D50x2+D20 Conditional Invulnerabilities

Generator automator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D50	This being cannot be harmed by
1	blades, spears, nor any edged or piercing weapons,
2	any beast of the land, bird of the air, or fish of the water,
3	anyone who seeks to do them deliberate harm,
4	sneak attacks, ambushes, and backstabs,
5	anyone who has killed before,
6	magic,
7	anything,
8	men,
9	women,
10	adults,
11	hammers, maces, or any other bludgeon,
12	any ranged weapon,
13	starvation, suffocation, nor any other sort of deprivation,
14	the living,
15	manufactured things,
16	fire, acid, or anything else that burns and stings,
17	mortal wounds (though not any wounds that fall short of mortal),
18	anything which does not come from the northeast,
19	sickness or poison,
20	the decrepitude of aging,
21	sighted people,
22	sober people,
23	people who are awake,
24	metal or stone, wood or bone,
25	anyone with all their limbs,
26	anyone who hasn’t been invited into their home,
27	anything that’s ever drunk its mother’s milk,
28	weapons that have been used before,
29	the same thing more than once,
30	anything which would not kill them in a single blow,
31	any attack that strikes their skin (orifices and internals remain vulnerable),
32	any attack outside the bounds of a formal duel,
33	anyone with hair on their head or face,
34	anything that is indoors or outdoors,
35	either the old or the young,
36	anything held in a hand,
37	any attack which comes from above or below them,
38	any attack which would leave a mark on their body,
39	any attack which makes a noise,
40	any moving object,
41	fire, earth, air, water, or anything derived from the same,
42	anything solid,
43	anyone who holds a worldly possession,
44	anyone who’s accepted a gift from them,
45	anyone they can perceive,
46	any attack aimed directly at them,
47	anyone close enough to touch them,
48	anyone wearing less expensive clothes than them,
49	anyone who can’t rightly answer their riddle,
50	anyone who’s told a lie,

D50	unless
1	they’ve fallen in love.
2	they’re laughing.
3	their feet are touching the ground.
4	they’ve displeased their spiritual patron who granted their invulnerability.
5	it is a holy day.
6	they are directly beneath the open sky.
7	they’ve breached the code of hospitality.
8	they’re standing still.
9	their true name is known by one who wishes them harm.
10	they’re clean.
11	they’ve recently eaten meat.
12	the one who wishes them harm is a relative of theirs, by blood, marriage, adoption, or otherwise.
13	they haven’t slept in the dirt of their homeland in the last three days.
14	the horrific parasite that grants their invulnerability has been extracted or regurgitated from their stomach.
15	they’re officially recognized as a criminal in the land they’re in.
16	they are beaten in some non-violent contest.
17	they can hear music.
18	their special hat is knocked off their head.
19	they’re shown their own reflection.
20	the painting which receives wounds in their stead is destroyed.
21	they’ve done a kind deed since the sun last rose.
22	they’re upside-down.
23	the one who wishes them harm accepts an identical wound.
24	the harm is first dealt to a model made in their image.
25	someone is ritually harmed by the same mean(s) in front of them.
26	they believe it’s actually another source of harm.
27	it’s the night of the new moon.
28	they refuse an invitation.
29	their second heart which they hid in a chest is destroyed.
30	they’re inebriated.
31	they’re too distracted to concentrate on maintaining their partial invulnerability.
32	they’re in the shadow of a black cat.
33	they inhale the smoke from a cremated corpse.
34	three religious leaders of different faiths issue condemnations of them.
35	they’ve just had the best day of their life.
36	they’re prepared as a live sacrifice for a fell deity.
37	they’re beaten in a rhyming contest.
38	a mock funeral is held for them.
39	they believe they’re already dead.
40	they walk under a doorway where an iron horseshoe’s hung.
41	they’re slapped with a fish.
42	the harm is done with their opposite, a partially unstoppable weapon created in the same moment they became (sort of) invulnerable.
43	the means of harm has been coated or mixed with the juice of nightshade.
44	they want to die.
45	sunlight is shining on them.
46	they’re buried in the dirt.
47	a live snake is wrapped around their neck.
48	they’ve been staked to a mountaintop.
49	they’ve broken a hen’s egg.
50	they’ve got blood on them.

