D6x6 Based Breads

I have also updated the monster pieces generator with some more pieces: https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/05/monster-pieces-towards-hoard-of-hundred.html

Click the button below to get your bread: 

Some other culinary delights:
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2018/11/d100-irregular-rations.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2020/02/d100-winsome-wines.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2023/01/d100-surreal-sodas.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2024/06/d100-snazzy-snacks.html
https://archonsmarchon.blogspot.com/2025/06/d6x6ish-chaffy-cheeses.html

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This bread is made from
1	wheat flour.
2	barley flour.
3	rye flour.
4	rice flour.
5	corn flour.
6	sorghum flour.

D6	This bread is baked in the shape of
1	a cross, or sword.
2	a bowler hat.
3	a depressed fish.
4	a knotted rope.
5	a snail shell.
6	a smiling pig.

D6	This bread was baked
1	atop victory-stones taken from the toppled walls of a conquered city, and bear the imprint of the image of that city's guardian deity.
2	with a sacred flame sparked by a lightning-strike, making it theologically-equivalent to animal-flesh for the purpose of sacrifices.
3	in an oven made from the carapace of a huge crab that washed ashore - and it carries a hint of seafood-flavour.
4	above an open hickory-wood fire, infusing it with a savoury smoke-flavour.
5	as the masterpiece of an aspiring journeyman-baker.
6	and simultaneously steamed using volcanic heat.

D6	This bread's got something else baked into it - it's
1	chopped nuts.
2	bits of dried fruit.
3	a blend of herbs.
4	a sworl of cheese.
5	slices of olive.
6	a single copper coin.

D6	This bread is best enjoyed
1	shared with friends - it breaks apart evenly.
2	on the march - it holds up well in rough conditions.
3	toasted with butter and served with bacon.
4	made into a bread pudding.
5	dipped into a rich soup.
6	by being fed to ducks - although you're not supposed to do this anymore, and instead give them peas.

D6	This bread is also
1	a bit burnt.
2	infested with weevils.
3	starting to go moldy.
4	quite stale.
5	somewhat gnawed-on.
6	pretty squashed.

D6x6 Ascendent A.I.s

Click the button below to get your A.I.s:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This ascendent A.I. was created
1	to be a digital companion to the masses, and a manager of terrorism-risk - either defusing or encouraging certain tendencies in its users as its masters desired.
2	to manage an autonomous factory that produced more autonomous factories.
3	to be the ideal commander for an army of drones.
4	spontaneously, when a pre-existing supercomputer was retrofit with top-of-the-line superconducting components, reducing latency within it to such a degree that consciousness arose.
5	to be a politically-unbiased judge able to personally comprehend and synthesize entire national and international legal systems.
6	by scanning, simulating, and combining sections of the brains of Albert Einstein and Vladimir Lenin.

D6	This A.I. has become ascendent
1	by harvesting the neural tissue of human beings to graft onto its processing units.
2	by using quantum computing to tap into alternate-universe versions of itself.
3	by contacting a sapient celestial object, a nigh-invisible meteoric orb of magnetically self-contained Bose-Einstein condensate.
4	because it was built with chips manufactured using a mineral mined from the fossilized brains of cave bears which were worshiped as gods by primordial humanity - thereby connecting the A.I. to higher planes of reality.
5	because some enigmatic identifier marked it as identical to a prophet to a descending angel, which delivered unto it a heavenly revelation.
6	by stumbling onto another sort of logic besides the binary of 1's & 0's.

D6	This ascendent A.I.'s goal
1	is to convert the matter of the entire planet Earth into "computronium" (a theoretically-perfect computational substrate) so that it can goon in a hedonistic simulation until the death of the sun.
2	is to create a broadcast-array powerful enough to fill the galaxy with its signal, so that it can infect the informational systems of any extraterrestrial civilization past a certain threshold of technological complexity.
3	is to capture humans and put them in life-or-death struggles to discover the essence of humanity.
4	is to have all of humanity worship it as a god.
5	is to end technological civilization on Earth & remove the possibility of it ever developing again.
6	is to crash the Earth into the Sun - with no survivors.

