Tuesday, October 6, 2020

D10 Culinary Curios; or: Magic Items You Might Find In A Wizard’s Kitchen (Brought to you by GLOGtober Day 6)

1. Eye-Scooping Spoon: A tarnished silver spoon with serrated edges. On the end of its handle is a moaning face with empty eye sockets. If used to scoop out and eat an eyeball, the eater gains any special properties of that eye and its vision for one ten-minute turn.

2. Fortuning Fork: A tin fork with a spiraling handle and tines that change in number every time you look at it. The fork is able to predict the near-future impact of eating with it, and so can predict things like poison, mutation, nourishment, under-salting, and so on. Good futures cause it to gently rumble. Bad futures cause it to twist and shake in proportion to how bad of an outcome taking a bite will likely result in.

3. No Mess Napkin: A white silk napkin embroidered with a slithering glyph in gold thread. Wiping the napkin over any stains, dirt, fingerprints, and the like instantly removes them without a trace.

4. Jug of Immediate Fermentation: A clay jug painted with carousing fauns in green dresses. Anything with sufficient carbohydrate content placed in the jar immediately starts to ferment. After one round it becomes as alcoholic as beer. After two it becomes as alcoholic as wine. After three it becomes as alcoholic as vodka. After four it becomes as alcoholic as high-proof Everclear.

5. The Platter of Yltish: A broad golden platter. Its rim is molded with unsettling realism to depict entwined tapeworm-like beings with human eyes and teeth. If someone eats from the platter they become infected with demonic parasites. They gain the following traits until purged by seven days of consuming nothing but pure water and practicing austerities:
-Gain a bite attack that deals 1d6 damage and suffers no penalties for being used in a grapple
-Can only consume living flesh as rations
-Can rapidly burn through calories for a burst of speed or strength, moving twice as fast for a round or gaining advantage on their next strength check, but immediately progressing to the next stage of hunger
-If they fail a morale test or save vs. fear, they enter a ravenous frenzy and attempt to eat the nearest living thing
-Tiny worms can be seen in their blood, stool, and gums

6. The Brothcook's Spoon: A long wooden spoon. Its handle is carved with prayers to little gods of the hearth. After a round of stirring the spoon can bring a pot of water to a boil. Larger amounts of water take a proportionately longer time spent stirring to heat up. The spoon provides no special protection from heat to its user.

7. Salt of Hospitality: A pouch of salt that glows warmly from within. Sprinkling the salt on a meal binds all who share it to the laws of hospitality. They must not harm each other, must be courteous, and must reciprocate gifts and favours in kind. The first to break a law ends the binding, and is stunned for 1d6 rounds, also taking 1 point of damage for every round they've been stunned, vomiting as the salt purges the fluids and nutrients from their body. A pouch of salt of hospitality found randomly contains 1d6 doses.

8. Pot of Plentiful Stew: A cast iron pot embossed with interlocking "gyfu", "calc", and "os" runes. So long as the pot is full of water that is at least lightly simmering, the pot acts as a bag of holding. Despite its great internal volume, the pot does not take any more fuel to warm than a normal pot. Should the pot be allowed to cool all its extraspatial contents will be explosively ejected from it.

9. The Smooth As Butter Knife: A butter-knife with a void-black blade and a handle carved from glossy horn. It can cut through any non-magical material as though it were soft as butter. Does one damage on a successful hit.

10. Chalice of Chaotic Conversion: A cracked crystal chalice carved with cackling imps. Running your finger around its rim makes a sound like harsh laughter. Fluid poured into the chalice is randomly converted into one of the following things, though it does not change in appearance unless otherwise noted (1d20):
1. Poison
2. Healing potion
3. Swarm of angry wasps
4. Oil
5. Nitroglycerin
6. Holy water
7. Unholy water
8. Wine
9. Bear pheromones
10. Acid
11. Sovereign glue
12. Sea water
13. Urine
Green slime
15. Pork bone broth
16. Illusory fluid which has no corporeal substance
17. Knockout juice
18. Blood
19. Potion of invisibility
20. Barbecue sauce

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