D6x6 Bigfoots, Sasquatches, Yetis, & Other Such Primatoid Cryptids

Click the button below to generate your cryptid:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This primatoid cryptid has
1	tangled locks knotted around strips of vegetation like an organic ghillie suit.
2	gangly-long limbs, and a bulbous head that droops from its neck like a gourd on a vine.
3	tarsier-big eyes, spaced apart like car headlights and backed with light-reflecting tapeta.
4	atrophied sensory organs, and symbiotic micro-monkeys swarming about its body, tugging its fur to guide it and chittering in the holes of its ears to relay sounds.
5	a cartilaginous skeleton. It moves like a rubber toy and can squeeze through any hole big enough to fit its throat-ripping canines.
6	a shockingky-human face - though in truth this is a fleshy camouflage-wattle. Their true face is far less anthropomorphic than any other primate's.

D6	This primatoid cryptid inhabits
1	trackless old-growth forests.
2	the depths of putrid swamps.
3	a webwork of mountain caves.
4	a reach of hostile taiga.
5	a stretch of savannah.
6	sewers, abandoned warehouses & factories, and other such locales on the margins of human society.

D6	This primatoid cryptid is seen by humans
1	as a breeding population of chimpanzees that escaped from a circus.
2	as a metaphor for innocent & untamed humanity used by local poets.
3	as one of those new pizzly bears or something of the sort.
4	as a spiritual guardian of sacred nature.
5	as a hallucination of drug-addled hippies.
6	as a hoax invented by locals to drum up tourist business.

D6	This primatoid cryptid sees humans
1	as particularly-delicious food.
2	as deformed children.
3	as incomprehensibly-advanced aliens.
4	as objects of proto-religious fascination.
5	as intruders into its territory.
6	as fools seduced by sedentary & technological civilization.

D6	This primatoid cryptid is
1	invisible to those who don't believe in it, thanks to its psycho-refractive fur.
2	surrounded by a cloud of pheromones that induce confusion and amnesia.
3	capable of mimicking voices and other sounds, and of extracting memories from the brains it eats.
4	highly resistant to small-caliber firearms thanks to the density of its bone & muscle tissue.
5	capable of channeling the static electricity which builds up in its fur into stunning or even killing bolts.
6	covered in porcupine-esque needles which through muscular contractions it can launch like crossbow bolts.

D6	This primatoid cryptid is hunted
1	by a once-beloved influencer whose star is fading due to controversy, convinced that finding proof of the cryptid is the key to reigniting their fame.
2	by the head of a some-race-or-another supremacist militia who funds their operations through the sale of meth - sampling their own supply has plunged them into stimulant psychosis.
3	by a big game hunter and amateur alchemist who's kept themself in prime physical condition since the early 1800s by extracting essential materials from their own descendants.
4	by the retainer of a Saudi prince who wants it collected as the ultimate exotic pet.
5	by the possessed host of a parasitic wasp which can only truly reproduce in the flesh of the cryptid.
6	by an aging celebrity skeptic who received undeniable evidence of the cryptid, and now wants to eliminate it to affirm the entirety of their career.

D20x5 Keen Kingdoms

Requested by friend of the blog Max in the comments of D20x5 Peculiar Peasants. Some of these may not in the most technical & Merriam-Webster sense of the term be kingdoms. Click the button below to generate a kingdom of your very own:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	This kingdom is
1	mostly swamp, with any solid ground painstakingly dammed out of the muck.
2	nestled among mountains, sustained by tariffs and the output of extensive terraces.
3	within a jungle that's been transformed into a garden over many generations, the land enriched with terra preta and reshaped to reduce nutrient leaching.
4	rocky and lushly forested, full of big lakes.
5	mostly desolate taiga and tundra, the population clinging to its warmer coast.
6	built upon an archipelago that formed around a volcanic arc.
7	rolling steppe, taken from the nomads who once called it home with massive engineering projects - great walls and aqueducts.
8	lying in the shadows of cyclopean ruins it could never hope to replicate.
9	a vast prairie, built up with mounds and firebreaks both ancient and modern.
10	laid along a prodigious river in the middle of a desert waste.
11	planted on the boughs and tremendous polypores of gigantic, dying mangroves, rooted in the silt of a routed sea.
12	as much below the earth as above it, qanats and catacombs and alcazars carved throughout its soft stone.
13	salt flats in the shadow of mountains, a briny delta washing over the encrusted land.
14	an island-nation, near-paradisical except for the constant and torrential rain.
15	enclosed by mountains and rivers, a natural fortress.
16	chapparal hills and groves.
17	in an arid basin, quenched by a labour-intensive canal network.
18	on a peninsula all but severed from the mainland by a catastrophe in olden days.
19	beset by excessive and unpredictable seasons.
20	a craggy and pitted coast.

