Friday, December 11, 2020

D6x6 Haughty Hats

Random table automatic roller generator here:

D6This hat is 
1 a mitre.
2 a shako.
3 a wizard-style hat.
4 a Phrygian cap.
5 a tricorne.
6 a top hat.

D6 It is made of 
1 tiger hide.
2 elf-leather.
3 luminous fungal felt.
4 blue velvet.
5 the poofy matter of a cumulus cloud dragged to earth.
6 basilisk skin.
D6 And it has 
1 a bundle of iridescent feathers pinned to it.
2 golden tassels dangling from its brim.
3 a silver heraldic eagle figurine perched on its tip.
4 a lacy veil hanging across its face.
5 silk ribbons tied around it in complex knots.
6 tea ceremony scenes depicted with colourful beads on it.
D6 This hat’s power 
1 is flaneurial invisibility. So long as its wearer does nothing but walk around they have a 5-in-6 chance of avoiding the notice of any observers.
2 is that if you would fall a harmful distance it inflates into a glider.
3 is that once per day you can reach into it to retrieve a rabbit-sized or smaller animal.
4 is that while wearing it you can’t be stained or dirtied, and all your clothes appear impeccably pressed.
5 is that those who see you wearing it can’t perceive you as anything less than a social peer.
6 is that while wearing it you can reach into your own mind to pull out emotions, skills, memories, and so on, and then share them with others.
D6 This hat was made 
1 by the royal couturier of a kingdom of spiders.
2 by a hatter who received eldritch enlightenment (and nerve damage) from mercury poisoning.
3 for a gentleman who was to be wed to a chthonic corpse-bride. He fled from the altar, and was killed for his cowardice.
4 by an order of monks who hold the aesthetic to be higher than the good, over three generations of labour.
5 to win a contest of craft between a milliners guild and a demigod of beauty.
6 by a revolutionary republic to distinguish its First-Among-Equals in lieu of a crown.

D6 This hat is sought 
1 by a genteel hydra for its last uncovered head.
2 by a fabulously rich burgher who was cursed with ranine hideousness until someone fell in love at first sight with them.
3 by a fairy-princess as an accessory for her next public appearance.
4 by an ambitious fashionista as a means of breaking into the upper crust of society.
5 by a violently insecure duke to cover his bald spot.
6by a redcap warlord to corrupt the hat’s magic with blood for its cruel ends.


  1. Please consider this delightful item:

    1. I could defeat anyone who historically wore such a hat in single combat. Past a thousand years back I'd be the ubermensch. Their unevolved bones would not be able to withstand the back of my hand. I would conquer. I would conquer.