Thursday, January 2, 2025

D6x6 Unaccountable UFOs

Click the button below to generate your UFO:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6 This UFO looks like 
1 a golden bullet surrounded by a halo of distorted space, which moves by rapidly stretching into a cigar and snapping into its new position rather than flying conventionally.
2 a platinum horseshoe spinning around a shining orb.
3 both a spider and a spiderweb at once, limned in emerald-green, plucking its way through the air.
4 a fluttering metallic wedge weightlessly dripping an oily, blistering sheen.
5 a cluster of bismuth cubes constantly changing in size and orbiting the largest among them at that moment.
6 a shimmering quicksilver shape that shifts between a crescent and a disc like the moon changing phases reflected on the surface of a rippling pond.
D6 This UFO has been observed 
1 flying in formation with flocks of birds.
2 diving into bodies of water.
3 buzzing hospitals with the highest birth and death rates in the country.
4 positioning itself between the Earth and the Moon.
5 hovering over locations where disasters would later occur.
6 tracing the paths of ancient eel weirs.
D6 If people get near this UFO 
1 it phases out of existence, reappearing later somewhere else.
2 it zaps them with increasingly-large & -charged balls of plasma until they go away.
3 they explode, and their exploded bits mutate into independent organisms.
4 they are lifted into the air and scanned by it, before being placed gently back onto the nearest red surface.
5 they experience symptoms similar to severe scurvy, and are compelled to sing an atonal song.
6 they become catatonic, and come to hours later with dream-like implanted memories of the time they spent out of it.
D6 The public response to this UFO 
1 has been to blame it on Iran, and launch a sort of popular crusade against it on lake-boats launched into the Pacific Ocean carrying hunting rifle-bearing militias - most lost or losing heart before coming within 10,000 miles of the Arabian Sea.
2 has been an explosion of social media influencers claiming to be UFO whisperers.
3 has been to hold impromptu rave parties wherever it's spotted.
4 has been general apathy.
5 has been a renewed support for NASA & all things astronautical.
6 has been to form a cult worshiping it as a new god, and hunting down and publicly executing astronomers who were assumed to have been hiding the truth of the UFO-god.
D6 The official cover-up for this UFO 
1 is that it is a new style of holiday blimp.
2 is that it is an optical illusion created by a solar flare refracting through the atmosphere.
3 is to say that anyone who notices it is actually revealing their bigoted anti-government views.
4 is that it is an unusually large & ugly bird whose magnetic navigation sense has been disrupted by improperly-broadcast 5G.
5 is that the fluoride put into local water is contaminated with datura extract.
6 is that it's a cloud of gas released from permafrost by global warming.
D6 This UFO is really 
1 the astral projection of a psychic, though otherwise unremarkable, giant squid.
2 a Project Blue Beam hologram.
3 a 300,000 year-old chrononautical craft from the Jebel Irhoudian civilization on a one-way jaunt into the future.
4 the machine-body of a Procyonian energy-being, who has traveled many light years only to be disappointed that all the TV shows it loves have ended or been cancelled.
5 an experimental autonomous military drone that's gone rogue.
6 the feeler of an ultraterrestrial entity, groping around for a warp in space-time it can pull a larger portion of its body through.

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

D6x6 Lonely Lake Monsters

Click the button below to get your lake monster:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6This lake monster looks like
1a classic plesiosaurian.
2a ningen out of Japanese urban legend, a pale and flabby mermaidish thing of giantish stature.
3a great serpent, or eel, or worm, no feature distinguishing enough to comfortably identify it as one or another.
4some bastard offspring of nautilus and sea urchin, tentacled and spiny.
5the ambiguous rotten sludge of a globster, bones juxtaposed in exo- and endoskeletal positions.
6a limbless, eyeless toad or newt of gargantuan size, a warty gaping hulk.
D6This lake monster is
1a shadow-organism which slipped through a crack in the lakebed to a deep aquifer-biome.
2a forgotten god, and without regular contact with humanity it has dwindled in power and lost its human form.
3the result of an epigenetic metamorphosis implanted in early humanity by agents unknown, and triggered in an unfortunate swimmer by an improperly-disposed-of Cold War-era bioweapon.
4an extraterrestrial entity whose impact into the planet first carved out its lake.
5something that was originally an actual hoax, but initial belief in it provided the "skin" for a Qlippothic unentity to wear in reality.
6the monstrous child born to a cursed local family of some renown, spared infanticide by its pitying aunt.
D6The lake where this lake monster dwells
1sits in a maar, and is unusually warm & sulphurous.
2was extended into a jagged line by water seeping into a tectonic rift.
3is regularly roiled by winds into devastating waves.
4is far deeper than it is wide, plunging to lightless and lifeless depths.
5is home to a libertarian crew of pseudo-seasteaders who maintain a settlement on a clutch of lashed-together boats and pontoons and adrift docks.
6is choked with algae bloomed from agricultural run-off.
D6Reports of this lake monster are typically blamed on
1an escaped circus elephant that went for a swim.
2a crashed hot air balloon.
3the homemade submarine of an eccentic millionaire.
4a tree toppled and blown into the lake by a heavy wind.
5fish that got out from a now-defunct fish farm which once operated in the lake, the stock of which were given an experimental growth hormone.
6inconsiderate scuba divers.
D6This lake monster exhibits the anomalous ability
1of an infrasonic groan that drives those who hear it into a paroxysm of thirst, driving them to shove their heads into toilets or leap into the lake to slake it.
2to control the water around it, as well as the watery weather - clouds & fogs & suchlike, but not so much winds.
3to inject people with a virus that turns them into subservient hybrids.
4to subconsciously influence people who sleep near its lake through their dreams.
5of being able to exhale a cloud of suffocating poison.
6of psychic shapeshifting - not actually changing its physical form, but changing in the perception of others into any organism that inhabited its lake.
D6This lake monster is studied by
1a tweed-clad & stuttering local folklorist who is secretly a serial killer who drowns their victims (mostly tourists) to appease the monster.
2the ex-hippie leader of a group of gross old swingers, who believes the monster to be an avatar of the feminine power of water and the age of Aquarius.
3a marine biology student who doesn't quite believe in the monster, but thinks promoting it is a good way to raise awareness of aquatic ecosystems.
4the research team of a biopharmaceutical company, operating illegally in the belief that the profit they could make off the monster far outweighs the risk of bypassing government regulation.
5a rising star artist who exclusively paints glimpses he's caught of the monster.
6a Catholic priest who believes it to be a devil which slipped out of a river of Hell, and seeks to exorcise it.