D20	This kingdom is ruled
1	by an obese gourmand who cultivates myconid servants in the damp of their many fat rolls.
2	by the kind-hearted yet tragically-inbred scion of an ancient dynasty.
3	by a renowned warrior rendered prematurely decrepit by a web of old wounds and scars.
4	by a literal lapdog, per the appointment of its mad former king.
5	by a council of squabbling regents - its heir was cursed with eternal youth as an infant.
6	by an authoritarian reformer loved by the common people and hated by the nobility.
7	by a bon vivant who's kicked off an age of aestheticism and decadence in the kingdom.
8	by a masked schemer who sold their soul to a demon to take and hold the throne.
9	by a trio of minor gods, incarnate and conjoined in the same mortal body.
10	by the lord-abbot of a sealed monastery dedicated to divining the will of the stars.
11	by a senate composed entirely of veterans who've been maimed in defense of it.
12	by a preternaturally lucky drunkard who accidentally stumbles onto the right solutions to the kingdom's problems.
13	by twin monarchs, one mute yet mighty, the other frail and erudite.
14	by a seemingly-bottomless hole in the earth. It gives sage commands when fed living things.
15	by a paranoid master of spies and poisons who had all their many siblings killed.
16	by the harem of the king, who hold him hostage in their fortified seraglio.
17	by a fanatical convert to a strange foreign cult who's attempting to force its teachings on the kingdom.
18	by a life-size puppet. No one who's ever tried following the strings to its puppeteer has ever returned.
19	by a sapient perfume distilled by a secretive guild - those intoxicated by the perfume's scent become possessed by it.
20	by an immortal queen who is able to give birth to herself - surpassingly wise, yet far removed from the concerns of the finite.

D20	This kingdom is renowned
1	for its grand monuments.
2	for the skill of its physicians.
3	for the loveliness of its music.
4	for the works of its philosophers.
5	for its fabulous wealth.
6	for the industriousness of its peasantry.
7	for the learning of its scholars.
8	for the bravery of its warriors.
9	for the pedigree of its horses.
10	for the savour of its wine.
11	for its public works & services.
12	for its vivid dyes and fine textiles.
13	for the intrepidity of its explorers.
14	for the hilarity of its theatre.
15	for the quality of its arms and armour.
16	for its awestriking vistas.
17	for the flavour of its spices.
18	for the beauty of its people.
19	for the marvels of its mages.
20	for the craft of its potters.

D20	This kingdom is reviled
1	for blaspheming against the heavens.
2	for the coarseness of its poetry.
3	for the licentiousness of its lotharios.
4	for its walking and haunting dead.
5	for its abominable mutants.
6	for practicing human sacrifice.
7	for its ease at taking offense and the disproportionality of its vengeance.
8	for flaunting the customs of hospitality.
9	for its slaving expeditions.
10	for the unfairness of its merchants.
11	for making league with fell creatures.
12	as a den of lepers.
13	for its war-mongering.
14	for its rank banditry.
15	for its two-tongued diplomacy.
16	for its debased currency.
17	for its backwards laws.
18	for its unsanitary practices.
19	for the greed of its creditors.
20	for the brutishness of its soldiers on campaign.

D20	This kingdom's capital
1	is far older than the kingdom itself, running deeper than anyone living in it cares to know.
2	is overrun with petty, penniless, honour-starved nobility.
3	is under quarantine due to plague, and a cutthroat black market has scabbed up around it to get goods in and people out.
4	is a bristling kludge of forts, towers, and walls, district-fiefs left over from an old and settled intra-municipal war.
5	was recently moved for politico-theological reasons, though the former capital remains the kingdom's economic center.
6	is maze-like, requiring local knowledge or understanding its system of road-god idols (which grow larger the closer one gets to the central palace) to navigate.
7	holds hostage the children of outer nobility, and increasingly, powerful non-nobles.
8	is awash with monkeys, who steal food & hats (they have a great fondness for hats (and for biting the noses of snoring sleepers)).
9	prohibits bearing weapons within, on pain of death. Schools of martial arts have developed within which teach how to kill with everyday items like brooms or combs.
10	was built on unstable foundations - it is sinking, and being built up upon itself in an attempt to outrace the decline.
11	is warren'd under with the smuggling-tunnels of black lotus petal dealers.
12	bears the unfortunate iconography of a previous regime - defaced and stucco'd over, yet peeking back through by erosion and graffiti.
13	is in thrall to the fuel-monopoly of its chicken gong guild.
14	is criss-crossed with elevated aqueduct-canals which its elites reserve for their transit.
15	was cursed to drift away into the sky, and although it has broken apart into floating chunks its doom has been delayed under the weight of leaden chains.
16	swoops into the bowl of a crater, rope-slung gondolas carrying people and cargo from its rim into its dip and back again.
17	was built according to principles of sacred geometry, and was recently disrupted by an earthquake - now waves of disorder and mutation emanate from damaged quarters.
18	was once split by a waterway - now drained - apartments and markets built into its dried and grassy bed.
19	is unconquered, its defenses legendary.
20	was burned a half-generation back, and conspiracy theories abound as to the cause.

