Wednesday, December 19, 2018

D20x5 (Maybe Not So) Genial Genies

I have never seen Aladdin.



D20 This genie grants wishes that involve...
1 The return of loved ones. From death, from long journeys, whatever. For the right bribe they don’t even have to be your loved ones.
2 Various sorts of invincibility, always with a fatal flaw.
3 Instantaneous transportation across the known world.
4 The overnight construction of grand palaces, fortifications, and temples.
5 The granting of youth, beauty, and charm.
6 The acquisition or obfuscation of knowledge.
7 Victory in love and war.
8 Blessings of family and estates.
9 Magical talents.
10 The granting of wealth in prodigious proportions.
11 Bringing fertility to barren lands and people.
12 The violation of taboos.
13 Transformation to pass beyond paltry humanity.
14 The humiliation of one’s enemies.
15 The forging of objects of great power.
16 The manipulation of time and its perception. The genie will attempt to get away with only changing perceptions if it can.
17 Criminal conspiracy.
18 Gaining a position of authority over others.
19 The healing of wounds and sickness, and the general perpetuation of life.
20 Addressing regrets.
D20 This genie is bound to...
1 An opal-studded hookah. The genie drifts out the pipes in columns of multi-hued smoke.
2 An ornate ivory dagger. The genie forms its body from the blood the dagger spills.
3 The throat of an unhinged beggar. When called on, the genie will unhinge their host’s jaw and step out clothed in phlegm and bile.
4 A sand-caked ostrich’s egg. Its voice whispers from within through cracks in the shell.
5 A cask of fine liquor. The genie is perpetually sloshed.
6 A lantern. They’re projected out its face like a hologram.
7 A mirror, appearing in place of a person’s reflection.
8 A key that fits in any door. A door opened with it will open into the genie’s sanctum.
9 A dreamcatcher. Sleeping under it will let the sleeper parley with the genie in their dreams.
10 A sheep skull wearing a roughly-beaten copper crown.
11 A wide brass dish with a seal embossed on the bottom. If food is placed on the dish the genie will appear only so long as it takes them to finish that meal.
12 A musty scroll, appearing in its illustrations and rewriting its words.
13 A pair of scratched spectacles. Whoever wears them can see and interact with the genie.
14 The keystone of a vaulting archway.
15 A neverending, supernaturally tough spool of thread. The genie’s power can’t affect anything outside of boundaries marked by this thread. Thread separated from the spool still counts for this purpose.
16 A glass jar, with the genie appearing at minuscule size within.
17 A chessboard. If the genie can beat you at a game, you have to take their place.
18 An antique tea set. Calling the genie out requires at least two people, and the more people who participate the greater the wishes the genie can grant. Those participating share tea and compete to see who can request the most entertaining wish. Only the winner gets their wish granted.
19 An iron manacle, which must be worn by the wishmaker. Each wish made tightens the manacle.
20 A jewelled piercing stuck in the face of someone who doesn’t realize it’s got a genie in it.
D20 This genie’s wishes...
1 Are always twisted to the regret of the wishmaker.
2 Loosen its bindings with each one made.
3 Are all ultimately illusory.
4 Are fueled by the life of the one who makes them.
5 Result in an equivalent loss somewhere in the world. Those who suffer the loss see the one who made the wish in their nightmares.
6 Slowly fade away like sand running out of an hourglass.
7 Drain a piece of their essence, and they’re especially loath to grant wishes without an equivalent offering.
8 Can be immediately undone by anyone else who consults the genie.
9 Can only be granted to children.
10 Create a fragile split between the timeline wherein the wish was granted, and the timeline wherein it was not. Various events risk shattering this split.
11 Are tied to a token. Damage to the token weakens the reality of the wish.
12 Offend the gods, who will forever after deny the wishmaker succour, and reject their presence on sacred ground.
13 Attract the attention of rival genies who will seek to undo their work.
14 Obligate the wishmaker to grant one of the genie’s wishes in turn.
15 Will be revoked should the wishmaker ever let anyone else find out about the genie.
16 Drain ambient energy to fuel themselves. A little wish might cool a room, a big one might silence a nation.
17 Can’t affect wolves or withstand their presence.
18 Are inverted at night, only returning to normal at dawn.
19 Can only be granted once to any single person.
20 Need an extended period of time to build up to their full impact.
D20 This genie looks...
1 Like a baby with wrinkled, ancient eyes.
2 Like a cloud of steam that drifts into the shape of vague, grinning faces.
3 Like a hunched, veiled, and cloaked figure.
4 Like a crimson-clad dervish whirling too fast to make out any clear features.
5 Like a muscular, bare-chested man wearing a beast’s face as a mask.
6 Like you, but subtly exaggerated or enhanced in ways to make you feel insecure about your own appearance.
7 Like a cow with swollen udders and a mane of smokeless fire.
8 Like a giant, colourful slug with a human face.
9 Like a person, or a person-sized doll, woven from rich silks.
10 Grossly fat or emaciated, changing moment-to-moment between the two like they’re walking past funhouse mirrors.
11 Like a dust devil with whorls that resolve into many muttering mouths.
12 Like an anthropomorphic pig riding a piebald dog. Despite appearances, both are parts of the same being.
13 Like a nude and sexless figure with the head of a housecat.
14 Like a leper whose sores weep rosewater.
15 Like an owl with orchid petals in the place of feathers.
16 Like a shed snakeskin waving in a perfumed breeze.
17 Like a knight clad in armour of dried mud.
18 Like an indistinct crowd of shadows.
19 Like scorpion the size of a destrier that walks and speaks like a human.
20 Like a woman with the teeth, eyes, and feet of a donkey.
D20 This genie acts...
1 As if they’re the straight man in a universal comedy.
2 Like a sycophantic yes-man.
3 Like an imperious noble.
4 Like a humble saint.
5 As if inconsequential things set off their temper.
6 As if they’re bored by everything.
7 Like a simpleton, though they’re as clever as any of their kind.
8 The opposite of how they’re really feeling.
9 With tremendous, boisterous enthusiasm for every endeavour.
10 Without a care in the world.
11 Capricious and cruel.
12 To impersonate a god.
13 Like a hidebound bureaucrat. Any wishes they grant will require filling out a long standardized form.
14 As a helpful advisor, though all their advice subtly furthers their own ends.
15 Exactly as you’d expect someone who’s been trapped alone for possibly hundreds of years would act.
16 With insecurity and a need to prove their own power.
17 Dishonestly, even when the truth would suit them better.
18 As though they know far more than they actually do.
19 Agoraphobically and shyly.
20 To serve the whole of humanity to the best of its well-intentioned but often lacking ability.

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