Monday, March 4, 2019

D20x5 Trendy Trolls

Yeet me up some jotnar

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D20 This troll resembles:
1 A scaly wolf with the thumbed hands and feet of a great ape.
2 A goose-footed giant with seaweed for hair.
3 A beetle-browed brute with tusks that reach up past their forehead and tattoos that depict the world’s beginning and ending.
4 A statue of clear glacial ice, smooth human form on one side, jagged spikes on the other.
5 A craggy hill with a dope-dull face, lifting its hem as if it’s a dress to reveal rock-toed elephantine feet.
6 A squat slab of muscles, twice as broad than they are tall and as tall as a barn.
7 A green and warty hunchback with the head of a fish.
8 A very large and wild-haired person. Their expression is fixed on their face. When they need to change it, they wrench their neck around to reveal another face from beneath their hair. They’ve got more faces than it should be possible to hide under even all that hair.
9 Gravel poured into the mold of a very fat person.
10 A limping satyr, their left side skeletally skinny, their right side ruddy and plump.
11 A boar whose shoulders brush the tops of the trees, whose every bristle is a bronze spear. Its sides glisten with wounds and old blood.
12 A boneless titan crammed mollusc-like into a shell made from wrecked ships.
13 A furred, two-headed serpent as thick around as a barrel. A bearded man’s face leers from the fork where the necks meet the body.
14 A black river flowing freely over the earth, capped by a massive crocodilian skull. Scrabbling limbs stick out from the water only to collapse back in as it moves.
15 A warrior with armour and flesh sculpted from the same wet red clay.
16 A two-headed crow big enough to hold a horse in one talon. Its four eye sockets are empty, and dribble maggots constantly.
17 A person built like a boulder with the equally oversized head of a leopard seal.
18 A hunchback whose hunch is a whole mountain in miniature, complete with snowy crown.
19 A potbellied ancient with brambles for hair, seeds for teeth, and berries sprouting like pustules on their skin.
20 A shield-maiden as tall as a tree, with skin and hair and armour all the colours of a sunrise.
D20 This troll can:
1 Shrink as small as a thimble or grow as large as a barn.
2 Eat anything, in any quantity, without getting full.
3 Change the seasons in its surroundings, summon a snowstorm in summer, cause fruit to ripen on the vine, and so on.
4 Sniff out the exact location of meat from a mile off.
5 Outwrestle anything.
6 Provoke people into irrational rage towards itself by taunting them.
7 Summon thunder and lightning by shouting.
8 Pull up the roots of castles and mountains to make them crumble to dust.
9 Forge brutal magic objects from the bones of elves and men.
10 Pull itself inside-out. Its reversed body resembles a relatively harmless non-troll creature.
11 Dissolve into flakes of lichen carried on a wind, to buffet and fly.
12 Instantly heal any wound which does not kill it in one strike.
13 Bleed the mead of (1d4): 1, poetry; 2, false revelation; 3, infatuation; 4, banality.
14 Place a glamour to disguise natural features as artificial things, no matter how big the disparity. Someone who sees the ocean disguised as a cup of wine, for example, will believe the cup is endlessly self-refilling as they drink it.
15 Raise the dead as pseudo-living servants by wrapping their fleshless bones in their flayed skin.
16 Produce clouds of toxic gas by belching or farting.
17 Cause a boiling hot spring to bubble up from the earth by stomping it.
18 Pervert the powers of the divine, ironically twisting them from their intended purpose.
19 Ask the moon to answer truthfully of one thing it has ever witnessed once per night.
20 Travel through the many realms beyond the mortal one, and carry companions along on the journey.
D20 This troll dwells:
1 In a mead-hall carved into a mountain’s crown.
2 In a bathhouse that draws from boiling, sulphurous pools.
3 In a palace half-drowned in a swamp.
4 At a cavern-mouth where a raging river disappears down the earth’s gullet.
5 In a lost fort that’s been halfway rebuilt with the crushed bodies of its former garrison for mortar.
6 In a log cabin where only the bravest foresters dare to tread.
