Friday, May 30, 2025

D6x6 Handsome Hadozee

Heard these guys are racist now.

Click the button below to get your very own hadozee:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6These hadozee kind of look like
1orangutans.
2gorillas.
3gibbons.
4chimpanzees.
5mandrills.
6emperor tamarins.
D6Except that these hadozee also
1have a mohawk-like sagittal crest that blends into a sail down their back.
2have four independently-moving eyes like a chameleon.
3have viciously-clawed & envenomed foot-thumbs.
4have colourful feathers instead of fur.
5have bonelessly tentacular fingers and toes.
6have prehensile snoods dangling from their faces, somewhat like a turkey's.
D6These hadozee fly
1by inflating their massively overdeveloped vocal sac.
2with wings of retractable finger-webbing stretched between their elongated digits.
3with their patagium - classic style.
4by spinning their tail like a helicopter.
5by swimming through the air, buoyed by the super-buoyant gases in their bone marrow.
6by electrostatically activating their fur to float through magnetic fields.
D6These hadozee come from
1primates sent into the void to test the first spelljammers, the magical equivalent of Albert I et al.
2Earth, a version of Earth where apes took over after humans wiped themselves out - it fell out of an interdimensional rift or something.
3a sort of King Kong situation, only the tower their Ymirian, King Kong-esque primordial progenitor climbed was tall enough to reach into space.
4the same thing every other sort of animal-people come from in fantasy-space: sexual deviance.
5the same world as humans, in ancient times. Per legend there was a contest between humans and hadozee, with the prize being the inheritance of the world - humans won, and yet the hadozee received their own world as a consolation prize, where small foolish humans take the places that apes & monkeys would on the human-controlled world.
6nowhere in particular, that anyone can remember - they've been around so long that there's a million stories about it.
D6These hadozee are often
1found carrying panpipes which are also stacks of blowguns which can be fired in quick succession - all musical styles are also martial arts (and vice-versa) across their cultures.
2found among rebels and revolutionaries - a great uprising on their homeworld was recently crushed, and the survivors were scattered across the void, still full of zeal.
3haters of the rain, and of getting wet - preferring to use scented oils & cloths instead of bathing to clean themselves, and carrying an umbrella whenever the sky is even somewhat cloudy.
4bare - shaving oneself is the go-to for losing a bet, or showing one's sincerity, or whatever other such minor sacrifice.
5vegetarians, seeing the consumption of flesh as a barbaric vice.
6anti-acrophobic, finding comfort in heights rather than fear.
D6These hadozee's spelljammers tend to
1be voluminous vessels, an envelope bulging with atmosphere around a spindly armature - their numbers within, equipped and ready for boarding, making up for the relative fragility.
2be modular and inter-operable, sub-crew piecing together custom combo-ships for each job.
3be live star-beasts they've tamed & built habitable compartments in the cavities of.
4be hard little slivers with over-massive drives - deft at maneuvering, and at ramming, and at little else.
5be shaped like bananas, though they will insist that they actually resemble crescent moons - the symbol of their chief goddess.
6be oribcular jacks-of-all-trades, though always with one little gimmick or trick that throws opponents a curveball.

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