Slush Pile 11

Previously, on slush piles:

Slush Pile 1

Slush Pile 2

Slush Pile 3

Slush Pile 4

Slush Pile 5

Slush Pile 6

Slush Pile 7

Slush Pile 8

Slush Pile 9

Slush Pile 10

A precious fungus, culinary or narcotic, which grows only in the armpits of giants
-A mushroom which spreads its spores and hyphae through the dreams of those who eat it, linking them together - perhaps, seeing each other's subconscious, they must kill the other, and in their corpses is where the mushroom sprouts again... to be known... to be terribly known...

Dystopian show executions - public enemies cloned and killed over and again, perhaps historical revolutionary or counter-revolutionary or somesuch brought back once a year for holiday/anniversary celebration - in fantasy context resurrected/reincarnated
-Zombified criminals, blind due to birds pecking their eyes out while they were held in the gibbets, see whatever the birds see

The wizard's got some extra-long teeth he pushes way way up into his brain to pin particular trains of thought and memory in place
-the wizard's got long and dirty fingernails curled up on themselves - slugs live within their spirals, and act as his fingers
-the valley-carving towerships of thrice-doomed Ish...

Rupes nigra - giant magnetic black rock at south pole - lances of thunderbolt iron launched out over the world - perhaps the Akashic Record is encoded in it, waiting for the right device, or for journeying projected electric spirits

"The statues set up are now corpses in stone whence the animating soul has flown"
-Revealed Religion

Faufreleuchean future - clones have higher priority in inheriting titles and so on over natural firstborns

Strandbeest mounts, war-strandbeests, strandbeests with ballista-guts and atlatl-limbs bringing downpour of weapons

Cobblands - limited Lolthian apocalypse - everything, trees grass sheep etc. is spiders or made of spiders or spider parts - DNA replaced with very fine silk

Culture with writing system of tattoos and coded piercings, turns people into caste of living "books"

A child called a Winter - so long as they live it will be winter in these lands
--OR: boss monster's remaining HP indicated by verdant forest around them withering into winter
-Perlegard... that's a good name for a place... where do I know it from... Chernabbas, there's another one... Xenarthra... Aka-Shaan... Gomgastile...
-In Eastern Shoshone one of the words for crow is gawkh
-Palaver: unnecessarily elaborate or complex procedure, an improvised conference between two groups - typically without a shared language or culture
-A leechbook was a medical textbook, leechdom a treatment or remedy, and leechcraft the practice of medicine

Culture wherein everyone reaching adulthood must take exam - bottom percentile enslaved, considered animals without rational soul
-culture which signifies close friendships or marriages by chaining together piercings - they get very good at coordinated movement
-Smiths here rake the beach for its black iron sand under moonlight - its heat during the day too much to bear treading upon - digging deep, to bring up the voracious pale snails which slumber beneath it - their shells are forged alongside the sand, for they make for a fine steel micro-alloy (the smiths, of course, know that the steel absorbs the snails' resilient souls - see how the steel-pattern spirals like their shells...)
-City where only plays allowed are small set of religious re-enactments - playwrights and troupes sponsor mild heresies to spice up their repertoire

Guy whose humours are all mixed up - his eyes weep gouts of corrosive bile, he's got phlegm for blood and boogers for scabs, etc.

False towers: Huge, solid stone stelae carved in the likeness of towers, erected over ancient graves. A spectral tower exists within, home to the ghosts of those buried below.