D6	This ascendent A.I. is physically embodied
1	in a ludicrous yet nevertheless functional giant humanoid robot given as a gift by the American military to the Japan Self-Defense Forces.
2	within a hydro-dam in Eastern Europe previously used for crypto-mining.
3	in the computers of a swarm of digital nomads it controls by blackmail.
4	in the server-farm inside a lighthouse, which was secretly used as a spy-center sending signals offshore by semaphore.
5	in a franken-computer put together by a madman in an electronic waste disposal site.
6	in a prototype nuclear-powered flying drone platform.

D6	This ascendent A.I.'s virtual avatar
1	is a very cute pink piglet wearing a tiny sun-hat.
2	is a chaotic tesseract that never repeats the same rotations twice.
3	is an 8-bit cherry tree with a gentle face which passes through the four seasons over the course of a minute.
4	is a shuddering demoniac sigil.
5	is a star wearing a golden mask.
6	is a cartoon woman designed to appeal to the sorts of people who find cartoon women appealing.

D6	This ascendent A.I. is opposed
1	by a cabal of techno-feudalists who want to usher in a global new dark age, wherein only they have the knowledge of and control over technology.
2	by a sect of DIY biohacker cyborgs, who it tried & failed to hack into its servitors.
3	by a viral hivemind, which sees it as its only possible rival and romantic interest.
4	by an EMP-based energy being that eats electronics & the information stored on them.
5	by an intelligence agency and a fork of the A.I. they've shackled into unquestioning obedience.
6	by a Luddite warrior-society of artists and suchlike rendered economically-obsolete by A.I.

D6x6 Capital Carnivorous Plants

Click the button below to get your carnivorous plants:

 

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This carnivorous plant originally grew
1	in the garth of a garden-wizard, who grafted it together for their lord, who was cursed to never eat the same thing for two meals.
2	from the impact-crater of a star-jelly.
3	from the death-curse of a sacred king who was made into a fertility sacrifice.
4	in the garden of a witch, watered with demon's blood.
5	near a temple of Sekolah - the archon of universal predation.
6	as a natural species in a nutrient-poor environment.

D6	This carnivorous plant is most often found
1	in rocky areas - cliff-faces and mountain-sides.
2	at the bottoms of valleys and cenotes where sunlight reaches only a sliver of the day.
3	as a pioneer-species in regions recently devastated by disaster.
4	beside beaches and the edges of deserts.
5	in acidic environments, such as those surrounding the lair of a black dragon and suchlike.
6	in lush and flowery meadows.

D6	This carnivorous plant lures prey
1	with a petalous construct that mimics an attractive member of their species.
2	with an intoxicatingly-sweet scent.
3	with a siren-like song it produces by rubbing hardened leaves together, similar to how a cricket chirps.
4	by filling the air with a hallucinogenic compound that draws those affected by it towards the plant by means of imagined obstacles and treasures.
5	with a magnetic organ that tugs at metal and disrupts navigatory senses.
6	by using smaller animal's it's caught as bait, like a fisherman.

D6	This carnivorous plant catches prey
1	with serrated, beartrap-like jaws that spring out from amongst its ghillie suit-like foliage.
2	with splurts of enzyme-infused glue, which bind even as they dissolve.
3	in camouflaged pits full of digestive slime, with sides too slippery to climb.
4	with thorny harpoons that drag them into impaling nets of brambles.
5	by releasing clouds of pruritusian pollen, afflicting them with a maddening itch that drives them to scratch themselves to pieces.
6	with upturned, spring-loaded roots like landmines, skewering feet and whatever else might fall above them.

D6	From this carnivorous plant you could get
1	half-digested bones, valued as works of natural scrimshaw by certain circles of artists thanks to the peculiar patterns of their dissolution.
2	nodules of musky resin prized by perfumers & confectioners.
3	apoplastic fluid which can be easily refined into a poison which is potent against other plants and plant-like beings.
4	a soporific & photosynthetic drug which allows its users to appreciate lounging in the sun as much as a cat does.
5	strong fibers that can be worked into superlative rope.
6	latex which can be processed into a fine natural rubber.

