Tuesday, October 25, 2022

D20x5 Evil High Priests

Click the button below for an evil high priest of your very own:


Special thanks to Spwack for his generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20 This evil high priest wears
1 a purple veil sewn with a monstrous, roaring face.
2 only a loincloth, exposing the scars and suppurating sores of their self-flagellation.
3 a great many scarves tipped with fangs and talons like tassels.
4 ash-dulled chains and manacles symbolizing their divine bondage.
5 a black cloak with a face-concealing hood, embroidered with sigils in crimson thread.
6 a harness fitted with vials and syringes that provide them with a steady drip of entheogenic concoctions.
7 a profusion of torcs, necklaces, and amulets which pull their neck and shoulders down into a painful-looking slouch.
8 a brazen crown of entangled antlers or horns.
9 the exoskeleton of some enormous, iridescent scarab as a suit of armour.
10 a rough-edged mantle stitched together from the hides of spotted beasts.
11 wavy blades pierced through their flesh.
12 steel bracers and greaves molded to resemble inhumanly distended hands grasping their limbs.
13 their hair braided into nooses, with small animals hanged with those nooses.
14 a mask of rippling mercury.
15 a belt of shrunken heads.
16 grills that give them bejeweled tusks.
17 a prosthetic nose resembling a vampire bat's or some fucked-up mole's, carved from a pale fungus that weeps scarlet ichor.
18 barbed iron gauntlets with needle-tipped fingers.
19 a leaden diadem ringed with living, bloodshot eyes.
20 a gaudy ring set with a dark blue gem as large as their proximal phalange. The bound and howling souls of sinners against their faith can be seen banging against the inner side of the gem.
D20 This evil high priest's religion
1 is a complete personal invention of theirs, built from the ground up to flatter their ego and line their pockets.
2 worships the fell sire of a sprawling lineage of ghouls, an ancient carrion-lord that instructs its spawn and acolytes in the art of eating life for power.
3 preaches the surgical, eugenic, and magical mutilation of humanity into a new ideal form.
4 has as its central idol a comet that heralds apocalyptic disaster when its orbit carries it close to the world once every age.
5 worships nameless chthonic deities that demand constant, extravagant blood sacrifice in exchange for not rising up to devour the surface world.
6 venerates a three-headed hag who weaves dooms and nightmares on her wretched loom in the grey wastes at the edge of reality.
7 teaches an absolute nihilism, the ultimate unreality of all things.
8 worships the imprisoned losers of a titanic war in eons past between the gods and their progenitors.
9 is ethnically chauvinist, seeing the EHP's people as the only ones deserving of salvation, while all others are destined to be their slaves in this life and the next.
10 is an elaborate rationalization of the death of a beloved sibling they witnessed in their youth, resulting in Molochian child sacrifice to a brass idol.
11 teaches that the causal relationship between objects and their shadows is in fact the inverse of what is commonly believed, and that we are all truly puppets of darkness.
12 worships an occulted constellation of terrible stars that radiate beams of malice towards the world.
13 is impersonal and deistic, seeking to attain a mathematical cosmic perfection without room for humanity.
14 teaches that the ultimate creator of the world is a simple beast, and that the best way to pay homage to this creator is by indulging our base desires as beasts do.
15 venerates an invisible jellyfish-god whose curse-bearing tentacles they preach surround all things, opening a path free of suffering only for those who follow its will.
16 worships an entire parliament of devils, each with their own baroque titles, powers, and symbols.
17 sees the world as irredeemably sinful, with only the parasitic intervention of their mosquito-god being able to drain people to a level of purity and moral worth.
18 is a death-cult which preaches that the supreme creator of the universe was killed by their treacherous children, and now desires only for all their creations to join them in destruction.
19 teaches that humans are incomplete and inferior creatures, and that only by inviting in a possessing demon can people become whole.
20 worships a cruel trickster god whose schadenfreudenous pranks bring utter ruin to their victims.
D20 This evil high priest's manner
1 is wolfish. They eat constantly and messily, and seek strength in overwhelming numbers.
2 is shark-like. As soon as they detect weakness or injury they seek to exploit it robotically.
3 is bullish. They're intractable and aggressive, keen to butt heads.
4 is eel-like. They are slippery, slimy, and act indirectly when possible.
5 is like that of a cowardly snail, retreating into the protective shell of their dogma whenever challenged.