A place where it's raining up and down at the same time - exact same drop position even - raindrops collide at midway point into sheet-thin sea

Watched video on bronze age collapse - some pharaoh or another was spending too much, desacralized tombs of past pharaohs so he could steal their gold - good basis for D&D setting - Aramean petty-states crowning themselves in the ruins of depopulated cities

"Invention... is the nebula that nurses newborn gods"
-Sam Kriss
"the Root of Good & Evil
In The Accusation of Sin
...
All is not Sin that Satan calls so
all the Loves & Graces of Eternity"
-Billy Blake, Laocoon

Beastman guerilla disguised as ordinary herd animal - fattens up on slop - then when time comes to butcher, bam! - escapes with whole herd in tow

The plateau of Vashar is the God of Mountains in some parallel/dark world (like Silent Hill) after being decapitated

Medusas are naturally bald and that's what a maedar is and snakes fuse to their scalps like male anglerfish to female anglerfish and maybe like parrotfish too if that makes them grow breasts

A religion which builds its temples as seals atop portals to hell - require annual pressure release in Fucked Up Halloween wherein demons are allowed to walk the earth for a night

A predatory animal that respects a religion's fasts, and thus spares shepherds and suchlike a day of watchfulness

"Anti-radiation" cigarettes - from Screamers - they're red and they're cool - perhaps contain potassium iodide - perhaps anti-viral cigarettes (smoking prevents covid) laced with protective lung-layering or anti-pneumonial bacteriophages

3D-printed people, printed from exotic matter with exotic properties, controlled by brains in tanks - the brains of the people whose bodies were scanned & re-printed - from Spectral

Diener: A morgue worker responsible for handling, moving, and cleaning corpses. Derived from German word "Leichendiener", meaning "corpse-servant".

An alien species that metamorphoses into not one organism, but millions - a swarm of coral-like polyps or somesuch
-alien prey and predator species so co-evolved that the prey species can only reproduce while in the predator's digestive tract - the young living parasitically within until near maturity
-eusocial alien species, queen can "reincarnate" individuals by eating their brains, retaining memory for offspring like how caterpillars retain memory when metamorphosizing into butterflies
-alien species on high-gravity world evolved to kill each other through essentially judo - intelligence arising from betterment of techniques, understanding of leverage, etc.
-alien species that "sees" through gravity waves, sensory organ extends through other dimensions to discriminate bodies on the scale of other organisms rather than just celestial bodies
-carnivorous alien plantoid like an eel weir, trapping prey pushed by river-current

Leeching makes a comeback - genetically-modified species that filters microplastics out of blood of those it feeds on
-A computer-screen triptych running TempleOS...
-Purse guns too small, why not make the whole purse into a gun

A marsh-dwelling monster called an ahhuuz... after its midnight call... "ahoozoozoozoo"... black and rubbery flesh, built like a horse-sized greyhound, gross-out monster toy jaws, teeth like arthritic fingers... lunge from the murk and drag you under...
-Skinless giants with long claws, nocturnal to avoid the desiccating sunlight, wear clay masks and flay scores of people to make the suits that allow them some comfort
-Trypophobic pockmarked ground and you feel a stab through the sole of your boots when you walk over it and then the pain is gone in a moment and a few hours later your foot is too swollen for the boot and it's cracked and leaking pus blood and something that smells like roses and the pain's come back you can't walk and can barely hobble and they smell you now that you're ripe and they've come out of the earth for you
-A species of moth on whose wings is a cubist impression of absolute horror - those who witness it tear their own eyes out to be spared the sight, and the moth drinks the jelly from them afterwards
-Transparent floating jellies from the upper air which are sometimes blown down to the earth - possessed of an alien intelligence - like star vampires, visible for some time after feeding, leave the skin and bones intact but slither pseudopods into the eyes and mouth and ears to digest the rest and slurp it out as crimson clouds - can learn to wrap pseudopods around corpses and puppet them around herkyjerky as lures - clever and experienced aerojellies can even learn to pump the lungs and massage the vocal cords to recreate speech
-It's the most human thing you've seen down here but nothing is right its head is full of holes and some of them leak fluids but none of them are looking at you and it's got legs and arms but runs on three of them at a time and a hand full of fingers but they never hold anything but stick eggs in you
-The monster bites you but not in a rippy-teary way it's got no fangs it shoves your arm way down deep into its maw and grinds it up with molars meant for breaking down branches
-hypodermic hippos (hm? don't remember writing this one) - apparently they've got these in elden ring now which makes sense because miyazaki is a thief of the mind
-Hair vampire; or: Norwood reaper, steals hair & virility from men around it, becomes chad & makes you beta - any children it sires are horrible
-Ok so you know how cows have four stomachs? So this is four monsters but really they're four stomachs of the same extradimensional monsters and each processes food in a different way/processes different food and if one eats you there's a whole interlinked dungeon in the connecty-guts (groominant: problematic cow - haha, you have such strong bones for your age... you must be drinking a lot of milk...)
-Ok so it's Whedon dialogue and it's a monster, probably not a killy monster, but it shows up to a funeral and is like "uh, yeah, so THAT just happened" and it's kind of like a trickster except it doesn't trick people it just doesn't take anything seriously and ruins things for the people around it, you chop its head off and it's like "ummm decapitate me much??", probably a living curse
-Serpopard: snake-headed (and -necked and -tailed) leopard - or what about a plesiosaur but it's even more fucked-up because instead of a lizard it's a seal, it's a giant seal with a really long neck, like a leopard seal with those nasty teeth - arf arf motherfucker, and then you die
-Waitabout: malevolent spirit, lingered due to unfinished business so long it lost any opportunity to finish its business - condemned to linger in the world until all is dust
-Trench-mermaids - crawled up from the abyss - see all light as indicating food or threat - can be negotiated with in complete darkness
-People think some animals is animal people but they're not they're just animals... like they'll say "oooh, look out for the goatmen in the woods" but they're not goats at all they're a species of big digitigrade bipedal baboons and they run oh so very fast and they are cruel and stupid as baboons are
-The Beast of Gevaudan, the Girt Dog of Ennerdale, the County Cavan Beast, the Trosna Creature, the Plovdiv creature - according to Gable, members of a species of giant, marten-like mustelids he terms "maulers"... reminescent of giant blackfoot ferrets from Veins of the Earth

