Friday, December 21, 2018

D20x5 Illustrious Intelligent Swords

Howdy there pardners, hows about you meander on down to this here link and make an automated generator of your own:

D20This Sword Is...
1A rusty old thing with the blade snapped off a little ways down from its tip. No matter how it looks, it’s just as deadly as any magical weapon of its caliber.
2A notched, stained cleaver as big as a man is tall. With the sword’s blessing, its wielder will find it just light enough to bear in battle.
3A bronze gladius. Moaning, weeping faces can be glimpsed in its verdigris.
4Crafted from an ox’s jawbone, with shards of glossy white stone rammed in to replace the teeth.
5Made from a stiffened spine. Besides its other abilities, it can also be extended into a bladed whip.
6A scimitar made of many silver crescents welded together.
7Shining with unnameable colours.
8Carved from the desiccated claw of a huge, dead bird.
9An impossibly thin rapier.
10A thing of sharp chitin and bubbling hemolyph.
11Warped through higher dimensions. Only pieces of it are visible from any given angle on this one.
12Hewn from one enormous gemstone.
13Woven from a million strands of fine silk, constantly refined and sharpened by a million invisible spiders.
14A still-living ebony branch, its fronds forming the handguard, shaped over a thousand slow years into a peerless weapon.
15A nanotech super-slime teased, hardened, and bound into sword-form.
16An unassuming sabre that glows like an aurora in use.
17A tongue of flamberge-flame frozen in a flickering moment.
18Molded from clay from the first river baked into keen, unmarrable ceramic.
19Apparently painted onto thin air, though you can hold it like it was any other sword.
20Forged out of countless minuscule blades of fairy-steel.
D20This Sword’s Intelligence...
1Is inversely proportional to its usefulness as a sword. The sharper its blade is, the duller its mind becomes, and vice-versa. Either its wielder or the sword can shift it one step towards vorpal-idiocy or blunt-genius with a successful ego contest. Only one such contest can occur per day.
2Comes from its own spirit, which awakened after a hundred years of abuse and abandonment. This sword can transform itself into a little man with a long, sharp nose and long, sharp hands at will.
3Comes from a bound, damned soul who wishes they were a demon. Will appreciate any wielder who brings them closer to that goal, and offer fell bargains it has no way of holding up its side of.
4Is that of the warrior who willingly allowed themself to be transmuted into it, in order to more purely pursue its craft. Very intense, obsessed with combat as an art form, viciously critical of those it deems hacks.
5Is a committee of all its individual (and individually intelligent) pieces, that decide the sword’s behaviour as a direct democracy. Each piece has its own agenda and personality.
6Is that of the child whose blood it was tempered in. Mopey yet curious.
7Comes from an incomprehensibly complex clockwork device built into its hilt. It is fond of the aesthetics of logic and reason yet doesn’t grasp the substance of them.
8Can only communicate in terms of sword- and combat-based metaphors.
9Is unable to distinguish between the identities of its wielders.
10Will warm to a wielder who uses it for fancy flourishes and elaborate tactics.
11Speaks in monosyllabic words and dislikes nuance.
12Is ruled by animal passions.
13Is distractible and prone to meandering tangents.
14Has a sadistic streak.
15Is capable of temporarily transferring itself to other objects the sword touches.
16Is an incorrigible pervert who thinks of combat in erotic terms.
17Mimics a bit of the personality of each of its wielders, stitching those bits together into a gestalt persona.
18Is deeply religious and takes offense to blasphemy.
19Can only perceive things it’s in contact with.
20Is regal, polite, and moderately detached from reality.
D20This Sword’s Power Is That...
1If a wound it’s inflicted is healed, the one who inflicted that wound is healed by the same amount.
2It can cut even non-solid things. For example, a slice it makes through a pool of water will remain empty as the water waits suspended at the slice’s edges.
3If the sword kills something its intelligence gets a taste of that thing’s memories.
4It can damage ships, buildings, and similarly massive targets as easily as it can human-scale enemies.