D20	Why is this being (conditionally) invulnerable?
1	Fate has decreed that they must not die by certain means lest the fabric of the divine order of things be frayed.
2	They drank a potion distilled from the waters in which Achilles was dipped by Thetis.
3	They sold their soul to a demon for invulnerability, but had already promised a fragment of it to another entity so they didn’t get the whole package.
4	They’re the god-child of a witch, who granted it as a gift.
5	They’re a potent wild talent whose ability manifests in this manner duel to psychological idiosyncrasies.
6	They meditated for years without stopping until the cosmos recognized their merit with this blessing.
7	They’re a living glitch in physics.
8	They burned away their weakness in primordial fire, which is to the paltry embers of these latter days as the tyrannosaurus rex is to the chicken.
9	They were enchanted by a wizard to serve as a durable component in an occult machine.
10	They’ve been made the live phylactery of a distant lich.
11	They outwrestled an angel and so won a boon from it.
12	They impressed a fairy-prince who then blessed them with it.
13	The strength of their soul is such that some of its imperishable light reinforces their mortal flesh.
14	They exacted promises from foundational spirits of the world not to do them harm if they keep to certain taboos.
15	There’s an invincible adamant elemental somewhere up the trunk of their family tree.
16	They grafted a scrap of leather from the divine aegis onto their flesh.
17	They tricked the psychopomp responsible for managing their death.
18	They were a test subject for an attempt at one of the great works of alchemy, the creation of the invincible and eternal Resurrection Body.
19	For reasons unknown and incomprehensible to mortals they’ve gained the protection of an eldritch entity.
20	It’s merely pure, astoundingly unlikely luck that they’re not harmed in certain circumstances.

D100+ Busy Bureaucrats

Generator automator here: http://paperelemental.blogspot.com/p/list-to-html-generator.html

D20x5 Rash Rakshasas

Generator automator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	This rakshasa has the head of
1	a rabid dhole, foaming at the mouth. They are explosively short-tempered.
2	an elephant whose trunk is a leech. They will hold a grudge even long after the target of it has died.
3	a snow leopard. They are cold and unfazeable.
4	a tiger. They are proud and cruel even by the standards of their kind.
5	a fanged kiang. They are wild and hate restrictions more than anything else.
6	a vampire bat. They are obscure and secretive even when it might help them to be more direct.
7	a gangetic dolphin. They loathe tedium and try to make everything into a game.
8	a wild buffalo. They are ferociously loyal, and expect the same of their fellows. Any falling short of this is considered treachery of the lowest sort.
9	a lion with a braided and bejewelled mane. They believe that all creatures exist to serve them, and that behaviour to the contrary violates the natural order of things.
10	a hooded cobra. They are spiteful and can’t help but insult everyone around them.
11	a leopard. They live for the hunt and testing themself against worthy prey.
12	a wild boar with spiralling tusks. They can’t stand pretension or aristocratic seemings, except in themself.
13	an albino crocodile. They are slothful in everything except weaving webs of conspiracy, and prefer to get others to do the hard and dirty work for them.
14	a bengal fox. They will always speak lies if they think they can get away with it.
15	a black bharal with pupils that dilate into rude sigils. They delight in blasphemy and obscenities.
16	a caracal. They see everything in transactional terms, and hold no higher good than turning a profit.
17	a lynx. They can’t relax around someone until they’ve proven their superiority to them.
18	a great hornbill. They are paranoid and tend to layer every sort of protection around themself.
19	a leering mongoose. They are compelled to scheme and feud well above their ability to follow through.
20	a hyena. They laugh at murder and quiver at the sunrise. Their reactions are never quite what you’d expect.