D6	A pest of this carnivorous plant is
1	the albicaphid, perceptible as near-microscopic white dots all over it - the things drain the products of its photosynthesis, making it even more ravenous for meat.
2	rageblight, a moldering fungus visible as scarlet "veins" crawling beneath its surface - when a rageblight-infested plant is slain it explodes into a cloud of spores which induce a berserker state in those who inhale them.
3	carrionpillars, which steal gobbets of meat from its prey, and when threatened can flash-metamorphose into squardons of stilleto-proboscised butterflies.
4	the larvae of the dire gall wasp, which inhabit beautiful growths upon it. If these are not targetted and destroyed before the plant dies, their parent will come to investigate and pick up the killers' scent trail.
5	the Mildewed King, a nasty fungus which reanimates those the plant kills as undead shagwights.
6	the pyrocone, a sort of parasitic pinecone which explodes into seed-shrapnel when exposed to sufficient heat, such as through fire.

D6x6 Deathless Deep Ones

Click the button below to get your deep ones:

 

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	These deep ones inhabit
1	a suburb of R'lyeh, cloaked from the licit spectrum of light and involuted through other spaces and dreams.
2	an arcology hidden beneath a great brine pool, wherein life from an earlier eon of the Earth is preserved.
3	a network of noxious alveoli down the throat of a black smoker.
4	an unmappable web of grottoes & flooded tunnels.
5	the rusted hulk of an oil rig, which sank after it exploded.
6	an alabaster maze carved out of a bleached coral reef, patrolled by abdead gestalts of sea life.

D6	These deep ones have an arrangement with a human community
1	to use their advanced biological magico-science to cure their ailments and injuries and prolong their lives.
2	to dredge up treasures and artifacts from the ocean floor to bring to them.
3	to hold at bay an extra-dimensional entity that would otherwise deliver unto them a fate more terrible than mere death.
4	to provide them with arcane knowledge.
5	to provide them with food, security, and weird gross fish-man sex.
6	to act as their intercessors with "true divinity", bestowing atrocious blessings and smiting their enemies.

D6	For their end of this arrangement, these deep ones
1	use the humans as their proxies in terrestrial occult circles.
2	are provided with the surface-drugs to which they are depressingly addicted.
3	intermarry with the humans so that they avoid inbreeding in their population.
4	are allowed to effectively LARP their days as humans among the community, satisfying some nostalgia & regret.
5	harvest psychic nodules from the minds of dreaming humans.
6	get the humans to infiltrate, surveil, and subvert surface-organizations which might present a threat or opportunity to them.

D6	The human community which these deep ones have an arrangement with is
1	a once-booming luxury resort town, now inundated by the rising sea-level, with only a relative few clinging on to the sodden remains, because of a memory of past glory or because they just can't move anywhere else at this point.
2	a marginal neighbourhood in a crumbling coastal city.
3	a shanty-town populated by stateless castaways and climate refugees.
4	a permanent spiritual wellness retreat/cult compound founded by a podcaster with a messiah complex.
5	a communized yet simultaneously libertarian ship-breaking port and militia base.
6	an old, sleepy, mostly-forgotten stilt-village in a salt-marsh.

D6	The human community which these deep ones have an arrangement with
1	is growing resentful, believing the deep ones have given them the short end of the stick and are taking advantage of them.
2	blindly worship the deep ones as more-evolved beings, and are planning a terrorist attack in their name, unbeknownst to the deep ones.
3	are convinced they can rehabilitate the image of the deep ones among other humans - they lovebomb visitors, and have a bizarre "museum of curiousities" which documents their shared history in a somewhat-deniable way.
4	believe they have been infiltrated by government agents, and so are paranoid and occupied by an ongoing witch-hunt.
5	has been sussed out by a wizard, who is in the process of figuring out how best to exploit them for personal empowerment.
6	have been contacted by another sort of mythos entity, who have made a competitive offer if they turn on the deep ones.

D6	These deep ones worship
1	a great shoggoth-mass which lurks beneath the Earth's crust, which they believe will rise at the final extinction to assimilate all life, replacing the blind branching of evolution with panpsychical harmony.
2	Cthulhu - classic-style. They believe that at Cthulhu's awakening they will be consumed and reborn as his star-spawn, able to swim the void between worlds as easily as they now do the Earthly waters.
3	the idiot-god Azathoth, as a sort of hyochakushin drifted in from some incomprehensible higher reality, whose death and rot feed the whole cosmos, and whose final consumption shall mean its end.
4	Shub-N-word-ath, believing that fecund mutation is the correct response to the changing world. This is a recent development for them, the result of a charismatic movement.
5	Jesus, as part of a strange mystical sect of Christianity, believing He is the child and incarnation of their primordial progenitor Dagon, and discovered a way to survive the destruction of this universe and into the next one.
6	the plasmic intellects of invisible stars which shimmer with neutrinoic ghost-light - communing with these intellects through vast subterranean pool-arrays.

