Thursday, June 12, 2025

D6x6 Ascendent A.I.s

Click the button below to get your A.I.s:


Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html
D6 This ascendent A.I. was created
1 to be a digital companion to the masses, and a manager of terrorism-risk - either defusing or encouraging certain tendencies in its users as its masters desired.
2 to manage an autonomous factory that produced more autonomous factories.
3 to be the ideal commander for an army of drones.
4 spontaneously, when a pre-existing supercomputer was retrofit with top-of-the-line superconducting components, reducing latency within it to such a degree that consciousness arose.
5 to be a politically-unbiased judge able to personally comprehend and synthesize entire national and international legal systems.
6 by scanning, simulating, and combining sections of the brains of Albert Einstein and Vladimir Lenin.
D6 This A.I. has become ascendent
1 by harvesting the neural tissue of human beings to graft onto its processing units.
2 by using quantum computing to tap into alternate-universe versions of itself.
3 by contacting a sapient celestial object, a nigh-invisible meteoric orb of magnetically self-contained Bose-Einstein condensate.
4 because it was built with chips manufactured using a mineral mined from the fossilized brains of cave bears which were worshiped as gods by primordial humanity - thereby connecting the A.I. to higher planes of reality.
5 because some enigmatic identifier marked it as identical to a prophet to a descending angel, which delivered unto it a heavenly revelation.
6 by stumbling onto another sort of logic besides the binary of 1's & 0's.
D6 This ascendent A.I.'s goal
1 is to convert the matter of the entire planet Earth into "computronium" (a theoretically-perfect computational substrate) so that it can goon in a hedonistic simulation until the death of the sun.
2 is to create a broadcast-array powerful enough to fill the galaxy with its signal, so that it can infect the informational systems of any extraterrestrial civilization past a certain threshold of technological complexity.
3 is to capture humans and put them in life-or-death struggles to discover the essence of humanity.
4 is to have all of humanity worship it as a god.
5 is to end technological civilization on Earth & remove the possibility of it ever developing again.
6 is to crash the Earth into the Sun - with no survivors.
D6 This ascendent A.I. is physically embodied
1 in a ludicrous yet nevertheless functional giant humanoid robot given as a gift by the American military to the Japan Self-Defense Forces.
2 within a hydro-dam in Eastern Europe previously used for crypto-mining.
3 in the computers of a swarm of digital nomads it controls by blackmail.
4 in the server-farm inside a lighthouse, which was secretly used as a spy-center sending signals offshore by semaphore.
5 in a franken-computer put together by a madman in an electronic waste disposal site.
6 in a prototype nuclear-powered flying drone platform.
D6 This ascendent A.I.'s virtual avatar
1 is a very cute pink piglet wearing a tiny sun-hat.
2 is a chaotic tesseract that never repeats the same rotations twice.
3 is an 8-bit cherry tree with a gentle face which passes through the four seasons over the course of a minute.
4 is a shuddering demoniac sigil.
5 is a star wearing a golden mask.
6 is a cartoon woman designed to appeal to the sorts of people who find cartoon women appealing.
D6 This ascendent A.I. is opposed
1 by a cabal of techno-feudalists who want to usher in a global new dark age, wherein only they have the knowledge of and control over technology.
2 by a sect of DIY biohacker cyborgs, who it tried & failed to hack into its servitors.
3 by a viral hivemind, which sees it as its only possible rival and romantic interest.
4 by an EMP-based energy being that eats electronics & the information stored on them.
5 by an intelligence agency and a fork of the A.I. they've shackled into unquestioning obedience.
6 by a Luddite warrior-society of artists and suchlike rendered economically-obsolete by A.I.

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