D20	This rakshasa has the body of
1	a great ape. They are prone to fits of bestial idiocy.
2	a gaunt, starving person. They are never satisfied.
3	an obese person. They adore luxury and indulgence.
4	a muscular man. They will tolerate no challenge to their warrior’s honour.
5	a voluptuous woman. They enjoy seducing others into self-destruction.
6	a rotting corpse. They are morbid and prefer to keep the company of the dead over the living.
7	an ash-painted ascetic. They maintain a facade of piety when it’s convenient.
8	a lanky giant. They consider all things to be within their rightful grasp.
9	a scrawny runt. They’re driven by a tremendous Napoleon complex.
10	a sumo wrestler, or a powerlifter: plump and buff. They consider themself a peer of even the highest gods.
11	a lithe dancer. Grace and beauty (or their lack) carry the weight of right and wrong for it.
12	a scarred and mutilated flagellant. They resent their evil nature but can never overcome it for long.
13	a hunched and decrepit ancient. They see the world through jadedness that comes by long epochs lived in it.
14	a deformed mutant with an uneven number of limbs. They have a loathsome love for the outcast and pariah.
15	a skinless vivisectee. They feel no distinction between pleasure and pain.
16	a wrinkled and saggy elder. They can’t stand change, and push for stagnation wherever possible.
17	a lesioned leper. They fear the contamination of humanity.
18	someone singed and burned, red raw flesh peeking between the cracks in black char. They wish to destroy themself and everything else along with them.
19	a crooked, broken person. Their mind is as fractured as their body.
20	a child. They are young for their kind, and keen to prove themself.

D20	This rakshasa’s lair
1	is infested with monkeys, their inconstant servants.
2	is a fortress lost to the encroaching jungle.
3	is a slum of which they’re the lord of. They keep their ownership hidden behind layers of proxies.
4	is the camp of a bandit clan who venerate and fear them.
5	is an opium den bent by its patrons’ collective fantasies leaking into reality.
6	is a grotto behind a waterfall.
7	is a tower where corpses are left for birds.
8	is vast blue halls carved through a mountain glacier.
9	contains a menagerie of colourful beasts from across the earth.
10	is a huge howdah atop the back of an equally huge tortoise.
11	is a gargantuan cenotaph to all the world’s dead.
12	is hidden two-dimensionally in the figures of a shadow play.
13	is in a Grand Guignol-esque theatre where public sensibility is challenged by scandal and gore.
14	is a haunted palace abandoned by a now-extinct dynasty because of the weight of its tragedy.
15	is a castle that floats on a cloud of congealed miasma.
16	is hidden magically in a bazaar, accessible only by those who make a coded series of transactions.
17	is a keep on a borderland, the garrison of which has been subverted from soldierly professionalism to base bloodlust by the rakshasa’s forged orders.
18	warps and twists like a living thing. Rooms and passages within it change between encounters.
19	contains a hive of torture chambers outfit with every imaginable implement.
20	imprisons a petty divinity, being slowly drained of blood to win the favour of a clan of leech-men.

D20	This rakshasa’s magic
1	inflicts terror and hallucinations.
2	manipulates dreams and nightmares.
3	conjures up demons. They have many infernal favours to call in, but in turn are bound by bizarre taboos.
4	lets them warp and weave flesh. Their lair is decorated with their living art pieces.
5	lets them change size, and into the shape of any beast.
6	can alter the weather for miles around.
7	calls forth sickness and contamination.
8	raises unburied and unburned corpses under their command.
9	comes from a divine artifact they have stolen and profaned.
10	can create cold fire and burning ice.
11	twists shadows and makes them physical objects.
12	can dominate weak and desperate wills.
13	draws on the stuff of wastelands: sandstorms that flay flesh from bone, starvation that withers its victims away in seconds, and the like.
14	is prone to flaring uncontrollably due to an old wound they received from a cursed blade.
15	was sealed away by a bodhisattva. They’d do anything to get it back.
16	can peer into the dark secrets held in mortal hearts.
17	lets them pass invisibly and fly on the wind.
18	augments their swordplay and archery.
19	weaves smoke and razors like a spider’s web.
20	is enhanced by their pacts with the dark spirits of the land. Breaking those would weaken them.

