Monday, November 5, 2018

D20x5 Gonzo Gangs

Converted from my reddit post here:

Criminally underrated.

This Gang Makes Most Of Its Money...
1 By writing and dealing mind-bending narcotic theorems. Many in the gang are heterodox mathematicians and logicians.
2 Smuggling exotic pets and invasive species. The gang often trafficks with a kudzu-venerating cult.
3 Running anti-protection rackets, extorting money from self-harmers and the suicidal to let them damage themselves.
4 Stealing from the poor to sell to rich poverty tourists.
5 Performing politically subversive plays.
6 Operating an underground chariot race-betting circuit.
7 Selling counterfeit holy relics.
8 Dealing parasitic, psychoactive plants they grow in their own flesh. Members getting high off their own supply is a perennial issue.
9 Renting out slum dwellings. Make common cause with the authorities to squash socialist uprisings.
10 Imitating tax and tithe collectors. Sometimes do such a good job they’re hired by legitimate organizations.
11 Through esoteric manipulations of financial derivatives.
12 Posing as hirelings to adventuring parties then mugging them as they leave a dungeon heavy with loot.
13 Grave robbing and battlefield looting. Also have a decent side hustle supplying necromancers with corpse parts.
14 As hired muscle for various nefarious types.
15 Pawning off cursed/haunted/otherwise awful magical objects onto unsuspecting rubes.
16 With baroque confidence tricks with names like “The Purple-Footed Hare” and “The Leprous Maestro’s Testament”.
17 Robbing other criminal organizations.
18 From donations from adoring fans and wannabe members.
19 Trading information with secret police, inquisitions, spy rings, and the like.
20 Ransoming peoples’ magically stolen genitalia back to them. Their leader is rumoured to have a crotch crowded with the finest pieces from a dozen species.
D20 This Gang Identifies Its Members...
1 By their surgically-swapped thumbs.
2 With spiked and outrageously coloured hair.
3 Through whistling above the normal human hearing range.
4 With medallions shaped like gouged eyes.
5 By a vulgar private sign language.
6 With implanted imp-horn nubs.
7 By a black marble each member has learned to keep in their stomach indefinitely and vomit up at will.
8 With a secret handshake.
9 By piercings under their tongues.
10 With faces painted to look like the undead.
11 By their stained lace ruffs.
12 According to themed codenames.
13 With symbolic tattoos that appear only when coated in vinegar.
14 By their pungent, peppery homemade perfume.
15 Based on the judgement of guard-wasps who will sting anyone who doesn’t regularly consume their hives’ jelly, as the gang does.
16 With cutting-edge street fashion.
17 According to their answers to koan-like riddles.
18 To only a select few within the gang. They operate in a clandestine cell-structure.
19 With a secret slap.
20 By the croaking of their grafted throat-sacks.
D20 This Gang Has Fun By...
1 Racing ramshackle bicycles through the streets.
2 Singing raucous choir music through all hours of the night.
3 Engaging in a bit of the old ultra-violence.
4 Playing highly improvisational games of dice and cards.
5 Bear-baiting.
6 Cat-tossing.
7 Frog-strangling.
8 Performing group readings of stolen books of dark magic.
9 Practicing parkour.
10 Competing in feats of strength.
11 Bare-knuckles boxing.
12 Holding beat poetry tournaments.
13 Pranking lawmen.
14 Finding new and strange drugs to try irresponsibly.
15 Attempting gutter-alchemy and feeding each other their concoctions.
16 Pampering pet rats and knitting them little people-clothes.
17 Fishing with improvised explosives. Also hosting fish-barbecues over bonfires of burning books.
18 Debating vigourously the finer points of egoistic philosophy.
19 Participating in mutual trust exercises.
20 Getting lost then finding their way back to their hideout.
D20 This Gang’s Hideout...
1 Looks like a playground, because it is one. The gang built it as children, and they’ve stuck together ever since.
2 Is located in a drier part of a sewer system. Guarded by their pet amphibiathan.
3 Has walls plastered with their own wanted posters.
4 Is within an enchanted painting.
5 Is hidden beneath the false bottom of a well.
6 Is full of insidious traps. Junior members often fall victim to them.
7 Often hosts wild parties.
8 Can be found within the walls and beneath the floorboards of an abandoned manor.
9 Is drab and depressing. Members try to spend as much time away from it as possible.
10 Shares space with a rogue wizard’s lab.
11 Moves with a travelling circus.
12 Can’t be found by anyone sober.
13 Masquerades as a respectable storefront.
14 Is inside a hollow statue that no one else knows is hollow.
15 Can be accessed through any cupboard with the right knock.
16 Is in the extradimensionally expanded gullet of a goat.
17 Is always well-stocked with fine foods prepared by renowned, kidnapped chefs.
18 Is staked out by the authorities.
19 Is protected by smog-golems.
20 Is public knowledge, but the gang’s top feared for anyone to make a move against them.
D20 This Gang Punishes Transgressors By...
1 Tickling them to death.
2 Repeated dunking in a vat of boiling caramel.
3 Scalping them then putting a cap laced with salt on their head.
4 Making them run across a field of caltrops blindfolded.
5 Removing one of their less vital organs.
6 Stitching them together.
7 Selling them to slavers.
8 Implanting them with punishment parasites.
9 Baking then into an enormous pie. Those that survive are forgiven. Those that do not are delicious.
10 Having each member of the gang stab them once. If the transgressor is well-liked they’ll only get a slight jab.
11 Challenging them to a duel and making sure they get a faulty pistol.
12 Destroying their reputation and framing them for horrid crimes.
13 Trapping them in a hall of magic mirrors.
14 Wiping their memories and giving them a fresh start as new recruits.
15 Gluing them into a pig’s skin and setting a pack of hungry dogs on them.
16 Breaking their limbs and drowning them in a shallow cesspit.
17 Promoting them. Surely if they’re brave enough to cross the gang they must be competent.
18 Stealing all their wealth, leaving them destitute.
19 Tarring and feathering them, except the tar is a predatory slime.
20 Mummifying them while they’re still alive, then putting them on display in the hideout.

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