6 is ant-like. They're a conformity-loving busybody.
7 is like an owl - observant, rarely blinking, silent and surgical when they choose to strike.
8 is monkeyish. They're curious, clingy, and kleptomaniacal.
9 is lionish - prideful and lazy.
10 is cobra-like. They're venomous in speech, flexible in thought and ethics.
11 is distant and mad as the moon.
12 is hubristic and yappy like an ill-mannered chihuahua.
13 is like a cockroach - quick, tough, and totally unsqueamish.
14 is like an orchid mantis - luring people in with a pretty, polite exterior then exploiting or killing them with insectile callousness.
15 is like a fly - flighty, cautious, and irritating.
16 is like a dragon, greedy and imperious.
17 is like a blobfish, dour and flabby.
18 is goat-like, lecherous and filthy.
19 is like a villainous Woody Allen character - shy, self-deprecating, and utterly narcissistic.
20 is like a playful and sadistic cat.
D20 This evil high priest's castle
1 was stolen from a legitimate and well-liked noble family, who the EHP and their entourage are currently impersonating.
2 is in the hollow leg of an immense colossus, the rest of its body shattered and strewn about the landscape.
3 is carved throughout a butte, its winding passages and hidden halls revealing unsettling fossils reaching from the stone.
4 is the desecrated temple of another religion, fortified with barricades of dismantled furniture.
5 is a ziggurat with gore-soaked steps. Fat vultures flap about it and accost visitors, attempting to trip them down its stairs to a broken neck.
6 is in fact a walled-off aboveground graveyard full of mausoleums that they've repurposed, exhuming the interred bodies to use their bones for amusing decorations.
7 sits on an eroding isle in the middle of a river, the sunken stones of its curtain wall used as a makeshift harbour.
8 is a cluster of towers, only one of which has an entrance at ground level - the rest connected by bridges high above. Vicious bald apes nest among the towers' eaves and clamber across vines on their sides.
9 is full of statues and topiary to which they have added their own grotesque modifications.
10 is a slumping construction of drystacked stones halfway molten by exposure to some unimaginable heat in forgotten history.
11 is in fact the hydroelectric dam of a more technologically-advanced fallen civilization.
12 is nestled between the fingers of two gigantic hands stretching out of the earth.
13 sits on a promontory, the rocky beaches of which are littered with the reeking bodies of dead fish and seabirds.
14 sits in a mist-shrouded vale haunted by will-o'-wisps and life-hungry ghosts.
15 is constantly remodelled according to their passing whims by enslaved chain gangs.
16 was once a walled-in leprosarium and attached monastery, but the EHP slaughtered the lepers and the monks who cared for them.
17 is dome-shaped and built into a crater. It is made of oddly-buoyant, greasy stone and wrought meteoric iron.
18 has flayed skins nailed to its gates and flying from its parapets.
19 is an old and long-abandoned place undergoing repairs by a family of inbred giants sworn to the service of the EHP.
20 is centered around an amphitheater where the EHP subjects their followers and captives to daily rants.
D20 This evil high priest's finger of death
1 causes one's eyes and brain to liquefy from forcible eldritch revelation.
2 causes stigmata to open on its victims which bleed an unnatural volume of blood.
3 causes every bone in its victims' bodies to be snapped and crumpled.
4 immolates its victims with an unwholesome green flame.
5 causes victims to pop out of reality with a sucking howl.
6 causes victims to disintegrate into a cloud of pink mist.
7 freezes victims at the point of expiration, leaving them a shrieking, rigor mortis-wracked half-corpse.
8 causes victims to feel such intense fear that their hair goes white and their hearts stop.
9 rapidly ages its victims until they're nothing but dust.
10 lashes out as a bolt of black lightning with a thunderclap that sounds like an agonized scream.
11 cuts its victims to pieces as if with a hundred invisible knives.
12 kills in a manner indistinguishable from acute radiation poisoning.
13 will rebound back on them if they use it on a true innocent.
14 warps victims into mewling, asymmetric, and blessedly short-lived lumps of flesh.
15 reduces victims to a pile of steaming bones.
16 causes mouths to appear out of empty space and devour its victims in a matter of seconds.
17 causes victims to be swiftly overgrown and consumed by stinking fungi.
18 reduces its victims to a moldy silhouette on the ground or wall behind where they stood.
19 causes victims to immediately manifest buboes and necrotic rashes and other such symptoms of terminal disease.
20 causes the bodies of those it slays to dissolve into a pool of poisonous vermin.

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