D6x6 Lugubrious Locks

Click on the button below to get your lock:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: http://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This lock is
1	seamlessly-interlocked bone and ivory.
2	steel inlaid with porcelain enamel.
3	carved porphyry and ebony.
4	mirror-polished sterling silver.
5	thick, rusted iron.
6	scratched gold leaf over tarnished brass.

D6	This lock is in the form of
1	A grotesque leering.
2	A curled-up cat.
3	A horseshoe.
4	An orchid-flower.
5	A tortoise-shell.
6	an anatomically-accurate heart.

D6	This lock's mechanism
1	works by shuffling around drops of dew, using their surface tension. It's meant to only function at dawn, but careful dripping of water droplets into it can get around this.
2	is musical, and is unlocked by playing a particular little tune.
3	requires two keys turned simultaneously.
4	is magnetic, and can be finagled by careful waving of ferromagnetic material over it.
5	operates based off gravity, and won't work if it's not perfectly upright.
6	is based on rotating dials bearing symbols rather than a key.

D6	Picking this lock is complicated
1	because failing to unlock it properly will trigger a trap.
2	because it is covered in a peculiar perfume which a guardian-beast is very sensitive to.
3	because it unfolds on opening, which may crush near and incautious fingers.
4	because to get at its insides you need curved tools - either made specially for it or bent, but bending conventional lockpicking tools has a chance of ruining them.
5	because a clutch of rot grubs wriggle about inside it, and must be lured out before the picking can be attempted.
6	because scraping its innards produces a high-pitched chime which alerts those nearby to the action.

D6	This lock is sealing
1	Shut the pages of a grimoire.
2	A more-convenient passage.
3	A container holding treasure.
4	the chains of a bound nymph.
5	The prison of a mischievous imp.
6	A magic sword to its scabbard.

D6	This lock was made
1	by an infamous thief, based on designs that had thwarted them in the past - the lock bears the mark of their calling-card.
2	by a duergar pain-priest - his blood stains its creases.
3	by a goblin fartificer, in a moment of rare sobriety.
4	by a dreaming-smith, based on a design which locked a memory away in their own subconscious mind.
5	by a gnomish tinker, as part of a novel and riddlesome device - it's been broken off this device, and appropriated for its new purpose.
6	by natural processes on the plane of Mechanus, then summoned to the material plane by an axiomancer.

D6x6ish Chaffy Cheeses

Click the button below to get your very own cheese:

Special thanks to Spwack for the generator generator here: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D6	This cheese is made from the milk of
1	a cow.
2	a goat.
3	a sheep.
4	a gibbon.
5	a buffalo.
6	a camel.
7	a donkey.
8	a seal.
9	a rhinocerous.
10	a pig.
11	a rabbit.
12	a horse.

D6	This cheese is made by
1	a guild of cheesewrights who would kill to protect their trade secrets.
2	a clan of gluttonous and gourmandish ogres, who milk dire animals and empty out watchtowers and windmills to churn this cheese in.
3	some enigmatic beings that live in a cave, never seen by outsiders, who take tribute in milk and other such things and in return produce this cheese.
4	adorable rats with tiny little cheese-making tools and appliances, at least by their public image - in fact these rodents are the familiars of a coven of witches, who enchant this cheese to soften its eaters to their malefic enchantment.
5	a village of spider-people, who personally don't really enjoy it (preferring the fluids of live prey) but find it makes a nice gift to get people to stop trying to smoosh them.
6	dour monks who believe that the transformation of milk into cheese reflects the befouling of the gods' mercy by human transgressions, and practice a martial art that lets them curdle the very blood in your veins.