5Swinging it produces a gust of force that can knock enemies over even if the actual swing misses.
6It can sunder other magical weapons and steal their powers for itself. Stolen powers last 1d4 days (exploding).
7Its wielder cannot die unless they lose their hold on it (or the hand holding it is severed from their body).
8Wounds it deals become worse the further the wounded gets from the wielder until they’re healed.
9Blood bleeding from wounds it inflicts ignites on contact with air.
10If it’s blocked by armour or a shield, that thing becomes significantly heavier and more brittle.
11It can be used to parry any attack, no matter how improbable.
12It inflicts mental trauma in the same moment that it deals physical wounds.
13It will always deal a modicum of damage, even if it misses, even if its target is immune to everything else.
14Its wielder can delay the effect of wounds it deals, and make those wounds more severe by delaying them.
15It can be called to its wielder’s hand from anywhere, in dreams, in the underworld, etc. It can only be permanently taken with the sword’s consent.
16When brandished, anyone witnessing it will recognize its wielder as one worth parleying with before fighting, even if they wouldn’t normally have the smarts for it.
17It can deal any type of damage its wielder can imagine. Burning, freezing, electrifying, etc.
18Its cuts are addictive. The more an enemy receives, the less likely they are to want to avoid them.
19Magical defenses, countermeasures, and healing are powerless against it.
20It can manifest phantasmal projections that copy its movements.
D20This Sword Desires...
1To push its wielders (and itself) to the heights of fame (or infamy) in the history books.
2To destroy its storied enemy, also an intelligent sword.
3To collect the heads of worthy opponents who will be bound to serve it in the world to come.
4To be polished with the most luxurious oils by servants with the softest hands.
5To commission the creation of a new sword that will surpass even itself.
6To carve out a homeland for causeless warriors.
7A body without a will of its own that it can control without resistance.
8To taste the blood of every sort of creature to walk, crawl, soar, above, on, beneath the earth.
9To cut great sculpture, great cooking, or something similar.
10A new adventure with every day.
11To spark the war it was made to fight in once more.
12To learn martial techniques hidden by masters.
13To found a school of swordfighting.
14To gain acclaim as a philosopher of war.
15To mold its wielder Into a proper disciple.
16To avenge its endless list of petty grudges against the descendants of those who offended it.
17To study death in all its variations.
18To collect a community of intelligent objects.
19A scabbard made from an emperor’s skin.
20To wound something that has never before been wounded.
D20This Sword Is Currently...
1Being used as a backscratcher by a giant too stubbornly dim to be dominated by the sword.
2Part of a museum exhibit.
3Clutched in the hands of a dead adventurer’s skeleton.
4Impaled in a dragon’s back. The wound is quite infected.
5Held by an ambitious, talented, yet currently minor warlord.
6Being hunted down by its original wielder, now a half-dead abomination.
7On sale at an esoteric auction.
8Being held by a malfunctioning angel waiting to bestow it on someone who is “worthy” by bizarre metrics.
9Being studied by a sorcerer-smith who hopes to break it down into pieces that could be made into a series of mass-produced magic swords.
10The top prize of a violent, pan-tribe contest out in the wilds.
11Being fraudulently passed off as the magnum opus of a dwarf-smith, to great acclaim.
12Stuck in the middle of an eternal battlefield.
13The only thing pinning an immortal monster in place.
14The centrepiece of a ritual meant to tear a hole in the fabric of reality.
15Guarded by a secret knightly society seeking a worthy heir for it.
16Part of the ransom being paid out for the safe return of a godling-king from captivity.
17The heirloom of a noble house, pretending to be possessed by that house’s patriarch.
18Dominating the leader of a peasant rebellion, turning their righteous anger to its own ends.
19Being used as a replacement tooth by a titanic vampire.
20Languishing at the bottom of some dungeon. Some party has worked very hard to ensure it’s forgotten by history.

1 comment:

  1. Next time I make a list I need to go with this style. This is hella fun my dude.