People verminized by being drawn through Pandemonium's holes - maybe like that one Junji Ito manga, just stick those guys in Pandemonium, seem to fit the vibe
-dimension reached by following ants down into their hole...

Horror scenario premise: Blues musician meets the devil at a crossroads - instead of selling his soul, the musician kills the devil. The musician is lynched some time after, perhaps because of Satanic cult or perhaps because the devil had taken the form of a white man. Some time after that angels descend on the area for the sins of their fathers.
-One of those ground radar scans to find unmarked graves finds something digging its way up
-Something, biological or ectoplasmic or both or neither, inhabiting an old train like a hermit crab its shell, showing up to inflict something downright ecological wherever it shows up

Some species of moth can jam a bat's sonar with clicks produced from special scales on their abdomen or their genital valve or wingbeat

The draconic overgod Io - IO, one-zero - is the operating system of the cosmos, split into the bahamut/tiamat binary whose tension imbues motion in the inert matter - this is one mystery of the yuan-ti deep-state ouroboro-cults

D&D diseases... written as a table of cumulative consequences rolled on each session until cured... CON save can delay but not cure, cures in form of "slay the ploticorn and make an ointment of its horns" or "gather garbocious herb from hexes XX-YY" or "the hierophant of dlem must kiss your boils but he demands a favour first"

Me-Thos Entities
-The Dustbowl Moth, catastrophic herald
-The Mildewed King, infectious fungal narrative
-The Din, noise without signal without end
-The Lambent Arrangement, low-burning reductive transformation

A Batman-like figure, also like The Prestige, maintains dual identity with dual (or more) clone bodies, each sharing memories by some mechanism and sacrificing themself when necessary (Akumetsu) - or: similar radical group uses cosmetic surgery and intense psychedelic group psychotherapy for similar end

A sainted ruin
-A "trauma picture book" - born from a real picture book, one unusually scary or upsetting for children, layering the psychic imprint of their reaction to the book and general memories of unpleasantness from their own lives to manifest as a cursed picture book
-Evil ground, everything from it is evil - vegetables grown in it have evil faces and probably burst out of your stomach, if you put solar panels on it their electricity will be evil and cause problems which could be lethal
-The Prey Kingdoms, hilly region inhabited by petty holdings of xenophobic, conformist prey-animal-people who worship Fear
-The Iconographic Island, where people made themselves into animate images to escape environmental collapse
-Mother Mayfair’s Home For Recalcitrant Ragamuffins: Orphanage that forces its charges into an  adventuring lifestyle to collect funds for itself
-Sepulchre - city built by conquerors from the looted tombs and smashed pyramids of the people they conquered, out-of-work ushabti, curse-pollution and mandatory apotropaics, underground organ transplantation from broken canopic jars
-The Bay of Shades: hyperdimensional body of water that warps depending on the light shining on it - Cobblehobs, patched-together creatures who live in symbiosis and constant, mutual reconstruction with their living ships. Once they came from the stars, but now their ships sail only water - At the center of the Bay is said to be a chunk fallen from the moon. The occlusium deposits dredged up across the Bay seems to support this - the Bay is colder and darker than it might seem from without, due to light stretching over more space