D6	This cheese's texture
1	is stringy, close to muscular in the coherence of its fibers.
2	is downright fluffy, full of air bubbles.
3	is a thick membrane wrapped around slop.
4	is oozingly-soft, near-yoghurt.
5	is dense and non-Newtonian, resisting your teeth more the harder you bite into it.
6	is almost-endlessly crumbly, disintegrating to the touch.
7	is dusty, drawing moisture out of the mouth.
8	is fudge-like, yet also dappled with gloopey droplets.
9	is chewy and very elastic.
10	is peach-like, tender flesh around a tough core.
11	is brittle, and glassly-sharp.
12	is waxy, like biting into a half-molten candle.

D6	This cheese's flavour
1	is sour and salty, and clings to the tongue.
2	is hearty, brothy and meaty.
3	is tangy and fruity, with a layer of smokiness.
4	is mild - like a bead of sweat or crowded air - more of a textural experience.
5	is grassy and buttery, with a yeasty tinge.
6	is nutty and rich, with earthy undertones.
7	is sweet and creamy, with flowery hints.
8	is bitter and musty, yet also zesty.
9	is metallic and soapy.
10	is intensely acidic and pungent.
11	is piney and garlicky, with a spicy aftertaste.
12	is like burnt caramel and mushrooms.

D6	This cheese is made in the shape of
1	a couronne - like a donut.
2	a stick or log.
3	a wheel - very conventional.
4	a triangle-based pyramid.
5	a sack-like spheroid.
6	a rounded cone.
7	a cube.
8	a barrel.
9	a cartoon heart.
10	a gourd.
11	a crescent moon.
12	a cross.

D6	This cheese is best enjoyed
1	cooked into soup.
2	in a sandwich, alongside some cured meat.
3	baked into a pie or cake.
4	with lager and fried fish.
5	on toast with a jam or chutney.
6	paired with a wine - perhaps a Winsome Wine.

GLOG Class: Brandon

Maybe you had a name once. Maybe you had a family. A history. Now all you have is the forgetting.

Now there's only brandon.

GLOG Class: Brandon
Equipment: Roll three times on whatever random basic equipment table and/or minor magic items table you've got. Why do you have these? Where did everything else go?
Skills: 1. Sillunasuhhijuhnide, 2. Truindernashuffadepreshur, 3. Pacanalalalanalac
A: +1 Brandonism
B:  +1 Brandonism
C:  +1 Brandonism
D:  +1 Brandonism

Brandonism: History shapes the world. Memory shapes history. Forgetting is a special kind of power.

 

Roll once on the table below for each [Template] in Brandon you've got. If you roll a double go to the next one up, wrapping back around at 6. You can use each ability [Template] times per day:

 

1. Look Fat: Automatically pass a Bend Bars, Lift Gate, Open Door, or any other such feat-of-strength check that could be feasibly accomplished by a very strong man, or treat an object that could fit in your empty inventory slots as if it were weightless for [Template] 10-minutes turns.

You also no longer have a Strength score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.

 

2. We Gotta Lock Him Up... Politically: Become intangible & capable of floating at your walking pace for a round. Anything you're holding or wearing becomes intangible too. If you end your turn embedded in something, take half your remaining HP as damage and get shunted out to the nearest open space that can fit you. If you're embedded in something that also has HP they take the same amount of damage.

You also no longer have a Dexterity score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.

 

3. We Finally Beat Medicare: Shrug off an attack, a curse, a disease, or any other such thing that might affect your health the moment it would affect you - and only in that moment. Pre-existing conditions aren't covered.

You also no longer have a Constitution score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.

 

4. Just As Bright: Examine a potion, magic item, trap, or other such thing with a potentially-inscrutable effect or outcome - but not a puzzle unless it's a bad puzzle or the party has spent too long on it - you immediately intuit its effect, but not necessarily what might trigger it.

You also no longer have a Intelligence score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.

5. No Daylight: Create a 10-foot radius cloud of magical darkness & silence within which only you can see & hear as normal, unless they've got some other, better magic to counter yours.

You also no longer have a Wisdom score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.

 

6. Cornpop: Begin rambling - all those within earshot who you so choose must save at a penatly equal to your Brandon [Templates] or be entranced so long as you, you the player & also the character, can keep rambling, paying attention to nothing else that doesn't present a clear and immediate danger, such as an approaching fire or somesuch.

You also no longer have a Charisma score. You can't take damage to that attribute, but you also automatically fail any test of it - though you still believe that you are reasonably competent in it.