	a respectable burgher, with an uncommon ability to cover up & silence what might make it less-respectable.
3	practically royalty in Ulthar, descended from a line that's been in town since its founding - though this means little among cats since all cats are aristocrats.
4	a retired guerilla-defender of Ulthar's outskirts, using the connections and honours built up over its career to found a trafficking network.
5	an itinerant inhabitant, going away a long while then returning with strange tales & trinkets.
6	a joke around town, seen as very un-cat-like in behaviour.

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	very fond of anchovies - the saltier the better - they make a fine bribe for it.
2	a social media addict, and has over a million followers on Earth under an assumed name.
3	on the verge of insanity after discovering that one of its ancestors was a hound of Tindalos.
4	an old lady who was blessed with reincarnation as a cat of Ulthar for her kindness to Earth-cats in life - it retains all memories of its human life.
5	an architect of leisure, a shaper of sun-beams.
6	a friend to the ghouls - they leave each other carcass-gifts.

D6	This cat of Ulthar is
1	putting together a team to retrieve a lost treasure of the goddess Bast.
2	seeking to have a former lover embarrassed politically.
3	raising a new & more potent hybrid of silvervine - a hybrid which has proved unfortunately predatory.
4	afflicted with mormolice, and desperate for a cure.
5	leading an experiment to induce Ultharian awareness in Earth-cats.
6	organizing a play which will mystically invite Nyarlathotep to town in a feline incarnation.

D6x6 Dire Dervishes

I did a orientalism. I did an islamophobia. I did a racism. I did a xenophobia. I did a christo-fascism. I did a weak apology. I did a no growth. This makes it abundantly clear I don't understand the intersectional nature of the multiplicity of my offenses.

Click the button below to get your dervishes:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These dervishes dance
1	in a sort of stylized military march, with high knees and punts.
2	in a style that includes lots of spins and flips and kicks - it's a fused dance-martial art like capoeira.
3	in cycles of whirling expansion and tiptoeing contraction, kind of like figure skating by foot.
4	impossibly-flexibly, proof in motion that their inspiration could only be divine.
5	by leaping and rolling in a stunning display of athleticism.
6	hand-in-hand, each of the pair in colours contrasting the other's.

D6	These dervishes dance to
1	demonstrate that the divine cannot be grasped rationally, but rather only by direct, aesthetic revelation.
2	wake the righteous dead up from the earth, to enjoy their company and share the joys of the living.
3	mimic on earth what their divinity achieves in the heavens.
4	speak with bees, who they believe carry their words up to the ears of God.
5	keep their bodies strong and limber for when spiritual war must spill over into the material world.
6	the tune of strummed lyres and the beat of their beaded wooden sandals.

D6	These dervishes wear
1	long skirts and taper-tipped hats.
2	billowy scarves and sashes and headbands and ribbons around their ankles and wrists.
3	be-belled & tasselled shirts and trousers.
4	curlicued tunics and spirally torcs and tiaras and belts.
5	hauberks of gold-leafed chain, and tabards stitched with religious symbols.
6	frames like hussar wings flying gaudy pennats, and vests with striped colours.

D6	These dervishes wield
1	weapons like haftless morning stars, or spiked and hollow bowling balls.
2	coiled scimitars made from the treated iridescent shells of flailsnails, which by skilled users can be whipped out to their full length or retained for weighty chopping.
3	wavering, wire-thin bagh nakhs, perfect for piercing around armour and bones.
4	heavy chakrams, more for swinging than for throwing.
5	their own fists and feet and knees and elbows and foreheads, conditioned into iron-hard weapons.
6	twin serrated sickles, engraved with calligraphic prayers.

D6	These dervishes are led
1	by a burn-scarred and wildly-bearded old ascetic who sleeps with his eyes open balanced atop a wooden pole and can laugh off any pain.
2	by a clubfooted prophetess who rides an albino donkey.
3	by a bloodthirsty zealot who pores over their sacred texts for justifications for all-consuming violence.
4	by a fanatical literalist who is certain they have discerned the one perfect dance, which when performed (at great expense to all) will immanentize the eschaton.
5	by a canny politician who knows the right words to whisper into every ear to get people to sacrifice themselves for the greater cause.
6	by a venal secularist who has mastered their art yet wants to render them into mere performers and concubines.

D6	These dervishes' stronghold
1	is a blessed cirque way up in the mountains, carved out and encompassed by a glacier of pale blue, unmelting ice, which acts as a greenhouse for the paradisiacal verdance within it.
2	is an underground city with great earthen doors to disguise its entrances.
3	is a white tower, a cyclopean pillar of atmospheric entry-sizzled stone encircled by a crater-oasis.
4	is down the throat of a hotspring-cenote, the steam rising from its depths channeled into contraptions and contrivances for convenience and defence.
5	is a valley carved with the tombs of pagan pharaohs, walled off with raided bricks and decorated with defaced idols.
6	is an ancient, eroded web of qanats, cisterns, and aqueducts, with a semi-nomadic center of operations that can move rapidly along its waterways.

D6x6 Maddening Mascots

Click the button below to get your mascot:

Special thanks to Spwack for making the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This mascot is
1	an ant-eater in a French maid outfit and big sunglasses.
2	an anthropomorphic flea with a flowing mane of roses.
3	a blocky robot who is also a mummy, and carries a TV-static ankh.
4	a two-headed owl with crab-claws instead of wings.
5	a multiple-amputee bunny-rabbit with vitiligo and also silly-straw prostheses and a hankering for pickled onions.
6	a be-dreadlock'd stoner shark who also loves paragliding.

D6	This mascot's personality
1	is muted and sarcastic.
2	is gloomy yet occasionally jumpy.
3	is nerdy & hyper-active.
4	is cuhrazy, like a PG-13 Joker.
5	is lovey-dovey yet bashful.
6	is sassy and vengeful.

D6	This mascot is a mascot for
1	a sports team.
2	an open-source operating system.
3	a breakfast cereal.
4	a university.
5	a chain restaurant.
6	a local tourist attraction.

D6	Inside of this mascot's suit is
1	a robotic armature, and a computer programmed for friendliness.
2	meat, fresh and bloody and throbbing.
3	some guy who's been hypnotically programmed to believe he is the mascot.
4	a slave leased from a local prison who is chained up inside it.
5	a quintet of highly-trained performing monkeys.
6	some teenage part-timer.

D6	This mascot can be seen
1	breakdancing and rapping in a gobbledybbuk pseudo-language.
2	planking, ice bucket challenging, and otherwise attempting decade-old pop phenomena.
3	shaking hands and kissing babies like a politician on campaign.
4	going on dates with micro-celebrities.
5	in commercials directed by the late & great David Lynch, and in live re-enactments.
6	alongside goats and llamas at nearby petting zoos.

D6	This mascot is viewed
1	as a creepy fixture about whom many occult rumours are spread.
2	as the final boss of local social media representation, the top dog to be surpassed by every influencer and advertizer.
3	as a beloved icon by half the population, and a representative of everything wrong with the world by the other half.
4	as amusing, but over-used.
5	with numb indifference - as just another sign of liberal impotence in the rising tide of global fascism.
6	as both embarrassingly-outdated and a nostalgic retro-figure.