Aliens look like humans with make-up/in costumes because of ancient human conquest and forced genetic rewriting

Implied setting of manga: Japan as a fourth world country, every classroom is a Lord of the Flies nightmare, there are rapists and murderers around every corner that isn't controlled by delinquents, 1 in every 3 people is a psychopath, the police are completely powerless against you if your dad makes more than $80,000 a year, 1/100th of the country dies every month to a combination of serial killers, ghosts, and faulty infrastructural projects enabled by corrupt politicians, every friend is planning to get you to cosign their debt and then disappear, anyone over the age of 60 is either a pervert, in a cult, or is kindly and will die shortly, every child is either on the verge of murder/suicide due to studying pressure and bullying or is being left alone in their apartment for days at a time while their mother goes to love hotels and host bars, 10% of the population is possessed or haunted, if you approach the mountains you will be killed by monkeys
-see deus ex parabola's seminal scenario: Goburino no Haisukuro, which some call the Deep Carbon Observatory of modern fantasy/horror Japanese-style gaming

Ok... Spaghetti Factory... nasty, nasty place, not a fan of Spaghetti Factory... even at Spaghetti Factory now you're paying through the NOSE for SHIT... anyways, Creepypasta Factory, and it's like a reverse SCP or somesuch, they're making creepypastas and loosing them into the wild of the 'net, they're making real smiledogs and siccing them on impressionable children, they're harvesting something from this, or maybe they're fattening the entities up and when they're big and strong they'll sell them to the Saudis

There's an alien tree growing in the roundabout and it's breathing in the smog. Sometimes a hobo sleeps under it and dreams of a world under a purple sun. The drivers swirling by assume it's some art piece the city paid an outrageous sum to some nepo baby for.

Gutzon Borglum - the name of the man who designed Mount Rushmore...

Is prison OSR? (what?)
-Fake fireplace secret passage - not even close to original idea but I still want to use it in something... maybe only burning something special in it opens the passage...
-Grand stairwell in dungeon, each landing marked by paired braziers, filled with darkness that eats light rather than being repelled by it - entering unlit landing, or without other lit landing, spits you out at random point - can navigate between lit landings, with potential to become lost as with unlit depending on how many unlit landings are between starting and destination landings
-Structure like giant seesaw, allowing easy access to some rooms/windows tilted one way while blocking others, and vice-versa the other way
--I didn't know the word virtue until an embarrassingly late age... I thought "versa" had the same meaning... because of the phrase "vice-versa"...
-Petrified/frozen people with "smiles" carved into their faces... maybe this is a yeti thing... and they think smiles are intimidating because they are apes... and they leave the frozen corpse-sculptures around their territory as a warning... apes are scary, say what you will about Joe Rogan but he understands this viscerally
-The nerves and veins stretched and fixed in place, like cheeks pulling away from lips frozen to a metal pole, then frozen themselves
-Prime minister marrying successive queens in constitutional monarchy - I think this happened in Madagascar

The slide rule/cassette tape future coming about as result of most abundant life in cosmos being electro-magnetic rather than carbonic - spaceships passing through the interstellar void and returning with radio-parasites that end digital civilization - any computers afterwards are hideously-expensive and cumbersome analogue devices

Duelling guilds of blind and leprous bankers - blind bankers like todoza, leprous bankers developed from people leaving their treasure at leper colonies thinking nobody'd want to steal it for fear of catching leprosy

Asmodeus is not the king of Hell but a babbling senile (possibly lobotomized) president, a figurehead and figure of mockery for the foul congress of the titled gentry whose politicking is the true engine of the inferno

A psychotronic Hieronymous Machine works just as well with only the blueprint of the machine inside a casing as with actual machinery - this is because it is psychic, working off mentation rather than materiality

Telekill alloy - psychically opaque - can't be moved telekinetically, blocks telepathy, etc. - anti-qualia, you can tell which wavelengths of light it reflects and which it absorbs, but you can't tell what it looks like - you can tell how hard it is, but not how hard it feels - difficult to manufacture as the proportion of its alloy can't be expressed in mathematical language - got to have good & non-conscious robots to do it
-It's really bad if this stuff contaminates the water supply...