D20	This rakshasa plots
1	to gather a cult by posing as a god.
2	to exploit a heroic warrior’s tragic flaw to precipitate their downfall.
3	to desecrate the temple and slaughter the priests of a minor sect.
4	to break into a royal tomb and eat the noble bones within.
5	to host a festival for the damned in the streets of an unsuspecting city on an inauspicious date.
6	to artificially manufacture a child by merging the head of an animal with a decapitated human body.
7	to trick a monk off the path of enlightenment.
8	to arrange a mass sacrifice and harness its power to ascend to a more terrible form.
9	to foment an invasion of a neighbouring nation and use that as cover to steal their lore and artifacts.
10	to seduce the betrothed heir of a kingdom and so bring two families and crowns into strife.
11	to arrange the omens which mark the turning of the cosmic calendar and so prematurely start the age of discord.
12	to kidnap the newborn incarnation of a god and raise them to be a faithful servant.
13	to fake their defeat at the hands of a false champion they’re working behind the scenes with, to cement that champion’s reputation as a saviour. Both are planning to eventually betray the other.
14	to churn a stagnant, poisoned lake with an army of slaves and so produce the elixir of mortality for use against divine enemies.
15	to flood the region with weapons and unrest.
16	to sic a sacred inquisition against a rival rakshasa so that the two wipe each other out.
17	to set themself up as the head of a drug-dealing criminal empire.
18	to engage in karmic arbitrage so that they and their lackeys are reincarnated into favourable positions.
19	to raise an artificial celestial body into the sky and corrupt astrological workings to their ends.
20	to impersonate the royal vizier and counsel the lord into committing atrocities.

D20x5 Comely Coinage

If you know another language’s equivalent of “cha-ching” or a similar monetary onomatopoeia, please post it in the comments. I’m curious.

Generator automator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	These coins are made of
1	gold.
2	silver.
3	copper.
4	electrum.
5	black amber.
6	rose gold.
7	platinum.
8	orichalcum.
9	lapis lazuli.
10	solidified starlight.
11	pearl-cut discs of exacting shape and lustre.
12	galls cut from the world-tree.
13	purple-veined porcelain.
14	the iridescent elytra of a sort of flat, round beetle.
15	a sort of magnetized iron that rings quietly and constantly with a harmony proportional to its purity.
16	artificial adamant.
17	compressed ambrosia.
18	shibuichi.
19	the Platonic form of value, reified and stamped.
20	nephilim ivory.

D20	One side of these coins
1	has the stern face of a dead emperor in profile.
2	has the (inaccurate and abstracted) map of the kingdom it was minted in.
3	displays a jolly fat face.
4	holds a stern-faced sun.
5	displays a fish swimming up a waterfall.
6	bears the emblem of a noble house now fallen.
7	has been rubbed so much that the image it once held can’t be made out.
8	bears the silhouette of the tyrant who ordered it minted.
9	holds the skyline of a long-ruined city.
10	holds a monkey brandishing a blade.
11	displays an ambiguous figure reclining on a throne.
12	holds a staring owl.
13	holds a barge towed by lion-headed men.
14	displays a king in resplendent garb riding a chariot pulled by stags.
15	shows ants marching in a meandering line.
16	has a skull with yet more coins filling its empty eye sockets.
17	shows a pick striking the earth.
18	bears the image of two men exchanging gifts.
19	bears the image of a woman in a robe saluting.
20	holds a date for a calendar nobody uses anymore.

D20	The other side of these coins
1	has been scratched away entirely.
2	bears an unrecognizable numeral.
3	is decorated by a labyrinth.
4	has a prayer to a god of fair trades in calligraphic print.
5	leers with seven staring eyes.
6	has a crook and a crown.
7	has a horse rampant.
8	is inscribed with a curse on all thieves and currency debasers.
9	bears sheaves of grain.
10	displays an oak tree being split by a bolt of lightning.
11	has radiating spokes like a wheel.
12	bears a hand held open in supplication.
13	has a bundle of arrows tied together.
14	bears the image of opened gates.
15	displays a spear piercing a heart.
16	bears a burning torch.
17	holds an abstract shape like a complex knot.
18	shows a striding tortoise.
19	shows a rooster mid-crow.
20	shows a serpent twisted around a pillar.

D20	These coins are shaped
1	like fractal gears, with teeth within teeth within teeth.
2	like flattened eggs.
3	as squares.
4	like a star.
5	like a heart.
6	somewhat like a dog’s pawprint.
7	as a rectangle.
8	as a trapezoid.
9	as a triangle.
10	with a scalloped edge.
11	as a pentagon.
12	as a hexagon.
13	as a heptagon.
14	as an octagon.
15	like a spread fan.
16	as a circle.
17	like a leaf.
18	like a bottlecap.
19	like an open flower.
20	as a cross.

