Thursday, December 27, 2018

D20 Random Sex (Not Safe For Most Work)

This one goes out to apocalypse world

No need to thank me, I'm the everyday kind of hero

D20 - About the sex -
1. Wrong hole! Take 1d4 damage
2. Nobody came
3. Theyre a mimic
4. The bed is a mimic and it eats their legs first
5. Its a scam and now they’re trying to sell you on their cult
6. Save vs catch very bad STD, rots your bits off 1d4 days later
7. Mediocre
8. Angel appears blaring trumpet to prophesy conception of immaculate child halfway through, refuses to leave or join
9. They won’t stop sending uncomfortable graphic letters after
10. They make hurtful comments about your body
11. Wake up with forgotten toy studded with small precious gems
12. Wake up with map scribbled on stomach in unmentionable fluids
13. Sting operation, they thought you were illegal prostitute, right chuffed about it
14. They bit deep enough to leave a scar but the teeth aren’t human
15. Youre in their body and they’re in yours now
16. Embarrassing performance, unflattering rumours spread
17. Stole your orgone with forbidden positions, you count as undead until you get it back
19. Extramarital one-night stand with powerful figure, will pay you off in money or favours to keep word from getting out.
20. Wake up somewhere you didn’t fall asleep (1d6): 1, the roof; 2, the road; 3, the king’s royal menagerie; 4, the moon (far side); 5, deep in cave (non-yonic); 6, your childhood bed.
21. Very good, refreshing

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