Fantasy dwarves - all dwarves have dug too deep, and in digging found all manner of balrogs and cthulhus. Each dwarven city/culture is enslaved to some chthonic power or another, their dourness & alcoholism a reaction to their situation. E.g. dwarfhold of Yog-Tessekt is non-Euclidean, forges fractal weapons that change shape (3-dimensional cross-section) depending on how they are held - ruled by annual kings wed to the awful power, die at the end of their reign giving birth to an enormous, invisible, betentacled "prince" thrown into labyrinth beneath/above/around/beside the hold.

Owl etymology: Old English ūle, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch uil and German Eule, from a base imitative of the bird's call.
Euler surname etymology: German: occupational name for a potter (most common in the Rhineland and Hesse), from Middle High German ūl(n)ære (an agent derivative of the dialect word ūl, aul 'pot', from Latin olla).
-Brindled/Brended: brown, burn, to burn
-Pongine: I love these fuckin monkeys
-Purtancle: mmm
-Untombed...

"The brick colours which can occur naturally are as follows: pink, red, brown, yellow, tan, and blue"

To steal from Phlox: monsters and/or fighting styles with alternate death & dismemberment tables

An adventure game book in youtube video format...

Noodles so spicy you'll be blowing red snot butterflies...

Armour enchantments with similar "tactility" to a flaming sword:
-Compression: Spend a round to shrink down to the size & mass of a bowling ball, or return from the same
-Slick: Armour is slippery as if it is covered in oil, whenever this is advantageous to you
-Magnetic: Armour or pieces of armour can stick to metal as if two very strong men are holding it in place, or attract nearby metal as if a weak child is pulling it along - can also hold to itself, to form example lock an arm in place
-Living:  Requires rations, repairs itself if damaged - can be trained to respond to commands like dogs
-Flaming: On fire >:^)

Doesn't really make sense for D&D hell to be a punishment for evil souls... bad sales tactic... devils are salesmen on the material plane, promising anything and everything in return for souls... the lemures which these souls become are given to those who arrived in hell naturally & appropriately, for them to torment
-demons, of course, don't care - they invade and take what they want - people don't aspire to end up in the Abyss, it's a shit afterlife even if you align with it

Bottle imp GLOG class..? Pseudo-omniscient, wants to be unleashed - at odds with rest of party? - information broker but BAD IDEA to let out...

Ok so they had spit dogs running in wheels turning spits and they had dogs pulling sleds but nobody ever thought to have a wagon or chariot powered by dogs? Come on.

Cthulucene multi-species complexes as response to climate system & biosphere collapse... space ships & stations in a sense, relative to Earth, always in state of climate & bio-collapse... space-crews becoming synthetic-species complexes, ears perked with the echoes of distant klaxons, the sourness of spoiled air on remote tongues...

Why Is The Subtitle of Transformers 3 "Dark of the Moon" and Not "Dark Side of the Moon" - An Investigative Video Essay

A man possessed by the queerest of notions creates longer-form video content:

Old World Muse

Legojam? No, this is the year of the travelogue:

https://monstersandmanuals.blogspot.com/2024/05/reflections-on-city.html

http://throneofsalt.blogspot.com/2024/06/a-week-in-ireland.html

In Valencia

Soft and slow, we are flowing back, like sand, like time, back to the beginning. I am the first, reborn of the red soil, my vision filled with the blue ghost of an ancient ocean. Come with us down into the red dust and rise again, transformed.

There are red cliffs here. We've got red cliffs in Ontario too - much better, much stronger red cliffs, because ours are red granite while the ones here are red soil.

 

Everything in Spain is sooo slow. They expended their civilizational energy centuries ago expelling the Umayyads. There are ruins everywhere you look. Substance, fading substance, solidified past. I have heard that Toronto has the most construction cranes in operation of any city in North America... a vapourous future. They are building shit, falling-apart shit, for stupid & meaningless dreams - fancies, unworthy of the title of dream.

Lots of plazas in Valencia, big walkable spaces, big public parks - zero crackheads, aggressive schizophrenics, etc. Spain's GDP is like a third of Canada's, and while GDP is fake, come on, there's literally no trade-off, one way is just plain superior. Although, I have heard that those types converge on Barcelona. They live in the hills, so I've heard. Dirty, dirty Barcelona. Full of dust, and thieves.

Looksmatch here is but a whisper from across the sea. I assumed this was a Slavic phenomenon. It is Mediterranean too. Perhaps related to low cost of living. Many more children here, young couples with children.