7 In a castle of sun-bleached coral atop a seamount.
8 In the gatehouse of a half-real mountain pass that leads into Fairyland.
9 In a hut of rusted blades among the narrows of an ancient battlefield.
10 In a tent made from the bones and hide of some great behemoth.
11 In a temple reclaimed by wilderness, its broken idols piled in a filthy midden.
12 By a mossy dock, where it’s building a boat from the teeth and nails of everyone who’s come to kill it.
13 In a pit hidden in the fields near a village, picking off its inhabitants for its larder.
14 Nowhere for long. It’s been nomadic since humans first settled in one place.
15 In a manor made of torn-up road-bricks.
16 Among the ruins of the only human civilization it’s ever admired.
17 In a tower of precariously piled gibbers.
18 In the titanic branches of a grove grafted with twigs from the world-tree.
19 In a crevasse it’s carved in a vast and blasted steppe.
20 In a cozy (for a troll) cottage beneath a hill.
D20 This troll keeps the company of:
1 A coven of fortune-twisting witches.
2 A fire elemental bound to its hearth.
3 Berserkers who can become bears, and bears who can become berserkers.
4 Some skalds it’s kidnapped and pit against each other in an artistic contest.
5 A chronicler it’s coerced into recording its life-story, and have secretly become infatuated with.
6 Some dwarf-smiths it’s commissioned to make it a peerless suit of armour.
7 A clan of good-humoured ogres it’s allowed to hunt in its territory.
8 A circle of bloodthirsty druids.
9 Its own half-troll brood.
10 An undead warrior who has sworn never to rest until the troll is dead.
11 A very jaded, very rich prostitute.
12 A small army of caged thralls.
13 A hive of humanoid grubs that worship it as their deity.
14 A skywhale.
15 Some elves who tend a garden of magic fruit for it.
16 Nothing and no one but its high, horrifically treacherous fence.
17 The severed head of its brother, still muttering dreamy dooms.
18 Fellow connoisseurial man-eaters.
19 A priceless, precious-metal statue it speaks to as though the statue were able to respond.
20 Its hateful huskarls, bound by honour and nothing else.
D20 This troll’s weakness:
1 Is goat horns, which always deal grievous wounds if they strike it.
2 Is the sound of bells, which both enrage and keep it at bay. It will return to destroy them and whoever rang them when they stop ringing.
3 Is the blood of the truly pious, which poisons it if it’s ingested.
4 Is bridges. It cannot cross any body of water forded by one. It can still destroy the bridge though.
5 Is its pride. It can never resist a challenge.
6 Is the flesh of the faithful, which is an unmatched delicacy to it.
7 Is that it can only ever see through one layer of deception. A lie within a lie, or a disguise under a disguise would be impenetrable to it.
8 Is that it has tremendous respect for poetry. It will never directly harm someone reciting poetry, so long as the poetry is recited well.
9 The magic of the gods, which it struggles to resist.
10 A singing stone it tries to hide but can never truly be rid of, and which will kill the troll if the two ever touch.
11 Is its hunger. It must consume a tremendous amount of food each day, or else it will starve.
12 Is its thirst for alcohol, and propensity to drunken foolishness.
13 Is its tendency to fall head-over-heels in love with the last pretty thing it’s seen.
14 Is healing magic, which will cause its natural regeneration to erupt into cancerous chaos.
15 Is its inevitable fate to die by (1d6): 1, fire; 2, venom; 3, a strike to the middle of its temple; 4, yew wood; 5, the hands of a child; 6, a weapon forged before its birth, which will always deal the maximum possible damage to it.
16 An old oath it swore, which weakens it every moment it spends on land credibly claimed by humanity.
17 Its ancient age, which has robbed it of its strength and good sense.
18 Is the enmity of the oceans, which hate it as deeply as their trenches fall.
19 Is its great greed. It will risk much for relatively little profit.
20 Its rivals among its own kind, who would wager much on a venture to see it harmed.


  1. Were there any inspirations for these Trolls?

    1. Very loosely: the jotnar and other bits of norse myth, as well as assorted troll folklore.