This is likely the first, and less likely the last, in a series of monster manual reviews/strip-mining operations, because there's ~84 more monsters I need to reach 100 in the Hoard of a Hundred Horrors and the tree of creativity's gotta be watered with the blood of inspiration.
The Book of Unremitting Horror is uuhhhhh I'm gonna get too bored to do these if I have to do boring stuff like tell you what a book is.
Short fiction. Bleh. Skipping that.
Bleeders
A reference to a "Calapechi Sect of Prague" which doesn't seem to have existed... according to a Google search... how Sam Krissian...
They're ghosts that cut you but it's really cathartic so you can get addicted to cutting yourself chasing the original high. Interesting suggestion of a Delta Greenoid becoming dependent on a bleeder to stay sane and having to hide it from their colleagues. Two goblins.
Blood Corpse
Stupid name. They're zombies that are addicted to drinking blood. They come from someone dying in the throes of a strong compulsion. I like that they drink blood through their fingers, that's neat. One and a half goblins.
Blossomers
Kind of more of a ritual than a monster - a way for demon-cults to make evil children with an evil cannibal orgy. Identifying cannibal cultists from dental records cross-reference with their meals... good visceral investigation idea. The evil children are pretty boring, could've used more interesting details. Three goblins.
Clooties
Had a beer called Clootie Dumpling once... it was good. These monsters are not as good. They're like, uh, water fairies that have hooks for hands that go into coastal Scottish villages at night just to bum around, and they can carve up your soul, but they don't attack anyone unless they're looked at. I feel like this one would be better if it was fake, like if there was a murderer dressing up like a clootie and using people's superstitious aversion to avoid getting caught, idk. Bad sign for a monster if it's better fake. Zero goblins.
Death Tapper
'Fug' is the stuffy atmosphere of a poorly ventilated space - I like learning new words. I do not like these bugs, which inject you with a disease that makes you shit yourself to death a few hours later, they are boring. Zero goblins.
Dementia Larvae
Guys that saw something really spooky then mutated into monsters. Gross. They really don't like being reminded of when they were human. Three and a half goblins.
Dream Tearer
Horse-like bites. Shows up in the dreams of people with interesting minds, kills them. Only way to fight them is if you know a ritual to make it manifest. One goblin.
Drowners
Water spirits that hypnotize people then drown them. Two goblins.
The Empty One
Baby-faced god of serial killers. Doesn't exist yet, has no stats. Zero goblins.
Feral Drowners
You can't have drowners and feral drowners in the same book... unbelievable. They're stinky rape goats who drown people. They're also supernaturally scary and get stronger when they scare people. I do not spend much time around goats, but I have crossed paths with them, and they never struck me as particularly horny creatures. Half a goblin.
Kooks
Melon heads, mountain childers - I like this archetype of monster, nasty child-things that can turn children into more of them. Four goblins.
The Man in the Bar
He's a guy that shows up in bars and makes sad people cry themselves to death. One goblin.
Motherlodes
Monsters that eat whatever and then give birth to hybrids of what they've eaten, which are usually stillborn. Not much more to them than that. Three goblins and a ghoul.
The Mystery Man
He's an evil god who wants to scare people. I respect just having 'evil god you can't do anything about' as a monster. Two goblins.
Organ Grinders
Murder-cyborgs that like dismembering people. Created by failed or flawed summoning rituals. They are lazy, and lubricated by blood. They are hard to kill and upgrade themselves if they are defeated. Three goblins.
Outsiders
They're shadow people and men in black. Can't have shit in Eiriel. They make people more emotional and are followed by Forteana. Two goblins.
Ovvashis
Demons that prey on homeless people and smoke their souls in a little bone pipe. They've got magic bags that can produce whatever their victims want. Two and a half ghouls.
The Practice
They're cenobites from Hellraiser but with surgery instead of sadomasochism. That's actually pretty scary. Four goblins.
Residue Daemons
Demon born from the trauma of particularly bad murders. It has a psychic attack that also grants clues about its origin and nature, that's neat. Two goblins.
Scourgers
Shapeshifting spy-demons with itchiness venom. One and a half goblins.
Shatterers
Another monster from failed or flawed summoning rituals. Can turn invisible and bust through magic. Half a goblin.
Sisterites
Computer succubi. One and a half ghouls.
Skitches
Parasites that infest you like a tapeworm then burst out of you. Half a goblin.
Sleep Hags
Eh. One goblin.
Snuff Golems
Born from a snuff film, goes on to make its own snuff films. Can make little copies of itself. Weak to water haha. Two goblins and half a ghoul.
Soliloquys
Start off as little guys, but snack on your bits until they grow into a doppelganger, then ruin your life so they can eat your heart. Neat. Two goblins and a ghoul.
Strap Throat
A banshee. Wisconsin mentioned. I appreciate the specificity. Lotta S monsters. Two and a half goblins.
Torture Dogs
Have a poison that links their victim's mind with theirs. Not much else to them. One and a half goblins.
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