D20	These coins might be found
1	in a coinpurse made from a bull’s scrotum.
2	wrapped up in a bloodstained silk handkerchief.
3	under the tongue and eyelids of a corpse.
4	rolled up in a thick cheroot.
5	with holes punched through their centers, strung on a twine necklace.
6	baked into a holiday pastry.
7	trampled into a patch of dirt.
8	pinched between roots gnarled like arthritic knuckles.
9	laid out in neat stacks on a table.
10	clipped in a counterfeiter’s den.
11	in the pocket of some soiled trousers caught dangling from a branch.
12	along with assorted filth as the pot of some goblins’ gambling game.
13	at the bottom of a clear, still pool.
14	rolling towards you from under a closed door.
15	in a teak box packed with old felt to prevent them from clinking.
16	in the throat of a bug-eyed lizard that choked to death on them.
17	in a cast-aside mendicant’s bowl.
18	sewn like scales on an improvised suit of armour.
19	in a wax-sealed love letter held by a severed hand.
20	among shiny stones and trinkets in a wyvern’s paltry imitation-hoard.

D6x6 Gloomful Ghouls

Just one bite couldn’t hurt... right?

Generator automator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This ghoul looks
1	emaciated, dressed in dirty rags.
2	like a ruddy, corpulent fellow in a black funeral suit with stinking old wads of gristle stuck between their teeth.
3	like a mummy with wet red eyes and cheeks peeled away to reveal sharpened molars.
4	resplendent in decaying grave-good finery.
5	swaddled in sagging flesh, like a bloated corpse that’s been pressed for its juices.
6	like they did in life, only paler and with a wild, wolffish yearning about their eyes.

D6	This ghoul’s personality
1	is vivacious, irreverent, and self-indulgent.
2	is subsumed beneath a bleak hunger, emerging into remorseful awareness only shortly after gorging.
3	is darkly humorous and bitterly self-effacing.
4	is splintered between that of a childlike innocent and a sociopathic predator.
5	simmers resentfully towards the living.
6	is that of a sin-eater, believing they take the evils of the world into themself to save those they consume.

D6	This ghoul can
1	assume the appearance of anyone whose flesh they’ve tasted.
2	command carrion-eating animals with the promise of a shared meal.
3	dig swiftly through the earth, and drag their prey beneath.
4	launch their sticky guts out their mouth like a chameleon’s tongue to reel in prey.
5	exude a cloud of mold that rots organic matter exposed to it.
6	inflict compulsive autophagia on their enemies.

D6	This ghoul became a cannibal
1	out of desperation in a skeletally lean year.
2	as part of the rites of a transgressively hedonistic mystery cult.
3	to spite a murdered foe and rob them of a peaceful repose.
4	without their knowing after buying meat from a disreputable butcher.
5	when they were forced to by a pack of ghouls seeking to bolster their numbers.
6	so that they might transform into a ghoul and escape the sickness that was consuming their body.

D6	This ghoul prefers to get their meat
1	through traps, trickery, and proxies, still unable to look their prey in the eye.
2	fresh, to appreciate the way a cracked open skull steams.
3	seasoned to perfection, a little luxury to obscure the beastliness of their unlife.
4	from prey who’ve just been read their last rites, in the hope that this will win them a lesser damnation.
5	through proxies like resurrection men, to throw off potential ghoul-hunters.
6	after it’s been left to decompose for a while.

D6	This ghoul
1	won’t eat a child, at least not fully. If it’s been too long since they’ve last eaten they might not be able to stop from gnawing off some little fingers.
2	wears a brass locket inscribed with prayers, a relic of their living days.
3	can be bribed with alcohol, which takes the edge off their hunger.
4	has become the servant of a necromancer, who will investigate and avenge their demise.
5	has a jangling belly full of swallowed valuables.
6	is an elder among their ageless kind, and remembers many secrets.

D100+ Factious Faction Names

For when you're feeling baroquely overwrought.

Generator automator here: http://paperelemental.blogspot.com/p/list-to-html-generator.html

D6x6 (Fucking Why Do I Feel Compelled To Make This) Podcasts

In case you’re running a really weird Esoteric Enterprises game.

Generator automator here: http://paperelemental.blogspot.com/p/list-to-html-generator.html