Seems it's the fashion now to include snail in Valencian paella, which traditionally has chicken and rabbit. The snail adds nothing, and in fact I received an unpleasant surprise biting into a shard of shell that had broken off into the rice. Who is this meant to appeal to? Is there a glut of tourism from fucking ground beetles?

 

The gay community seems to be thriving in Valencia. Saw little to no corporate pride stuff, and yet many posters for monster drag shows & suchlike... perhaps because the Valencian accent sounds gay... they lisp, you see, they pronounce their s's as th's. La raza cosmica pronounces and will pronounce s's properly...

Witnessed nuns like a flock of birds - magpies, or penguins - being shephered by a fat priest. He was Catholic, but even so a priest shouldn't be fat. Sets a bad example. Glad I didn't end up paying to go into some tourist-catering cathedral. Cathedrals are Disneyland. All your favourite Bible characters, big and gilded! Wowza! The outward ceremony is anti-Christ.

Anime is everywhere, on the train TV. It's in stores, on shirts, in graffiti - I witnessed two women with Sailor Moon hair. Japanese soft power.

Piña colada, pinya they say, nya like a Japanese cat. Miaw, in ancient Egypt. The Habiru, the Celts, Semitic outflow from Egypt... ancient people, ancient wisdom...

Terroir is not just for wine. There are energies in the air, the water, the earth, that shape and are shaped by the people who live there. Viktor Schauberger knew this. Ray Peat.

 

In Scotland

When an animal looks up at the night sky, what does it see? Thousands and thousands of tiny points. Then a man looks up at the same points and sees millions of stars; galaxies, within which are billions of planets. Do you want to know what I see? Were you there when I created the stars?

Landed in Manchester - scanner pods! Dehumanization, worse than the GERMANS. Airports are an excuse for the globalist deep state to treat citizens the way they wish they could treat us everywhere.

Outside the airport Manchester is nicer than I have heard. Nice suburbs, trees and bushes and bricks and old churches and old factories. The people sound like mealy-mouthed toddlers.

 

The UK has a gnarling energy, something is off, physically, aesthetically, about the people here. There is no summer. It is 17 degrees. Perhaps it is this. Everyone has it, the natives, the immigrants. The country is wrong. Perhaps it's the rebuilt Stonehenge. Stonehenge is fake. Halloween 3 is about this.

San Miguel is only 5% here, as opposed to 5.4% in Spain - probably tax-related - unforgivable. I much prefer trains to planes these days, yet at the same time people have become too jaded to planes - for hundreds of thousands of years it has been a human dream to fly - perhaps because of the humiliation ritual of airport security theater.

Walter Scott quotes in Edinburgh train station - very cynical man - if it were Canada it would be group of seven paintings... sick of the group of seven! Has there been no high art in Canada in a century?! There was a church that burned down a little while ago - a group of seven mural inside. That church was a martyr, a suicide incendiary taking the mediocre cruft of stuck culture down with it.

 

I have no nostalgia walking through the places I've been. The past is dead to me and I am dead to the present. It's a ghost-feeling.

Lots of rain. Much too big slugs and snails. To pay for a washroom? What is this, Nazi Germany? Warhammer could have only come out of the UK. Spain could never invent wargaming, because it is too nice, the people too healthy physically & mentally.

Big beer bottles - affordable & quality whisky... will I take back what I said about San Miguel here? Perhaps halfway. Exorbitant vice taxes are a WASP sickness inflicted on right-thinking and right-drinking people.

British cuisine is unfairly maligned - can't get good fish & chips outside the UK, and meat pies are lovely - british comedy isn't maligned enough.

The Tesco Spanish tortilla is very bad, one of the worst things I have eaten that wasn't rotten or moldering. People say about this and that: "it's like eating cardboard". I have heard this said about Domino's pizza. People who say this are wrong, except when I say it about the Tesco Spanish tortilla - it's also quite like eating styrofoam. The Lidl Spanish tortilla is okay, much better by comparison.

The Future..?

Nothing exists in the space between gears. A mind cannot outrace a machine. A mind cannot outrace a machine. Nothing exists in the space between gears.

Can dreams lie? Most definitely. Can cities lie? Not well, and not easily. But what of a city in a dream? Boston calls to me, like the waves of a risen tide. A poor memory works only backwards. I am in Boston, and its streets are swept with tephra. I am in Boston, and gorge rises in my throat as I stumble away from the sea. Tasmanian devils chase me through space and time. I am going to Boston and I am leaving Boston. The wakened Boston is a discarded chrysalis and a thousand diaphonous wasps have eaten its transmogrifying corpse and hatched into sleep. They are coming home.