D20x5 Dastardly Dandies, Ponces, And Rakes/More Expensive But Ethically Sourced Underlings

Some feedback on my D20x5 Orphans post accused it of being “callous“, “reflective of a deep moral failure“, and “repugnant on every conceivable level”. This post is for those feedbackers. Enjoy some fancy lads and lasses who kind of deserve to die in a hole.

Converted from my reddit list here: https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/comments/9v2dfn/d20x5_dastardly_dandies_ponces_and_rakesmore/

As usual, thanks goes to Meandering Banter for the list-maker: https://meanderingbanter.blogspot.com/2018/10/automatic-list-to-html-translator-v2.html

D20	This dandy’s fashion includes...
1	Copious frills, ruffs, and lace.
2	Makeup a clown would be embarrassed to be seen in.
3	Ironically retro elements.
4	Lots of tight black leather.
5	Toplessness and many colours of body paint.
6	Delicate chains and spikes.
7	Artful messiness.
8	Gratuitous sexualized displays.
9	Flowing, billowing silks.
10	Swatches of chainmail.
11	Poofy white furs.
12	Gauzy, sheer fabrics.
13	Old stains of questionable substances.
14	Impractically high heels.
15	A personal brand of perfume.
16	A tattered buff coat covered in pins and medallions.
17	A scarf with razored tassels.
18	Jangling chimes.
19	Counterfeits of high-society wear.
20	Calligraphic obscenities.

D20	This dandy’s attitude is...
1	Symptomatic of an inverted death drive. Suicidal self-destruction turned outwards upon the world and everyone else in it.
2	Irrational self-interest, the aggrandizement of their ego above even their own long-term prospects.
3	Utter, willful ignorance towards the troubles of anyone less fortunate than them.
4	Paranoid aggression towards anything that poses even the slightest threat to them.
5	Despairingly self-pitying.
6	Self-righteous religiosity and prudishness.
7	Jaded daredevilry, dogged pursuit of increasingly extreme stimulation.
8	Quixotic emulation of martial legends.
9	Broody, sour, and judgemental.
10	Crudely amorous towards anyone who pays them a bit of positive attention.
11	Intentionally cryptic and obscure. A wannabe poet.
12	Joyous in the face of death, immensely bored in the face of anything else. Offended if no one else seems to be enjoying things when they are.
13	Whiningly envious of others’ possessions, dangerously possessive of the stuff they’ve already got.
14	Reframing events they take part in so that they always play the role of hero, and others are at best the supporting cast.
15	Subdued and submissive. Not one used to thinking for themself.
16	Serious, humourless, and businesslike about every interaction.
17	Compulsively novelty-seeking.
18	Of a zero-sum perfectionist. For them to improve, others must be crushed down.
19	Neurotic obsession with courtesy, manners, and behaving according to one’s predetermined place in society.
20	Moronic Machiavellianism.

D20	This dandy wields...
1	A brace of pistols engraved with scenes of glorious, bloodless battles, and an antique powder horn with a tiny hole in it.
2	A rapier and parrying dagger with knucklebows and guards shaped like lions rampant.
3	A muzzle-loaded rifle. They’ve been only halfway drilled in its use.
4	A collection of fine knives stolen from their family’s silver drawer.
5	A notched damascene claymore passed down their family line for generations.
6	A poorly maintained sabre their father wore on campaign.
7	A boar spear stolen off the corpse of a poacher who’d been hunting on their family’s property.
8	A shortbow that matches up to competitive regulations, and a quiver of arrows fletched with swan feathers.
9	A wooden pole with nails run through the top bit. A steadfast companion from their slumming days.
10	A needle of a dagger tipped with fast-acting poison. Their nursemaid taught them how to use it.
11	A bec de corbin with a head modelled after their pet falcon’s.
12	A cat o’ nine tails fitted with iron barbs.
13	A combined flintlock-falchion.
14	A mace with mechanical attachments that allow it to be extended into a flail.
15	A bandolier of explosives and pyrotechnics.
16	Exotic (and impractical in the hands of the untrained) weaponry bought off a travelling merchant.
17	A spring-loaded pike that can be collapsed to a convenient length and then extended for combat.
18	A cane sword with a canopic jar containing their grandmother’s mummified pineal gland for a hilt, capped with a cobra’s hooded head.
19	A prosthetic metal hand they can extend claws from by flexing their forearm.
20	Old wine bottles full of their own amateur alchemical concoctions.

D20	This dandy also carries...
1	A golden locket with three scarlet hairs inside. When plucked from the locket, a hair will transform into a skinless monster that dumbly obeys the dandy’s commands for 1d6 rounds before collapsing into a gory mound. Each hair plucked will transform into a stronger monster than the last.
2	An ivory snuffbox packed with their drug of choice.
3	A frayed velvet animal toy they’ve slept with since infancy.
4	An alchemically-preserved nosegay for their sensitive sinuses.
5	A sewing kit. Better suited for fashion than flesh, but could stitch a wound in a pinch.
6	A case of quality cosmetics.
7	An anthology of pulp novels.
8	A pocket-sized triptych of tame pornography.
9	A tin case of soaps and scented oils.
10	A harp they haven’t practiced with since they were a child.
11	A bejewelled pocket watch inlaid with their family crest.
12	A master’s assortment of lockpicking tools they’ve been teaching themself how to use.
13	A copied grimoire rife with inaccurate information.
14	A duellist’s cape.
15	Enough supplies to make passable forgeries of official documents.
16	A jawless, yellowed skull.
17	Some jars of paint and a rolled-up canvas.
18	A fountain pen engraved with their own name.
19	An abacus with faux-gold beads.
20	A flask of rare liquor they’re saving for a special occasion.

D20	This dandy’s family...
1	Recently disowned them.
2	Has bounty hunters seeking to retrieve them.
3	Lost their fortune in a speculative asset bubble.
4	Made their money as smugglers, and still know of every cove and cache spot on the coast.
5	Traffick in slaves.
6	Own a large olive plantation.
7	Claim a long line of judges and lawyers.
8	Are distantly descended from elves.
9	Engage in substantive charity.
10	Covertly seek to kill each other for their inheritance.
11	Are owed favours by many other prominent families.
12	Have a portal to another world somewhere on their estate.
13	All have a demonic parasite-twin attached somewhere on their body.
14	Are being hunted down one by one.
15	Are servants of an alien power.
16	Are patrons of history and archaeology.
17	Are trying to splice magical talent into their blood.
18	Are a cadet branch of the royal line.
19	Preserve their elders as a giant, many-limbed undead hybrid
20	Once served as the honour guard of an infamous wizard.